04-10-2002, 11:49 PM | #21 |
Elven Warrior
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: IL (or from mist world)
Posts: 261
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Nice lectures Hobbit and Jeresydevil, I was about to fall alseep.(jk.) But u guys are right.
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04-11-2002, 12:03 AM | #22 |
I am Freddie/UNDERCOVER/ Founder of The Great Continent of Entmoot
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Plainsboro, NJ
Posts: 9,431
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HOBBIT - I agree with a lot of what you said. But a lot of times - a person just wants to vent about a problem. Of course there was the venting thread somewhere out there.
The problem with posting a personal problem on Entmoot is that as soon as you do, it becomes public. If the next day you wake up and go - "I really wish I didn't say that" there is no real way of turning back. It may change the way people on entmoot "look" at you. You may be ashamed of having posted your problem out there for everyone to see. I know I've posted things that I wish I hadn't said - of course most people probably have. Unless you meet people on Entmoot outside of Entmoot and develop a TRUE friendship - no one really knows each other here. This is only a small subset of anyone's life. At least I think for the majority of people it is. People on the net only let people see the side they want people to see. Also - what you type and say can distort people's view of you. There are "help" sites out there on the net. Some geared specifially toward teens. If you have a problem - it may be better to get involved with one of those sites for those kind of things. They may be able to help out a lot better than people on Entmoot.
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04-11-2002, 06:18 AM | #23 | |
Elf Lord
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Valinor, right next to Telperion . . . what did you expect, Michigan?
Posts: 1,315
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Ignore this post
Quote:
They certainly know me better than a psychiatrist who I've never heard of until I walk into his/her office. I can't talk to people I don't know. With all the time I spend on the Moot, you guys know me better than many of my friends at school. I like you guys, and I trust you. I can understand where personal messages might bug you I guess . . . but can't you understand how much I have to trust you - not trust that you're not stalkers, but trust you as people to not laugh at me. The reason no one knows me is I don't trust like that often. I know that my thread is indeed one of the ones you've got a problem with . . . Sorry. If it's that much of a problem, you can go close it. I'm not making any sense. I'm tired and ranting . . . not good combo. I apologize once more for this post, which I will read in a few hours and wonder what I'm doing on Entmoot if I make this little sense. Sorry again. Later edit: I think I'm going to stay away from this thread for a while. I'm kind of upset right now, and as Jerseydevil said, I don't wanna say anything I regret.
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04-11-2002, 10:59 AM | #24 | ||
Queen of Nargothrond
Administrator Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Akron, Ohio - USA
Posts: 7,121
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Re: Ignore this post
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04-11-2002, 10:34 PM | #25 | |
Entwife
Join Date: Oct 1999
Location: louisville
Posts: 3,718
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I do not think that you can say since most people can not relate to a topic then it should not be posted in GM. There are plenty of threads in GM that wouldn't even affect 50% of the members here: vegetarian thread....percentage of vegetarians anywhere is less than 1/2. any thread on "band".....what maybe 10% of the members here are or have been in band. Ben's very personal threads about his band experiences, premiers he has attended, when he and his family are leaving his home.....now these are very personal in nature and really only affect him and his family. Do you think those should not be allowed also? What about Greg's thread telling of his grandfather's death? What I think (and this is only my opinion), is that you simply do not want to hear about other people's problems. Which is completely fine. But I do not think that we should make a rule about it or try to narrow what people can talk about here. In the past this forum as served as a catch all. We have always told everyone that no topic (within reason) is prohibited. Should we change that for what appears to me (again only my opinion) is a pet peeve of yours? Sorry, I just don't think people are being irresponsible about what info they are posting. |
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04-11-2002, 10:49 PM | #26 |
Cardboard Harp of Gondor Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: IM IN UR POSTZ, EDITIN' UR WURDZ
Posts: 6,433
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Hear hear anduin!
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04-12-2002, 11:29 AM | #27 | |||
Queen of Nargothrond
Administrator Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Akron, Ohio - USA
Posts: 7,121
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04-12-2002, 11:48 AM | #28 |
Elven Warrior
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: aisle 12, seat#2
Posts: 449
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I have been following this thread, with holding comment until I could see the whole picture. You know, not being hasty and all that... Generally, I skip over most of personal problem posts and head on out to threads which interest me. I suspect most folk do. I think, SGH has some valid points and a little bit of caution and self edditing could go a long way towards saving one from grief, embarassment, or worse.
We all have bad days and Entmoot may not be the best place to search for consoling. For me there are days this place is a real life saver. I don't air my problems here, well in part, so I can leave them behind and enjoy my time on the moot. These are my opinions and thanks to SGH for raising this important topic.
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04-12-2002, 12:32 PM | #29 |
Elf Lord
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: In my jeans
Posts: 915
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While we are on the subject of giving out personal information (well we were last time i looked), you can kind of tell who the carful ones are on that. I have put my name as captain James T Kirk but if anyone wants to know my first anme they can but not my last anme as all of us are related we are so rare. For instance one person has given out there full name address and everything!!! weird!
Oh and on the original topic, how personal is what you mean by personal??? Do you mean "I'm leaving" messages (cos they REALLY pee me off. If they were so desperate to leave then they wouldnt care what people said anyway) and "a quiz about you" thread (fun to do but i can see how it would be calssed as personal in a way) or just things like "My friend called me a ***** today. Anyone else been called that? what should i do bla bla bla bla"? And my vegetarian thread isnt a 'problem'!!! Vegetarianism is not classified as a personal PROBLEM!!!! *Bretahe, breathe, breathe. Strawberry considers that it was probably not meant to sound like that at all.hmm. yes.. i am being irrational* And anyway, most of you guys are admins anyway, can't you just shut them down if you think they are too personal or does Bmilder (not, mile - dur OR Mulder (I wish!!!)) not let you? Oh and HOBBIT? I know a TrisTAN. I like the name also and plan to call my son that. But he wont be my son. I shall adopt as stupid Eve managed to make childbirth painful, stupid farm animal. Ok now i'm just rambling on... um... thankyou. *strawberry steps down from speaking podium*
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04-12-2002, 12:42 PM | #30 |
Possessive Villain Fancier
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: On my ship, riding the waves YARR!
Posts: 2,008
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*claps for strawberry's speech*
I agree with SGH's concerns, that is all they are. She is not having a go at anyone. However, i feel now that if ppl want to discuss this then that is their chioce.
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04-12-2002, 01:14 PM | #31 | ||
Queen of Nargothrond
Administrator Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Akron, Ohio - USA
Posts: 7,121
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04-12-2002, 01:17 PM | #32 |
Elf Lord
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: In my jeans
Posts: 915
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ok cool. I agree. As long as my vegetarian thread isnt going to be closed down!!!
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04-12-2002, 01:34 PM | #33 | |
Queen of Nargothrond
Administrator Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Akron, Ohio - USA
Posts: 7,121
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04-12-2002, 02:13 PM | #34 |
I am Freddie/UNDERCOVER/ Founder of The Great Continent of Entmoot
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Plainsboro, NJ
Posts: 9,431
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I think someone wanting to discuss their parents getting divorced and trying to find out how others coped is fine IMO. I was a junior counselor at a camp and one of the kids I was in charge of - his parents were going through a heated divorce. They'd fight over him through letters and stuff. He'd read a note and run into the cabin and just cry. It's a very hard thing to go through and if someone can find people with similar experiences on the moot - I just can't see what it's hurting. My parents hadn't gotten divorced - so it was hard for me to understand completely. I did everything I could to help him.
People have problems - and sometimes all anyone wants is to see if someone has gone through the same thing and can give them some pointers on how to handle it. My mother died several years ago unexpectedly. None of my friends had ever gone through that experience. I would have liked to have been able to find someone that could have talked to me. I really needed to find someone at that time that could actually relate to what I was going through. Entmoot I feel is a community - beyond Tolkien. People should be allowed to discuss things that they are having a hard time with within a thread. In a way it's just like going to a coffee shop and meeting new people. The annonimity makes it easier to discuss problems though I think.
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04-12-2002, 03:26 PM | #35 |
Elf Lord
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: In my jeans
Posts: 915
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hmm now that raises a good point JD. Maybe instead of a forum there shouls be a thread for personal problems. Not a law against them, but people be encouraged to go on there if they need help or support. I'll start one if everyone agrees.
And i'm not getting at you SGH, I was just making my feelings known! And i was joking about the closing my thread down!
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04-12-2002, 03:45 PM | #36 | |
Saviour of Entmoot Admiral
Join Date: Nov 1999
Location: NC/NJ (no longer Same place as bmilder.)
Posts: 61,986
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Quote:
And you said that you know a TrisTAN. I hate it when people stress the tan. Oh well. Asumming thats a joke (putting in the TAN, not a joke about you knowing one..).. oh well. I'm just a silly hobbit
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04-12-2002, 03:53 PM | #37 |
Elf Lord
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: In my jeans
Posts: 915
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See! I knew i'd end up offending someone!!!
I'm reaaalllly sorry TRIStan!!! It's just I was pointing out the spelling. Not meaning to stress it. And please tell me how to pronounce you last name!!! I'm so confused!!!! I though it was mill - der. But obviously not from that post! I swear you said it wasnt Mile-dur! Anyway. Can I just call you Mulder? Tristan Mulder? Because its easier for me and gives me a slight claim to know an actual Mulder!!! Its ok if I cant. And I know what you mean with the annoyance of pronounciation! I have suffered the ultimate mispronounciation!!! I wont say my last name but lets just say it ended up an Alton Towers form to me as Emma Woodhead!!! My head is not wood!
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