The Singers Thread

[Tessar]

OoooooOOOOOooooh guess what I figured out how to do last night?!!? I figured out how to give my high notes 'space' in the back of the mouth/throat! I was just playing around with my voice in the shower, testing the difference between taking a breath, setting the vowel, and then singing vs. the 'breathing in the vowel' trick that I've been doing for my high notes. I noticed that the main difference is in how the breath flows, BUT also that breathing in the vowel makes me open the 'back' of my mouth more. I played around with that and it started making my middle register easier to access.

I don't think I have it quite right yet, but I think I'm on the right path. I played around doing my middle register with too much space and too little space... too little space makes my voice shrill and difficult to control, while too much space makes it woofy and I lose the true vowel. So there's definitely a happy medium for me to find, but I have certainly been keeping my mouth too small up to this point and I was opening the front and middle of my mouth instead of properly opening up the back space.


We're supposed to look at O Del Mio Amato Ben by Donaudy today, and I also want to try to look at the Catalog aria from Don Giovanni. But last night while I was watching a DVD of Don Giovanni (which I'd never seen before--I just knew a few arias from it) I discovered the character Masetto!!!! I think I'm in love. It feels like a psudo-tenor role in the way his character is portrayed (i.e. he's not the big manly bass, he's more of a romantic/pathetic character) and I REALLY want to try his aria. I love how he's angry, but it's not like one of Handel's 'rage' aria where you're like a big burly guy singing how you're going to kill everyone with your godlike powers . It's more like impotent rage, and you don't find hardly any baritone roles like that! I'm going to go find the aria in the music library in just a few minutes and give it a shot.

[Voronwen]

Originally Posted by Tessar

I figured out how to give my high notes 'space' in the back of the mouth/throat!

Yay! "Front space" and "back space" need to be balanced. This is how you achieve the chiaro-oscuro quality in the sound. Awesome!

I discovered the character Masetto!!!!

Aha! Good one for you, it would seem. It's a smaller role so it might be worth having in your arsenal as you start auditioning for starter roles in your career. Definitely worth asking your teacher about!

[Tessar]

Grrr. I had a FRUSTRATING lesson today because my teacher accidentally grabbed the wrong Donaudy book off of her piano stand, so I was trying to sing the way I had practiced and nothing was coming out right. I kept trying, and trying, and then I finally just said, "Okay, WHAT am I doing wrong?! This high note is only a D and I'm choking on it! This wasn't happening when I practiced it."

My teacher's eyes got huge, and she said, "OH! I'm so sorry, I'm playing it in the wrong key!!"

I don't blame her, because it was a totally innocent mistake and I'm sure eventually I'll laugh about it but GRRR. It was so frustrating because I was struggling so hard to sing the piece and I -knew- that yesterday it had been easier. I thought I was just screwing up.

[Voronwen]

Originally Posted by Tessar

My teacher's eyes got huge, and she said, "OH! I'm so sorry, I'm playing it in the wrong key!!"

It makes total sense that you couldn't sing it as well in the wrong key. In the wrong key, the piece sits totally differently in the voice, so it would feel very wrong around your register breaks and all..

I have a Handel piece that i sing in both normal and 'period' pitch. It's only different by about a half step, but it falls differently enough around my registers that i need to practice it in both 'keys' (even though it's the same key, but you know what i mean!). So if even that is enough that it feels completely different in the voice, i can imagine that an entirely wrong key would be just awful!

[Tessar]

Originally Posted by Voronwen

I have a Handel piece that i sing in both normal and 'period' pitch. It's only different by about a half step, but it falls differently enough around my registers that i need to practice it in both 'keys' (even though it's the same key, but you know what i mean!). So if even that is enough that it feels completely different in the voice, i can imagine that an entirely wrong key would be just awful!

That makes sense.

Today we had, due to my questions, more of a talking lesson than a singing lesson... but it was a good thing. We fixed two misconceptions of mine... I thought, for some reason, that I was depressing my larynx too much every time I tried to raise my soft palate... so I wasn't doing everything I could to keep my palate up. So that's going to take a little practicing to get used to, but it's going to be a huge improvement to my vocal stability and tonal quality.

Another thing is that I was definitely overdoing, and then not doing enough, of the 'floating ribs' thing. We worked on trying to find a kind of middle ground for me where I could float them without having to keep them fully expanded.

I sang my Masetto aria "Ho Capito," and I need to fix some diction stuff... for some of the words I was completely off in how I thought they were said, which is part of why next semester I'm going to start auditing the diction classes. Her biggest comment is that she wants me to start being more conscious of how I'm 'shading' my voice as I sing, and being more characterized with how I use my voice in arias. Basically doing more acting with my voice. I'm totally all for that... I'm excited to work on it .

[Tessar]

I wanted to make a second post for this.

A country singer came to my school today to talk to the music marketing majors, and I ended up going because the department decided to call it a concert credit... and I figured I'd go just to earn a credit... I think I have all of the ones I need for the semester, but you can never be too safe .

http://www.myspace.com/davebradleymusic

He's pretty cool... he was born in the UK (so he has an adorable accent), and he started out doing a brief stint in the military, then he became an oil rig guy, and while he was doing that he taught himself to play the guitar and realized he was a pretty good singer.

So over the course of six years, having no actual formal musical background, he learned to play the guitar and started writing songs. Now he's building a career. I went ahead and asked him if he'd had any formal musical training at all, and he said he took a handful of voice lessons but stopped because his teacher told him that singing is basically an extension of speaking and I think he realized he didn't really need any lessons. Listening to his recorded, and live, music I'm inclined to agree with him that he didn't really need any lessons to sing country music... I can definitely hear a few things that could be improved on slightly (the tiny music critic in my ear tells me that every once in a while there's a slight instability in his voice) but from a purely enjoyment perspective he's just a naturally fantastic singer .

It was just interesting to me to hear him talk, and to hear his manager talk, about his career. I chuckled to myself because I think it's just pretty neat that in six years he taught himself how to play guitar, sing, and write music and now he's got a career going on... can you even imagine that for opera? That's next to impossible even if you're very naturally talented... you're talking years and years of voice lessons before you even dare try to audition for anything. Coachings, lessons, dramatic interpretations, learning to get everything just perfect... then you have a country singer who doesn't really sing, then in six years he's recording a record.

I thought it was really cool to hear about his success.

[Tessar]

Woohoo, four new arias, plus my Masetto aria from Don Giovanni... she gave me Papag's aria from The Magic Flute (der Vogelfanger bin ich ja), Warm as the Autumn Light from Ballad of Baby Doe, Voila donc la terrible cite from Thais, and Bella siccome un angelo from Don Pasquale.

Now to see if I can have all five polished and ready for a Feb. 22nd audition... it'll be a challenge, particularly because of the huge break... I think we have four or five weeks off between Fall and Spring. I will probably end up begging my coach to help me all during the break, because I don't think I can do it on my own. I'll really need help getting these arias prepared for an actual audition.

It's for a summer program. I don't think I'll get in, because they only accept 22 students and it's typically people quite a bit older than myself, but I feel like it's something I really need to try.

Plus hey... it got me some arias .

Now I just need to learn the operas they're from. o_O Luckily I already know Magic Flute really well because I was in the chorus my freshman year. The other three I only vaguely know, and then of course I know some arias from each of them.

[Voronwen]

Today we had, due to my questions, more of a talking lesson than a singing lesson... but it was a good thing.

Those can be good once in a while, yes

I think it's just pretty neat that in six years he taught himself how to play guitar, sing, and write music and now he's got a career going on... can you even imagine that for opera?

No! Sometimes it takes twenty.

Honestly though - classical music is the only genre that takes so long to perfect things 'enough' so that one can have a career. In fact many of us who have trained in opera are in ways annoyingly (to us, anyway!) over-qualified for some other styles of singing..

I can definitely hear a few things that could be improved on slightly (the tiny music critic in my ear tells me that every once in a while there's a slight instability in his voice)

Case in point It's definitely a mixed blessing to be listening to other styles of music and not be able to relax and just listen because the 'trained singer' in your ear is picking apart every little wrong thing they're doing, whether we want to or not!

Warm as the Autumn Light from Ballad of Baby Doe

Oh cool I've sung the Willow Aria myself... which i love.

and Bella siccome un angelo from Don Pasquale

..And i've sung Norina's aria from that. Maybe we'd sing together one day!

As far as your summer program goes, it sounds like you're building a good package of arias for your voice type Go you!

[Tessar]

Are you singing anything lately? I know your life is super stressful right now, so I imagine singing is probably one of the last thing on your mind.

Today I saw my voice teacher in the hallway, and we discussed my arias briefly... she asked if I'd checked out any of the operas yet, so I told her I'd read all of the plot summaries and had CDs for all of them, but hadn't gotten around to actually learning them yet. She was surprised . I think she was expecting me to wait till next week because of the amount of choir stuff we have going on this week.

We were talking about the wide range of arias, and she say, slowing down as she spoke, "So... I guess I gave you a really... wide... selections of arias. Uh... I guess eventually we'll want to narrow that down into an actual fach. But for now lets just play around!" It made me laugh.

[Tessar]

In my lesson today I showed my voice teacher some of the stuff that I can and can't do with my voice, and she was surprised at some things and said that now she understands my voice much better and she wants to change our plan for next semester... we're going to start doing vocalizes from the top moving down, instead of the many bottom-moving-upwards exercises we've been doing.

It looks like basically my problem is that I have almost no real 'middle' connection, which I sort of already knew but I didn't realize how huge of a problem it was. When I'm singing ascending, I drag my chest voice up. When I sing right in it, it's an unstable, unreliable sound a lot of the time because I just don't know how to navigate that area.


It's sort of frustrating, particularly because I just got those five baritone arias to learn... and I feel like now there may be a tiny question mark attached to my fach.

Particularly in my last few recordings from my lessons I don't sound like a baritone, at least not to me. When I sing in a lighter, easier way I sound EXTREMELY tenoral. At least to me. I thought that it sounded icky and weak, but my teacher kept saying, "No, it sounds beautiful." And after I thought about it, then went back and re-listened to the recording, I realized that it's not a bad sound it's just not what I was expecting to hear from myself.

I know we're comparing apples and oranges here, but I have two friends who are lyric baritones, one who is a year older than I am, and one who is two years younger, and both have a MUCH darker and heavier sound than I do even when they sing very 'lightly'. Frankly every lyric baritone that I've heard seems to have more weight to their voice than I do.


So... I mean it's always possible I just don't have a good operatic instrument, or maybe I'm just going through a developmental phase where my voice is going to sound very light for a while.

Either way, nothing to do but plough on forwards and work hard.

[Voronwen]

Are you singing anything lately? I know your life is super stressful right now, so I imagine singing is probably one of the last thing on your mind.

Indeed. In fact at this point i don't even know whether i will go back to it. It seems pointless. At least from the classical standpoint. I made the decision a long time ago already that i did not want that kind of career. I got an offer to be part of a local professional choir for the Christmas season, and turned it down. I just can't bring myself to do it right now.

If i do anything with music again, i'll be refocusing my attention on Celtic music. I know, we've had that discussion, but i wouldn't be going it alone. I have connections through family members (including instrumentalists and songwriters) with the local Christian music scene. There is a dreadful dearth of Celtic-style music for Christians, so this is an unfilled niche that i am considering for the eventual future. Once things settle, i'll know more. But i feel that all the classical training was, thankfully, a good foundation to prepare me for this kind of endeavor.

We were talking about the wide range of arias, and she say, slowing down as she spoke, "So... I guess I gave you a really... wide... selections of arias. Uh... I guess eventually we'll want to narrow that down into an actual fach. But for now lets just play around!"

It's good that your teachers are not immediately herding you into a fach. I can't count the many times i've been misled by this, even up to the present day (if you can believe it, i had someone hear me again recently and say, "Oh you're definitely a coloratura!" ). People will always have preconcieved notions about your fach when they hear you. I've learned that the best thing you can do is trust your intuition on this, especially if, like me, you wind up with a voice that cannot be easily categorized. I just say light-lyric soprano and leave it at that. It's not only what i've been 'diagnosed' as most often through the years, but it also denotes a voice that can go either way into either the lyric or coloratura repertiore and, depending on the piece, fit just as nicely one way or the other.

But since i won't be dealing much more with the classical music world, i can finally be free of all the labels. I also had to get over the stifling idea that i was "wasting my talent" if i did not use my voice and all its range to its utmost for classical music. I can finally be free of that mindset and embrace the fact that the more true mindset in my heart is that i would rather use music to get a message across and bring peace to others, instead of being bound by guilt to use it a certain way else it's "going to waste". I'm done with living under that burden musically. Everyone has to find their own vision for how they are supposed to use their gift. This probably has nothing to do with you, i just wanted to share.

It's sort of frustrating, particularly because I just got those five baritone arias to learn... and I feel like now there may be a tiny question mark attached to my fach.

Particularly in my last few recordings from my lessons I don't sound like a baritone, at least not to me. When I sing in a lighter, easier way I sound EXTREMELY tenoral. At least to me. I thought that it sounded icky and weak, but my teacher kept saying, "No, it sounds beautiful." And after I thought about it, then went back and re-listened to the recording, I realized that it's not a bad sound it's just not what I was expecting to hear from myself.

I know we're comparing apples and oranges here, but I have two friends who are lyric baritones, one who is a year older than I am, and one who is two years younger, and both have a MUCH darker and heavier sound than I do even when they sing very 'lightly'. Frankly every lyric baritone that I've heard seems to have more weight to their voice than I do.

How interesting! You may end up being a tenor yet. Perhaps you aren't a baritone, but a heavier type of tenor. I knew a singer who trained as a baritone when he was your age but ultimately wound up as a Wagnerian tenor! All i can say on this is, be patient. The voice will reveal itself in time.

So... I mean it's always possible I just don't have a good operatic instrument, or maybe I'm just going through a developmental phase where my voice is going to sound very light for a while.

It's normal for the voice to go through periods of transition. You may be transitioning to a new fach, or just going through a growth spurt vocally. Both are very normal and will happen throughout your lifetime. In no way do these things mean that you "don't have a good operatic instrument". If you have talent enough to have come as far as you have, and the work ethics to continue to develop it - both of which i know you have - then all you need to do is continue onward.

[Tessar]

Originally Posted by Voronwen

If i do anything with music again, i'll be refocusing my attention on Celtic music. I know, we've had that discussion, but i wouldn't be going it alone. I have connections through family members (including instrumentalists and songwriters) with the local Christian music scene. There is a dreadful dearth of Celtic-style music for Christians, so this is an unfilled niche that i am considering for the eventual future. Once things settle, i'll know more. But i feel that all the classical training was, thankfully, a good foundation to prepare me for this kind of endeavor.

How could anyone call that a waste!? I -adore- Celtic music. I love Moya Brennan, Enya, Loreena McKennitt and -all- of that folk-music/Celtic tradition. And the classical training will certainly not have been a waste of your time... Loreena, from what I understand, trained as an operatic Mezzo-soprano for five years while she was younger.

How interesting! You may end up being a tenor yet. Perhaps you aren't a baritone, but a heavier type of tenor. I knew a singer who trained as a baritone when he was your age but ultimately wound up as a Wagnerian tenor! All i can say on this is, be patient. The voice will reveal itself in time.

If I am a tenor, it is not a heavy tenor voice... it would be more like a lyric tenor. But I'm not sure about that, and I talked to my teacher today and she is convinced that I'm a baritone at least for the moment... and she has an inkling that I will probably remain in or very near that fach.

I went into her office for a few minutes today to sing for her, because last night when I couldn't sleep I tried singing a few times and I realized that I could sing much more lightly than I have been.

When I sang that way for her, she told me that it's how I need to be singing and told me that it's basically what she's been trying to get me to do all semester... only she never told me that I had to take all of the 'weight' out of my voice. It sounds really wimpy to me, and I know it's definitely a -very- light sound, but it also sounds very free and easy and it's easier to produce as well.

She said that for now I just need to use that light sound, and once I can sing freely into my upper register without any of the weight -then- we'll start coloring the voice and making it a little darker.

She's thinking I'm going to end up being a -very- light baritone voice... as she put it, I will probably end up being the lightest possible of lyric baritone voices. But so long as it's right, and I can get hired, I don't really care what the fach is. I just want to do it right.

I did the lighter singing for a friend of mine, and she said that it's definitely a very light sound but she liked it much better and said it sounded much easier and more free than my usual way of singing. Then I did it for my sister and the first thing she said was, "that sounds like it's completely out of your throat, and the old way sounds like it's still 'stuck' in the throat a little bit." Which I thought was a very telling thing for her to say, considering that she doesn't know much about the voice... so for her 'untrained' ear to pick up on that is probably a really good sign.

And you know what... like I said to my friend, if I end up not having an operatic voice I will be happy singing whatever. Jazz, pop, musical theater... whatever gets me hired and lets me sing and perform will make me very happy. I'd love for it to be opera, but hey... whatever works.

[Earniel]

Originally Posted by Voronwen

But since i won't be dealing much more with the classical music world, i can finally be free of all the labels. I also had to get over the stifling idea that i was "wasting my talent" if i did not use my voice and all its range to its utmost for classical music. I can finally be free of that mindset and embrace the fact that the more true mindset in my heart is that i would rather use music to get a message across and bring peace to others, instead of being bound by guilt to use it a certain way else it's "going to waste". I'm done with living under that burden musically. Everyone has to find their own vision for how they are supposed to use their gift. This probably has nothing to do with you, i just wanted to share.

Now with this, I can definitely agree, and I think it goes for all fields and talents, not just the musical ones. It's okay to be ambitious, and sometimes you really need people to encourage you to reach a next level, but sometimes you need to be able to say: "Okay, I've made it to here, this suits me, I don't need to do more to be satisfied."

[Voronwen]

Originally Posted by Tessar

How could anyone call that a waste!? I -adore- Celtic music. I love Moya Brennan, Enya, Loreena McKennitt and -all- of that folk-music/Celtic tradition. And the classical training will certainly not have been a waste of your time... Loreena, from what I understand, trained as an operatic Mezzo-soprano for five years while she was younger.

Did she? How cool! I love all of those artists, too. And, i don't think it's a waste at all. I just needed to stop listening to what other people thought i should be doing with it. It's my voice, and it really doesn't matter whether they will miss it in classical music or miss my high E's. What others wish i was doing or think i should be doing with my voice is not my problem.

If I am a tenor, it is not a heavy tenor voice... it would be more like a lyric tenor.

That would be a whole new world!

She said that for now I just need to use that light sound, and once I can sing freely into my upper register without any of the weight -then- we'll start coloring the voice and making it a little darker.

She's thinking I'm going to end up being a -very- light baritone voice... as she put it, I will probably end up being the lightest possible of lyric baritone voices. But so long as it's right, and I can get hired, I don't really care what the fach is. I just want to do it right.

A light baritone voice, like lighter voices in any fach, can find a nice niche in oratorio work. You would also have options in other genres, like musical theater.

I did the lighter singing for a friend of mine, and she said that it's definitely a very light sound but she liked it much better and said it sounded much easier and more free than my usual way of singing. Then I did it for my sister and the first thing she said was, "that sounds like it's completely out of your throat, and the old way sounds like it's still 'stuck' in the throat a little bit." Which I thought was a very telling thing for her to say, considering that she doesn't know much about the voice... so for her 'untrained' ear to pick up on that is probably a really good sign.

Yes! This might be the breakthrough you've been waiting for where vocal freedom is concerned.

Sometimes a fach change makes all the difference in the world. If you do end up being a tenor, this could also explain why you have felt at times as if you are "behind" other singers at your level. I've heard of this happening with girls who were training as mezzos who turned out to actually be sopranos. These voices really take off once they're enlightened as to their soprano-ness. You might be in the same position, respectively.

And you know what... like I said to my friend, if I end up not having an operatic voice I will be happy singing whatever. Jazz, pop, musical theater... whatever gets me hired and lets me sing and perform will make me very happy. I'd love for it to be opera, but hey... whatever works.

Any voice can be 'operatic' or not. Technique is technique, and the voice works the same way physiologically no matter what style you're singing. The main difference between opera and other styles, even somewhat-classical styles, is really about diction and, even more, the height of the soft palette. When i am singing a Celtic song, i am still using the technique i've always used, but, it's freer. The diction can be a bit more relaxed, and the palette doesn't need to be held so very high at all times. Of course, it can still be a "classical" sound governed mostly by head voice, but it's not what most would consider to be "operatic". And that's ok. And sometimes for lighter voices, this is actually best.

Are you doing any crossover in your lessons? Or just on your own? Maybe sing through some tenor musical theater songs in practice just to see how they fit? Most musical theater roles for tenor and soprano don't sit quite as high as in opera, and don't have the same extreme range demands (though i will maintain, the classical training is a great background and certainly helps!). Perhaps this might be a fun experiment?

[Gwaimir Windgem]

If I am a tenor, it is not a heavy tenor voice... it would be more like a lyric tenor.

Does that mean like Ian Bostridge?

[Tessar]

Originally Posted by Gwaimir Windgem

Does that mean like Ian Bostridge?

Yeah. Ian Bostridge would probably be classified as a lyric, although as far as I'm aware he has never done any actual opera... his entire career is based around recording/performing sets and art song, which is pretty cool IMO. He's a wonderful tenor, although I can't watch him because I swear every vein and tendon on his neck is trying to pop off some times. You wouldn't suspect it to hear him, though.

Originally Posted by Voronwen

Did she? How cool! I love all of those artists, too. And, i don't think it's a waste at all. I just needed to stop listening to what other people thought i should be doing with it. It's my voice, and it really doesn't matter whether they will miss it in classical music or miss my high E's. What others wish i was doing or think i should be doing with my voice is not my problem.

The classical world has a plethora of sopranos who can hit a perfectly lovely High E. You gotta do what YOU want to do!! And there is absolutely nothing to say that you can't incorporate some of those high notes into celtic music as backup harmony or something equally interesting.

You would also have options in other genres, like musical theater.

That's part of what I'm thinking might be a possibility, particularly if I really can learn to use that A4. A lot of 'tenor' broadway roles would open up for me.

Yes! This might be the breakthrough you've been waiting for where vocal freedom is concerned.

I think it might be. Right now I'm 'fighting' years of ingrained habit to sing heavily, and even as much lighter as I have been making my voice this semester... this is something totally different. It feels like singing 'off the voice', but I don't think it is because it's not breathy, and I feel like I can 'support' the sound (also my larynx doesn't pop up on the higher notes, which it would if I were singing off the voice). The timbre is actually pretty pleasant, now that I'm not expecting it to be a dark, rolling baritone sound.

I really think the reason I couldn't sing any 'lighter' before now is because subconsciously I was trying to turn it into that dark baritone sound... which just isn't what my voice is meant to be doing right now. Now everything works pretty smoothly if I pretend that I'm a soprano... I know it sounds silly . I think to myself, "if I were a soprano with a really bright voice, how would I sing this phrase?" and interestingly it comes out sounding nice, and not at all as if I'm trying to sing in a 'bright' or 'high' voice.

Are you doing any crossover in your lessons? Or just on your own? Maybe sing through some tenor musical theater songs in practice just to see how they fit? Most musical theater roles for tenor and soprano don't sit quite as high as in opera, and don't have the same extreme range demands (though i will maintain, the classical training is a great background and certainly helps!). Perhaps this might be a fun experiment?

I told my teacher that next semester, after my Jan 22nd audition (assuming I can even get myself prepared for that), I want to try some musical theater stuff.

[Gwaimir Windgem]

Originally Posted by Tessar

Yeah. Ian Bostridge would probably be classified as a lyric, although as far as I'm aware he has never done any actual opera... his entire career is based around recording/performing sets and art song, which is pretty cool IMO.

I know he's done recordings of operas; he sings the male leads on Emmanuelle Haim's recordings of L'Orfeo and Dido and Aeneas, and I believe he's recorded some Britten operas, as well. He may well have never done live opera, though!

He's a wonderful tenor, although I can't watch him because I swear every vein and tendon on his neck is trying to pop off some times. You wouldn't suspect it to hear him, though.

I know what you mean! It's all I could do to watch this without laughing! I do have to say, I love him though. Probably my favourite tenor, actually. Of course, the fact he has a doctorate (and wrote his dissertation on witchcraft!) doesn't hurt.

[Voronwen]

Originally Posted by Tessar

And there is absolutely nothing to say that you can't incorporate some of those high notes into celtic music as backup harmony or something equally interesting.

I've been considering that possibility myself It could make for something interesting, indeed.

That's part of what I'm thinking might be a possibility, particularly if I really can learn to use that A4. A lot of 'tenor' broadway roles would open up for me.

And that's quite a lot of stuff!

Right now I'm 'fighting' years of ingrained habit to sing heavily, and even as much lighter as I have been making my voice this semester... this is something totally different. It feels like singing 'off the voice', but I don't think it is because it's not breathy, and I feel like I can 'support' the sound (also my larynx doesn't pop up on the higher notes, which it would if I were singing off the voice). The timbre is actually pretty pleasant, now that I'm not expecting it to be a dark, rolling baritone sound.

How exciting!! I love hearing about breakthroughs. Yay!

I really think the reason I couldn't sing any 'lighter' before now is because subconsciously I was trying to turn it into that dark baritone sound... which just isn't what my voice is meant to be doing right now. Now everything works pretty smoothly if I pretend that I'm a soprano... I know it sounds silly . I think to myself, "if I were a soprano with a really bright voice, how would I sing this phrase?" and interestingly it comes out sounding nice, and not at all as if I'm trying to sing in a 'bright' or 'high' voice.

Isn't it wonderful to just let the voice take you wherever it's going to take you?

[Tessar]

Huh, well I've played around with some different things... singing 'lighter', 'brighter', 'off the top of the head', 'in front of the mouth', and none of those things really seems to work very well but somehow imagining that I'm a soprano seems to be working. I know it sounds totally crazy, but somehow it works. I guess because in my head there's no 'weight' to a good soprano sound... I really think of Barbara Bonney's voice a lot while I'm singing.

I half wonder if it also has something to do with the fact that I wanted to be a soprano for so long, and a part of me still wishes I could sing that rep. Maybe it's part psychological and it just fulfills some inner desire if I imagine I'm a soprano. It makes me very happy to pretend that I'm singing and making soprano sounds... Who knows? Over the last month or so I've just given in to the realization that I am a very, very weird person in some ways. This may be one of them.

We'll see what my teacher says tomorrow. I may be -way- off base, but hopefully it's still headed in the right direction.

[Tessar]

I had a talk with my teacher today, discussing my vocal progress. I asked her if she thinks I need to change majors so that I have more time for my voice to mature (or if I should just switch majors and consider music a hobby). I felt like I needed to ask because we keep 'fixing' things, and I'll be totally solid on them, then we'll fix something else and either something that was working fine will fall apart, or something we had fixed will become a problem again. I don't feel like I can live without performing, but I know sometimes you just have to be realistic.

I was actually very surprised by what she said. She thinks that my instrument itself is 'very beautiful' and she thinks that it's the "baritone version" of my friend (who won the regional Met. auditions) who has a beautiful, beautiful tenor voice. She said the only real difference between he and I is that he's got great technique by nature and I still don't have things figured out.

She wants me to give it another semester before I make any decisions. Part of the problem is that I apparently have an incredibly strong throat, so any tension that I hold in my throat at all can cut me off much more than it might for someone else... which is why I can make so much progress and still not be able to get my voice to do things that someone with less technique can. I've had three teachers tell me that now, so I guess it must be true.

If I don't make significant progress next semester she said I may need to think about changing majors. She's convinced that I'm going to have a 'lightbulb' moment and everything's going to click into place.

Apparently she was a lot like me, except that people actually told her several times that she would never be a singer (which luckily no one has actually said that to me)... and let me tell you, she has got -amazing- technique, and she's good enough to get hired professionally just based off of auditions and whatnot at big opera companies. So she's pretty dang amazing.

I guess that's encouraging. It's just frustrating to keep fixing things and then have something else fall apart and prevent me from singing as well as I feel like I should be. I've only got about two years left to get ready for grad schools.

Still... I should be grateful for the progress I've made. Today we vocalized a really solid A4 with vibrato (which previously there has been no vibrato), and she said the G4 was very nice, and the Ab was pretty decent. But unfortunately I still really can't sing above an F#, and even my E's and D's can be iffy... I still can't figure out how to 'lift off' of them all of the time. It's so frustrating... I know exactly what it feels like (it's like all of the weight drops off, and it almost feels like you're falling backwards but your voice is still moving up) but I can't make it happen all of the time.

She laughed when I told her during the vocalizing that I was pretending to be Barbara Bonney, but she said it seemed to be helping so I should keep doing it. Then she told me I wasn't allowed to wear anything strapless for my senior recital no matter who I was pretending to be .