07-01-2004, 05:57 AM | #501 |
The Blobbit
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Kent, England (Not Oxford! ... yet...)
Posts: 1,596
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I got it without explaination! *pokes sun-star*
It's just in the UK we have the NHS where you don't pay to get a wait for 14 weeks for treatment or the free superbug infection...
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Janny's Songs Janny's lyrics and random photographs Tradition means giving votes to the most obscure of all classes, our ancestors. It is the democracy of the dead. Tradition refuses to submit to the small and arrogant oligarchy of those who happen to be walking about. ~ Mercutio... erm, GK Chesterton. |
07-01-2004, 06:28 AM | #502 |
Lady of Letters
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Either Oxford or Kent, England
Posts: 2,476
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Janny -
And then Satan chuckled and created foundation hospitals, patient choice and a two-tier health system
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And all the time the waves, the waves, the waves Chase, intersect and flatten on the sand As they have done for centuries, as they will For centuries to come, when not a soul Is left to picnic on the blazing rocks, When England is not England, when mankind Has blown himself to pieces. Still the sea, Consolingly disastrous, will return While the strange starfish, hugely magnified, Waits in the jewelled basin of a pool. |
07-01-2004, 07:36 AM | #503 |
Lady of Letters
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Either Oxford or Kent, England
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Janny replies: No, that's someone else who wears a red tie and sings 'The Red Flag'...
Bloody cookies
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And all the time the waves, the waves, the waves Chase, intersect and flatten on the sand As they have done for centuries, as they will For centuries to come, when not a soul Is left to picnic on the blazing rocks, When England is not England, when mankind Has blown himself to pieces. Still the sea, Consolingly disastrous, will return While the strange starfish, hugely magnified, Waits in the jewelled basin of a pool. Last edited by sun-star : 07-01-2004 at 02:09 PM. |
07-01-2004, 07:39 AM | #504 |
The Blobbit
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Kent, England (Not Oxford! ... yet...)
Posts: 1,596
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Wait... I thought I just said that... *wimpers* dumb cookies...
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Janny's Songs Janny's lyrics and random photographs Tradition means giving votes to the most obscure of all classes, our ancestors. It is the democracy of the dead. Tradition refuses to submit to the small and arrogant oligarchy of those who happen to be walking about. ~ Mercutio... erm, GK Chesterton. |
07-01-2004, 02:10 PM | #505 |
Lady of Letters
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Either Oxford or Kent, England
Posts: 2,476
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I don't get that joke either. We don't blame Gordon Brown for foundation hospitals, young man
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And all the time the waves, the waves, the waves Chase, intersect and flatten on the sand As they have done for centuries, as they will For centuries to come, when not a soul Is left to picnic on the blazing rocks, When England is not England, when mankind Has blown himself to pieces. Still the sea, Consolingly disastrous, will return While the strange starfish, hugely magnified, Waits in the jewelled basin of a pool. |
07-01-2004, 02:14 PM | #506 |
High King at Annuminas Administrator
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Wyoming - USA
Posts: 10,752
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As for the 48 hours thing, HMO's were notorious for prescribed lengths-of-stay in a hospital permitted for various conditions (primarily as a cost-cutting measure).
On the first joke - as far as Satan creating HMO's... they have just become in general the butt of jokes here in America.
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My Fanfic: Letters of Firiel Tales of Nolduryon Visitors Come to Court Ñ á ë ?* ó ú é ä ï ö Ö ñ É Þ ð ß ® ™ [Xurl=Xhttp://entmoot.tolkientrail.com/showthread.php?s=&postid=ABCXYZ#postABCXYZ]text[/Xurl] Splitting Threads is SUCH Hard Work!! |
07-01-2004, 03:06 PM | #507 |
The Blobbit
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Kent, England (Not Oxford! ... yet...)
Posts: 1,596
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After George Bush?
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Janny's Songs Janny's lyrics and random photographs Tradition means giving votes to the most obscure of all classes, our ancestors. It is the democracy of the dead. Tradition refuses to submit to the small and arrogant oligarchy of those who happen to be walking about. ~ Mercutio... erm, GK Chesterton. |
07-01-2004, 03:12 PM | #508 |
AngAdan
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Boerne, Texas
Posts: 856
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A liberated couple and their young son, go to the nude beach. After a little while the boy runs up to his mother and says
"mommy, mommy, all the ladies have bigger bobbies than you" "Well, son, the bigger, the dumber" a little while later he runs up and says "mommy, mommy, all the men have bigger wee-wees than daddy" "well, son, the bigger, the dumber" a third time he runs up and says "mommy, mommy, daddy is talking to the DUMBEST woman you ever saw, and the more he talks to her, the DUMBER he gets." |
08-19-2004, 08:08 AM | #509 |
Domesticated Swing Babe
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Reality
Posts: 5,340
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Aack! Just caught that lefty!
A young redhead goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me." She takes her finger, pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She then pushes her knee and screams, and pushes her ankle and screams. Everywhere she touches makes her scream. The doctor says, "You're not really a redhead, are you?" "No," she says, "I'm actually a blond." "I thought so," the doctor says. "Your finger is broken."
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Happy Atheist Go Democrats! |
08-19-2004, 09:26 AM | #510 |
Fëanorophobic
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Between the pages of a book
Posts: 1,417
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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were sitting together in a cafe, when all of a sudden a light comes down on them from the sky and a deep voice says:
"Each of you should come forth and say why she thinks other people like her. If what she says is true, she'll go straight to Heaven. If it isn't, she'll go straight to Hell." So the redhead comes forth; she says: "I think people like me because I'm beautiful." She gets sucked straight to Hell. Next comes the brunette; she goes: "I think people like me because I'm kind and understanding." She gets sucked straight to Hell. Finally, the blonde woman steps forth and says: "I think..." She gets sucked straight to Hell |
08-19-2004, 09:33 AM | #511 |
Fëanorophobic
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Between the pages of a book
Posts: 1,417
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A man with a heart condition won the million-dollar jackpot in lottery. All of his relatives are afraid to tell him, seeing how his heart couldn't handle the shock and all. Finally they go to a psychiatrist and ask him for advice. He said: "I'll handle it personally."
So he went to the man and asked him: "What would you do if I told you you won a million dollars?" So the man replied: "I'd give you half a million." The psychiatrist dropped dead from a heart attack. |
08-19-2004, 10:19 AM | #512 | |
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Narnia
Posts: 1,656
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Quote:
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Mike nodded. A sombre nod. The nod Napoleon might have given if somebody had met him in 1812 and said, "So, you're back from Moscow, eh?". Interested in C.S. Lewis? Visit the forum dedicated to one of Tolkien's greatest contemporaries. |
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08-19-2004, 04:58 PM | #513 | |
Fëanorophobic
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Between the pages of a book
Posts: 1,417
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Quote:
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08-19-2004, 05:18 PM | #514 |
Fëanorophobic
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Between the pages of a book
Posts: 1,417
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Three men died and went to Heaven. The angel standing at the Pearly Gates told them: "Heaven is actually a large place and you'll need vehicles to help you get around in there. Each one of you will be given a vehicle according to how good he was on Earth. Now each of you tell me, how many years he was married and how many times he cheated on his wife."
The first man: "I was married for 50 years, and I cheated on my wife 20 times". The Angel: "That's good! You take a Mercedes." The second man: "I was married for 60 years, and I cheated on my wife 10 times." The Angel: "Great! You get the BMW." The third man: "I was married for 70 years, and I never cheated on my wife." The Angel: "That's perfect! You get the Aston Martin." Each one of them takes his car and they enter Heaven. They drive together for a while, when all of a sudden they see the man in the Aston Martin pull over and start to cry. They come to him and ask why he's crying so bitterly when he's got the best car around, so he said: "I just saw my wife travelling around on a skateboard!" |
08-25-2004, 09:37 AM | #515 |
Queen of Nargothrond
Administrator Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Akron, Ohio - USA
Posts: 7,121
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After returning from his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride, Virginia,
Luigi stopped by his old barbershop in Cleveland to say hello to his friends. Giovanni said, "Hey Luigi, how wasa da treepa?" Luigi said, "Everytinga wasa perfecto except for da traina ride down." "Whata you mean, Luigi?" asked Giovanni. "Well, we boarda da train at Grana Central Station. My beautiful bride, Virginia, she pack a biga basket a food. She broughta vino, some nice cigars for me, and we were looking a forward to da trip. Everytinga wasa Okey Dokey until we getta lil' bit hungry and open upa da luncha basket. The conductore come a by, waga hisa finger at us anda say, "no eata in disa car. Musta use a dining car." "So, me and my beautiful bride Virginia, we go to dining car, eata biga luncha and start to open a bottle of nice a vino!" Conductore walka by again, waga hisa finger and say, "No drinka in disa car. Musta use a cluba car." So, we go to club car. While drinkina vino, I start to lighta my biga cigar. The conductore, he waga his finger again and say, "No smokina disa car Musta go to smokina car." "We go to smokina car and I smoke a my biga cigar." Then my beautiful bride Virginia and I, we go to sleeper car anda go to bed. We just about to go boomada boomada and the conductore, he walka through da hall shoutin' at da top of hisa voice, "Nofolka Virginia! Nofolka Virginia!'" "Next time, I'ma gonna take a da bus!!"
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"Whither go you?" she said. "North away." he said: "to the swords, and the siege, and the walls of defence - that yet for a while in Beleriand rivers may run clean, leaves spring, and birds build their nests, ere Night comes." AboutNewJersey.com - New Jersey Travel and Tourism Guide |
08-25-2004, 10:06 AM | #516 |
Fëanorophobic
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Between the pages of a book
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A married couple from Chicago decided to summer in Miami. The woman was on a business trip and the plan was for her husband to go to Miami before her and wait for her.
When he arrived at the hotel, he decided to e-mail his wife to tell her of his safe arrival. He fumbled in his pockets for the slip of paper where he had written her e-mail down. At the end he couldn't find it and decided to write down the e-mail address from memory. However, he made a mistake in just one letter and the e-mail ended up being sent to the wife of a priest whose husband had just died the previous day. The poor woman dropped down dead when she received the e-mail. When her son came and found her dead, he looked at the computer screen and here's what he found: Dearest wife, Last edited by Beren3000 : 08-25-2004 at 10:07 AM. |
08-25-2004, 01:54 PM | #517 | |
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Narnia
Posts: 1,656
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Quote:
lol--that was my loud and obnoxious laughing
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Mike nodded. A sombre nod. The nod Napoleon might have given if somebody had met him in 1812 and said, "So, you're back from Moscow, eh?". Interested in C.S. Lewis? Visit the forum dedicated to one of Tolkien's greatest contemporaries. |
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10-13-2004, 04:32 PM | #518 | |
The Blobbit
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Kent, England (Not Oxford! ... yet...)
Posts: 1,596
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How many Marxists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Teeheehee! *Breaks down into childish giggling*
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Janny's Songs Janny's lyrics and random photographs Tradition means giving votes to the most obscure of all classes, our ancestors. It is the democracy of the dead. Tradition refuses to submit to the small and arrogant oligarchy of those who happen to be walking about. ~ Mercutio... erm, GK Chesterton. |
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10-13-2004, 06:34 PM | #519 |
the Shrike
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: San Francisco, CA <3
Posts: 10,647
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That's almost as bad as my brown and sticky joke. Not quite as bad. But almost.
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"Binary solo! 0000001! 00000011! 0000001! 00000011!" ~ The Humans are Dead, Flight of the Conchords |
10-14-2004, 12:38 AM | #520 | |
Slacker
Warrior Admin Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Alabama
Posts: 2,759
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Quote:
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"If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you." Gandalf to Pippin Psalm 107:31 |
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