The Drunk Elf Pirates and the Quest for the Wine-thieves

[Huorn]

"Before I slept I didn't have branches on me. I could count my leaves with my fingers. I looked very much like you. Now something has happened to me. I have turned into a tree". Oak Leaf looked very unhappy about her newly discovered appearance.

[Lady Willow Rose]

"That makes a certain amount of sense," Enelya told her.

"How so?"

"Well, you are an Entmaid, after all. One would assume that you'd turn into a tree at some point in your life."

[Huorn]

"My mother and I have tended gardens. We love flowers. Why didn't I become a flower? Oak Leaf looked back at the forest. The wood contained many kinds of trees including various kinds of fruit trees. Oak Leaf wondered of those were her sisters, Aunts and mother.

[Lady Willow Rose]

Enelya tried to think of some way to comfort poor Oak Leaf. "Well, um, some flowers grow on trees. Maybe when you're older flowers will grow on you, too!" She smiled weakly.

[Elfmaster XK]

*Aboard the Merchant*

Mr Captain Mcgreevey was in a foul mood. His helmsman had navigated incorrectly and taken them off course, and now they were having to be very careful. Shallows and a hold full of cargo can be a problem to the best of sailors. He scratched his beard when something caught his eye...

Helm: Rum dum...dee dum dum do...

Mr Captain Mcgreevey: YO! AN ENEMY!

Helm: *jumps* Whoa, captain sir where sir?

Mr Captain Mcgreevey: All hands on deck!

Helm: Er sir sir, how'd you know it's an enemy?

Mr Captain Mcgreevey: * Takes helmsman by the collar and points* That, ye bleedin idiot is a pirate ship. See the little flag there? Yeah, yeah...fool. Mungamo!!!! quick...

There was a lot of creaking, and swaying, and a little falling over by some of the crew as the ship shuddered...mysteriously, closer to the pirate ship. Mr Captain Mcgreevey looked like he was going to explode.

Mr Captain Mcgreevey: WHAT IS THIS WITCHERY! MUNGAMO RUN OUT THE GUNS AND BLOW THEM OUT OF THE WATER! This cargo is MINE!

Helm: Sir the ship won't do anything!

Mr Captain Mcgreevey: *takes out his spyglass and sees on deck,
EXK, Eärniel and Rana. (though he does not know that yet) Neither appear to be doing anything and in fact one of them (Eärniel) gives him a little wave. He throws the spyglass down, takes out his pistol and fires it at her.* BACK OFF YE BLOODY PIRATES!!!!! FIRE MUNGAMO FIRE!!!


*Over on the Nal, Eärniel ducks as the bullet flies over her head and plants itself firmly in the mast behind her. They hear the muffled shouting of Mr Captain Mcgreevey.


EXK: Well, that wasn't very nice was it.

Eärniel: No. I think it's time we teach them a lesson. *draws sword* I call the captain!

EXK: *raises eyebrow*

Eärniel: He tried to shoot me!

EXK: *lowers eyebrow Rana, bring us in close as you can, and keep moving we don't want to get too much of their fire. Flannery, Koroush, the guns. Try and take out their gunports if you can. Everyone, be ready to board!

[Lady Willow Rose]

Eresse clutched a rum bottle in her left hand and her sword in the other. She crouched down low, picking out victims.

[Earniel]

*The canons were rolled forward and hastily prepared.*

Eärniel:*yelling to the merchant ship* Come on then, don't be shy! We won't hurt you!

Sicirus: Um, Eärniel? You think they'll believe you while you're waving your sword that them?

Eärniel: *looks at sword she'd already forgotten she had in her hand* You do have a point... *yells to merchant* Not much, anyway! Maybe just a few playful puncture marks!

[Elfmaster XK]

Flannery: We're ready below decks ma'am!

Eärniel: FIRE!

At that moment, both ships started unloading rounds of cannon fire at each other. Flannery and Koroush, both pretty expert with a cannon took out several of the gun ports in the first volley. They were ready to fire again quickly, and as they did a shout was heard above deck.

Sava: Look out! Fire!

Sava pointed across to the other ship. There, the first mate had a flaming arrow at the ready.

EXK: Eresse! Your bottle, take him down!

Eresse: What?! My rum bottle...don...

EXK: DO IT YE SCURVY WORM OR I'LL BE INTROCUCING YE TO DAVY JONES' LOCKER!!!!!

Eresse looked anxiously from the cap'n to the bottle, and closing her eyes she threw it. It flew gracefully in an arc over to the merchant, hitting the mate squarly in the face. He crumpled, but it was too late. The flaming arrow loosed and caught in one of the sails. Eresse stood on her toes, trying to see if her bottle had made it. She signed, relieved as she saw it roll to a halt by some barrels.

EXK: Sava, release the sail, everyone get it overboard, we need to douse the flames.

The sail tumbled down and the crew worked to push it over, without getting burned or setting fire to anything else. At that moment, Koroush fired and the cannonball crashed through the merchant's main mast. It wobbled, and then smashed down between the two ships. The Cap'n grinned.

EXK: Time to jump ship mateys. BOARD PIRATES! And if they give ye any trouble, ye know what to do.

[Lady Willow Rose]

"About time," Eresse grumbled, taking a flying leap onto the other ship. She searched through the debris on deck until she came upon her sturdy rum bottle.

"Die, ye filthy pirate!" Eresse spun around just in time to block the sword that was aiming to take off her head.

"Oy! What's your problem?"

[Earniel]

Eärniel: Board, yes, I can do that.

*Eärniel climbs on the railing. She quickly puts her sword away to have her hands free. Then she grasps a rope that was cut loose from the burnt sail and that is now idly swinging.*

Eärniel: *confident* Can't be too hard. Really.

Sava: *somewhat less sure* Have you ever done that before, swinging from one boat to another?

Eärniel: Hundreds of times! A couple of times... Well... sometimes... actually never, but I followed a written course in it.

Sava: Did that course also include-

*Unfortunately Sava is interrupted by Eärniel's enthousiastic yell as the first mate jumps off the railing. A short swishing sound is heard as the rope slides quickly across the mast and then comes loose completely. Eärniel plunges into the water between the ships from where she muttering and cursing swims to the merchant ship and climbs the ladder there.*

Sava: *finishes her sentence dutifully* -to check whether the rope is still connected to the mast first?

[Lady Willow Rose]

Eresse kicked her attacker in the family jewels and hurried over to help Eärniel onto the ship. "How're you doing?" she asked.

"Fan-bloody-tastic," she grumbled.

"Well, it seems we're winning." Eresse glanced at the fallen bodies and smirked.

[Earniel]

Eärniel: Already?! Awww...no fun. You better have left one for me!

[Lady Willow Rose]

"We saved the best for last!" she declared before pointing at the captain of the merchant vessel. "Have at him."

[Elfmaster XK]

EXK: Wait!

*The crew paused, holding swords over their foes, and looked at their captain.*

Eresse: Why are we waiting, let's kill them!

EXK: Ah young Eresse. * EXK walked past her, snatching her rum bottle out of her hand. She squeeled, wanting to grab the bottle back, but knowing that would be a bad idea.* Questioning me orders eh?

Eresse: No ma'am. It's just... *she jigs a little on the spot, reaching for her bottle and pulling her hand back.* why wait? We're winning!

EXK: Indeed. * EXK turns away from Eresse and stands, hands on hips, with the bottle in her left hand, her sword in her right.* Round them up and tie them to the mast.

Sharkbait: But we blasted it with a chainshot...

Eärniel: *Gives him a withering look* There's another one.

Sharkbait: oh yeah...

Eärniel: Aye. Right, move it! Now!

Merchant: I'm not takin orders from you, you fell off your ship.

Eärniel: *Points her sword at his throat* Then meet my sword. Ye'll be keelhauled fore the day is done. *The merchant looks at the floor and moves.*

EXK: Sharkbait, Sava. Get below decks and see what they got that's worth me time. *As the cap'n speaks, Eresse's hand can be seen trying to sneak the bottle from EXK, who keeps moving it and pointing with it as she talks.* Eresse!

Eresse: *Jumps upright* Yes sir!

EXK: Go up the mast and release the sails. For some reason, we be needin more canvas.


ooc: Just so you know, if you think EXK is picking on Eresse, see post #393 for why

[Grey_Wolf]

Glorfindel III floated about next to one of the ships feeling slightly dizzy, having banged his head on the wooden side of it when he lay there in the water. He still had his weapons, safely stowed on him, tho.

[Farimir Captain of Gondor]

*Sharkbait and Save proceeded down the steps to the belly of the ship*

Sharkbait: So, what do you think we'll find?

Save: I don't know. Could be anything.

Sharkbait: Well, we get first dibs on the good stuff. I'm lookin' for a new pair of pants. I don't know what that girl did to these but they smell like stale rum.

*silence*

Sava: Yeah, well, why don't you go and check out the cargo. I'm going to the captain's quarters and see what I can find there.

SB: No prob.

*He enters the cargo bay to find crates and barrels of numerous numbers with no labels*

SB: Great. Now I'm going to have to open these things up.

* Starts opening crates. Finds rice and wheat in a few and rum in most of the barrels* Rum. There's a shocker. Why couldn't it be whiskey? *comes to one that has new weapons in it*

SB: Nice! *throws the rusty sword that Koroush had given him down and starts shifting through the sorted weapons pulling them out one by one* Ah, to heavy. Too light. Umm, no idea what this thing is. *pulls out a steel, or what appears to be steal, mace with a diamond shaped head* Sweet! Now this is a weapon. *starts to dig through the crate again*

EXK:*yelling down the steps* What are you sea squids doin' down there!? Hurry it up!

[Lady Willow Rose]

Once Eresse was up in mast, she took a moment to concentrate upon her rum bottle. EXK was still waving it about like it was a spoil of war. She narrowed her eyes and whispered a word of power.

The rum bottle turned to sand in the Captain's hand. Eresse grinned and went back to the sails.

[Earniel]

*Eärniel who was standing not far off overseeing the removal of the sails (and who wasn't in a great mood to begin with for being insulted by the merchant captain) overheard the words and frowned disapprovingly.*

Eärniel: *to Eresse* That was a bloody stupid thing to do. Have you ever even served under a captain before?

Eresse: *protests* But it was just one harmless little word.

Eärniel: I'll give you fair warning, Eresse, because yer new 'ere. Just remember this, the last one who thought to get back at the Nal's captain ended up whipped and killed. And justly so, if you're askin' my opinion. You'll not be wantin' to go her way.

[Lady Willow Rose]

Eresse sighed. "I've never done well with authority. Just thought I'd give it a shot."

"Ye'd best get used to authority," Eärniel warned. She just sighed again.

"I also have the weirdest feeling. Like a missing half of me is nearby or something."


~~~~~~~~~~

Enelya looked between the disgruntled Entmaid and the lounging pirate before sighing. "These are not the sort of conditions one would wish for."

[Elfmaster XK]

* EXK brushed the sand from her fingers, and listened to Eärniel scolding Eresse. She let out a little sigh, thinking of a suitable punishment. Sava and SB hurried back up on deck, SB brandishing his shiny new mace with delight. Paying so much attention to the mace he overbalanced and stumbled on the last step.

EXK: Steady there, mate.

SB: *Straightens* Cap’n.

EXK: So? Anything worth having?

Sava: Sir there’s some weapons. Rum…er, food.

EXK: I see. Captain. What is it that ye so wanted to protect eh? This ‘ere ship’s pretty fine. Don’t see many a 20 gun merchant sloop comin our ways.

Mr. Captain McGreevey: **** ****** ***

EXK: Oh. I see. That’s the way ye wants to play it. Sharkbait.

SB: Sir.

EXK: See that mace ye got?

SB: Aye.

EXK: Introduce it to the loverly cap’n’s mate there.

McG’s Mate: WHAT!! Captain!!!!

SB: Er…

EXK: DO IT.

*Sharkbait takes the mace steadily in his hands and approaches the mate, whose eyes are fearful. He struggles, protesting to the captain who is pointedly looking away from his mate, and trying to shift over.*

McG’s Mate: Fine I’ll tell you! I’LL TELL YOU! Go to the captain’s room! It’s in there

Eärniel: What is?

McG: DON’T tell them Mungamo!

McG’s Mate: *Whispering* Gold. Gold nuggets stolen from the African Cape.

EXK: Hmm. Eärniel, go investigate. Sharkbait and Sava you can go with her. I want to get out of here. Bring back up the gold, the rum and the supplies.

*A sail floats down onto the deck, shortly followed by Eresse. Who folds it as best she can and waits. EXK grins, 2 gold teeth showing briefly.*

EXK: Me and little Eresse here will watch the prisoners.