Love???

[Sween]

From personal experience physical attraction is allways the stimulus for a realtionship. I mean its what you walk up to someone and talk to them etc.

My reationship started off in a kinda strange way vita had liked me for quite a while she first noticed me when i dropped my pants in the middle of main street one new years and how we met was i was in a club and she looked me up and down so i went overand pulled her !

Now as for love you see love i think is one of them things when you find it you know. Its not instantanious at all. Or at least for me it wasnt. Just stricks you one day. Sex indeed came before love i mean i cared for her and liked her but love comes from time and getting to know one another finding them little bits of common ground that were so unlooked for. shareing opinions and getting to know each others friends.

i was never infatuated with her from the start i was a bit of a male slapper sure i liked her but i wasnt one of these that needed to see them everyday but now i dont need to see them every day love is not need we need to eat we need to sleep but love is want to see them everyday.

Im with insdious rex i could tell you within a second of looking at a woman if i wanted to sleep with her but if i would love her takes a long long time

[Sister Golden Hair]

That's my point. Sex isn't love, but love leads to sex.

What do you do when you meet someone that you want to have sex with and they don't want to? Dump them? I think the joy of loveing another is in the learning of each other, and sex becomes part of that as time goes by. It becomes natural and fearless, happy and not strained and presured. If someone is not willing to wait and let a developement of inner feeling take place, and only that physical encounter is the most important, then I would say that it is going to be a challenge because actual true love wasn't there in the beginning. Just MHO.

[Sween]

Originally posted by Sister Golden Hair
That's my point. Sex isn't love, but love leads to sex.

What do you do when you meet someone that you want to have sex with and they don't want to? Dump them? I think the joy of loveing another is in the learning of each other, and sex becomes part of that as time goes by. It becomes natural and fearless, happy and not strained and presured. If someone is not willing to wait and let a developement of inner feeling take place, and only that physical encounter is the most important, then I would say that it is going to be a challenge because actual true love wasn't there in the beginning. Just MHO.

To be honest i have never had that situation arise they have allways wanted to have sex. But i would like to think that i would of waited but thats the world of could of believe it or not sex is far from everything.

I have been with many people that i have not had sex with for ages. You know easily when you meet someone if you have hit it off. Me and Vita for example on the first night we met admitally we went back to my house but we just stayed up all night talking and then fell asleep in each others arms (for any young person if that happens its a wonderfull thing). Whilst in other reationships we have not even waited till we got home to have sex but some of them lasted and some faded into nothing.

I went out with this girl called jenny and she was absoultally stunning think jenifer lopez with bigger boobs. But we just could not find anything to talk about and it was over as quickly as it began not that the sex wasnt good cos it was, it was very good but thats not the point loves not sex sex is passion love is friendship.

But Sister golden hair i think that love is something that takes a long time to establish and making love IMHO adds to the feelings of love and connection between people and no woman i have ever met has ever not wanted to do it

[Sister Golden Hair]

But Sister golden hair i think that love is something that takes a long time to establish and making love IMHO adds to the feelings of love and connection between people and no woman i have ever met has ever not wanted to do it

Don't get me wrong with this remark, because I have a 20 year old son and I am not meaning to be insulting, but just as an observer of sorts I would say that sex before love may be a trademark of a younger generation. I of course am from the old school. That doesn't mean that it couldn't work. I for one think that a lot of young women have sex for the wrong reasons. To impress friends, to keep a fellow, to convince herself that she is wanted. I may be wrong here, but I do believe and even in my generation that there is a difference between the genders and that men are more sexually motivated than women. That's not love, but I do agree with you Sween that love takes time to develope, and if yours came from a physical encounter and is and will be sucessful in marriage and result in a lifetime commitment, then my hat's off to both of you.

[Sween]

Originally posted by Sister Golden Hair
but I do agree with you Sween that love takes time to develope, and if yours came from a physical encounter and is and will be sucessful in marriage and result in a lifetime commitment, then my hat's off to both of you.

thank you very much i hope i will be as well

[TinuvielChild]

Um, Elf.Freak, that's not love. That's lust. Or infatuation. You can't really fall in love with someone unless you've had at least one long, heart-to-heart conversation with them. Somehow, I doubt that you've done that with Orli, and if I'm wrong, then I really envy you...

Seriously now. I think you can be in love more than once in your life. Love is a permanent thing, even if you break up. For example: I was in love about a year ago. I had been for 3 years. But then I broke up with him...not because I didn't love him anymore, but because

• 1. He was going way too fast for me (talking marriage - I'm only a teenager!)
  2. The love had changed, from what you feel for a lover to what you feel for a brother.

Anyway. That's how love works for me, at least.

[Starr Polish]

It's "LOVE", not "LUV". If you don't have the sense to spell it the correct way, you are probably not old enough to be in love. That is not a flame, and I'm not trying to be mean, that is just my opinion.

I believe there is a difference between "love" and "being in love". The former is permanence. I love my mother, I love my sister. My grandmother loves me, and she loves my grandfather, because their's is a permanent relationship. "Being in love" isn't necessarily lust or infatuation, but it is more along those lines. My opinion is that most teenagers dating are in love. I've been in love a few times before. I know the feeling reached past infatuation because I really knew those few people, and we'd fought and I knew of their flaws. I have never truly loved someone in the romantic sense.

For awhile I bounced between whether I believed in hopeless romance or realism. I've pretty much decided I'm a hopeless romantic, though I still hate chick flicks.

LT, when boyfriends talk about marriage and you're still in high school it can be a little frightening. My last and only boyfriend was kind of that way, but I have a similar view. I won't date just to date. Any person you end up dating could very possibly be your future spouse. I'm not saying I plan on getting married while in high school or even in college, but I won't date someone I wouldn't consider marrying in the future.

[Duddun]

I consider "luv" to be what you have for your best friend. And that you can trust that person. And "Love" to be for the person you want to spend your whole life next to. The one you want to have with you at all moments.

[Starr Polish]

SGH, not all of my generation (what generation am I, anyway? Generation Z? 1A?) is sexually motivated, including myself. I think even if my faith wasn't the way it was I'd still wait. Old school, as you call it, is becoming more and more fashionable, even among guys and party animals. I know a lot of girls that are into things like drinking but are going to remain virgins until they're married. Chastity rings are becoming more and more popular.

[Sister Golden Hair]

Originally posted by Starr Polish
SGH, not all of my generation (what generation am I, anyway? Generation Z? 1A?) is sexually motivated, including myself. I think even if my faith wasn't the way it was I'd still wait. Old school, as you call it, is becoming more and more fashionable, even among guys and party animals. I know a lot of girls that are into things like drinking but are going to remain virgins until they're married. Chastity rings are becoming more and more popular.

I didn't say that all of your generation was sexually motivated dear. I said that sex before love seemed to happen more among young people today than say when I was your age. [hence my reference to the old school] I said, and this applies to your generation and mine, that men seem to be more sexually motivated than women. IMHO.

[Sminty_Smeagol]

Loving someone and being in love are 2 seperate things. One is a feeling and one is a decision. Since feelings come and go, so does "being in love". Loving someone does not.

[Sminty_Smeagol]

And then, some of the best, lasting marriages I can think of sprouted from friendships. Like, 2 people of opposite genders who were really close but not romantic interests for the other. the "just friends"... and one married couple I heard about are still "just friends". Just really really good friends, I guess.

[BeardofPants]

I slept with my boyfriend within a month of going out with him. We've been together for almost nine years. Yep, I'm 23. Do the math.

[Baby-K]

Yeah, but you were obviously mature enough to handle a physical relationship. A lot of kids aren't yet they feel pressured to do it anyway.

Hell, when I was that age the closest I came to biys was to tell them off - had not interest in the opposite sex at all.

Good on ya for maintaining the relationship for such a long time

[Sween]

Originally posted by BeardofPants
I slept with my boyfriend within a month of going out with him. We've been together for almost nine years. Yep, I'm 23. Do the math.

You naughty little girl !

How much though does everyone think that sexual experience helps with a realtionship. i mean sex for me is an important past time (god how im missing it) and a but not the key point in a relationship. If its all working in the bedroom it is a big bonus.

As for sex before love its a hard one because i dont people are too fussed these days as sister golden hair had stated. To be sexualy active was in the past a more male thing but these days you get women chaseing you (god help me had a few last night) and putting it on a plate because they like it.

i will admit that i have maybe slept with more people than i should of (or infact on reflection in the morning wanted to) but when you do find that someone then sex isnt even a factor it just part of the deal

[Khamûl]

Rather interesting that the last post on this thread until now came on Valentine's Day. Anyway...


Do you think it's possible to be in love with more than one person at the same time? It's a discussion I've been having and I haven't reached a personal conclusion yet. It's something that I'll have to think about. So what are your thoughts?

[francod]

I think it is quite possible, there have been examples all through books and reality, most notibly Daisy Buchannon in The Great Gatsby. It takes a certian personality type. Most people are not capable of it. (thankfully) People who don't understand it never will because the whole experince is completley forgien to how they view love.( Monogamy being a huge componnet) this needs a spell check

[brownjenkins]

Do you think it's possible to be in love with more than one person at the same time? It's a discussion I've been having and I haven't reached a personal conclusion yet. It's something that I'll have to think about. So what are your thoughts?

most definitely... though i would say that acting on it may not be the best idea

"true love" (i.e. someone you will always love) is when you finally can objectively see all your partner's shortcomings (as well as your own) and you are still willing to accept them... it takes a long time to develop... it is also not necessarily limited to one person in your lifetime

good sex, on the other hand, is all about physical and/or mental attraction... i don't know if love really plays that big of a part in these things

[Sminty_Smeagol]

I think that love is selfless. Love is when you want what's best for that person, even if it isn't what you want.

[Khamûl]

After much deliberation, I have come to the conclusion that it is possible to be in love with more than one person at a time.