10-14-2004, 03:01 AM | #521 | |
the Shrike
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: San Francisco, CA <3
Posts: 10,647
|
Okay, here goes:
Q. What is brown, and sticky? Warning: questionable content follows:
Ahahahahahahahahaha!! Yes, yes, I am sad enough to admit that this is my favourite joke.
__________________
"Binary solo! 0000001! 00000011! 0000001! 00000011!" ~ The Humans are Dead, Flight of the Conchords |
|
10-14-2004, 06:49 AM | #522 |
The Intermittent One
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: here and there
Posts: 4,671
|
I am always forgetting my watch, so I had an idea for a great invention:
a watch that attaches itself to your belt-buckle! After careful consideration, though, I abandoned the idea, as I thought it would be a waste of time!! |
10-14-2004, 11:17 AM | #523 | |
The Blobbit
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Kent, England (Not Oxford! ... yet...)
Posts: 1,596
|
Quote:
Seriously. BoP: What is wrong with either of our jokes? Both were of fine callibre. Khamûl: What did the Yankees do?
__________________
Janny's Songs Janny's lyrics and random photographs Tradition means giving votes to the most obscure of all classes, our ancestors. It is the democracy of the dead. Tradition refuses to submit to the small and arrogant oligarchy of those who happen to be walking about. ~ Mercutio... erm, GK Chesterton. |
|
10-14-2004, 12:38 PM | #524 |
Fëanorophobic
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Between the pages of a book
Posts: 1,417
|
A guy went to a shrink and said "Doctor, you gotta help me. Every night I go to sleep, I dream of ducks playing a soccer game."
So the doctor told him "Here, take this pill, and you'll never have this dream again." -"Can I come take this pill tomorrow?" -"Why?" -"Because today they're playing the semi-finals." |
10-14-2004, 04:06 PM | #525 | |
Slacker
Warrior Admin Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Alabama
Posts: 2,759
|
Quote:
BoP: I'll have to tell that joke to my girlfriend and see what kind of look I get.
__________________
"If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you." Gandalf to Pippin Psalm 107:31 |
|
10-14-2004, 04:17 PM | #526 | |||
Co-President of Entmoot
Super Moderator Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 8,397
|
Quote:
__________________
"I can add some more, if you'd like it. Calling your Chief Names, Wishing to Punch his Pimply Face, and Thinking you Shirriffs look a lot of Tom-fools." - Sam Gamgee, p. 340, Return of the King Quote:
Quote:
|
|||
10-14-2004, 11:57 PM | #527 | |
the Shrike
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: San Francisco, CA <3
Posts: 10,647
|
An old man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his potato garden but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son Fred, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.
Dear Fred, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me. - Love, Dad A few days later he received a letter from his son: Dear Dad, For heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the BODIES. - Love, Fred At 4 am the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son. Dear Dad, Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances. - Love, Fred Quote:
__________________
"Binary solo! 0000001! 00000011! 0000001! 00000011!" ~ The Humans are Dead, Flight of the Conchords |
|
10-15-2004, 04:51 AM | #528 | |
The Intermittent One
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: here and there
Posts: 4,671
|
Quote:
|
|
10-16-2004, 02:26 PM | #529 |
Fëanorophobic
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Between the pages of a book
Posts: 1,417
|
Not exactly a joke, it's just something funny that happens to me almost everyday and I found no other place to post it. Here's how I'm reminded of Entmoot during my math lessons:
My math teacher doesn't speak very good english. So whenever she threatens somebody about "telling the principle" on them or whenever she talks about complaining about something she always says: "I WILL INFORM THE ADMINISTRATORS." |
10-17-2004, 06:45 AM | #530 |
The Blobbit
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Kent, England (Not Oxford! ... yet...)
Posts: 1,596
|
My friends have a maths teacher who can barely speak English. When she wants someone to move seats because they are too noisy etc, she commands very loudly and sharply: 'SIT AWAY!'...
Just me then... *satisfied sigh* PS: BoP, terribly sweet joke.
__________________
Janny's Songs Janny's lyrics and random photographs Tradition means giving votes to the most obscure of all classes, our ancestors. It is the democracy of the dead. Tradition refuses to submit to the small and arrogant oligarchy of those who happen to be walking about. ~ Mercutio... erm, GK Chesterton. |
10-18-2004, 01:37 PM | #531 | ||
Co-President of Entmoot
Super Moderator Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 8,397
|
I love your jokes BoP.
All these jokes are from this hilarious site. Nickel or Dime? Some kids were in the habit of teasing one of their group by repeatedly offering him a choice between a nickel and a dime. He always chose the nickel, "because it's bigger." One day, a friend took him aside and asked, "Don't you know that a dime's worth more than a nickel?" The kid answered, "Yeah, but if I picked the dime they'd stop doing it!" Original title: "Pavlov's birds" (obviously not from a psycholgist) An MIT student spent an entire summer going to the Harvard football field every day wearing a black and white striped shirt, walking up and down the field for ten or fifteen minutes throwing birdseed all over the field, blowing a whistle and then walking off the field. At the end of the summer, it came time for the first Harvard home football game, the referee walked onto the field and blew the whistle, and the game had to be delayed for a half hour to wait for the birds to get off of the field. The guy wrote his thesis on this, and graduated. The Professor's Wish A grad student, a post-doc, and a professor are walking through a city park and they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one." "Me first! Me first!" says the grad student. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat with a gorgeous woman who sunbathes topless." Poof! He's gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the post-doc. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with a professional hula dancer on one side and a Mai Tai on the other." Poof! He's gone. "You're next," the Genie says to the professor. The professor says, "I want those guys back in the lab after lunch."
__________________
"I can add some more, if you'd like it. Calling your Chief Names, Wishing to Punch his Pimply Face, and Thinking you Shirriffs look a lot of Tom-fools." - Sam Gamgee, p. 340, Return of the King Quote:
Quote:
|
||
10-18-2004, 02:16 PM | #532 | |
Quasi Evil
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Maryland, US
Posts: 4,634
|
Quote:
__________________
"People's political beliefs don't stem from the factual information they've acquired. Far more the facts people choose to believe are the product of their political beliefs." "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." |
|
10-23-2004, 01:38 PM | #533 |
Elentári
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: South Africa
Posts: 727
|
Mary had a little lamb...
... and all the doctors fainted |
10-23-2004, 02:49 PM | #534 |
The Blobbit
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Kent, England (Not Oxford! ... yet...)
Posts: 1,596
|
I laughed! I'm so sad...
__________________
Janny's Songs Janny's lyrics and random photographs Tradition means giving votes to the most obscure of all classes, our ancestors. It is the democracy of the dead. Tradition refuses to submit to the small and arrogant oligarchy of those who happen to be walking about. ~ Mercutio... erm, GK Chesterton. |
10-23-2004, 04:19 PM | #535 |
Warrior of the House of Hador
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 4,651
|
Does laughing to that make you sad?
__________________
Then Huor spoke and said: "Yet if it stands but a little while, then out of your house shall come the hope of Elves and Men. This I say to you, lord, with the eyes of death: though we part here for ever, and I shall not look on your white walls again, from you and me a new star shall arise. Farewell!" The Silmarillion, Nirnaeth Arnoediad, Page 230 |
10-24-2004, 06:24 AM | #536 |
The Blobbit
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Kent, England (Not Oxford! ... yet...)
Posts: 1,596
|
Depends what you laugh at.
__________________
Janny's Songs Janny's lyrics and random photographs Tradition means giving votes to the most obscure of all classes, our ancestors. It is the democracy of the dead. Tradition refuses to submit to the small and arrogant oligarchy of those who happen to be walking about. ~ Mercutio... erm, GK Chesterton. |
10-26-2004, 02:37 PM | #537 |
Elentári
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: South Africa
Posts: 727
|
Damn. Was my joke that bad?
|
10-26-2004, 02:41 PM | #538 | ||
Co-President of Entmoot
Super Moderator Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 8,397
|
I thought it was great!
I told my boyfriend and he laughed.
__________________
"I can add some more, if you'd like it. Calling your Chief Names, Wishing to Punch his Pimply Face, and Thinking you Shirriffs look a lot of Tom-fools." - Sam Gamgee, p. 340, Return of the King Quote:
Quote:
|
||
10-26-2004, 02:43 PM | #539 |
Elentári
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: South Africa
Posts: 727
|
Thanx
|
10-26-2004, 05:01 PM | #540 |
The Blobbit
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Kent, England (Not Oxford! ... yet...)
Posts: 1,596
|
No. I thought it was funny.
__________________
Janny's Songs Janny's lyrics and random photographs Tradition means giving votes to the most obscure of all classes, our ancestors. It is the democracy of the dead. Tradition refuses to submit to the small and arrogant oligarchy of those who happen to be walking about. ~ Mercutio... erm, GK Chesterton. |
|
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
Discussion Thread: Nomads from the East | Nurvingiel | RPG Forum | 83 | 02-21-2005 07:23 PM |