all I ever needed to know in life.... - Page 2

Dolenloteiel · 09-20-2002, 08:03 PM

Great Thread, you guys. This is my Dad's "advice"

*Make sure your home is safe before you start bragging to Elves about it

* Don't get ash on a Hobbits Tomatoes

Lanelf · 09-21-2002, 03:22 AM

Hee hee hee! Funny!
*The shorter you are, the more you can eat! (hobbits...)
*Trusting any mysterious or evil people to stay dead is just asking for it.
Ermmm...These aren't very funny. I can't think of any more at the moment.

Lanelf.

Dolenloteiel · 09-21-2002, 10:44 AM

Galadriel, this is an awesome thread. I love reading some of these out loud to my fellow LOTR fanatics @ school. I thought up a few more in Health (the most interesting class, ya right) anyways here they are.

*Don't rush an Entmoot

*If you want to be late for dinner, go on an adventure

*If twelve dwarves an one wizard show up @ your door for tea, be ready for some major smoke rings.

galadriel · 09-21-2002, 05:08 PM

Well, *I* thought it was witty at the time... I'm glad to have clever people like you guys pitch in, because after the first few ideas, I went kind of braindead.

Off the top of my head, a couple more:

-If you're a bad guy, and somebody makes a good prophecy about your future, there's probably a catch.

-"Nobody tosses a dwarf!" (Yes, I know it's a movie quote, and I've been reading the books for years and years before the movie came out... but I just couldn't help myself!)

Dolenloteiel · 09-21-2002, 05:08 PM

I'm in love with this thread!! Galadriel, thank you thank you thank you!!! Here's another one

*If Half the Shire's been invited, then Half the Shire's going to experience some major hangovers the next day

osszie · 09-21-2002, 05:26 PM

- If galadriel give you a box containing a seed and dust, resist the urge to sneeze.

TinuvielChild · 09-25-2002, 10:50 PM

*Never insult an Elf Queen in front of one of her conquests

*Tengwar is the coolest script

*If someone tosses a shiny black globe from a tall tower and says DON'T TOUCH, resist the urge to look into it.

*Never tell Legolas that he's not the prettiest elf in the Fellowship (ok, that was a VSD thing, eh well)

*Lembas are God.

*Try and stay on good terms with the Valar

*Before giving up your immortality for a mortal, make sure you're really in love with them.

galadriel · 09-26-2002, 04:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by TinuvielChild
Lembas are God.

Well, actually... Tolkien said, or implied, that if you take LOTR allegorically then Lembas is holy communion. (Purely incidental, this, he certainly didn't recommend allegorical interpretations!) And communion, from a religious perspective, is the body and blood of Jesus. And Jesus, from a religious perspective, is God.
So lembas *is* God!
Yes, I know that I'm overanalyzing your words and making stupid logic jumps based on them. But it's so much FUN!

***Sister Golden Hair*** · 09-26-2002, 05:41 PM

Sorry to take so long about it galadriel. I have corrected the typo at your request.

galadriel · 09-26-2002, 07:44 PM

Thanks.

Jador · 09-26-2002, 08:08 PM

Never invite a guy called Melkor into your orchestra!

Never go to sleep under a Willow tree..unless there's a guy with a bright blue hat and yellow boots handy.

Never tell a bloke called Hurin any of your secrets.

And Never..Ever..dis Galadriel whilst in the same room as me...(or Gimli)

***Khamûl*** · 09-26-2002, 11:25 PM

Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger.

Never underestimate what a cross-dressing, suicidal, determined woman is capable of.

BeardofPants · 09-26-2002, 11:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Khamûl
Never underestimate what a cross-dressing, suicidal, determined woman is capable of.

Hehe!

Lefty Scaevola · 09-27-2002, 09:46 AM

Do not focus exclusively on the beautiful shield maiden when there is a sneaky little kneebiter hobbit with a Duadan blade skulking around.

Mainten a reasonable guard around critical important, such as the CRack Of Doom.

Do not dally in Elven controlled rivers.

Although pilows and bolsters may resemble hobbits, they are not the same.

Do not sit down on Elven Blades.

When the elite marching squard of Morgoth's spells out in giant letters "Trap is here, please enter and die" use a different plan of approach and battle.

Sparky · 09-29-2002, 12:09 AM

Beware of Dark Lords bearing gifts. They aren't just being nice. There's a catch

Rings are dangerous

Don't trust family hierlooms. They may have been created by a Dark Lord.

Never piss off a Dark Lord.

if you're going to do anything invovling large spiders, have your Balrog Search & Rescue Team ready (I saw that one on another site)

In fact, don't do anything involving large spiders. They may try to steal your jewels and eat you.

Pity can save the world

Never underestimate the power of short people

If a dragon talks, don't listen

Incest is bad

Jewels can cause family feuds

Stay on good terms w/ the Valar. When they get piss, THEY GET PISSED

If the jewel hurts you, get rid of it.

tharkun27 · 09-29-2002, 12:26 AM

In water there lives yet the echo of the music of the gods more than in any substance else that is in this Earth:and many hearken still unsated to the voices of the sea, and yet know not for what they listen.

Rána Eressëa · 09-29-2002, 02:50 PM

-- Never swing your axe at an Orc's neck without checking for an iron collar.

-- Love the forest. Praise the forest. Embrace the forest.

-- Wild men good folk.

-- Just because a person is 4 feet tall doesn't mean he isn't 28 years old.

-- Never wear gold rings. If you throw them in the fire and fiery red letters glow on them, do NOT wear them. If they melt, well, you can't wear them then anyways, can ya?

-- When walking in a forest, hold your breath. Otherwise someone might shoot you in the dark.

-- Rope is your friend.

-- Eagles are rare, but good forms of transportation.

-- Just because he looks dead, doesn't mean he is dead.

-- Do not trust slimy creatures who refer to themselves as "we".

-- If the only place your ultimate weapon could be destroyed was in your own realm, block all entrances.

The Ringbearer · 10-01-2002, 01:35 AM

These are GREAT!!! Muchas gracias, Galadriel!

*Don't be hasty...
*If your sword glows, run for the nearest wizard or Ranger, and cling to their legs, whilst screaming at the top of your lungs.

O.K. The last one isn't such good advice, but I'm new at this!

Lanelf · 10-01-2002, 02:01 AM

Quote:

*If your sword glows, run for the nearest wizard or Ranger, and cling to their legs, whilst screaming at the top of your lungs.

LOL Ringbearer! Can't you just imagine the hobbits all grabbing Strider's legs and acting like little kids: "Mr Strider! The bad people are trying to kill us! Lookit! They're so ugly!"

Not meaning to be nasty to any hobbits or hobbit-friends (like Elf-Friends, but different), but that would be soooo funny!

Lanelf.

Nariel · 10-02-2002, 02:40 PM

*Balrogs= bad news
*If you're losing to orcs and they run, may you should, too
*If in doubt, hug a tree. Or talk to it.

09-20-2002, 08:03 PM	#21
Dolenloteiel I elenfea Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Somewhere in the chaos between the first and second ages! (Actually, CO) Posts: 556	Great Thread, you guys. This is my Dad's "advice" Make sure your home is safe before you start bragging to Elves about it Don't get ash on a Hobbits Tomatoes __________________ "Middle Earth is a real place. And it is New Zealand." Sir Ian McKellan **************************** QUESTION AUTHORITY Ask me anything ************************** "I have not failed, I've only found 10,000 ways that won't work." -Thomas Edison ************************** Visit Tolkien RP Site! Need members, RP all three Ages! (UNDER CONSTRUCTION) http://elvellon.suddenlaunch2.com **************************** "Yay, I can hear the voices in my head again!

09-21-2002, 03:22 AM	#22
Lanelf Elven Warrior Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: The Second Drawer Down Posts: 407	Hee hee hee! Funny! The shorter you are, the more you can eat! (hobbits...) Trusting any mysterious or evil people to stay dead is just asking for it. Ermmm...These aren't very funny. I can't think of any more at the moment. Lanelf. __________________ Hey, I'm back! resounding silence You didn't even notice I was gone, did you? Well, I'm back now anyway. Artemis Fowl must find Mulch Diggums! You'll never shut down the real Napster

09-21-2002, 10:44 AM	#23
Dolenloteiel I elenfea Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Somewhere in the chaos between the first and second ages! (Actually, CO) Posts: 556	Galadriel, this is an awesome thread. I love reading some of these out loud to my fellow LOTR fanatics @ school. I thought up a few more in Health (the most interesting class, ya right) anyways here they are. Don't rush an Entmoot If you want to be late for dinner, go on an adventure If twelve dwarves an one wizard show up @ your door for tea, be ready for some major smoke rings. __________________ "Middle Earth is a real place. And it is New Zealand." Sir Ian McKellan *************************** QUESTION AUTHORITY Ask me anything ************************** "I have not failed, I've only found 10,000 ways that won't work." -Thomas Edison ************************** Visit Tolkien RP Site! Need members, RP all three Ages! (UNDER CONSTRUCTION) http://elvellon.suddenlaunch2.com **************************** "Yay, I can hear the voices in my head again!

09-21-2002, 05:08 PM	#24
galadriel Elven Warrior Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: a castle made of clouds Posts: 459	Well, I thought it was witty at the time... I'm glad to have clever people like you guys pitch in, because after the first few ideas, I went kind of braindead. Off the top of my head, a couple more: -If you're a bad guy, and somebody makes a good prophecy about your future, there's probably a catch. -"Nobody tosses a dwarf!" (Yes, I know it's a movie quote, and I've been reading the books for years and years before the movie came out... but I just couldn't help myself!) __________________ Human kind cannot bear very much reality. dreamflower - for all things Lady Galadriel

09-21-2002, 05:08 PM	#25
Dolenloteiel I elenfea Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Somewhere in the chaos between the first and second ages! (Actually, CO) Posts: 556	I'm in love with this thread!! Galadriel, thank you thank you thank you!!! Here's another one If Half the Shire's been invited, then Half the Shire's going to experience some major hangovers the next day __________________ "Middle Earth is a real place. And it is New Zealand." Sir Ian McKellan *************************** QUESTION AUTHORITY Ask me anything ************************** "I have not failed, I've only found 10,000 ways that won't work." -Thomas Edison ************************** Visit Tolkien RP Site! Need members, RP all three Ages! (UNDER CONSTRUCTION) http://elvellon.suddenlaunch2.com **************************** "Yay, I can hear the voices in my head again!

09-21-2002, 05:26 PM	#26
osszie Elven Warrior Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 409	- If galadriel give you a box containing a seed and dust, resist the urge to sneeze.

09-25-2002, 10:50 PM	#27
TinuvielChild Padawan Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: The Barony of Carolingia Posts: 2,176	Never insult an Elf Queen in front of one of her conquests Tengwar is the coolest script If someone tosses a shiny black globe from a tall tower and says DON'T TOUCH, resist the urge to look into it. Never tell Legolas that he's not the prettiest elf in the Fellowship (ok, that was a VSD thing, eh well) Lembas are God. Try and stay on good terms with the Valar Before giving up your immortality for a mortal, make sure you're really in love with them. __________________ There are only four questions of value in life: What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for? What is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same: ONLY LOVE. Dance as though nobody's watching. Sing as though nobody's listening. Dream as though you'll live forever. Live as though you'll die tomorrow. EIDRIORCQWSDAKLMEDDCWWTIWOATTOPWFIO and proud! FRODO LIVES!!!!!*

09-26-2002, 05:41 PM	#29
*Sister Golden Hair* Queen of Nargothrond Administrator Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Akron, Ohio - USA Posts: 7,121	Typo corrected Sorry to take so long about it galadriel. I have corrected the typo at your request.

09-26-2002, 07:44 PM	#30
galadriel Elven Warrior Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: a castle made of clouds Posts: 459	Thanks. __________________ Human kind cannot bear very much reality. dreamflower - for all things Lady Galadriel

09-26-2002, 08:08 PM	#31
Jador Elven Warrior Join Date: May 2002 Location: The Land of my Fathers. Posts: 184	Never invite a guy called Melkor into your orchestra! Never go to sleep under a Willow tree..unless there's a guy with a bright blue hat and yellow boots handy. Never tell a bloke called Hurin any of your secrets. And Never..Ever..dis Galadriel whilst in the same room as me...(or Gimli) __________________ 'Some who have read the book.. have found it boring,absurd or contemptible;and I have no cause to complain,since I have similar opinions of thier works...'-JRRT 'If he wins back to the caves,he will pass your count again... Never did I see an axe so wielded'-Aragorn

09-26-2002, 11:25 PM	#32
*Khamûl* Slacker Warrior Admin Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Alabama Posts: 2,759	Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger. Never underestimate what a cross-dressing, suicidal, determined woman is capable of. __________________ "If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you." Gandalf to Pippin Psalm 107:31

09-27-2002, 09:46 AM	#34
Lefty Scaevola AngAdan Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Boerne, Texas Posts: 856	Do not focus exclusively on the beautiful shield maiden when there is a sneaky little kneebiter hobbit with a Duadan blade skulking around. Mainten a reasonable guard around critical important, such as the CRack Of Doom. Do not dally in Elven controlled rivers. Although pilows and bolsters may resemble hobbits, they are not the same. Do not sit down on Elven Blades. When the elite marching squard of Morgoth's spells out in giant letters "Trap is here, please enter and die" use a different plan of approach and battle. __________________ Gaius Mucius Scaevola Older, richer, and wiser than you "Mighty are the Ainur, and mightiest among them is Melkor, but that he may know, and all the Ainur, that I am Iluvatar, those things that ye have sung, I will show them forth, ... And thou, Melkor, shalt see that no theme may be played that hath not its uttermost source in me,"

09-29-2002, 12:09 AM	#35
Sparky Sapling Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: the firey underworld Posts: 11	Beware of Dark Lords bearing gifts. They aren't just being nice. There's a catch Rings are dangerous Don't trust family hierlooms. They may have been created by a Dark Lord. Never piss off a Dark Lord. if you're going to do anything invovling large spiders, have your Balrog Search & Rescue Team ready (I saw that one on another site) In fact, don't do anything involving large spiders. They may try to steal your jewels and eat you. Pity can save the world Never underestimate the power of short people If a dragon talks, don't listen Incest is bad Jewels can cause family feuds Stay on good terms w/ the Valar. When they get piss, THEY GET PISSED If the jewel hurts you, get rid of it. __________________ I am an exception Ni!!!! That rabbit's dynamite!!!

09-29-2002, 12:26 AM	#36
tharkun27 Sapling Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: ny Posts: 14	In water there lives yet the echo of the music of the gods more than in any substance else that is in this Earth:and many hearken still unsated to the voices of the sea, and yet know not for what they listen.

09-29-2002, 02:50 PM	#37
Rána Eressëa The Rogue Elf Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 1,722	-- Never swing your axe at an Orc's neck without checking for an iron collar. -- Love the forest. Praise the forest. Embrace the forest. -- Wild men good folk. -- Just because a person is 4 feet tall doesn't mean he isn't 28 years old. -- Never wear gold rings. If you throw them in the fire and fiery red letters glow on them, do NOT wear them. If they melt, well, you can't wear them then anyways, can ya? -- When walking in a forest, hold your breath. Otherwise someone might shoot you in the dark. -- Rope is your friend. -- Eagles are rare, but good forms of transportation. -- Just because he looks dead, doesn't mean he is dead. -- Do not trust slimy creatures who refer to themselves as "we". -- If the only place your ultimate weapon could be destroyed was in your own realm, block all entrances. Last edited by Rána Eressëa : 10-02-2002 at 08:31 PM.

10-01-2002, 01:35 AM	#38
The Ringbearer Elven Warrior Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Crickhollow in the summer, and Rivendell in the winter Posts: 397	These are GREAT!!! Muchas gracias, Galadriel! Don't be hasty... If your sword glows, run for the nearest wizard or Ranger, and cling to their legs, whilst screaming at the top of your lungs. O.K. The last one isn't such good advice, but I'm new at this! __________________ 'Go away, and never come back!!' '......what?' 'But you're a part of this world! Aren't you?' Frodo lives!

10-02-2002, 02:40 PM	#40
Nariel Elven Warrior Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: In the custody of the Knights who say "Ni!" They want a shrubbery. Posts: 365	Balrogs= bad news If you're losing to orcs and they run, may you should, too *If in doubt, hug a tree. Or talk to it. __________________ I'M NOT A PIRATE! I'M A REDISTRIBUTION ECONOMIST! Marketing Supervisor and Everything Girl for Entmoot's "Lord of the Rings" Avatar Courtesy of "Ye Olde Avatare Shoppe" Sounds like a job for... UBERGEEK!" (special thanks to Finrod Felagund!) I try to make everyone's day a bit more surreal. Funny Error Messages... "Cannot find REALITY.SYS...Universe Halted." "Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue..." "Bad Command or File Name. Good try, though." "WARNING: Keyboard Not Attached. Press F10 to Continue." "I have a spelling checker It came with my PC; It plainly marks four my revue Mistakes I cannot sea. I've run this poem threw it, I'm sure your pleased too no, Its letter perfect in it's weigh, My checker tolled me sew." -Janet Minor "A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila." "There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence."

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