The stigma of childlessness?

[Earniel]

Originally Posted by inked

These things must be true, eh, in a book and internet news, not to mention the recent killings of Jews in the Netherlands and threats by militant Islamics against political figures? Or is it idle chatter from Italy to the Netherlands?

Recent killings of Jews?! ONE Jewish man was killed recently in Belgium and there are absolutely no clues leading to the murderer so there is NO EVIDENCE whatsoever that it was a muslim! I fear you have been dearly misinformed. The unprecedented threats to political leaders however did surge these last few weeks. However, as Starr Plish pointed out this is off topic.

So please stay on the topic at hand. Thank you.

[Nurvingiel]

This thread did go a little OT there... so I won't contibute by saying that article was a whole lot of rubbish. Oops.

Anyway...

Originally Posted by Starr Polish

Nurv - I'm quite aware that kids aren't all the same and I quite like some of them. I think it's more the thought of me being fully responsible for another human being for 18 years scares the crap out of me.

That's definitely fair, and you know, if you ever decide that you do want children, such an attitude will contribute to you being a responsible parent IMO.

Being responsible for someone for 18 very important years is the biggest responsibility I can think of. I will only undertake it when I think I can handle it - but is anyone every really ready?

It could also be argued that you're responsible for their entire lives. I mean, your adult children should be able to take care of themselves, but I would still lend a hand to them if they needed. And if my child had a disablility that made it that they weren't able to be completely responsible for themselves, I'd still take care of them too. But I think that probably applies to everyone.

[BeardofPants]

You know what puts me off having kids? Remembering what I was like when I was a little holy terror.... I didn't really grow out of it either.

Earniel, thanks for steering this back on topic. I DO NOT want this deviating off into another hijacked thread.

[sun-star]

I wonder if there's a stigma against 'child-ful-ness' as well. From my own observation, women who choose to have a large family or to stay at home with their children are looked on as somehow less intelligent, unambitious - or even brainwashed by men. I'm not old enough to know for sure what I will do with my life, but a family is a huge part of my future hopes, and I don't feel comfortable admitting that to women of my own age. I can't admit to them that I don't particularly care about having a career or living on my own, as long as my home life is happy. I know that I will have to work because I will need to support this (imaginary) family... but I don't know that I'd miss it if I didn't. I could even live without the "breakable objects stored at knee height and a pantry sadly lack in treats but happily full of vodka and gin" mentioned in the article I'm sure what the writer says about a stigma is true, but I think it cuts both ways.

I bet at least one person reading this has fallen off her chair and is about to ask in horror "are we living in the 1950's"? It's OK, I know this is heresy I've been yelled at for it before and now I pretend to be pining for a career in the law or something.

Everyone feels the need to justify their own choices, I suppose.

[Mercutio]

Originally Posted by sun-star

I wonder if there's a stigma against 'child-ful-ness' as well. From my own observation, women who choose to have a large family or to stay at home with their children are looked on as somehow less intelligent, unambitious - or even brainwashed by men. I'm not old enough to know for sure what I will do with my life, but a family is a huge part of my future hopes, and I don't feel comfortable admitting that to women of my own age. I can't admit to them that I don't particularly care about having a career or living on my own, as long as my home life is happy. I know that I will have to work because I will need to support this (imaginary) family... but I don't know that I'd miss it if I didn't. I could even live without the "breakable objects stored at knee height and a pantry sadly lack in treats but happily full of vodka and gin" mentioned in the article I'm sure what the writer says about a stigma is true, but I think it cuts both ways.

I bet at least one person reading this has fallen off her chair and is about to ask in horror "are we living in the 1950's"? It's OK, I know this is heresy I've been yelled at for it before and now I pretend to be pining for a career in the law or something.

Everyone feels the need to justify their own choices, I suppose.

I totally agree.

I totally think you would like reading this.

totally! (reminds me of Finding Nemo...the turtle surfer dude, ).

[The Gaffer]

It doesn't surprise me that there's peer pressure to have a career rather than kids. Almost everyone grows out of that. THe great thing is that, increasingly, you can have both. And it's even possible for fathers to share the child care

[Last Child of Ungoliant]

i personally can't stand children, especially between the ages of 3 and 12, the screaming ages as my mum puts it! she would be happy to have children all the time, send them away at 18 months, and then welcome them back at 16 years, but after living with me and my sisters, who wouldn't? (I wasn't really a naughty child...honest!!)

[sun-star]

Thanks for the link, Merc (I love the surfer turtle! )

Originally Posted by The Gaffer

It doesn't surprise me that there's peer pressure to have a career rather than kids. Almost everyone grows out of that. The great thing is that, increasingly, you can have both.

Indeed. I do see why people are a little hostile to the idea - it's not very long since women didn't have the choice. So as long as we all get to choose what we want to do without stigma... the world will live in peace and harmony...

And it's even possible for fathers to share the child care

Yeah, we'll see He might not be up to it. I hear it's a tough life, and men are weak