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05-13-2004, 12:33 PM
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#1 |
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mystical divinity of Unashamed Felinity
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: New York's beautiful North Coast -- we're all mad here!!!
Posts: 635
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It's cute, Elvengirl!! I like it!!
Here's one I found. (Janny should love this one!!!  )Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave, because otherwise they were all going to fall. They weren't able to name that person, until the woman gave a very touching speech. She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because, as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids, or for men in general, and was used to always making sacrifices with little in return. As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping their hands.......
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 "Never try to out-stubborn a cat!" -- R. Heinlein ~~~~~~~~~ "But I don't want to be among mad people, " Alice remarked. "Oh, but you can't help that," said the Cat; "We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad." "How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here." ~~ Lewis Carroll ~~~~~~~~~~~ Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana... |
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05-14-2004, 11:17 AM
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#2 |
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The Blobbit
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Kent, England (Not Oxford! ... yet...)
Posts: 1,596
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I destest my enjoyment of such a narrow minded, men-oppressing joke. Couldn't have been a brunette and ten blondes?
 Yeah, v cute Elevengirl
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Janny's Songs Janny's lyrics and random photographs Tradition means giving votes to the most obscure of all classes, our ancestors. It is the democracy of the dead. Tradition refuses to submit to the small and arrogant oligarchy of those who happen to be walking about. ~ Mercutio... erm, GK Chesterton. |
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05-14-2004, 11:39 AM
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#3 |
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mystical divinity of Unashamed Felinity
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: New York's beautiful North Coast -- we're all mad here!!!
Posts: 635
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I knew you'd like it, Janny!!! I posted it with you in mind!!
And here's one more to your taste, I think: A blonde wanted to go ice fishing, so after getting all of the right tools, she headed toward the nearest frozen spot. After getting comfy on her stool, she started to cut a circular hole in the ice. Then from the heavens a voice boomed, ''THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.'' Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of hot chocolate and started to cut yet another hole in the ice. The voice boomed, ''THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.'' This time quite scared, the blonde moved to the far end of the ice. Then she started another hole and once again the voice said, ''THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.'' The very scared blonde raised her head and said, ''Is that you, Lord?'' The voice answered, ''NO! IT IS THE MANAGER OF THE ICE RINK! "
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"Never try to out-stubborn a cat!" -- R. Heinlein ~~~~~~~~~ "But I don't want to be among mad people, " Alice remarked. "Oh, but you can't help that," said the Cat; "We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad." "How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here." ~~ Lewis Carroll ~~~~~~~~~~~ Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana... Last edited by Beruthiel's cat : 05-14-2004 at 11:48 AM. |
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05-17-2004, 08:56 AM
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#4 |
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The Blobbit
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Kent, England (Not Oxford! ... yet...)
Posts: 1,596
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BWAHAHAHAAAA!
I mean, yes, how amusing.  I cna't think of any jokes, hence the slowness of reply... in effect I'm saying, 'keep it up' and *bump*
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Janny's Songs Janny's lyrics and random photographs Tradition means giving votes to the most obscure of all classes, our ancestors. It is the democracy of the dead. Tradition refuses to submit to the small and arrogant oligarchy of those who happen to be walking about. ~ Mercutio... erm, GK Chesterton. |
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05-17-2004, 01:11 PM
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#5 |
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Elf Lord
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Mirkwood, well actually I live in North-west Scania, Sweden
Posts: 9,481
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Three men were driving to London in
a noisy old car, and hearing was difficult. As they neared the city one of them asked: "Is this Wembley?" "No, its Thursday." said the second "Me, too." said the third."Let's stop and have a drink." |
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05-19-2004, 04:10 PM
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#6 |
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mystical divinity of Unashamed Felinity
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: New York's beautiful North Coast -- we're all mad here!!!
Posts: 635
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Here's a funny list for all you dog-lovers out there:
Your Dog’s Top 10 Pet Peeves 10. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. (Now you know why we chew your stuff up while you’re not at home.) 9. Taking me to the vet for “that operation,” then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back. 8. Dog sweaters. Hello...have you noticed the fur??? 7. How you naively believe the stupid cat isn’t all over everything while you’re gone. Have you noticed your toothbrush tastes a little like cat spit??? 6. Taking me for a walk and not letting me check stuff out. Whose walk is this, anyway?? 5. Yelling at me for rubbing my butt on the carpet. Why did you buy carpet?? 4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose...stop it! 3. Yelling at me for barking. News flash: I AM A DOG!!! 2. Getting upset when I jump all over your guests. Sorry, but I haven’t quite mastered that firm handshake thing yet... and you dog’s #1 pet peeve: 1. The slight of hand, fake-fetch-throw. You fooled a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain!
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"Never try to out-stubborn a cat!" -- R. Heinlein ~~~~~~~~~ "But I don't want to be among mad people, " Alice remarked. "Oh, but you can't help that," said the Cat; "We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad." "How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here." ~~ Lewis Carroll ~~~~~~~~~~~ Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana... |
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06-09-2004, 11:16 AM
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#7 |
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Queen of Nargothrond
Administrator 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Akron, Ohio - USA
Posts: 7,121
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Here's a cute one:
A SMART LITTLE GIRL... Every woman's dream...A teacher asked her class, "What do you want out of life"? A little girl in the back raised her hand and said, "All I want out of life is four animals." The teacher asked "Really? And what four animals would that be"? The little girl replied, "A mink on my back, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in bed and a jackass to pay for all of it." The teacher fainted.
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"Whither go you?" she said. "North away." he said: "to the swords, and the siege, and the walls of defence - that yet for a while in Beleriand rivers may run clean, leaves spring, and birds build their nests, ere Night comes." AboutNewJersey.com - New Jersey Travel and Tourism Guide |
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06-09-2004, 02:14 PM
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#8 |
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mystical divinity of Unashamed Felinity
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: New York's beautiful North Coast -- we're all mad here!!!
Posts: 635
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Battle of the sexes...
WIFE VS. HUSBAND A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked with sarcasm,"Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
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"Never try to out-stubborn a cat!" -- R. Heinlein ~~~~~~~~~ "But I don't want to be among mad people, " Alice remarked. "Oh, but you can't help that," said the Cat; "We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad." "How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here." ~~ Lewis Carroll ~~~~~~~~~~~ Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana... |
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06-09-2004, 04:37 PM
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#9 | |
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Narnia
Posts: 1,656
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Your recent dog/cat posts (Beruthiel's cat) reminded me of this.
Who Moved My Poop? is Quote:
The comic was done by the author of "Rhymes with Orange," if you're familiar with that comic strip.
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Mike nodded. A sombre nod. The nod Napoleon might have given if somebody had met him in 1812 and said, "So, you're back from Moscow, eh?". Interested in C.S. Lewis? Visit the forum dedicated to one of Tolkien's greatest contemporaries. |
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06-10-2004, 09:55 AM
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#10 | ||
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mystical divinity of Unashamed Felinity
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: New York's beautiful North Coast -- we're all mad here!!!
Posts: 635
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Quote:
Quote:
I'm going to send the link to a friend of mine who teaches at an online college. It should fit into his curriculum very well. He also has a German Shepherd.
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"Never try to out-stubborn a cat!" -- R. Heinlein ~~~~~~~~~ "But I don't want to be among mad people, " Alice remarked. "Oh, but you can't help that," said the Cat; "We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad." "How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here." ~~ Lewis Carroll ~~~~~~~~~~~ Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana... |
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06-12-2004, 07:34 PM
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#11 |
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Death of Mooters and [Entmoot] Internal Affairs
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Oslo, Norway
Posts: 2,870
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Not really a joke but I almost choked laughing (it's a quote from someone on mIRC):
ubudes: So yesterday me and my friend are taking the subway ubudes: And there are like 30 huge black guys in the train ubudes: And we're like these puny white people ubudes: So we're taking the train and are all quiet ubudes: And my stop is before my friends ubudes: So I get off on my stop and while the door is closing I turn around to my friend still inside the train ubudes: And I go "I'll see you at the rally on Thursday brother. White power!" ubudes: I haven't seen him since
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Fëanor - Innocence incarnated Still, Aikanáro 'till the Last battle. |
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06-13-2004, 09:02 AM
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#12 | |
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Fair Dinkum
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 2,319
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Quote:
I just hope it isn't true, the poor bloke left on the train.  |
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06-13-2004, 09:32 AM
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#13 |
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Mirthful Maiden
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Rivendell
Posts: 1,252
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lol That was funny Falagar
Here's a funny one I thought very fitting for a certain number of us Mooters "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've started." So I looked around the house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished....and before leaving the house this morning I finished off a bottle of red wine, a bottle of white wine, the Bailey's, Kahlua and Wild Turkey, the Irish coffee from last night, a super size bag of potato chips, some cheesecake and a box of chocolates. You have no idea how freakin good I feel...."
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The Elves represent, as it were, the artistic, aesthetic, and purely scientific aspects of the Humane nature raised to a higher level than is actually seen in Men.~ J.R.R. Tolkien Wanna play? www.thievesguild.com |
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06-14-2004, 12:30 PM
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#14 |
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Cardboard Harp of Gondor 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: IM IN UR POSTZ, EDITIN' UR WURDZ
Posts: 6,433
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You don't like men, do you Beruthial?
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06-15-2004, 10:45 AM
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#15 | |
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mystical divinity of Unashamed Felinity
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: New York's beautiful North Coast -- we're all mad here!!!
Posts: 635
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Quote:
It's just so much fun to tease them!!! Edit: I also grew up with two younger brothers...payback is sweet!!!
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"Never try to out-stubborn a cat!" -- R. Heinlein ~~~~~~~~~ "But I don't want to be among mad people, " Alice remarked. "Oh, but you can't help that," said the Cat; "We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad." "How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here." ~~ Lewis Carroll ~~~~~~~~~~~ Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana... Last edited by Beruthiel's cat : 06-15-2004 at 10:51 AM. |
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06-15-2004, 10:48 AM
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#16 |
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High King at Annuminas Administrator
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Wyoming - USA
Posts: 10,752
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Shortcomings? What do you mean by "shortcomings"???
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My Fanfic: Letters of Firiel Tales of Nolduryon Visitors Come to Court Ñ á ë ?* ó ú é ä ï ö Ö ñ É Þ ð ß ® ™ [Xurl=Xhttp://entmoot.tolkientrail.com/showthread.php?s=&postid=ABCXYZ#postABCXYZ]text[/Xurl] Splitting Threads is SUCH Hard Work!! |
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06-15-2004, 11:00 AM
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#17 | |
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mystical divinity of Unashamed Felinity
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: New York's beautiful North Coast -- we're all mad here!!!
Posts: 635
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Quote:
Why is it that we have to pull into every car lot on Route 15 and check out the new options on the Audis/Chryslers/Suzukis/Chevys/Fords/Hondas???? Why is it that when I go in to Best Buy to pick up a CD for someone's birthday gift, I can't find him for an hour, then locate him in the HDTV section, wearing a silly smile and drooling while watching a Vin Diesel movie??? And why is it that he whines when I won't stop the car when we pass a hardware store???
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"Never try to out-stubborn a cat!" -- R. Heinlein ~~~~~~~~~ "But I don't want to be among mad people, " Alice remarked. "Oh, but you can't help that," said the Cat; "We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad." "How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here." ~~ Lewis Carroll ~~~~~~~~~~~ Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana... |
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06-15-2004, 11:06 AM
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#18 | |
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High King at Annuminas Administrator
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Wyoming - USA
Posts: 10,752
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Quote:
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My Fanfic: Letters of Firiel Tales of Nolduryon Visitors Come to Court Ñ á ë ?* ó ú é ä ï ö Ö ñ É Þ ð ß ® ™ [Xurl=Xhttp://entmoot.tolkientrail.com/showthread.php?s=&postid=ABCXYZ#postABCXYZ]text[/Xurl] Splitting Threads is SUCH Hard Work!! |
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06-15-2004, 12:30 PM
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#19 | |
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The Blobbit
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Kent, England (Not Oxford! ... yet...)
Posts: 1,596
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Quote:
__________________
Janny's Songs Janny's lyrics and random photographs Tradition means giving votes to the most obscure of all classes, our ancestors. It is the democracy of the dead. Tradition refuses to submit to the small and arrogant oligarchy of those who happen to be walking about. ~ Mercutio... erm, GK Chesterton. |
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06-15-2004, 12:53 PM
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#20 | |
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mystical divinity of Unashamed Felinity
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: New York's beautiful North Coast -- we're all mad here!!!
Posts: 635
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Quote:
__________________
"Never try to out-stubborn a cat!" -- R. Heinlein ~~~~~~~~~ "But I don't want to be among mad people, " Alice remarked. "Oh, but you can't help that," said the Cat; "We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad." "How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here." ~~ Lewis Carroll ~~~~~~~~~~~ Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana... |
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