09-29-2010, 10:37 PM | #401 | |
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Nerdanel, the poem is quite good, especially the 3rd stanza. I like how it ends. It leaves you thinking.
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Elleth Valatari "We have come from God, and inevitably the myths woven by us, though they contain error, will also reflect a splintered fragment of the true light, the eternal truth that is with God. Our myths may be misguided, but they steer however shakily towards the true harbour, while materialistic 'progress' leads only to a yawning abyss and the Iron Crown of the power of evil." — J.R.R. Tolkien Last edited by EllethValatari : 01-13-2011 at 12:41 AM. |
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09-30-2010, 01:46 AM | #402 |
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if you end up writing something, share it here!
thanks for your comment.. glad you like it! the third stanza is sort of my favourite, too..
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10-13-2010, 04:59 AM | #403 |
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frost
white crystals sprouted and sprinkled over green grass and shallow waters forming thin sheets of miniature suns, ever growing, ever fusing, ever blinding forcing what has not yet changed into a diamondy dress, to be kept safe, and into a long, deep, undisturbed sleep and a false sense of time, itself, stopping and the frost alone will keep on going, growing, building layers upon layers of thin sheets of self-repairing glass until the world is nothing but pure, white beauty but there is always an end to this aggression always, just like it returns, always the end will come with a bow to the sun and begin again when we look away, voiceless all this slow death, and all this rapid life due to the tilt of an axis. (13.10.10; i think it should be read out loud to be fully appreciated. the extra space between stanzas 3 and 4 is there as a longer breathing break, where i also like to change the pace of the poem. but read it however you want, of course!)
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"Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known. " - C. Sagan My (photography) website My Flickr page Last edited by Nerdanel : 10-14-2010 at 05:36 AM. Reason: it's spelled 'crystal', not 'chrystal'. duh. |
10-13-2010, 01:38 PM | #404 |
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Oh, I firmly believe that all poems should be read aloud.
Are you writing with any particular scheme? The reference to aggression, in the third stanza, was very striking, after the more aesthetic approach and the sense of protection in the first two stanzas. I also really liked the last line! So crazy.
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10-14-2010, 10:24 AM | #405 | |
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sorry, don't think i really got your question about the scheme.. it is pretty crazy, isn't it.. but good, as well! i wouldn't want to live in a world without seasons. is the change being striking a good or a bad thing, do you think (i know there's more than good and bad.. :P)? is it too much?
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"Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known. " - C. Sagan My (photography) website My Flickr page Last edited by Nerdanel : 10-14-2010 at 10:25 AM. |
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10-22-2010, 03:43 PM | #406 |
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Lovely poem. It reminded me of today's Stockholm where the first snow fell this morning.
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10-22-2010, 11:03 PM | #407 |
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I've been experimenting with free verse once again. Perhaps i'll get up the courage to post something soon.
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" ...But the Exiles on the shores of the sea, if they turned towards the West in the desire of their hearts, spoke of Mar-nu-Falmar that was whelmed in the waves, Akallabêth the Downfallen, Atalantë in the Eldarin tongue." "Ye who believe in affection that hopes, and endures, and is patient, Ye who believe in the beauty and strength of woman's devotion, List to the mournful tradition still sung by the pines of the forest ... " ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Evangeline |
10-23-2010, 09:49 AM | #408 |
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Personally I think all poems should be rapped to a funky beat, but I guess reading them aloud is okay too.
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10-27-2010, 04:41 PM | #409 | |
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Quote:
and tessar, that's a pretty great idea. XD i should try it with my poems.. :P
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10-27-2010, 04:52 PM | #410 |
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11-16-2010, 12:33 AM | #411 |
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This is not mine, it is by the Portuguese poet Alexandre O'Neill; I just love it so much, I was overcome by the urge to translate. Of course, it's much better in the Portuguese, particular when sung, but there you are.
There are words that seem to kiss us on the lips. Words of love, of hope, Of immense love, of insane hope. Naked words that you kiss While the night loses its face; Words that deny themselves At the walls of your distaste. Sudden and vivid Among colorless words, as hoped, unhoped for, as poetry and love. (The name of whom you love revealed, letter by letter, on heedless marble, on a discarded sheet of paper) Words that carry us To the power of the night, To the silence of lovers Clinging against death.
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12-02-2010, 02:50 AM | #412 |
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Oh! I love this poem. It's lovely.
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01-12-2011, 11:28 PM | #413 |
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Ugh I come here to post one or two of the endless amount of poems I've written over the past month or so and I read Nerdy's and I'm like "damn, I can't compete!" Oh well!
december 14 (first poem for a LONG time, also i don't smoke anymore) ghostly reflection in the window a cigarette burning i put my hood up stare coldly into the empty winter cold clean snowy world no one there to see it ignoring precarious ash you were wrong i wanted you to say that you'd still love me even this me, smoking and looking out the window, alone, small wondering if i'm pretty enough lofty enough me, a face superimposed over a winter night scene ---------------------------------------------------- from today "a history" I was new and bright and alive with the light of your laughter and your talk, your warm hands, in a very far off place. And then like a wild cat struggling for freedom from the cage of her own making and the cage that was her love for you that would give her no rest until she was only exhausted, and ready to surrender to you. But that is far away now, thoughts of anything to surrender to, for what am I now but this: a broken and abandoned doll lying there, quite still.
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01-13-2011, 12:45 AM | #414 |
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These are beautiful, katya!
I'm currently searching for my long-lost poems. Will get back here once I find them.
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Elleth Valatari "We have come from God, and inevitably the myths woven by us, though they contain error, will also reflect a splintered fragment of the true light, the eternal truth that is with God. Our myths may be misguided, but they steer however shakily towards the true harbour, while materialistic 'progress' leads only to a yawning abyss and the Iron Crown of the power of evil." — J.R.R. Tolkien |
01-13-2011, 06:47 PM | #415 |
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Thanks. Looking forward to it. <3
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03-14-2011, 08:09 PM | #416 |
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abstinence symptoms
my tears water a soil lacking those essential nutrients required for full functionality, growth and prosperity biochemistry, like lack of sleep my brain lacks the ability of contentment, my skin the ability to reason yes, they were right when they said that we'd pay for acting strong, young and utterly untouchable like stars so hot and so massive, they'd disintegrate on contact on earth, with gravity pulling on eyelids and tears, i struggle to stay up on the hazy surface where all is ugly, but safe when i let go, stormy, oligotrophic waters grasp me, throwing me against hard, unforgiving rocks, then spitting me back up on a cold beach, beat, broken and suffering again from that same lack of sleep and your essential nutrients
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03-16-2011, 05:41 AM | #417 |
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a gentle caress
fingertips on my cheeks, spine - the sun, unlike you, here
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03-16-2011, 05:56 PM | #418 |
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Oooh, excellent haiku
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03-16-2011, 06:18 PM | #419 |
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03-16-2011, 07:59 PM | #420 |
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thanks a lot, guys! it just came to me this morning..
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