Monty Python - Page 2

Pytt · 02-03-2005, 10:05 AM

I need to see more Monty. Especially from the Circus. haven't seen a bit, almost. Only the movies; Meaning of Life, Holy Grail and Life of Brian.

**Nurvingiel** · 02-03-2005, 10:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeardofPants

I love Monty Python... but I feckin' hate the oft' quoted Holy Grail. :grumpy:

Anyhoo...

I've got two legs from the hips to the ground,
And when I move them they walk around,
And when I lift them they climb the stairs,
And when I shave them they ain't got hairs.

I've got two legs…

*BLAM*

Gwahaha!!! I love "I got two legs".

You hate the Holy Grail!? But it's hilarious! It's Classic Python.

You must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest wiiiith... a herring!
-But that's impossible!
Oh please.

*whisper* It's the old man from scene 24!

brownjenkins · 02-03-2005, 10:12 AM

BRIAN: Did you say... 'ex-leper'?

EX-LEPER: That's right, sir. Sixteen years behind the bell, and proud of it, sir.
BRIAN: Well, what happened?

EX-LEPER: I was cured, sir.

BRIAN: Cured?

EX-LEPER: Yes, sir, a bloody miracle, sir. God bless you.

BRIAN: Who cured you?

EX-LEPER: Jesus did, sir. I was hopping along, minding my own business. All of a sudden, up he comes. Cures me. One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by your leave. 'You're cured mate.' Bloody do-gooder.

BRIAN: Well, why don't you go and tell him you want to be a leper again?

EX-LEPER: Ah, yeah. I could do that, sir. Yeah. Yeah, I could do that, I suppose. What I was thinking was, I was going to ask him if he could make me a bit lame in one leg during the middle of the week. You know, something beggable, but not leprosy, which is a pain in the arse, to be blunt. Excuse my French, sir, but, uh--

MANDY: Brian! Come and clean your room out.

BRIAN: There you are.

EX-LEPER: Thank you, sir. Thanks-- Half a denary for me bloody life story?

BRIAN: There's no pleasing some people.

EX-LEPER: That's just what Jesus said, sir.

Pytt · 02-03-2005, 10:15 AM

BRIAN:
Are you the Judean People's Front?
REG:
**** off!
BRIAN:
What?
REG:
Judean People's Front. We're the People's Front of Judea! Judean People's Front. Cawk.
FRANCIS:
Wankers.
BRIAN:
Can I... join your group?
REG:
No. Piss off.

The whole scene is so good, but I didn't make it all, the post would have been huge!

inked · 02-03-2005, 12:16 PM

BoP is an heretic! Not like the Holy Grail!? Absurd! Beyond Absurd. A bloody great TURD that!

Send her to get the great beast of an ATTACK Rabbit!

THE MEDICAL LOVE SONG is an all-time classic as well. Just remember that NGU is now known as Clamydia!

Elemmírë · 02-03-2005, 01:34 PM

All I've seen so far is the Holy Grail.

My brother ordered the Flying Circus from the library... but I went away to college before he got it.

That's always the way, isn't it?

Starr Polish · 02-03-2005, 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by inked

BoP is an heretic! Not like the Holy Grail!? Absurd! Beyond Absurd. A bloody great TURD that!

Send her to get the great beast of an ATTACK Rabbit!

THE MEDICAL LOVE SONG is an all-time classic as well. Just remember that NGU is now known as Clamydia!

With big, scary, pointy TEETHS!

What a peculiar performance.

Falagar · 02-03-2005, 04:17 PM

Holy Grail, Flying Circus, Bwian...Love 'em all.

Quote:

Mum: He's had a hard day dear... his new play opens at the National Theatre tomorrow.

Ken: Oh that's good.

Dad: Good! good? What do you know about it? What do you know about getting up at five o'clock in t'morning to fly to Paris... back at the Old Vic for drinks at twelve, sweating the day through press interviews, television interviews and getting back here at ten to wrestle with the problem of a homosexual nymphomaniac drug-addict involved in the ritual murder of a well known Scottish footbailer· That's a full working day, lad, and don't you forget it!

Mum: Oh, don't shout at the boy, father.

Dad: Aye, 'ampstead wasn't good enough for you, was it? ... you had to go poncing off to BarnsIcy, you and yer coal-mining friends. (spits)

Ken: Coal-mining is a wonderful thing father, but it's something you'll never understand. Just look at you!

Brilliant.

Minielin · 02-03-2005, 05:19 PM

I like the dirty spoon skit.

And now for the punchline...
THE PUNCHLINE
"Good thing I didn't tell him about the dirty knife!"

Also the funniest joke in the world. That one is priceless.

Last Child of Ungoliant · 02-03-2005, 05:28 PM

and now, the middle of the film

Embladyne · 02-03-2005, 06:16 PM

Can't remember the script, but the Fruit attacks sketch is a favourite...as well as the couple going to the psychyatrist...

...
I really need to rewatch again...and make sure EL is there.

Last Child of Ungoliant · 02-03-2005, 06:18 PM

#...It's Christmas in Heaven...#

Insidious Rex · 02-03-2005, 10:54 PM

Enjoy: http://www.entmoot.com/showthread.php?t=367

Anyone can regurgitate well known lines. Lets see some creativity and combine it with something we all love. And I still say Cirdan was the master of this stuff.

Minielin · 02-04-2005, 12:40 AM

Well, if that's your cup of tea, read this: http://www.xenocorp.net/H_bardCorner/MPFotR.htm
It's complete and very funny, particularly the scene with Merry and Pippin in the Prancing Pony a la the Holy Grail effeminate prince's guards.

Pippin: Ha, ha, what a kidder! (loudly) Hey everyone, come and meet Mr. "Underhill" with his plain, old, ordinary gold ring! Wink-wink, nudge-nudge, say-no-more, say-no-more!
Frodo: Any chance we can "accidentally" leave Pippin and Merry here?

***Rían*** · 02-08-2005, 07:19 PM

Oh, I remember the fruit attacks, and that coal miner sketch is great!

Does anyone remember the Olympic Hide-and-Seek sketch from one of the tv shows? That one just cracked me up! Also the "someone of the north" sketch (can't remember the name) where all it is is the announcer saying in an impressive voice, "Someone of the North", and some guy totally wrapped up in furs and skins, trying to get up on his horse, and he can't do it because he can hardly move!

Last Child of Ungoliant · 02-08-2005, 07:43 PM

Gilraen to Elrond: He's not the Elessar, he's a very naughty boy!

ItalianLegolas · 02-09-2005, 07:34 AM

How about the one where all the aliens come and make the scottish guy make them kilts, and they go to Wimbledon? or the camel watcher?

Snowdog · 05-07-2005, 06:22 PM

I been watching The Flying Circus on BBC and for the most part I still crack up at the humor. Some is a bit much to take without the drugs, but still, great stuff!

So have you Pythonos ever seen Yellowbeard??

durinsbane2244 · 05-12-2005, 09:24 PM

the spanish inquisition is great,

as is the fish slapping dance and the man who is alternatly rude and polite:
(a bit)

o, thank you

O THANK YOU SAYS THE GREAT QUEEN, LIKE A LA-DEE-DA POOFTA!

durinsbane2244 · 05-20-2005, 08:31 PM

come on some one!

02-03-2005, 10:05 AM	#21
Pytt The Supreme Lord of The Northern Eagles Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: trondheim, norway Posts: 1,388	I need to see more Monty. Especially from the Circus. haven't seen a bit, almost. Only the movies; Meaning of Life, Holy Grail and Life of Brian. __________________ Don't Panic!

02-03-2005, 10:12 AM	#23
brownjenkins Advocatus Diaboli Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Reality Posts: 3,767	BRIAN: Did you say... 'ex-leper'? EX-LEPER: That's right, sir. Sixteen years behind the bell, and proud of it, sir. BRIAN: Well, what happened? EX-LEPER: I was cured, sir. BRIAN: Cured? EX-LEPER: Yes, sir, a bloody miracle, sir. God bless you. BRIAN: Who cured you? EX-LEPER: Jesus did, sir. I was hopping along, minding my own business. All of a sudden, up he comes. Cures me. One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by your leave. 'You're cured mate.' Bloody do-gooder. BRIAN: Well, why don't you go and tell him you want to be a leper again? EX-LEPER: Ah, yeah. I could do that, sir. Yeah. Yeah, I could do that, I suppose. What I was thinking was, I was going to ask him if he could make me a bit lame in one leg during the middle of the week. You know, something beggable, but not leprosy, which is a pain in the arse, to be blunt. Excuse my French, sir, but, uh-- MANDY: Brian! Come and clean your room out. BRIAN: There you are. EX-LEPER: Thank you, sir. Thanks-- Half a denary for me bloody life story? BRIAN: There's no pleasing some people. EX-LEPER: That's just what Jesus said, sir. __________________ Your reality, sir, is lies and balderdash and I'm delighted to say that I have no grasp of it whatsoever.

02-03-2005, 10:15 AM	#24
Pytt The Supreme Lord of The Northern Eagles Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: trondheim, norway Posts: 1,388	BRIAN: Are you the Judean People's Front? REG: **** off! BRIAN: What? REG: Judean People's Front. We're the People's Front of Judea! Judean People's Front. Cawk. FRANCIS: Wankers. BRIAN: Can I... join your group? REG: No. Piss off. The whole scene is so good, but I didn't make it all, the post would have been huge! __________________ Don't Panic!

02-03-2005, 12:16 PM	#25
inked Elf Lord Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: sikeston, MO, usa, earth, sol Posts: 3,114	BoP is an heretic! Not like the Holy Grail!? Absurd! Beyond Absurd. A bloody great TURD that! Send her to get the great beast of an ATTACK Rabbit! THE MEDICAL LOVE SONG is an all-time classic as well. Just remember that NGU is now known as Clamydia! __________________ Inked "Aslan is not a tame lion." CSL/LWW "The new school [acts] as if it required...courage to say a blasphemy. There is only one thing that requires real courage to say, and that is a truism." GK Chesterton "And there is always the danger of allowing people to suppose that our modern times are so wholly unlike any other times that the fundamental facts about man's nature have wholly changed with changing circumstances." Dorothy L. Sayers, 1 Sept. 1941

02-03-2005, 01:34 PM	#26
Elemmírë avocatus diaboli Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Himring Posts: 1,582	All I've seen so far is the Holy Grail. My brother ordered the Flying Circus from the library... but I went away to college before he got it. That's always the way, isn't it? __________________ ~ I have heard the languages of apocalypse and now I shall embrace the silence ~ Neil Gaiman

02-03-2005, 05:19 PM	#29
Minielin Elven Warrior Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: I dwell in possibility. Posts: 247	I like the dirty spoon skit. And now for the punchline... THE PUNCHLINE "Good thing I didn't tell him about the dirty knife!" Also the funniest joke in the world. That one is priceless. __________________ "...then how shall I Revive the dying tones of minstrelsy, Which linger yet about lone gothic arches, In dark green ivy, and among wild larches?" Interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum Europae vincendarum.

02-03-2005, 05:28 PM	#30
Last Child of Ungoliant The Intermittent One Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: here and there Posts: 4,671	and now, the middle of the film

02-03-2005, 06:16 PM	#31
Embladyne Honourary Elitist Inklette Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: between the mountains and the sea Posts: 704	Can't remember the script, but the Fruit attacks sketch is a favourite...as well as the couple going to the psychyatrist...... I really need to rewatch again...and make sure EL is there. __________________ Even on the pinnacle of a palace a crow does not become an eagle. My DA page

02-03-2005, 06:18 PM	#32
Last Child of Ungoliant The Intermittent One Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: here and there Posts: 4,671	#...It's Christmas in Heaven...#

02-03-2005, 10:54 PM	#33
Insidious Rex Quasi Evil Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Maryland, US Posts: 4,634	Enjoy: http://www.entmoot.com/showthread.php?t=367 Anyone can regurgitate well known lines. Lets see some creativity and combine it with something we all love. And I still say Cirdan was the master of this stuff. __________________ "People's political beliefs don't stem from the factual information they've acquired. Far more the facts people choose to believe are the product of their political beliefs." "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."

02-04-2005, 12:40 AM	#34
Minielin Elven Warrior Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: I dwell in possibility. Posts: 247	Well, if that's your cup of tea, read this: http://www.xenocorp.net/H_bardCorner/MPFotR.htm It's complete and very funny, particularly the scene with Merry and Pippin in the Prancing Pony a la the Holy Grail effeminate prince's guards. Pippin: Ha, ha, what a kidder! (loudly) Hey everyone, come and meet Mr. "Underhill" with his plain, old, ordinary gold ring! Wink-wink, nudge-nudge, say-no-more, say-no-more! Frodo: Any chance we can "accidentally" leave Pippin and Merry here? __________________ "...then how shall I Revive the dying tones of minstrelsy, Which linger yet about lone gothic arches, In dark green ivy, and among wild larches?" Interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum Europae vincendarum.

02-08-2005, 07:19 PM	#35
*Rían* Half-Elven Princess of Rabbit Trails and Harp-Wielding Administrator (beware the Rubber Chicken of Doom!) Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Not where I want to be ... Posts: 15,254	Oh, I remember the fruit attacks, and that coal miner sketch is great! Does anyone remember the Olympic Hide-and-Seek sketch from one of the tv shows? That one just cracked me up! Also the "someone of the north" sketch (can't remember the name) where all it is is the announcer saying in an impressive voice, "Someone of the North", and some guy totally wrapped up in furs and skins, trying to get up on his horse, and he can't do it because he can hardly move! __________________ . I should be doing the laundry, but this is MUCH more fun! Ñá ë?* óú éä ïöü Öñ É Þ ð ß ® ç å ™ æ ♪ ?* "How lovely are Thy dwelling places, O Lord of hosts! ... For a day in Thy courts is better than a thousand outside." (from Psalm 84) * * * God rocks! Entmoot : Veni, vidi, velcro - I came, I saw, I got hooked! Ego numquam pronunciare mendacium, sed ego sum homo indomitus! Run the earth and watch the sky ... Auta i lómë! Aurë entuluva!

02-08-2005, 07:43 PM	#36
Last Child of Ungoliant The Intermittent One Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: here and there Posts: 4,671	Gilraen to Elrond: He's not the Elessar, he's a very naughty boy!

02-09-2005, 07:34 AM	#37
ItalianLegolas Tolkien-aholic Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: somewhere in the solar system... more specifically NJ... Posts: 712	How about the one where all the aliens come and make the scottish guy make them kilts, and they go to Wimbledon? or the camel watcher? __________________ What was lost is now found.

05-07-2005, 06:22 PM	#38
Snowdog Dúnedain Ranger of the North Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: The Ruins of Arnor Posts: 892	I been watching The Flying Circus on BBC and for the most part I still crack up at the humor. Some is a bit much to take without the drugs, but still, great stuff! So have you Pythonos ever seen Yellowbeard?? __________________ "I am an outlaw, I was born an outlaw's son. The highway is my legacy, on the highway I will run."

05-12-2005, 09:24 PM	#39
durinsbane2244 Dreamweaver Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: The Misty Mountains, where the spirits go... Posts: 3,560	the spanish inquisition is great, as is the fish slapping dance and the man who is alternatly rude and polite: (a bit) o, thank you O THANK YOU SAYS THE GREAT QUEEN, LIKE A LA-DEE-DA POOFTA! __________________ Lord, what fools these mortals be! ---------------- We are the music-makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams, Wandering by lone sea-breakers, And sitting by desolate streams; World-losers and world-forsakers, On whom the pale moon gleams: Yet we are the movers and shakers Of the world for ever, it seems. ---------------- Shanti, shanti, shantih...

05-20-2005, 08:31 PM	#40
durinsbane2244 Dreamweaver Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: The Misty Mountains, where the spirits go... Posts: 3,560	come on some one! __________________ Lord, what fools these mortals be! ---------------- We are the music-makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams, Wandering by lone sea-breakers, And sitting by desolate streams; World-losers and world-forsakers, On whom the pale moon gleams: Yet we are the movers and shakers Of the world for ever, it seems. ---------------- Shanti, shanti, shantih...

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