The ''Dear Hector'' Advice Thread

[trolls' bane]

Originally Posted by rohirrim TR

Dear TB
will ferrell is a screenwriter and actor the only movies i can think of that he is in at the moment are "anchorman" and "bewitched".
and maybe you should talk to either hector or a shrink about your signature

"I AM the last Martian...Biggs, I'm going to kill you!"

[rohirrim TR]

Originally Posted by trolls' bane

"I AM the last Martian...Biggs, I'm going to kill you!"

r u going to kill him with EDUARDO or how about a more explosive touch EDDIE itself ha ha ha ah a ha ahah*coughs* where was I

[hectorberlioz]

No more Spamming! Lets get this back on track.
Make it serious people!

[rohirrim TR]

Originally Posted by hectorberlioz

No more Spamming! Lets get this back on track.
Make it serious people!

Dear hector
are you kidding? you want it serious?

[Lotesse]

Dear Hector,
http://www.ciadvertising.org/sa/fall...s4290/spam.gif

[Earniel]

You want it serious? Oooh, I can do that...

Dear Hector,

I do not know what is up with some men these days. While one is trying to marry off, another is proposing. And when I tried to explain I had no intention of doing so, one of them had the nerve to imply that my language was 'suggestive' and that I was proposing in the first place! And then we were only talking about my rather sketchy knowledge of classical music. Tsssk, I do not know where men get these ideas. Not to mention I found out he was also secretly proposing to somebody else behind my back.

So dear Hector, please be so kind to inform me how to tell this suitor I am in no way making advances?


Purposefully single Elf

[hectorberlioz]

Originally Posted by Eärniel

You want it serious? Oooh, I can do that...

Dear Hector,

I do not know what is up with some men these days. While one is trying to marry off, another is proposing. And when I tried to explain I had no intention of doing so, one of them had the nerve to imply that my language was 'suggestive' and that I was proposing in the first place! And then we were only talking about my rather sketchy knowledge of classical music. Tsssk, I do not know where men get these ideas. Not to mention I found out he was also secretly proposing to somebody else behind my back.

So dear Hector, please be so kind to inform me how to tell this suitor I am in no way making advances?


Purposefully single Elf

Dear Purposefully Pringle Elf,
Apperantly you are a very vain Elf! What makes you think that you, above all other elves has the capacity to assume what you're possibly thinking!!
How dare you assume that this man loves you! Let me tell you something honey, H.E. I.S. A J.E.R.K.
My thorough advice to you is to tell this man than even though he's a moron, a jerk, and a liar: that you forgive him. And hopefully he'll forgive you
Believe in yourelf

[trolls' bane]

Dear Hector,
Should I kill him with Eduardo or with this Ray Gun?
--Trying to Kill The Guy who Reminds me of Sam Parkhill and is from the same book.

[hectorberlioz]

Originally Posted by trolls' bane

Dear Hector,
Should I kill him with Eduardo or with this Ray Gun?
--Trying to Kill The Guy who Reminds me of Sam Parkhill and is from the same book.

Dear Kill,
Don't shoot me!

p.s. did you name your "Eduardo" after the composer Eduardo Lalo?



Dear Hector,
My brother "Bill", is into sports bigtime. I don't care much for sports though, and even though my Bill has asked me to watch his games I just can't bring myself to go. I feel really bad about it, but I really can't help it! I'm afraid that if I go, I'll be bore dand leave, and hurt my brother even more.
Please help me. My brother is my best friend.
-Loving Sister

Dear Loveless Sister,
What a great pal you are! [sarcasm alert]!
What kind of a moron are you that you won't even go to your brother's games! What the heck did your parents raise you on, sunflower seeds?
You need to really shape up or your brother could end up in a coma. Soon.
It's your responsibility to keep your brother from getting his feelings hurt his entire life. His Physigionamy is under your care...and you do THIS to him!

[rohirrim TR]

Dear hector
what would be the best method of execution for a droid?
signed
puzzled sith lord

[hectorberlioz]

Originally Posted by rohirrim TR

Dear hector
what would be the best method of execution for a droid?
signed
puzzled sith lord

Dear Sith,
To destroy a droid, you must first become a droid. And to become a droid you must become evil. Which you already are. So really, there's nothing to it.
Suit yourself up in armor, and stand in the shower enough to drench every foot of yourself, then go stand out in the elements for a few weeks. (Make sure the droid fixer-uppers come to fix you up properly).


Dear Hector
A strange thing happened to me recently. Ok, my sister broke my cd player, so I couldnt listen to my cds. I had to go with the radio...well, turns out the radio fuzzes no matter what way I fixed the antenna...however, the sound on the radio was just Perfect when I put my hands on it...but when I took my hand away, it fuzzed again. What's wrong with me?
-Really Weirded out Carole.

Dear Weirded,
What's so weird about your sister breaking your cd player? Happens to me all the time.
What makes you think you're so special just because you can communitcate with the radio? Eh? Don't tell me that you're one of those "I was abducted by aliens when I was two months old" kind of people. You need to start looking at yourself not just as normal, but plain....it sounds harsh,m but if that's what it takes to humble you, so be it.

[trolls' bane]

Originally Posted by hectorberlioz

Dear Sith,
To destroy a droid, you must first become a droid. And to become a droid you must become evil. Which you already are. So really, there's nothing to it.
Suit yourself up in armor, and stand in the shower enough to drench every foot of yourself, then go stand out in the elements for a few weeks. (Make sure the droid fixer-uppers come to fix you up properly).

Oh, that is SO much better than my idea of getting my arm chopped off by a jedi or running through a Martian dust storm without a protective or pressureized suit.

[rohirrim TR]

Originally Posted by hectorberlioz

Dear Sith,
To destroy a droid, you must first become a droid. And to become a droid you must become evil. Which you already are. So really, there's nothing to it.
Suit yourself up in armor, and stand in the shower enough to drench every foot of yourself, then go stand out in the elements for a few weeks. (Make sure the droid fixer-uppers come to fix you up properly).

dear hector
you sicken me
vengeful sith lord *stirring chili*

[trolls' bane]

Cher Fanfaron (Hector? ),
Vous semblez être le l'un vous renseigner sur un problème comme ceci. J'en ai assez de la Rhapsodie dans le Bleu, pourtant je ne peux pas obtenir assez. Je veux trouver la deuxième Rhapsodie que vous avez mentionnée si je pourrais avoir au moins un autre en avoir assez de, mais je ne pourrais pas le trouver même aux Etables et Noble.
--Les besoins pour découvrir qu'une Rhapsodie est et tue n'importe quel d'eux portant le bleu.

[rohirrim TR]

OMG admiral you never said you spoke french, BTW what did you say??

[Lotesse]

Dear Hector,
Why do I even bother?
Signed, Eeyore-Lotsy, from within a cynical raincloud of despondency

[trolls' bane]

Originally Posted by rohirrim TR

OMG admiral you never said you spoke french, BTW what did you say??

Ich spreche nicht nur Französisch, spreche ich Deutsch ebenso. Aber nicht wirklich. Ich benutze nur einen Übersetzer.

[rohirrim TR]

do you have a universal translator or something?? I live in the U.S and speak one language including english

[trolls' bane]

Originally Posted by rohirrim TR

do you have a universal translator or something?? I live in the U.S and speak one language including english

Jeg har en oversetter for åtte språk. Dette spesielle språket er Norsk.

Translation of above: I have a translator for eight languages. This particular language is Norwegian.

[rohirrim TR]

cool, *sheepishy grins* i knew that, you know, standard equipment for admirals and such