"Temporary" Venting Thread IV

[Curufin]

ARGH #)(%*U)$T OIUGYREUHJGIOREGJUH(_#)*%)(#@*^T(

I SOOOOO wish that they would stop calling me into work early. For the past FOUR DAYS they have called me in early, and I'm so exhausted I can hardly see straight.

I"m going to dye my hair blonde tonight. Just because.

[Mari]

Thanks guys! That helped.
But I swear, if anyone else is going to tell me that 'I have so many possibilities' without KNOWING what those possibilities ARE exactly according to them, I'm going to hit them, no matter how well they mean it >_<

[sisterandcousinandaunt]

Maybe spend that time napping, lol.

No, really, Rinke, I know what you mean, and that sux. It feels like they're disrespecting your time.

My vent is faculty who tell you how much time they spent grading your assignment. It has always made me want to respond, "Hey, you could have studied engineering and gotten a real job. Don't blame your poor reading skills on me. "

I didn't say it when I was a student, but since I became a peer, I HAVE dropped a few words to the wise.

[Tessar]

*glomphs Mari in a massive hug that involves three bunny rabbits, two puppies, several kittens, and (somehow) a gigantic teddy-bear*

[Mari]

Ouch?
Thanks Tessar, that's sweet.

[Midge]

Originally Posted by sisterandcousinandaunt

Pardon my saying, Midge, and you're cute as a button, but having "man support" may be kind of the origin of the problem anyway, kwim?

If the message you're sending is, "I'm not quite anybody if no one notices" then you'll attract people who want to complete THEMselves as "protector of the incompetent and needy." I mean , almost anyone is controlling and critical if they see someone as sort of "unfinished."

Put that together with being female and physically small, and you've set up a dynamic that's almost bound to be parental in some fashion.

Well, by "man support" I just mean other guys to hug me and hang out with me (really, not virtually). There's nothing that makes me feel good quite so much as a hug from a good man. I don't know if that makes me creepy or what. But when I was dating the guy, I only ever hugged him, partially because I was practicing loyalty and partially because I was afraid that any other guy I hugged that was built remotely like him would turn into an awkward situation because I could possibly forget myself and react as if I were hugging my boyfriend.

As to the protector part, I do like feeling protected, and I know that it is very easy for someone to feel like they are protecting me because I am so small. I've never thought of myself as "unfinished". Well... I don't know. As long as I can remember, I have always wanted a significant other. I'm not promising I didn't start dating my ex just because he was the first one to ask and mean it. I may not have known it then, but it's always a very real possibility.

Originally Posted by sisterandcousinandaunt

People do that, and it works for some of them. But if you've been feeling tension trying to assert your adulthood between these men who are trying to take care of you, doing things on your own (and with other young women) is a really good way to start determining your limits...figuring out what your strengths are, so you can have romantic relationships that are more peer based.

More than you're interested in hearing, probably.

The thing about me is that I really don't have strong opinions on things like finances and politics and such. I mean, I know what I think, but I'm okay just doing what someone else wants... I'm not usually very passionate about "We HAVE to do this" with that sort of stuff. I'll be more that way with child-rearing and things. The thing that was killing me about the relationship was the fact that I felt like i had to choose. If it had only been one of them, I wouldn't have had any problems. I'm of the "equal but different" idea in marriage. Not that I wouldn't input my opinion, nor do I think my ex wouldn't have asked me. I just don't think I would have had anything particularly influential to contribute.

Originally Posted by Mari

I wants a hug. Today sucked. And the way things are now I just can't see over that bloody hill.

*hugs* No hill goes on forever. I promise. Not even the really tall ones.

[Jonathan]

Phew. Ever had a 6-hour exam that encompasses virtually a year's full of intensive learning and knowledge-gathering? Ever tried to write such an exam with a migraine so nasty your ancestors could feel it?
That's an experience I could have been without. Thank god I didn't throw up during the exam (only prior to and immediately after it)...

But alas, *antivent!*
The exam finally belongs to the past

[Earniel]

Sooo, the fun keeps on coming. My bacterial infection that turns out to be a contact allergy that turns out to be a very atypical behaving contact allergy may eventually be an allergy with a fungus mixed in it that the lab failed to find in the biopsy. Well crap. Anything else? Oh right, if this new salve doesn't help I'm to be referred to the city's University Hospital 'cause the specialist doesn't know what else to throw at this.

*sigh* Why couldn't I have just gotten a cold or a throat infection this winter like everybody else?

[Jonathan]

Maybe the fungus has developed a contact allergy against you? Now that would be a first.

What salve are you using now? (I'd guess it contains a potent steroid plus an antimycotic substance).

[Tessar]

I think it's because the doctors have discovered a mega-virus, and Earniel is the Chosen One who was born to fight against the darkness and be mankind's last hope in our hour of greatest need. Only her DNA is capable of destroying the mega-virus.

[Mari]

I'm sure that's it, Tess

[Tessar]

*sulk* You never say that like you really mean it.

[Mari]

Awww, sorry Tessar. Will you feel better if I give you a big well-meant hug?

[Tessar]

Maybe. *sulk*



But in all seriousness, I'm sorry about this Earniel. That sucks .

Also Jonathan... O.o even the idea of a six hour test sends my soul screaming in fear. Seriously. And sick? At least it's over.

[Earniel]

Originally Posted by Jonathan

Maybe the fungus has developed a contact allergy against you? Now that would be a first.

I was here first! If it wants to develop allergies against me, it can go do that elsewhere! Anyway, you'll get all the details in the mail later tonight, doc. (I hope the nasty migraine has gone by now.)

Originally Posted by Tessar

I think it's because the doctors have discovered a mega-virus, and Earniel is the Chosen One who was born to fight against the darkness and be mankind's last hope in our hour of greatest need. Only her DNA is capable of destroying the mega-virus.

Hm, it doesn't appear to be quite capable of destroying much at the moment...

Well crap, we are truly doomed then.

Oi, DNA of mine, get busy saving humanity, will you? Me first, if you please. No slacking!

[Tessar]

I'm getting kind of annoyed with this choir director... he gets so bitchy and angry, and... frankly he's not good enough to justify it.

I can justify my voice teacher bitching me out for doing something wrong. He's amazing, and he can do what he wants so long as he keeps teaching me what I need. Or I could justify my old diction teacher fussing at me any time I mispronounced a word when I was talking to her... she was a diva, and fantastic.

But this guy?... I'm not trying to say he isn't good. He's a fine director. But he'd have to be a whole lot better for me to justify in my head his amount of jerk-headed-ness. I can handle it because it's not really any more than I expect from a 'creative' person who's in charge of other people... and who certainly isn't a "people person".

What I have trouble handling is that he's been a real jerk to a lot of the choir members who are volunteering, and he took a solo away from my friend. The way he did it was absolutely tactless and inappropriate, and I don't think she deserved to have it taken away.

I can still even handle that somewhat. I mean the church is paying this girl and myself... we're paid to put up with him. But the way he treats the volunteers is atrocious.



I'm also frustrated because I feel like I can't live up to my own potential as a singer. People are starting to tell me that I have a great voice when I sing and do solos and stuff, but I know I'm not doing my best, and I'm wondering if I just don't have the ability to be a real performer.

For instance I had a solo tonight and I got nervous and forgot myself... and looked down at my music for the first maybe six or seven seconds of singing. By looked down I mean I pointed my mouth towards the floor instead of up/out towards the congregation, so my voice went 'down' into my music instead of out towards the people. I fixed it, but GEEZE. What a stupid thing to do... I've always had my music memorized before now when I do a solo, so I just didn't think about it, and I should've had the foresight to think of not looking down.

Plus I just do things wrong. I let my chest sink instead of keeping it up, or I tighten my shoulders, or I pull in on my stomach to hit a high note instead of letting it 'float', or any other number of things that I've been working on so hard this semester.

I just want to be good so badly, and I'm almost starting to feel like I'm sabotaging myself. I guess I just have to work harder.

[Tessar]

*mutter* I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for the rehearsal this morning, and first my mom is wanting to be chatty and start listing off "to-do" items for me. So I listened while I ate and put up with it, then got up to my room as quickly as possible to try to relax a little.

THEN MY DAD FOLLOWED ME UP STAIRS. All he did was stand there for like five minutes asking me did we have enough decongestants? Did we have enough antihistamines? Did we have enough ibuprofen? Did we want tylenol instead of ibuprofen? Were we suuuuuuuuure we didn't want tylenol? etc.

ARGH. I love my parents but OMG a little peace while I get ready for the rehearsal would be lovely...

[Mari]

My sister went with me to the concert yesterday but she so obviously didn't enjoy it
Yes, the choirs were singng a bit off-key, the alto's were non-existent and in general most songs were unknown, but I DID enjoy it. So that kinda spoiled it for me
Still, I had a good time and there were some very good pieces and arrangements, so there! >_<

[Earniel]

Ah darnit, mom, make up your mind. I don't mind making food when you're out working, but I like to know what you want me to do. Do you want the chicken on Monday, do you want me to make it? A simple yes is all it takes! No "um..", no "we'll see". And then not tell me. I don't mind a schedule change, heck we don't even have a schedule 'cos it always changes. I can be flexible but I just want to knoooooow.

Because you're indecisive and I make the chicken, half the time you've changed the menu and brought food yourself. And if I don't make dinner because I don't know what you want to do, you call half an hour before you're home and no, I will not have started the chicken because I didn't know! Now I had to rush between getting your gifts wrapped and cooking the chicken and guess what got burned? I like making food I know how to cook! I don't mind, really, but just teeeell me what you want.

[Mari]

Oh, that sounds so familiar! >_<
*gives Earn a piece of Polish Christmas chocolate as consolation*