Lyrd Of The Ryngs - The Homies

[Butterbeer]

OOC (funky gibbon and the unseen librarian):
when it comes to keeping on track, i'm your man!

"Wow that must be Good Weed if you had that much Orc-munchies!" said Legless and Gimli in tandem (though both secretly thought they'd said it first)

"where's the Old TOBY Chillum or BONG man?" said Aragorn with a wink, getting his pipe out and looking keenly (while he still could) at the two young Hobbits: his keen FBI trained eyes noticied that their hair seemed more curly and he could swear they looked taller: there was no doubt a worthy tale to heard here, he thought settling down comfortably.

[Last Child of Ungoliant]

"well," said merry "we shall tell you the tale, like, of how us two dudes, got, um, like, what's the word" he looked at pippin for help "erm..." said pip "err, free, like, man" "yeh," said merry "so anyways..." screen waves and flicks into flashbacks, telling the story, at the end it flciked into a pathe clip of newsreel "oops!" said merry, "must have taped over last night's news! so, like anyways, that's how we came to be here" he took another drag on his joint, before tucking in to a marmite and peanut butter sandwich

[Grey_Wolf]

"Well." said Pippin, who decided that he was best suited to tell the tale."As you, remember, it all began on that peculiar day of the breaking of the Homies. We all appeared to have gone crazy. And with Frodo disappearing too did make things better. Anyway we were running flat out in the forest and collided with some ORCers, who just wanted to catch us and not fight, not even when Merry had cut off the arms of some of them. But when Boromir came running they had to fight because he made them. And when he shouted in his megaphone for help and no one came they intensified their attack on Boromir, but they found out that he was more than they bargained for, then they retreated and and began firing volleys of crossbow-bolts at Boromir, always at Boromir. The last thing I remember was seeing Boromir plucking a bolt from his side and then everything went dark."

[Grey_Wolf]

"When I woke up I found myself bound and gagged and Merry likewise by my side. We lay at the edge of a ORCer camp and there appeared to be a major row in the works. The gang consisted, apparently of, Two local sections of ORCers, and they were fighting about what their mission really was and which direction they were suppose to go." Pippin continued.

[Grey_Wolf]

"Anyway the Head honcho ORCer cut the fighting short by chopping off a couple of the quarrelling ORCer's heads to make the others see reason and get going. A few minutes later we trussed up and hung around two of largest ORCers necks, bouncing along at a terrific rate."

"After travelling for about half a 'day' we finally reached the plains of Rohan, where yet another argument broke out where, I now realized, the Mordorese ORCers, wanted to go directly to Mordor, and the Uruk-Hai ORCers, wanted to proceed to Isengard. Ugluk, the ORCer-in-Charge, relieved a couple more of the quarrelling ORCers of their obstinate heads, whereafter the others set off at an even faster pace."

[Butterbeer]

the three 'Hunters' listened spell-bound, passing round the spliff and lighting their pipes like there was no tommorow ...

sitting on the edge of the destruction of Isengard they marvelled at the Hobbit's tale as it unfolded and at how cheerfully they they spoke of their Grim predicament and recent ordeal.

Between amazement and wonder, they were all in high spirits and these were communally getting higher all the time

"Wow!" said Gimli vaguely distractedly looking at his hand as though he'd never seen it before

"Tell us more!" opined legless. "What happened next and how did you escape? We thought maybe you were drinking red-bull! ?"

...

[Grey_Wolf]

"Well." Pippin, continued."After a couple of hours they camped again and dumped us unceremoniously on the ground. Yet again an argument got going, as it frequently does with these people. Some head-chopping by Ugluk settled things. Then they got going and we were forced to run for a change. I took a chance at an opportune moment and ran out from the group and dropped my precious Golden Leaf MP3 player. They were on their toes after that and kept a close watch on us. Several hours later the rearguard shouted that they saw Rohirrim Bikers approaching from behind."

[Grey_Wolf]

Aragorn brough forth a small golden leaf-shaped MP3-player. He handed it to Pippin.

"Wow. I actually never though I'd see again." Pippin said again.

"Well." Aragorn said."One who cannot cast away a treasure at need is in fetters. You did rightly."

"Anyway." said Pippin."The Bikers soon caught up and hemmed in the ORCers killing off the unwary when they had a chance. The ORCers ran on as if the Devil himself was behind them. A few hours later dusk fell and we reached the Forest. The ORCers camped and the Rohirrim Bikers began patrolling the fringes of the camp."

[Butterbeer]

meanwhile somewhere secret (at least to some searchings eyes) but east of here somwhere across the great river ...

Sam sneezed
"Bless you" said Frodo

Meanwhile back at Isengard ...

[Grey_Wolf]

"As dawn came the Bikers powered up their Ghetto Blasters and this tune blasted out...

We're leaving together,
But still it's farewell
And maybe we'll come back,
To earth, who can tell?
I guess there is no one to blame
We're leaving ground
Will things ever be the same again?

It's the final countdown...

We're heading for Venus and still we stand tall
Cause maybe they've seen us and welcome us all
With so many light years to go and things to be found
I'm sure that we'll all miss her so.

We're leaving together,
But still it's farewell
And maybe we'll come back,
To earth, who can tell?
I guess there is no one to blame
We're leaving ground
Will things ever be the same again?

It's the final countdown...


at this the ORCers prepared for battle and somehow as the Bikers attacked the ORCers group shrunk and we were suddenly outside the ORCer perimeter. We were in the clear, when Grishnak showed up grabbing us and running towards the forest."

[Grey_Wolf]

Pippin shuddered at the remembrance of the pawing hands and the horrid breath and could not continue, so Merry pressed on:

"Anyway,we had short conversation with the creep when suddenly a Biker appeared out of nowhere and killed Grishnak, but somehow missed us, perhaps since we still were wearing our Lorien garb.

Then we lay there for a while and shuddered both of us. After a minute or two, we figured we better get off the plain so that the Bikers wouldn't kill us and then find out that we weren't ORCers. We used Grishnak's knife which lay closeby to cut our bonds. Had ourselves some MRE's which had survived the battering from our journey.

Then we got up and snuck into the forest, walked along the creek that flowed into it, washed up a bit, and continued to the Great Stair where to our surprise we met Treebeard. He took us at first to his house where we had some Gainomax Recovery mixed with Green Herbal tea."

"We thought you've grown wings, but now I understand the strange footprints we saw on the hilltop." said Gimli.

"Ent draughts! So that's it!" exclaimed Aragorn."I thought you've grown a bit and your feet had become furrier. That explains it."

"Well, what happened next." Legolas interrupted, impatiently.

"Let me see," said Merry:"five nights ago-now we come to a part of the story you know nothing about. We met Treebeard that morning after the battle; and that night we were at Wellinghall, one of his ent-houses. The next morning we went to Entmoot, a gathering of Ents, that is, and the queerest thing I have ever seen in my life. It lasted all that day and the next; and we spent the nights with an Ent called Quickbeam. And then late in the afternoon in the third day of their moot, the Ents suddenly blew up. It was amazing. The Forest had felt as tense as if a thunderstorm was brewing inside it: then all at once it exploded. I wish you could have heard their song as they marched."
"If Saruman had heard it, he would be a hundred miles away by now, even if he had had to run on his own legs," said Pippin.
"Though Isengard be strong and hard, as cold as stone and bare as bone,
We go, we go, we go to war, to hew the stone and break the door!
There was very much more. A great deal of the song had no words, and was like a music of horns and drums. It was very exciting. But I thought it was only marching music and no more, just a song - until I got here. I know better now."
"We came down over the last ridge into Nan CurunÃ*r, after night had fallen," Merry continued. "It was then that I first had the feeling that the Forest itself was moving behind us. I thought I was dreaming an entish dream, but Pippin had noticed it too. We were both frightened; but we did not find out more about it until later.
"It was the Huorns, or so the Ents call them in "short language". Treebeard won't say much about them, but I think they are Ents that have become almost like trees, at least to look at. They stand here and there in the wood or under its eaves, silent, watching endlessly over the trees; but deep in the darkest dales there are hundreds and hundreds of them, I believe.
"There is a great power in them, and they seem able to wrap themselves in shadow: it is difficult to see them moving. But they do. They can move very quickly, if they are angry. You stand still looking at the weather, maybe, or listening to the rustling of the wind, and then suddenly you find that you are in the middle of a wood with great groping trees all around you. They still have voices, and can speak with the Ents - that is why they are called Huorns, Treebeard says - but they have become queer and wild. Dangerous. I should be terrified of meeting them, if there were no true Ents about to look after them.
"Well, in the early night we crept down a long ravine into the upper end of the Wizard's Vale, the Ents with all their rustling Huorns behind. We could not see them, of course, but the whole air was full of creaking. It was very dark, a cloudy night. They moved at a great speed as soon as they had left the hills, and made a noise like a rushing wind. The Moon did not appear through the clouds, and not long after midnight there was a tall wood all round the north side of Isengard. There was no sign of enemies nor of any challenge. There was a light gleaming from a high window in the tower, that was all.
"Treebeard and a few more Ents crept on, right round to within sight of the great gates. Pippin and I were with him. We were sitting on Treebeard's shoulders, and I could feel the quivering tenseness in him. But even when they are roused, Ents can be very cautious and patient. They stood still as carved stones, breathing and listening.
"Then all at once there was a tremendous stir. Trumpets blared and the walls of Isengard echoed. We thought that we had been discovered, and that battle was going to begin. But nothing of the sort. All Saruman's people were marching away. I don't know much about this war, or about the Horsemen of Rohan, but Saruman seems to have meant to finish off the king and all his men with one final blow. He emptied Isengard. I saw the enemy go: endless lines of marching Orcs; and troops of them mounted on great wolves. And there were battalions of Men, too. Many of them carried torches, and in the flare I could see their faces. Most of them were ordinary men, rather tall and dark-haired, and grim but not particularly evil-looking. But there were some others that were horrible: man-high, but with goblin-faces, sallow, leering, squint-eyed. Do you know, they reminded me at once of that Southerner at Bree: only he was not so obviously orc-like as most of these were."

[Grey_Wolf]

"I thought of him too," said Aragorn. "We had many of these half-orcs to deal with at Helm's Deep. It seems plain now that that Southerner was a spy of Saruman's; but whether he was working with the Black Riders, or for Saruman alone, I do not know. It is difficult with these evil folk to know when they are in league, and when they are cheating one another."
"Well, of all sorts together, there must have been ten thousand at the very least," said Merry. "They took an hour to pass out of the gates. Some went off down the highway to the Fords, and some turned away : and went eastward. A bridge has been built down there, about a mile away, where the river runs in a very deep channel. You could see it now, if you stood up. They were all singing with harsh voices, and laughing, making a hideous din. I thought things looked very black for Rohan. But Treebeard did not move. He said: "My business is with Isengard tonight, with rock and stone."
"But, though I could not see what was happening in the dark, I believe that Huorns began to move south, as soon as the gates were shut again. Their business was with Orcs I think. They were far down the valley in the morning; or any rate there was a shadow there that one couldn't see through.
"As soon as Saruman had sent off all his army, our turn came. Treebeard put us down, and went up to the gates, and began hammering on the doors, and calling for Saruman. There was no answer, except arrows and stones from the walls. But arrows are no use against Ents. They hurt them, of course, and infuriate them: like stinging flies. But an Ent can be stuck as full of orc-arrows as a pin-cushion, and take no serious harm. They cannot be poisoned, for one thing; and their skin seems to be very thick, and tougher than bark. It takes a very heavy axe-stroke to wound them seriously. They don't like axes. But there would have to be a great many axe-men to one Ent: a man that hacks once at an Ent never gets a chance of a second blow. A punch from an Ent-fist crumples up iron like thin tin.
"When Treebeard had got a few arrows in him, he began to warm up, to get positively "hasty", as he would say. He let out a great hoom-hom, and a dozen more Ents came striding up. An angry Ent is terrifying. Their fingers, and their toes, just freeze on to rock; and they tear it up like bread-crust. It was like watching the work of great tree-roots in a hundred years, all packed into a few moments.
"They pushed, pulled, tore, shook, and hammered; and clang-bang, crash-crack, in five minutes they had these huge gates just lying in ruin; and some were already beginning to eat into the walls, like rabbits in a sand-pit. I don't know what Saruman thought was happening; but anyway he did not know how to deal with it. His wizardry may have been falling off lately, of course; but anyway I think he has not much grit, not much plain courage alone in a tight place without a lot of slaves and machines and things, if you know what I mean. Very different from old Gandalf. I wonder if his fame was not all along mainly due to his cleverness in settling at Isengard."

[Grey_Wolf]

"No," said Aragorn. "Once he was as great as his fame made him. His knowledge was deep, his thought was subtle, and his hands marvellously skilled; and he had a power over the minds of others. The wise he could persuade, and the smaller folk he could daunt. That power he certainly still keeps. There are not many in Middle-earth that I should say were safe, if they were left alone to talk with him, even now when he has suffered a defeat. Gandalf, Elrond, and Galadriel, perhaps, now that his wickedness has been laid bare, but very few others."
"The Ents are safe," said Pippin. "He seems at one time to have got round them, but never again. And anyway he did not understand them; and he made the great mistake of leaving them out of his calculations. He had no plan for them, and there was no time to make any, once they had set to work. As soon as our attack began, the few remaining rats in Isengard started bolting through every hole that the Ents made. The Ents let the Men go, after they had questioned them, two or three dozen only down at this end. I don't think many orc-folk, of any size, escaped. Not from the Huorns: there was a wood full of them all round Isengard by that time, as well as those that had gone down the valley.
"When the Ents had reduced a large part of the southern walls to rubbish, and what was left of his people had bolted and deserted him, Saruman fled in a panic. He seems to have been at the gates when we arrived: I expect he came to watch his splendid army march out. When the Ents broke their way in, he left in a hurry. They did not spot him at first. But the night had opened out, and there was a great light of stars, quite enough for Ents to see by, and suddenly Quickbeam gave a cry "The tree-killer, the tree-killer!" Quickbeam is a gentle creature, but he hates Saruman all the more fiercely for that: his people suffered cruelly from orc-axes. He leapt down the path from the inner gate, and he can move like a wind when he is roused. There was a pale figure hurrying away in and out of the shadows of the pillars, and it had nearly reached the stairs to the tower-door. But it was a near thing. Quickbeam was so hot after him, that he was within a step or two of being caught and strangled when he slipped in through the door.
"When Saruman was safe back in Orthanc, it was not long before he set some of his precious machinery to work. By that time there were many Ents inside Isengard: some had followed Quickbeam, and others had burst in from the north and east; they were roaming about and doing a great deal of damage. Suddenly up came fires and foul fumes: the vents and shafts all over the plain began to spout and belch. Several of the Ents got scorched and blistered. One of them, Beechbone I think he was called, a very tall handsome Ent, got caught in a spray of some liquid fire and burned like a torch: a horrible sight.
"That sent them mad. I thought that they had been really roused before; but I was wrong. I saw what it was like at last. It was staggering. They roared and boomed and trumpeted, until stones began to crack and fall at the mere noise of them. Merry and I lay on the ground and stuffed our cloaks into our ears. Round and round the rock of Orthanc the Ents went striding and storming like a howling gale, breaking pillars, hurling avalanches of boulders down the shafts, tossing up huge slabs of stone into the air like leaves. The tower was in the middle of a spinning whirlwind. I saw iron posts and blocks of masonry go rocketing up hundreds of feet, and smash against the windows of Orthanc. But Treebeard kept his head. He had not had any burns, luckily. He did not want his folk to hurt themselves in their fury, and he did not want Saruman to escape out of some hole in the confusion. Many of the Ents were hurling themselves against the Orthanc-rock; but that defeated them. It is very smooth and hard. Some wizardry is in it, perhaps, older and stronger than Saruman's. Anyway they could not get a grip on it, or make a crack in it; and they were bruising and wounding themselves against it. "So Treebeard went out into the ring and shouted. His enormous voice rose above all the din. There was a dead silence, suddenly. In it we heard a shrill laugh from a high window in the tower. That had a queer effect on the Ents. They had been boiling over; now they became cold, grim as ice, and quiet. They left the plain and gathered round Treebeard, standing quite still. He spoke to them for a little in their own language; I think he was telling them of a plan he had made in his old head long before. Then they just faded silently away in the grey light. Day was dawning by that time."

[Butterbeer]

... and then...

we'll tell you even more about the Ents or "Jolly" green giants and their slow but sudden and amazing eruption into earth-shaking Energy and their veritable storm in the mountain vales that was about to Erupt on the Wizard's vale ....

*merry giggled while Pippin tried to do an ENT impression by standing on tip-toes and warbling "HO! - HOOOOOM!" and simulteneously trying to look slow and sensible and Roused to the point of Wanton destruction and Daeth or Glory March of the Ents*

[Grey_Wolf]

After the impressionist camping about he continued.

"They set a watch on the tower, I believe, but the watchers were so well hidden in shadows and kept so still, that I could not see them. The others went away north. All that day they were busy, out of sight. Most of the time we were left alone. It was a dreary day; and we wandered about a bit, though we kept out of the view of the windows of Orthanc, as much as we could: they stared at us so threateningly. A good deal of the time we spent looking for something to eat. And also we sat and talked, wondering what was happening away south in Rohan, and what had become of all the rest of our Company. Every now and then we could hear in the distance the rattle and fall of stone, and thudding noises echoing in the hills.
"In the afternoon we walked round the circle, and went to have a look at what was going on. There was a great shadowy wood of Huorns at the head of the valley, and another round the northern wall. We did not dare to go in. But there was a rending, tearing noise of work going on inside. Ents and Huorns were digging great pits and trenches, and making great pools and dams, gathering all the waters of the Isen and every other spring and stream that they could find. We left them to it.
"At dusk Treebeard came back to the gate. He was humming and booming to himself, and seemed pleased. He stood and stretched his great arms and legs and breathed deep. I asked him if he was tired.
"Tired?" he said, "tired? Well no, not tired, but stiff. I need a good draught of Entwash. We have worked hard; we have done more stone-cracking and earth-gnawing today than we have done in many a long year before. But it is nearly finished. When night falls do not linger near this gate or in the old tunnel! Water may come through-and it will be foul water for a while, until all the filth of Saruman is washed away. Then Isen can run clean again." He began to pull down a bit more of the walls, in a leisurely sort of way, just to amuse himself.
"We were just wondering where it would be safe to lie and get some sleep, when the most amazing thing of all happened. There was the sound of a rider coming swiftly up the road. Merry and I lay quiet, and Treebeard hid himself in the shadows under the arch. Suddenly a great horse came striding up, like a flash of silver. It was already dark. but I could see the rider's face clearly: it seemed to shine, and all his clothes were white. I just sat up, staring, with my mouth open. I tried to call out, and couldn't.
"There was no need. He halted just by us and looked down at us. "Gandalf!" I said at last. but my voice was only a whisper. Did he say: "Hullo, Pippin! This is a pleasant surprise!"? No, indeed! He said: "Get up, you tom-fool of a Took! Where, in the name of wonder, in all this ruin is Treebeard? I want him. Quick!"
"Treebeard heard his voice and came out of the shadows at once; and there was a strange meeting. I was surprised, because neither of them seemed surprised at all. Gandalf obviously expected to find Treebeard here; and Treebeard might almost have been loitering about near the gates on purpose to meet him. Yet we had told the old Ent all about Moria. But then I remembered a queer look he gave us at the time. I can only suppose that he had seen Gandalf or had some news of him, but would not say anything in a hurry. "Don't be hasty" is his motto; but nobody, not even Elves, will say much about Gandalf's movements when he is not there.

[Grey_Wolf]

'"Hoom! Gandalf!" said Treebeard. "I am glad you have come. Wood and water, stock and stone, I can master; but there is a Wizard to manage here."

'"Treebeard," said Gandalf. "I need your help. You have done much, but I need more. I have about ten thousand Orcs to manage."
"Then those two went off and had a council together in some corner. It must have seemed very hasty to Treebeard, for Gandalf was in a tremendous hurry, and was already talking at a great pace, before they passed out of hearing. They were only away a matter of minutes, perhaps a quarter of an hour. Then Gandalf came back to us, and he seemed relieved, almost merry. He did say he was glad to see us, then.

'"But Gandalf," I cried, "where have you been? And have you seen the others?"

'"Wherever I have been, I am back," he answered in the genuine Gandalf manner. "Yes, I have seen some of the others. But news must wait. This is a perilous night, and I must ride fast. But the dawn may be brighter; and if so, we shall meet again. Take care of yourselves, and keep away from Orthanc! Good-bye!"
"Treebeard was very thoughtful after Gandalf had gone. He had evidently learnt a lot in a short time and was digesting it. He looked at us and said: "Hm, well, I find you are not such hasty folk as I thought. You said much less than you might, and not more than you should. Hm, this is a bundle of news and no mistake! Well, now Treebeard must get busy again."
"Before he went, we got a little news out of him; and it did not cheer us up at all. But for the moment we thought more about you three than about Frodo and Sam, or about poor Boromir. For we gathered that there was a great battle going on, or soon would be, and that you were in it, and might never come out of it.

'"Huorns will help," said Treebeard. Then he went away and we did not see him again until this morning.
"It was deep night. We lay on top of a pile of stone, and could see nothing beyond it. Mist or shadows blotted out everything like a great blanket all round us. The air seemed hot and heavy; and it was full of rustlings, creakings, and a murmur like voices passing. I think that hundreds more of the Huorns must have been passing by to help in the battle. Later there was a great rumble of thunder away south, and flashes of lightning far away across Rohan. Every now and then we could see mountain-peaks, miles and miles away, stab out suddenly, black and white, and then vanish. And behind us there were noises like thunder in hills, but different. At times the whole valley echoed.
"It must have been about midnight when the Ents broke the dams and poured all the gathered waters through a gap in the northern wall, down into Isengard. The Huorn-dark had passed, and the thunder had rolled away. The Moon was sinking behind the western mountains.
"Isengard began to fill up with black creeping streams and pools. They glittered in the last light of the Moon, as they spread over the plain. Every now and then the waters found their way down into some shaft or spouthole. Great white steams hissed up. Smoke rose in billows. There were explosions and gusts of fire. One great coil of vapour went whirling up, twisting round and round Orthanc, until it looked like a tall peak of cloud, fiery underneath and moonlit above. And still more water poured in, until at last Isengard looked like a huge flat saucepan, all steaming and bubbling."
"We saw a cloud of smoke and steam from the south last night when we came to the mouth of Nan CurunÃ*r," said Aragorn. "We feared that Saruman was brewing some new devilry for us."
"Not he!" said Pippin. "He was probably choking and not laughing any more. By the morning, yesterday morning, the water had sunk down into all the holes, and there was a dense fog. We took refuge in that guardroom over there; and we had rather a fright. The lake began to overflow and pour out through the old tunnel, and the water was rapidly rising up the steps. We thought we were going to get caught like Orcs in a hole; but we found a winding stair at the back of the store-room that brought us out on top of the arch. It was a squeeze to get out, as the passages had been cracked and half blocked with fallen stone near the top. There we sat high up above the floods and watched the drowning of Isengard. The Ents kept on pouring in more water, till all the fires were quenched and every cave filled. The fogs slowly gathered together and steamed up into a huge umbrella of cloud: it must have been a mile high. In the evening there was a great rainbow over the eastern hills; and then the sunset was blotted out by a thick drizzle on the mountain-sides. It all went very quiet. A few wolves howled mournfully, far away. The Ents stopped the inflow in the night, and sent the Isen back into its old course. And that was the end of it all.
"Since then the water has been sinking again. There must be outlets somewhere from the caves underneath, I think. If Saruman peeps out of any of his windows, it must look an untidy, dreary mess. We felt very lonely. Not even a visible Ent to talk to in all the ruin; and no news. We spent the night up on top there above the arch, and it was cold and damp and we did not sleep. We had a feeling that anything might happen at any minute. Saruman is still in his tower. There was a noise in the night like a wind coming up the valley. I think the Ents and Huorns that had been away came back then; but where they have all gone to now, I don't know. It was a misty, moisty morning when we climbed down and looked round again, and nobody was about. And that is about all there is to tell. It seems almost peaceful now after all the turmoil. And safer too, somehow, since Gandalf came back. I could sleep!"

[Grey_Wolf]

They all fell silent for a while. Gimli re-filled his pipe. "There is one thing I wonder about," he said as he lit it with his flint and tinder: "Wormtongue. You told Théoden he was with Saruman. How did he get there?"
"Oh yes, I forgot about him," said Pippin. "He did not get here till this morning. We had just lit the fire and had some breakfast when Treebeard appeared again. We heard him hooming and calling our names outside.

'"I have just come round to see how you are faring, my lads," he said;"and to give you some news. Huorns have come back. All's well; aye very well indeed!" he laughed, and slapped his thighs. "No more Orcs in Isengard, no more axes! And there will be folk coming up from the South before the day is old; some that you may be glad to see."
"He had hardly said that, when we heard the sound of a bike engine on the road. We rushed out before the gates, and I stood and stared, half expecting to see Strider and Gandalf come riding up at the head of an army. But out of the mist there rode a man on an old wornout bike; and he looked a queer twisted sort of creature himself. There was no one else. When he came. out of the mist and suddenly saw all the ruin and wreckage in front of him, he sat and gaped, and his face went almost green. He was so bewildered that he did not seem to notice us at first. When he did, he gave a cry, and tried to turn his horse round and ride off. But Treebeard took three strides, put out a long arm, and lifted him the bike. His bike fell over, and he grovelled on the ground. He said he was GrÃ*ma, friend and counsellor of the king, and had been sent with important messages from Théoden to Saruman.

'"No one else would dare to drive through the open land, so full of foul Orcs," he said, "so I was sent. And I have had a perilous journey, and I am hungry and weary. I fled far north out of my way, pursued by wolves."
"I caught the sidelong looks he gave to Treebeard, and I said to myself "liar". Treebeard looked at him in his long slow way for several minutes, till the wretched man was squirming on the floor. Then at last he said: "Ha, hm, I was expecting you, Master Wormtongue." The man started at that name. "Gandalf got here first. So I know as much about you as I need, and I know what to do with you. Put all the rats in one trap, said Gandalf; and I will. I am the master of Isengard now, but Saruman is locked in his tower; and you can go there and give him all the messages that you can think of."

'"Let me go, let me go!" said Wormtongue. "I know the way."

'"You knew the way, I don't doubt," said Treebeard. "But things have changed here a little. Go and see!"
"He let Wormtongue go, and he limped off through the arch with us close behind, until he came inside the ring and could see all the floods that lay between him and Orthanc. Then he turned to us.

'"Let me go away!" he whined. "Let me go away! My messages are useless now."

'"They are indeed," said Treebeard. "But you have only two choices: to stay with me until Gandalf and your master arrive; or to cross the water. Which will you have?"
"The man shivered at the mention of his master, and put a foot into the water; but he drew back. "I cannot swim," he said.

'"The water is not deep," said Treebeard. "It is dirty, but that will not harm you, Master Wormtongue. In you go now!"
"With that the wretch floundered off into the flood. It rose up nearly to his neck before he got too far away for me to see him. The last I saw of him was clinging to some old barrel or piece of wood. But Treebeard waded after him, and watched his progress.

'"Well, he has gone in," he said when he returned. "I saw him crawling up the steps like a draggled rat. There is someone in the tower still: a hand came out and pulled him in. So there he is, and I hope the welcome is to his liking. Now I must go and wash myself clean of the slime. I'll be away up on the north side, if anyone wants to see me. There is no clean water down here fit for an Ent to drink. or to bathe in. So I will ask you two lads to keep a watch at the gate for the folk that are coming. There'll be the General of the Fields of Rohan, mark you! You must welcome him as well as you know how: his men have fought a great fight with the Orcs. Maybe, you know the right fashion of Men's words for such a lord, better than Ents. There have been many lords in the green fields in my time, and I have never learned their speech or their names. They will be wanting man-food, and you know all about that, I guess. So find what you think is fit for a king to eat, if you can." And that is the end of the story. Though I should like to know who this Wormtongue is. Was he really the king's counsellor?"
"He was," said Aragorn; 'and also Saruman's spy and servant in Rohan. Fate has not been kinder to him than he deserves. The sight of the ruin of all that he thought so strong and magnificent must have been almost punishment enough. But I fear that worse awaits him."
"Yes, I don't suppose Treebeard sent him to Orthanc out of kindness," said Merry. "He seemed rather grimly delighted with the business and was laughing to himself when he went to get his bathe and drink. We spent a busy time after that, searching the flotsam, and rummaging about. We found two or three store-rooms in different places nearby, above the flood-level. But Treebeard sent some Ents down, and they carried off a great deal of the stuff.

'"We want man-food for twenty-five," the Ents said, so you can see that somebody had counted your company carefully before you arrived. You three were evidently meant to go with the great people. But you would not have fared any better. We kept as good as we sent, I promise you. Better, because we sent no drink.

'"What about drink?" I said to the Ents.

'"There is water of Isen," they said, "and that is good enough for Ents and Men." But I hope that the Ents may have found time to brew some of their draughts from the mountain-springs, and we shall see Gandalf's beard curling when he returns. After the Ents had gone, we felt tired, and hungry. But we did not grumble - our labours had been well rewarded. It was through our search for man-food that Pippin discovered the prize of all the flotsam, those Hornblower barrels. "Pipe-weed is better after food," said Pippin; that is how the situation arose."
"We understand it all perfectly now," said Gimli.
"All except one thing," said Aragorn:"leaf from the Southfarthing in Isengard. The more I consider it, the more curious I find it. I have never been in Isengard, but I have journeyed in this land, and I know well the empty countries that lie between Rohan and the Shire. Neither goods nor folk have passed that way for many a long year, not openly. Saruman had secret dealings with someone in the Shire, I guess. Wormtongues may be found in other houses than King Théoden's. Was there a date on the barrels?"
"Yes," said Pippin. "It was the 1417 crop, that is last year's; no, the year before, of course, now: a good year."
"Ah well, whatever evil was afoot is over now, I hope; or else it is beyond our reach at present," said Aragorn. "Yet I think I shall mention it to Gandalf, small matter though it may seem among his great affairs."
"I wonder what he is doing," said Merry. "The afternoon is getting on. Let us go and look round! You can enter Isengard now at any rate, Strider, if you want to. But it is not a very cheerful sight."

[Grey_Wolf]

They passed through the ruined tunnel and stood upon a heap of stones, gazing at the dark rock of Orthanc, and its many windows, a menace still in the desolation that lay all about it. The waters had now nearly all subsided. Here and there gloomy pools remained, covered with scum and wreckage; but most of the wide circle was bare again, a wilderness of slime and tumbled rock, pitted with blackened holes, and dotted with posts and pillars leaning drunkenly this way and that. At the rim of the shattered bowl there lay vast mounds and slopes, like the shingles cast up by a great storm; and beyond them the green and tangled valley ran up into the long ravine between the dark arms of the mountains. Across the waste they saw the Rohirrim Motorcade returning on the train and nearing the Orthanc end of the tracks.
"There is Gandalf, and Théoden and his men!" said Legolas. "Let us go and meet them!"
"Walk warily!" said Merry. "There are loose slabs that may tilt up and throw you down into a pit, if you don't take care."

[Grey_Wolf]

They followed what was left of the road from the gates to Orthanc, going slowly, for the flag-stones were cracked and slimed. The Bikers, having driven off the train and seeing them approach, halted under the shadow of the rock and waited for them. Gandalf rode forward to meet them.
"Well, Treebeard and I have had some interesting discussions, and made a few plans," he said;"and we have all had some much-needed rest. Now we must be going on again. I hope you companions have all rested, too, and refreshed yourselves?"
"We have," said Merry. "But our discussions began and ended in smoke. Still we feel less ill-disposed towards Saruman than we did."
"Do you indeed?" said Gandalf. "Well, I do not. I have now a last task to do before I go: I must pay Saruman a farewell visit. Dangerous, and probably useless; but it must be done. Those of you who wish may come with me - but beware! And do not jest! This is not the time for it."
"I will come," said Gimli. "I wish to see him and learn if he really looks like you."
"And how will you learn that, Master Dwarf?" said Gandalf. "Saruman could look like me in your eyes, if it suited his purpose with you. And are you yet wise enough to detect all his counterfeits? Well, we shall see, perhaps. He may be shy of showing himself before many different eyes together. But I have ordered all the Ents to remove themselves from sight, so perhaps we shall persuade him to come out."
"What's the danger?" asked Pippin. "Will he shoot at us, and pour fire out of the windows; or can he put a spell on us from a distance?"
"The last is most likely, if you ride to his door with a light heart," said Gandalf. "But there is no knowing what he can do, or may choose to try. A wild beast cornered is not safe to approach. And Saruman has powers you do not guess. Beware of his voice!"

[Butterbeer]

... and also beware of his flip charts of Doom and ricky gervais ' The Office' dance impersonation ... its deadly!