The Drunk Elf Pirates and the Quest for the Wine-thieves

[Sicirus]

Sicirus stared at the odd girl who had just screamed her head off making everyone nearby jump and swing around to find the source of the noise. Sicirus shook her head trying to clear out the sudden noise and stared at the daft lady.

Sicirus: RUM!!!!! You scream at us then ask us for rum????

Eressë Tîwele: *nods*

Sicirus: ...yeah we have rum.

Eärniel: Sicirus don't go telling everyone what we have aboard our ship you daft elf!! What if she tries to steal it?

Blue people: Er...

Sicirus: yeah...you have a point actually.*turns back to Eresse* Why ye want to know of our rum...ARGH!!!

Earniel: *knocks sicirus upside the head* Just don't talk mate.

[Butterbeer]

somewhere a wave crashed against a boat ... this seemed to be part of some sort of pattern, mused a passing gull ...

[Lady Willow Rose]

Eressë smiled contentedly. "Oh good, you have rum. I haven't had rum in precisely 3 hours, 32 minutes and 12 seconds." There was an awkward silence. "Make that 13 seconds."

One of the braver blue people poked her with a spear. It wasn't a very savage move, though. More like a 3-year-old poking an unidentified life form. She lifted an eyebrow at him. "Uh... Care to knock that off, mate?" This only encouraged the blue person and he poked her a little more energetically.

After three pokes, she unsheathed an empty rum bottle and whacked him over the head. His eyes rolled up into his head and he slumped to the ground. Eressë nodded, feeling much better.

[Butterbeer]

The Seagull, whilst musing the pattern that he saw emerging with the whole wave thing ... absently answered a gull call of nature ...


and the sea gods of continiuty are appeased ...

... the look on the startled Giant turtle's face had been worth it ... especially as it was quickly and randomly followed by a hurtled bottle of rum ( sadly empty)

[Rían]

Sáva realized she had been staring at the clouds for quite a while. Where was she? Ahhh, that last cuppa Chai had been really ... unusual! That was what was so fun about Chai - sometimes you'd drink it, and then wake up in an entirely new place! Sáva didn't recall the time/space changing properties of Chai being discussed in her physics class at the University of Tharbad, but perhaps they were only covered in the upper-level classes.

Sitting up, she looked around. She heard noises, and got up to explore, brushing off the bracken from her pink purse and slinging it over her lovely Elven shoulder. Peeking through some bushes, she saw ... blue people?! Faint memories of a show at Vegas featuring blue people flashed through her head ...

[klatukatt]

*Bob screamed.*

Korush: Hey! Shut up! What is goin' on?

Bob: *strained* It is very complicated. There is a lot of strain... unbalanced...

Korush: You look unbalanced. Maybe it's the heat.

*Bob held onto the sand, which started to melt.*

Bob: Heat, yes.

*Bob waded a ways into the sea. The water around her started to boil. Bob screwed up her eyes and dunked into the water. Custard fountained out of the sea.*

Sarin: Um, Korush? What now?

Korush: Bloody hell, mate, I dunno.

Sarin: I mean with the ship?

Korush: Oh, right.

[The last sane person]

Kor: Come on...Er...*Is perplexed by the fountain of custard comming from the locationn of the submerged Bob* We are finished with the gunnery deck and have a little left with the hulls.

Sarin: *sneaks a glance to the forested mountain and then to the sky* Er, aye. What else?

Kor: Lets brace the ribs where there wasnt much damage, want to be on the safe side.

Sarin: Fine by me mate, what about er...that thing?

Kor: *shrugs* Beats the hell out of me. Come on. *he heads down, and Sarin sneaks a knife in his belt.*

[Earniel]

*The tall Shaman didn't look happy with Eressë's treatment of one of her people and said something to the other blue Elves. In a second they had all piled on the offending stranger.*

EXK: Stand back, crew.

Sicirus: But captain, they're attacking her!

XK: Better her than us. Do you know her, mate?

Sicirus: Well... no.

XK: Then stand back. She attacked that blue Elf first.

*Soon[ Eressë was tied, resembling .... well, a very tied up Eressë.*

Shaman: Ah, we can talk in peace now. Follow me, and if you can keep her calm, bring her along. *points at Eressë*

*The captain indicates Sicirus to pick up the tied up sausage... er Elf. Sicirus complies and swings Eressë over her shoulder as they all cautiously follow the Shaman.*

[Lady Willow Rose]

Eressë is highly familiar with being tied up. After all, she had enemies. And their natural reaction was to tie her up. Anything to get her to stand still and stop drinking all the rum.

Didn't mean she wasn't pissed off. Just means she was accustomed to rope.

Taking a few deep, somewhat calming breaths, she slid herself out of the ropes. The blue people looked at her with a fascinating mix of shock, annoyance and constipation. Oops, consternation. Sometimes her thoughts get mixed up.

Eressë brushed herself off and looked at the shaman with some hostility. "You know, I did warn that other blue chap before I swacked him. If he'd had a brain in his head, he would have stopped. What is the public education system coming to?"

[Sicirus]

Sicirus felt the load on her back slip and become lighter. Sicirus looked at the savc and saw that the elf had escaped and lookeda round frantically for her. She saw that she had gone up to the Shaman and ran up to join them.

Sicirus: Hey!! How did you get out of those bindings?

Eresse: Practice! *Grins*

Sicirus: Oh...that does help doens't it.

Eresse: Now what about that wine?

Sicirus: *Shakes head* Captain said no so I follow those orders loyaly.

Eresse: Fine then. *walks away to continue talk with Shaman.*

OOC: Sorry really bad post.

[Lady Willow Rose]

Eresse stopped suddenly, turned around and hugged Sicirus.

"I know you were going to lug me around all tied up, but you didn't want to. It was what your captain ordered. So, I forgive you." She smiled brightly and skipped back over to the shaman.

She hugged the shaman and, to the shock of the crew, hugged her back. It was discovered that the shaman was familiar with the run-worshipping colony that Eresse's father had come from. Eresse had known the shaman since she was three.

Well, ain't that a kick in the head?

[klatukatt]

*Bob arose out of the sea like... a small person covered in custard, which is what she was. The custard immediatly disolved as soon as she got past the tide line.*

Bob: Korush? I go to seek the captian, and perhaps Katharsis a little later.

Korush: Katharsis?

Bob: Yes. *dissapears into the leaves*

Korush: Good ridiance.

*Bob would in fact find the captian in a bit of trouble.*

OOC: Yalls cue to have a fight!

[Lady Willow Rose]

Eresse walked up to the Captain and slapped her. She blinked at her.

"What did you do that for?" she complained.

"Uh, you let me get tied up!"

"But the shaman is a friend of yours. Why would she tie you up?" she demanded.

"Oh, I asked her about that. She said she was testing your honor and the honor of your crew. She also says that you all failed royally." Eresse smiled at him sweetly.

The blue elves all pointed their spears at the crew.

It didn't look like they were going to do anything friendly.

[klatukatt]

(OOC: Pointer- our Captian is not male. Just so you know.)

[Earniel]

*The captain slowly rubbed the red mark on her cheek. Her eyes narrowed. The crew, knowing fully what that meant, shot glances to one another and slowly took a step away from the captain. Suddenly the captain of the Nal threw her head back and laughed out loud, not a reaction anyone had expected. Eärniel started looking worried and felt her pockets for a reassuring bar of chocolate. *

XK: Oh my, aren't you two clever. But it's not like either of you is one to chide us about honour, m'dears. Using magic, lies and cheating to get us here? And we're the ones who failed the honour-test? Right. *smiles just as sweetly to Eresse* You have little shame, do you? But don't worry, luv, it will make you a fine pirate someday. You'll have drop that smug attitude of yours first, though.

Shaman: *claps hands and adopts a sarcastic tone* Such a moving speech! Bravo, I have tears in my eyes! I have seen the errors of my way. But enough fun and word games. Let me bring your attention to the fact that you're all surrounded and outnumbered, something you seem to have purposely forgotten?

XK: *looks around unconcerned and shrugs* I had noticed, should it mean something?

Shaman: It means you’re our prisoner.

Eärniel: Actually, it just means we’ll be a little inconvenienced as soon as those fellas come and play.

Shaman: And which 'fellas' would those be?

Sicirus: Um, the ones approaching your village behind your back?

Ethuliel: *adds helpfully* They carry a lot of weapons and seem rather cross with you.

Shaman*rolls eyes* Oh please, do I look like I’ll fall for the oldest trick in the book?

XK: *casually* You will, when you get that spear in your back.

Eresse: *risks a look back and pulls the shaman out of harm’s way* The enemy is attacking!

*And indeed, out of the forest come a large number of purple elves, looking quite intend on giving their blue-coloured cousins a beating of a life-time. The shaman yells commands and her tribe starts preparing for battle.*

XK: *crosses arms with amused look on her face* You two sure know how to make friends…

Eärniel: *urgently* Captain!

XK: I know, mate. Crew! Time to get back to the ship, looks like we’re done here anyway. And try not to get killed on the way back. Anyone who does, get to swap the deck the next month!

Crew: Aye, captain!

Eärniel: But Xen, how can they swap the deck when they’re dead?

EX: You’ve been on a ship with a flying vampire crewmember and an equally undead captain, and you need to ask?

Eärniel: Oh. Yeah. Right.

EX: Oh, and Eärniel?

Eärniel: Yes?

EX: Will you start running?!

Eärniel: *looks back to see enemy tribe approaching rapidly, while the blue elves try to take their defensive positions. Oh. *starts running*

[Lady Willow Rose]

Eresse unsheathed both her sword and her empty rum bottle. It was her duty to protect the Shaman. After all, the Shaman was her childhood friend. All the times Eresse had been smacked around, humiliated and emotionally scarred by the Shaman should count for something.

Eresse blinked suddenly, staring off into space.

"Wait..." Sicirus cast an odd look at her. Eresse looked at Sicirus. "You know, I think I just had some sort of revelation." She moved away from the Shaman and stood in front of the crew, settling into offensive maneuver 32. "Sorry about slapping you, Captain," she shouted over her shoulder. "I haven't had rum in a couple of days and it's starting to muddle my brain."

[klatukatt]

*Bob emerged from the steaming underbrush, much of which had turned into spagetti from her presence. There was a battle going on. Blue elves fighting purple elves while both were chasing some roughly pinkish brown elves.*

Bob: Ah. A fight.

*A purple elf rushed toward Bob with spear raised, but had to drop it suddenly and cluch his face. As he let out an anguished cry of pain, the broccoli that had just sprouted out of his nose went to seed in a cluster of yellow flowers. Another elf that had not seen the first one made a move toward Bob. He hit the ground with a squish because he had no bones anymore. Bob moved to follow the crew back to the ship, leaving disabled elves everywhere in her wake.*

*They never did get all of the Shaman out of that tree.*

[Lady Willow Rose]

Eresse followed the crew to their ship, fending off the blue and purple elves as they rushed after them. She smashed her rum bottle against one blue elf's skull so hard that the bottle cracked.

Time froze for her. She stared down at the ruins of her treasured rum bottle. Sicirus looked back at her and, to her shock, saw that Eresse had burst into tears.

"Oh, suck it up, woman!" She grabbed Eresse's hand and dragged her onto the ship.

"My bottle," she mourned. "I've had it since I was a wee babe. How could it have broken?" Sicirus patted her should awkwardly.

"There, there. I'm sure you'll be all right. It was a good rum bottle but all glass containers reach their limits."

[Telcontar_Dunedain]

*In a hut in the bllue elf village*

Erenion: So remind me again, why is it that your leader wants to see me again?

Guard: We've got some visitors, I think he might finally have found a use for you. *grins evilly*

Erenion: A use for me? Well I'm glad someone has, although I hope he doesn't want me to chase them off the island or into that purple village. My physique isn't what it was, though it wouldn't surprise me if I could still out run you young lads. I used to be one of the quickest runners in Beleriand in my time. But your prison keep-fit program leaves alot to be desired.

Guard: We don't have a prison keep fit program.

Erenion: Yes, I know, that's why it leaves a lot to be desired! *Smiles cheekily*

Guard: Yes very funny, but you'll be laughing from the other side of your face after the leader's done with you. *Pokes Erenion in the side with his sword*

*Noise from near main building*

Erenion: *Breaking silence* Wonder what that's all about.

Guard: It doesn't matter, now walk.

Erenion: I think it does. Are they purple elves over there.

*Guard turns to see purple elve opouring out of the forest and the blue elves arming themselves*

Guard: Stay there. *Sheaths his sword and takes out his bow but before he can shoot and arrow hits his neck and he falls down dead.*

Erenion: What a mess, but I suppose you don't mind me taking these do you. *Takes the Guards sword, bow and arrows* Now what to do now. *Turns and sees crew of the Nal running away from the battle and follows*

-------------------------------

EXK: *As Erenion catches up with the crew* Who goes there?

Erenion: I am Erenion marm.

EXK: And what do you want with us?

Erenion: Well I'm guessing by the fact that you were running away from the battle that you have some way of getting away from here. A ship perhaps?

EXK: Aye, and what if we do.

Erenion: Well I was hoping if I could join you. I know my way around a ship, it was a ship that got me stuck here in the first place.

EXK: Doesn't sound very promising, if the only ship you've ever sailed got stranded here.

Erenion: Perhaps not. But could you at least give me a chance?

[Farimir Captain of Gondor]

*In a dark hut, with no windows and a single door with a small slit in it, sat the prisoners of the blue-elves. Other than the prisoners the room had nothing in it but a thin layer of straw on its dusty floor. The prisoners were chained to one another to make it more difficult to escape. Outside screams of pain and the sound of clashing steel could be heard. The prisoners all seemed to be waiting for something to happen, for the door to open and death to enter. One prisoner leaned over to his chain mate.*

“Sounds like a heluva fight to me.”
“ Aye. I’m getting outta here, and it looks like you’re coming with me.”
“No complaints here mate”, came the reply. “But how do you suppose we do that? It doesn’t appear to be that simple. We need to find something to bust that door and unless you plan on using straw to do it, we’re stuck.”

The man seemed content on just waiting when a hand grabbed his arm and lifted him up. In the little light that was coming from the door he could see now that his chain mate was an elf, a female elf. How could he have missed this?

“We’ll just have to use our heads.” the elf said to herself.
“Why use ours, when we could use his?” He pointed to a large man chained to a very skinny one. “He’s got a fat head. Besides, he’s been taking the other one’s rations for the last few weeks.” A smile came to the elf’s face. “I doubt it will work but let’s give it a shot.” They walked over to him.
“What do you want?” The fat guy said.
The elf didn’t reply. She lifted her foot and kicked the guy square in the nose. Blood exploded everywhere and the man let out a scream. She bent down and grabbed his arm from his face and began to drag him towards to the door. Her chain mate helped the other one.

“Okay, grab his other arm and leg and let’s do this.”
They picked him up and he pleaded for them not to do it. The man leaned in and said, “If you hadn’t grown so large, I might have over looked you.” With that they slammed his head into the door.
CLANG!
His body dropped to the floor. The door didn’t budge. The elf kicked him in the stomach. “I knew that wouldn’t…” The sound of keys was heard on the other side. They heard the door being unlocked and made ready to jump whoever opened it, but it never did.
They pushed opened the door and found a blue-elf lying on the ground with an arrow in his back. They looked up and from the forest an army of purple-elves poured out.
The man took in a deep breath, “We’re free.” An arrow wised passed his head. “Well, almost.” The prisoners ran out of the slave house and scattered in all directions.
They took refuge behind a hut close by. The smell of the ocean was thick.
“The names Rana, what’s yours?” The elf said, putting her hand out. From what he could tell, she was tall, with hair the color of the sun, which contrasted with her dark skin.
“Wish I knew.” The man replied ducking another arrow. “The only thing I remember is being placed in chains and thrown in that little room. You can call me Sharkbait for all I care, just get us outta here.”
Rana- “Sharkbait it is then.”
Rana pointed to a ship that was harbored close by, “There’s gotta be something on there that we can use to get these chains off. Let’s go.”
They ran to the ship and boarded cautiously. It seemed abandoned so they started their search for tools. They came upon a room filled with food and rum. Sharkbait’s eyes lit up and his stomach rumbled. “Food!” He ran and fell to the floor of the ship with a thud.
“What’s the deal elf!?”
“Have you forgotten we’re still chained together and this is not our boat?”
There were sounds of voices and feet scurrying around on the deck.

Someone was coming.