The Drunk Elf Pirates and the Quest for the Holy Wine

[Earniel]

Eärniel: Thanks for the offer, Luthien. But I don't think that'll be eno... *piglet-squeals interrupt her* Did you hear that?

Luthien: Yes... it sounded like...

Eärniel: ...a piglet...

Luthien: Yeah...

*Confused, they look at each other and then look over the railing. The see their crewmates on shore, surrounded by piglets.*

Eärniel: Piglets? What the blazes is going on there?

Luthien: Seeing the little happy-dance Willow and Tano do every time a piglet appears, I'd say it's their ultimate weapon.

Eärniel: An ultimate weapon that turns people into piglets? Whatever next?

Luthien: Best not to ask.

Eärniel: Yer right. Let's help them aboard. Piglets or no, it seems to me a very good idea to get a lot of distance between us and this island very soon.

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

ooc: A few things: Luthien. What is a "kitchen" called on a boat? Morover, I take it back. THere was no cannon fire. Just the sound of a catapult. (secondarily, they are slanderers; sixth and lastly, they have belied a lady; thirdly, they have verified unjust things; and to conclude, they are lying knaves.)

ic:
EG: A hand with the mate, please!

The Captain, the Mate, and her Adorable Crew, and Flannery, are helped aboard, amid cheers of a crew very glad indeed that they are alive, and the sound of squealing piglets. Or at least, that all but Flannery is alive, and that Flannery is still as he was before.

EG: Good job, Earniel. CREW! Prepare to sail! We leave Tortuga now!

Meanwhile, back on shore. . .

The falcon returned to Zavron, making cute chirping noises.

Zavron: What? Piglets? What? Gah!

Zavron runs to the shore, just to see the Nal departing.

Zavron: Wait! WAIT! I wanted to talk to the Captain!

He begins to swim after them, the falcon flying above him

[zavron]

*catches up to boat and starts climbing slipping back into the sea several times.*

Zav: Help!! *Climbing over rail.*

Eär: Who are you?*Draws sword*

Zav: I'm the lonely sailor you were talking to on the shore. Now, are you going to stand there all day or are you gonna help me?

*Helps zavron aboard.*


Meanwhile, the falcon swooped down and with a small 'plop!' sound, a large dollop of birdpoo landed on the captains head.

Eg: Arghhh! Get that blasted bird away from me!

Zav: *Inspecting bird poo from distance.* Looks like Diarhea(Sp?). Must be having troubles with his bowls.

[Elfmaster XK]

OOC: EG has a hat on Zav

IC

The Captain glances at the bird, perched on the rigging and snatches her hat off of her head, throwing it at Zavron. She steps right up to him and points.

EG - I don't know who you are, or why you're here, but you clean that hat, and that bird will be shot if it cannot be better controlled.
Zav - *nods* But Captain! I wanted to...
EG - Not now! Roya! Take him to the brig!
Zav - But this is a ship! I need transport!
Roya - Yes, ma'am. And this be a pirate ship, mate. *grins and grabs Zavron, dragging him out of sight, the falcon following him down into the ship.*
EG - *Standing at the helm, looking back at Tortuga* Come on Nal, faster....Eärniel, are all the sails hoisted?
Eärniel - Yes Captain. But the wind isn't very good.
EG - Tano? Look out.
Tano - What? *spins* What?
EG - No, *points* I want you to be our lookout.
Tano - Ah...I see. *begins to climb up to the crows nest.
EG - Eärniel, you're in charge, Willow, I want you to make sure all the cannons are still loaded and then stay on deck with Eärniel. Anything happens come and get me immediately. Katt, Luthien, Arathorn...keep the ship up to speed.
Katt - I'm a cook...*mutters to self*
EG - Oh, and one more thing, will one of you secure that bloody starboard anchor. I can see it's gonna drop by itself.
Willow - Yes Captain. I'll do it.
EG - Good. Alex, Flannery, help me with the Mate.
Alex - Yes ma'am.
Flannery - Aye.

They pick XK up and transfer her from the deck to Eruviel's cabin. EG gets out a glass and pours herself some rum, slamming it back immediately. Then she offers the others a drink. XK is looking blurry-eyed, but intently alert, and muttering randomly.

XK - Urrrrrrrm...
EG - *raises eyebrow* What?
XK - Ruuuuuurm.
EG - Ah. *pours some* Here.
XK - Mmm. *downs* Thank ye cap'n.
Alex - We should get a bandage on that.
XK - You! Failed again, eh? *grins* Idiot.
EG - What are you talking about?
Alex - This time, I am not trying to kill you.
XK - *scoffs* So why are you here?
EG - The crew rescued him. *blinks* You tried to kill my sister?
Alex - *backs away a little* No. I mean. Not really. Sort of but that was ages ago and I didn't. Someone was going to pay me to!
Flannery - *shakes head* Wrong thing. Wrong thing to say.
EG - Y...I...res...*seems to be having trouble forming sentences*
Alex - I'm not trying now!
EG - *yeslls* How do we know that?
Flannery - *soberly* Being dead ain't so bad ye know. *both glance at him* What?
Alex - *getting angry too*Look, I didn't kill her the first time, since then we've met twice, she stabbed me the first time, and the last was in the brig on the other ship. I don't want to go into the whole story because it is long and complicated and if we waste time yelling about it then how is that going to help your sister!
Flannery - I think she passed out.

EG and Alex glance at each other and then at XK. EG is about to speak when there is a deep rumble and she feels the timbers in the ship begin to creak and quiver.

EG - *curses and reaches for desk* What the...

Meanwhile in the brig, Roya has shoved Zavron in a cell and is humming as she walks away, swinging her keys on her finger.

Zav - IT'S NOT FAIR!!! I ONLY WANTED TO TALK TO THE CAPTAIN, LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT!
Roya - *turns* Life's not fair, mate. *bounces up the stairs*
Zav - *slams himself down in the cell* Bloody pirates.

[Indril Anarion]

Luthien: *to Katt* Should I go nourish the new prisoner? I'm sure he's hungry by now. I could fix sonething up for 'im in the gulley.

Katt: *ponders a moment* *to Luthien* Very well, go ahead. I'm to busy here anyhow.

Luthien: Rushes to the gulley and prepares a sandwich for the prisoner. Serves some ale in a pint and puts it on a tray beside the sandwich. Takes the tray to the brig 'Ello there, mate! Just thought ye might want some food. Slips tray through the railing

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

ooc: Careful, Zavron. Careful. Think before you type, man. You're not exactly on the best terms with me now, are ye, mate? So. Careful. Because now you're stuck in the brig, and you might not have been otherwise.


ic:

The Cap'n notices what Luthien's doing and runs down to the brig. . .

EG: Luthien! Take back the food!
Luthien: But--
EG: Did you just say "but" to your captain?
Luthien: Er...
EG: I thought so. Take back the food.
Zavron: But--
EG: Silence! I don't have the time to deal with you right now, but you don't get to eat nicely while you're here. I might give you scraps if you're good, but right now I don't have the resources to feed a prisoner as well.
Zavron: *looks very sad indeed*
EG: Look, I don't know you, I don't trust you, I have no idea what you were doing swimming after my ship, and now I have to go lecture the crew on whether or not it is a good idea to pull someone out of the water...which it certainly isn't.
Zavron: I just--
EG: *storms off* I don't have time for this.

Meanwhile, Tano and Willow were watching from the background.
Tano: Well isn't she in a bad mood. ..

[Earniel]

OOC: Zavron, how could I have helped you on board? I don't KNOW you! I wasn't in the group that went ashore so saying "you're the lonely sailor on the shore I talked to" isn't going to get me help you aboard. In fact I would have pushed you back, because I'd be thinking you were an enemy.

OOC2: Boy, it seems to become tradition to throw any newcomer into the brig. Ye be warned.

IC:

Eärniel: *comes running* Ma'm? Sir? Captain?

EG: Not now, Eärniel.

Eärniel: Sorry Captain, but I wanted to know whether you er.. pigletted Obsidian.

EG: Why do you ask?

Eärniel: Because I think the Emerald Star has just left Tortuga and gave chase. And I don't know whether piglets make such good sailors.

[Indril Anarion]

Luthien: *shrugs* *takes back food* Sorry, mate. I know how ya feel. I was also a prisoner on this ship and look at me now. Just behave...the Cap'n and ccrew don;t like it when ya take their things...I speak from experience....it's tough at first, but be nice and they'll let you out...I think

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

OOC: I second what Earniel said...that's what I was talking about earlier, just to clarify. Zavron, I told you before you joined that you have to be a little more sensible to join the quest. Now, you're not being sensible if you a. Catch up with our boat while swimming, and b. have someone help you aboard when we don't know you. So, as I said, careful.

ic:

EG: Oh. Joy. Being followed. Well, we don't know how long the affect of the weapon lasts. . .anyway, we're faster, we can lose them. That ship is too bloody big to be able to catch us up. I hope.
Earniel: I hope so too, Cap'n. .. *looks worried*
Flannery: Anything I can do to help, Cap'n?
EG: Well, if you think you can puncture holes in their ship undetected, than yes. Otherwise, no.
Flannery: I'll work on that. . .

OOC2: Saw someone last night who looks like Flannery, just less fluffy and paler hair. That was wierd.

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

OOC: Refusing nourishing food to our prisioner? I'm gonna have to sneek some by you. I refuse to see anyone underfed. If you catch me you can through me overboard. I'm game.

*Luthien tries to sneak back into the galley with the food.*

Katt: I thought you were gonna give that to the prizioner.

Luthien: The captian says no.

Katt: What? Are we barbaric here?

Luthien: She says we don't have enough supplies.

Katt: Well, I'm just going to have to give him some from my own stores. *Waves hand vaugely* Now put that down and lets help sail this thing.

*As the were leaving, Zavron got a nourishing bowl of chicken soup.*

OOC: Ok, I'll delete it if you REALLY don't want him to have food.

[Willow Oran]

And so they sailed, and sailed, and sailed, and sailed, and then they sailed some more. Ever trying to outdistance the pursuit and never quite manageing to do so. Fortunately the pursuit never seemed to catch up and they continued like this for what seemed an eternity. Sailing forever in an endless stream of non-inspired story line limbo, awaiting the day when someone among the crew would come up with something to do and do it, waiting for their Cap'n's plan.

[Earniel]

*And then suddenly one morning, the Nal finds herself alone at sea. No sign of the Emerald star can be seen anywhere on the horizon.*

Eärniel: *looking over railing* That's odd.... Where did they go?
Tano: I don't know. They were there behind us yesterday. I wonder why they stopped following us today. Now that I think of it, where are we anyway? We've sailed so much I kind of lost track.
Eärniel: *takes map out of her pocket* Last time I looked, yesterday morning that was, we were entering this area here *points* where it says "Here be monsters".

*Silence.*

Tano: You reckon that's why they stopped following?
Eärniel: Nah, it's tradition to put the warning "Here be monsters" on maps when no ship has sailed these waters yet so no ship returned to write down any details about currents and sorts for the map makers.
Tano: Is that "no ship returned" as in: "No ship returned because they didn't sail these waters yet" or in "No ship returned because there are monsters here"?

*More silence.*

Eärniel:*scratches head* You know, that's a question nobody ever asked me before...

*Even more silence.*

Eärniel: Can your secret weapon turn monsters into piglets?
Tano: Only one way to find out.
Eärniel: Oh.

*Silence, yet again.*

Tano: Let's ask the captain where she wants to go now, shall we?
Eärniel: Good idea.

*They go below deck, looking for the captain*

[Elfmaster XK]

Below deck Cap'n Eruviel had been pacing in front of her desk, occasionally picking up the map that lay there, knowing they were no longer in that region, and so placing it back and picking up the spyglass. Flannery was lounging in her hammock, gazing out of the window. Alex had gone above deck to help Willow and Tano keep the ship sailing at full capacity, and XK was now conscious, drinking from a bottle of rum.

XK - Captain, what do you think we should do?
EG - I don't know. *moments silence and she goes to the window* Alls quiet. Worries me, mate.
XK - Aye, Obsidian's not one to give up. He'll be waiting...bidin' his time until we're not ready for 'im.
EG - I don't like this.

*silence again*

Flannery - You know, captain...we are heading in the right direction. For...for the island, you know. That none living can find.
EG - That's good, but if we're being followed then that's not going to help us much, eh?
Flannery - We could hide. One the island. None are dead on their ship to show them the way.

*knocks on the door and Eärniel and Tano enter*

EG - What's wrong? Is the Emerald Star back on our tail?
Eärniel - No captain. It's just that we've sailed so far out, we be off the edge of our maps into uncharted waters.
Tano - Aye, look it says "here there be monsters."
EG - I thought they did that out of tradition?
Eärniel - Yeah, so did I.
EG - *exchanges a concerned look with the navigator* Hmm.
Tano - *whispers to Eärniel* I know that hmm.
Eärniel - You do?
Tano - It means we're going where the monsters are.
Eärniel - Eep....you mean, potentially are, I mean they might not be there at all...tradition and all.
Flannery - Captain...
EG - Yes. Alright, Flannery and I go with Eärniel and discuss course. You know which direction we should take. Eärniel you can chart the course we take. Tano, keep a sharp eye for any thing you see in the surrounding seas. Nothing's going to take us by surprise this time. As soon as I am done with the maps I'll be back on deck.
XK - Er...Cap'n? I can go up on deck...
EG - You stay here.
XK - No! I'm not sick or anything. *stands up*
EG - XK...stop being difficult.
XK - I'm not. I'm going up on deck. I'll be at the helm. *walks off*
EG - B...bah! Damn it. Tano, the mate is in charge on deck, but I want you to help, make sure all runs smoothly there, yes? She's not healed properly yet.
Tano - Aye cap'n!

[Indril Anarion]

Sitting on a crate on the deck, Luthien was humming an old drinking song and she mended a tattered shirt. She had finished all her duties in the gulley and was getting quite tired.

Luthien: *sighs* Not much to do....*hums old drinking song* *sees the Mate storm onto the deck* Oh, well, glad to see you're okay. *sees Tano go after her with a worried look on her face* What's wrong?

[Willow Oran]

*having overheard the previous exchange about monsters between Tano and Earniel*

Willow: *falls in step beside Tano* You know, even if the map is labled that way out of tradition, there are monsters here.

Tano: Monsters as in, sea monsters?

Willow: Monsters as in members of the crew, I believe vampires are considered monsters in places, as are faeries and elves and pirates too for that matter.

Tano: Your point?

Willow: My point is... er... actually, I didn't have a point, I was just saying.

Tano: Oh.

Willow: *cheerfully* But if you want to be really precise 'Here be Monsters' isn't the traditional off the chart label, technically the traditional one is 'Here be Dragons'.

Tano: You know... That really doesn't make me feel better.

Willow: Of course, the chances of us actually running into a sea dragon are about a million to one, so we probably don't have anything to worry about-

OOC: And that would be the cue for said sea dragon to run into the ship should one of the officers wish for that plot device.

[Indril Anarion]

Luthien: *hears commotion about monsters* What's this about monsters? *looks in direction that Willow is looking towards* *gasps*

[Tanoliel]

*Out of the water rises a dripping dragon head on a long, twisting, spiney neck. It is draped in seaweed and has long, spiraling horns and large, clear eyes. It swings about for a moment and then begins to glide in the water toward the boat*

Willow: --On the other hand, this is something to worry about very much.

Tano: Grap the Ultimate Weapon, Willow--just in case.

EG: What is going on--*spots dragon, who is being very still* Oh. I see. Um.

Tano: *sidles up toward the Cap'n* Cap'n? Cap'n, I think I might know this dragon...

EG: *raises eyebrow* Know? Exactly how?

Tano: Er...well, not know per se...well, a while ago I was on a boat and we helped a sea dragon out of a...problem. If this dragon knows that dragon, we might have an edge...

EG: I see. Well...do what you can. Xenoia? Let's ready the crew, just in case.

Tano *walks to the rail* Dragon? Mr. Dragon?

*the dragon's head swings around to stare at her*

Tano: I am under the protection of Leslie Diane.

Luthien: Leslie what?

Willow: I haven't a clue. The other dragon?

Dragon: Leslie? Leslie Diane? Interesting...

Tano: We would like to know what you would with us.

Dragon: You needn't sound so Shakespearian. I am curious about your boat. I smell....strange things aboard it.

Willow: No kidding...

Tano: Then you aren't going to harm us?

Dragon: *smiles wide, revealing large, pointy teeth* If you are friends of Leslie's, I will not harm you. Unless you harm me first.

*There is a flurry of movement on the deck as everyone hastily conceals their weapons*

Tano: Mr. Dragon--our Captain, Eruviel Greenleaf.

Dragon: *bows politely* I am pleased to make your aquaintence, Captain Greenleaf.

EG: And I am pleased to meet you, Mr...?

Dragon: Mr. Dragon will do for now.

ooc: I honestly don't know where all that came from, really I don't....EG, ExK, whatever, take it and run. I can let you know about the backstory with Leslie if you need but really all that matters is that once, Tano helped her, and this dragon will therefore be nice to Tano's friends, ie the crew of the Nal.
Sorry if I disrupted anything there...I was having fun.

T

[Elfmaster XK]

OOC: Not at all, Tano. Surprises we likes...

IC

XK - Erm. *blinks* Right. I was so sure this was a hallucination.
Eärniel - If it is then we're all having it.
XK - Ah huh. Mr. Dragon. Excuse me...
Dragon - Yes? Ever so polite, you creatures.
XK - Well, the captain and I were wondering if there was anything we could do for you. I mean, we're on our way somewhere see...
EG - Aye, perhaps we can help you.
Dragon - Oh no. Well, there was a really pretty green rock I saw on the island that I wanted. But the wolf men guard it and their other treasures with their lives.
EG - Then maybe we could help you, if you help us?
Dragon - Oh?
XK - There's this ship following us.
Dragon - No there isn't. I saw it the other day, possibly today I am uncertain now. Anyways. They should be looking for a new mate, and to fix their blasted vessel.
Eärniel - Ahh...makes sense.
Tano - So how is Leslie by the way?
Dragon - Not so bad. Ate three sailors the other week though and was quite, quite sick. Yellow fever they must've had.
Tano - Oh dear...

And thus Tano and the Dragon conversed for much time, in which the crew sat down, dropped anchor and were offered dinner by Katt and Luthien. And still Tano and the Dragon talked...


---
OOC: I don't know what you want to do with the Dragon Tano. And also I couldn't think of anything Leslie might want. So pretty green rock it was.

[The last sane person]

Roya: A new mate, aye? I hope he got rid of that blasted little snitch Sticks....

*Roya was slightly startled at the popping up of the sea dragon but soon didnt even bother with it and sat down to eat lunch. Pondering on the fate of the Emerald Star adn her captian*

Roya: Oh bugger it!

[Tanoliel]

ooc: I have been talking to our captain and she's very busy with college at the moment, and also doesn't have easy access to the internet. So if she doesn't show up often, that's why. We might have to slow this RPG down for a bit or sommat...just to let you all know.

T