05-14-2004, 11:17 AM | #461 |
The Blobbit
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Kent, England (Not Oxford! ... yet...)
Posts: 1,596
|
I destest my enjoyment of such a narrow minded, men-oppressing joke. Couldn't have been a brunette and ten blondes?
Yeah, v cute Elevengirl
__________________
Janny's Songs Janny's lyrics and random photographs Tradition means giving votes to the most obscure of all classes, our ancestors. It is the democracy of the dead. Tradition refuses to submit to the small and arrogant oligarchy of those who happen to be walking about. ~ Mercutio... erm, GK Chesterton. |
05-14-2004, 11:39 AM | #462 |
mystical divinity of Unashamed Felinity
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: New York's beautiful North Coast -- we're all mad here!!!
Posts: 635
|
I knew you'd like it, Janny!!! I posted it with you in mind!!
And here's one more to your taste, I think: A blonde wanted to go ice fishing, so after getting all of the right tools, she headed toward the nearest frozen spot. After getting comfy on her stool, she started to cut a circular hole in the ice. Then from the heavens a voice boomed, ''THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.'' Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of hot chocolate and started to cut yet another hole in the ice. The voice boomed, ''THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.'' This time quite scared, the blonde moved to the far end of the ice. Then she started another hole and once again the voice said, ''THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.'' The very scared blonde raised her head and said, ''Is that you, Lord?'' The voice answered, ''NO! IT IS THE MANAGER OF THE ICE RINK! "
__________________
"Never try to out-stubborn a cat!" -- R. Heinlein ~~~~~~~~~ "But I don't want to be among mad people, " Alice remarked. "Oh, but you can't help that," said the Cat; "We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad." "How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here." ~~ Lewis Carroll ~~~~~~~~~~~ Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana... Last edited by Beruthiel's cat : 05-14-2004 at 11:48 AM. |
05-17-2004, 08:56 AM | #463 |
The Blobbit
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Kent, England (Not Oxford! ... yet...)
Posts: 1,596
|
BWAHAHAHAAAA! I mean, yes, how amusing.
I cna't think of any jokes, hence the slowness of reply... in effect I'm saying, 'keep it up' and *bump*
__________________
Janny's Songs Janny's lyrics and random photographs Tradition means giving votes to the most obscure of all classes, our ancestors. It is the democracy of the dead. Tradition refuses to submit to the small and arrogant oligarchy of those who happen to be walking about. ~ Mercutio... erm, GK Chesterton. |
05-17-2004, 01:11 PM | #464 |
Elf Lord
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Mirkwood, well actually I live in North-west Scania, Sweden
Posts: 9,481
|
Three men were driving to London in
a noisy old car, and hearing was difficult. As they neared the city one of them asked: "Is this Wembley?" "No, its Thursday." said the second "Me, too." said the third."Let's stop and have a drink." |
05-19-2004, 04:10 PM | #465 |
mystical divinity of Unashamed Felinity
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: New York's beautiful North Coast -- we're all mad here!!!
Posts: 635
|
Here's a funny list for all you dog-lovers out there:
Your Dog’s Top 10 Pet Peeves 10. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. (Now you know why we chew your stuff up while you’re not at home.) 9. Taking me to the vet for “that operation,” then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back. 8. Dog sweaters. Hello...have you noticed the fur??? 7. How you naively believe the stupid cat isn’t all over everything while you’re gone. Have you noticed your toothbrush tastes a little like cat spit??? 6. Taking me for a walk and not letting me check stuff out. Whose walk is this, anyway?? 5. Yelling at me for rubbing my butt on the carpet. Why did you buy carpet?? 4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose...stop it! 3. Yelling at me for barking. News flash: I AM A DOG!!! 2. Getting upset when I jump all over your guests. Sorry, but I haven’t quite mastered that firm handshake thing yet... and you dog’s #1 pet peeve: 1. The slight of hand, fake-fetch-throw. You fooled a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain!
__________________
"Never try to out-stubborn a cat!" -- R. Heinlein ~~~~~~~~~ "But I don't want to be among mad people, " Alice remarked. "Oh, but you can't help that," said the Cat; "We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad." "How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here." ~~ Lewis Carroll ~~~~~~~~~~~ Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana... |
06-09-2004, 11:16 AM | #466 |
Queen of Nargothrond
Administrator Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Akron, Ohio - USA
Posts: 7,121
|
Here's a cute one:
A SMART LITTLE GIRL... Every woman's dream...A teacher asked her class, "What do you want out of life"? A little girl in the back raised her hand and said, "All I want out of life is four animals." The teacher asked "Really? And what four animals would that be"? The little girl replied, "A mink on my back, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in bed and a jackass to pay for all of it." The teacher fainted.
__________________
"Whither go you?" she said. "North away." he said: "to the swords, and the siege, and the walls of defence - that yet for a while in Beleriand rivers may run clean, leaves spring, and birds build their nests, ere Night comes." AboutNewJersey.com - New Jersey Travel and Tourism Guide |
06-09-2004, 02:14 PM | #467 |
mystical divinity of Unashamed Felinity
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: New York's beautiful North Coast -- we're all mad here!!!
Posts: 635
|
Battle of the sexes...
WIFE VS. HUSBAND A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked with sarcasm,"Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
__________________
"Never try to out-stubborn a cat!" -- R. Heinlein ~~~~~~~~~ "But I don't want to be among mad people, " Alice remarked. "Oh, but you can't help that," said the Cat; "We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad." "How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here." ~~ Lewis Carroll ~~~~~~~~~~~ Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana... |
06-09-2004, 04:37 PM | #468 | |
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Narnia
Posts: 1,656
|
Your recent dog/cat posts (Beruthiel's cat) reminded me of this.
Who Moved My Poop? is Quote:
The comic was done by the author of "Rhymes with Orange," if you're familiar with that comic strip.
__________________
Mike nodded. A sombre nod. The nod Napoleon might have given if somebody had met him in 1812 and said, "So, you're back from Moscow, eh?". Interested in C.S. Lewis? Visit the forum dedicated to one of Tolkien's greatest contemporaries. |
|
06-10-2004, 09:55 AM | #469 | ||
mystical divinity of Unashamed Felinity
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: New York's beautiful North Coast -- we're all mad here!!!
Posts: 635
|
Quote:
Quote:
I'm going to send the link to a friend of mine who teaches at an online college. It should fit into his curriculum very well. He also has a German Shepherd.
__________________
"Never try to out-stubborn a cat!" -- R. Heinlein ~~~~~~~~~ "But I don't want to be among mad people, " Alice remarked. "Oh, but you can't help that," said the Cat; "We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad." "How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here." ~~ Lewis Carroll ~~~~~~~~~~~ Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana... |
||
06-12-2004, 07:34 PM | #470 |
Death of Mooters and [Entmoot] Internal Affairs
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Oslo, Norway
Posts: 2,870
|
Not really a joke but I almost choked laughing (it's a quote from someone on mIRC):
ubudes: So yesterday me and my friend are taking the subway ubudes: And there are like 30 huge black guys in the train ubudes: And we're like these puny white people ubudes: So we're taking the train and are all quiet ubudes: And my stop is before my friends ubudes: So I get off on my stop and while the door is closing I turn around to my friend still inside the train ubudes: And I go "I'll see you at the rally on Thursday brother. White power!" ubudes: I haven't seen him since
__________________
Fëanor - Innocence incarnated Still, Aikanáro 'till the Last battle. |
06-13-2004, 09:02 AM | #471 | |
Fair Dinkum
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 2,319
|
Quote:
|
|
06-13-2004, 09:32 AM | #472 |
Mirthful Maiden
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Rivendell
Posts: 1,252
|
lol That was funny Falagar
Here's a funny one I thought very fitting for a certain number of us Mooters "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've started." So I looked around the house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished....and before leaving the house this morning I finished off a bottle of red wine, a bottle of white wine, the Bailey's, Kahlua and Wild Turkey, the Irish coffee from last night, a super size bag of potato chips, some cheesecake and a box of chocolates. You have no idea how freakin good I feel...."
__________________
The Elves represent, as it were, the artistic, aesthetic, and purely scientific aspects of the Humane nature raised to a higher level than is actually seen in Men.~ J.R.R. Tolkien Wanna play? www.thievesguild.com |
06-14-2004, 12:30 PM | #473 |
Cardboard Harp of Gondor Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: IM IN UR POSTZ, EDITIN' UR WURDZ
Posts: 6,433
|
You don't like men, do you Beruthial?
|
06-15-2004, 10:45 AM | #474 | |
mystical divinity of Unashamed Felinity
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: New York's beautiful North Coast -- we're all mad here!!!
Posts: 635
|
Quote:
It's just so much fun to tease them!!! Edit: I also grew up with two younger brothers...payback is sweet!!!
__________________
"Never try to out-stubborn a cat!" -- R. Heinlein ~~~~~~~~~ "But I don't want to be among mad people, " Alice remarked. "Oh, but you can't help that," said the Cat; "We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad." "How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here." ~~ Lewis Carroll ~~~~~~~~~~~ Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana... Last edited by Beruthiel's cat : 06-15-2004 at 10:51 AM. |
|
06-15-2004, 10:48 AM | #475 |
High King at Annuminas Administrator
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Wyoming - USA
Posts: 10,752
|
Shortcomings? What do you mean by "shortcomings"???
__________________
My Fanfic: Letters of Firiel Tales of Nolduryon Visitors Come to Court Ñ á ë ?* ó ú é ä ï ö Ö ñ É Þ ð ß ® ™ [Xurl=Xhttp://entmoot.tolkientrail.com/showthread.php?s=&postid=ABCXYZ#postABCXYZ]text[/Xurl] Splitting Threads is SUCH Hard Work!! |
06-15-2004, 11:00 AM | #476 | |
mystical divinity of Unashamed Felinity
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: New York's beautiful North Coast -- we're all mad here!!!
Posts: 635
|
Quote:
Why is it that we have to pull into every car lot on Route 15 and check out the new options on the Audis/Chryslers/Suzukis/Chevys/Fords/Hondas???? Why is it that when I go in to Best Buy to pick up a CD for someone's birthday gift, I can't find him for an hour, then locate him in the HDTV section, wearing a silly smile and drooling while watching a Vin Diesel movie??? And why is it that he whines when I won't stop the car when we pass a hardware store???
__________________
"Never try to out-stubborn a cat!" -- R. Heinlein ~~~~~~~~~ "But I don't want to be among mad people, " Alice remarked. "Oh, but you can't help that," said the Cat; "We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad." "How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here." ~~ Lewis Carroll ~~~~~~~~~~~ Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana... |
|
06-15-2004, 11:06 AM | #477 | |
High King at Annuminas Administrator
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Wyoming - USA
Posts: 10,752
|
Quote:
__________________
My Fanfic: Letters of Firiel Tales of Nolduryon Visitors Come to Court Ñ á ë ?* ó ú é ä ï ö Ö ñ É Þ ð ß ® ™ [Xurl=Xhttp://entmoot.tolkientrail.com/showthread.php?s=&postid=ABCXYZ#postABCXYZ]text[/Xurl] Splitting Threads is SUCH Hard Work!! |
|
06-15-2004, 12:30 PM | #478 | |
The Blobbit
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Kent, England (Not Oxford! ... yet...)
Posts: 1,596
|
Quote:
__________________
Janny's Songs Janny's lyrics and random photographs Tradition means giving votes to the most obscure of all classes, our ancestors. It is the democracy of the dead. Tradition refuses to submit to the small and arrogant oligarchy of those who happen to be walking about. ~ Mercutio... erm, GK Chesterton. |
|
06-15-2004, 12:53 PM | #479 | |
mystical divinity of Unashamed Felinity
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: New York's beautiful North Coast -- we're all mad here!!!
Posts: 635
|
Quote:
__________________
"Never try to out-stubborn a cat!" -- R. Heinlein ~~~~~~~~~ "But I don't want to be among mad people, " Alice remarked. "Oh, but you can't help that," said the Cat; "We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad." "How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here." ~~ Lewis Carroll ~~~~~~~~~~~ Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana... |
|
06-15-2004, 12:57 PM | #480 |
mystical divinity of Unashamed Felinity
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: New York's beautiful North Coast -- we're all mad here!!!
Posts: 635
|
Dam construction permits!!!
This is a long one, but worth it... I currently work with building inspectors and they loved it...
************************************************* And you think we have problems with government getting things done!!!!! This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the Michigan Department of Environmental Quality, State of Michigan. Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County. Dear Mr. DeVries: It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity: Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond. A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been issued. Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324..30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated. The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream channel. All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 2003. Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action. We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter. Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions. Sincerely, David L. Price District Representative Land and Water Management Division ** This is the actual response sent back: ** Dear Mr. Price, Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County. Your certified letter dated 12/17/02 has been handed to me to respond to. I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget, Pierson, Michigan. A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of natures building materials "debris." I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic. As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity. My first dam question to you is: (1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers or (2) do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam request? If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through the Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued. Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated. I have several concerns. My first concern is -- aren't the beavers entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for said representation -- so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event causing flooding is proof that this is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and calling their dam names. If you want the stream restored" to a dam free-flow condition please contact the beavers -- but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter -- they being unable to read English.. In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental l Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams). So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred or more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until 1/31/2003? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then and there will be no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them then. In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real environmental quality (health) problem in the area. It is the bears! Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone. If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! (The bears are not careful where they dump!) Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam office. THANK YOU RYAN DEVRIES + THE DAM BEAVERS
__________________
"Never try to out-stubborn a cat!" -- R. Heinlein ~~~~~~~~~ "But I don't want to be among mad people, " Alice remarked. "Oh, but you can't help that," said the Cat; "We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad." "How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here." ~~ Lewis Carroll ~~~~~~~~~~~ Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana... |
|
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
Discussion Thread: Nomads from the East | Nurvingiel | RPG Forum | 83 | 02-21-2005 07:23 PM |