Kids today

[wahine]

Originally posted by Sminty_Smeagol
I think it is a case-to-case scenario. Some kids are better with different ways of handling things. My parents spanked me and my brothers... it worked fine for them (my brothers), they're good guys. But I... heh... I have psychiatrist appointments every week and.. scars... and yet we were raised exactly the same way.

The same methods don't apply to everyone.

I agree with that partly, *I had no discipline and I have *err used to have* appointments too, lordy lordy dr. freudy*

As the old maxim goes "spare the rod spoil the child", kids today are undoubtedly spoiled brats.

All this stress homework crap is just that.

4th year college students can't answer questions that were asked to 8th graders 200 years back. Talk about stress, chores and all that jazz, plus school.

Kids are being conditioned to feel like victims. To feel like what they do isn't there fault but someone elses. That's being weak. Psychologists promote that. thus I quit, and I honestly can say, it's alot better.

But I don't give a damn. Because kids today aren't my problem, they're their parents problem. The bobbies problem, and you can bet any grommet who pulls shark attack with me gets a real nasty bite.

Man, I'm so cheery today.

[Legolas_Frodo_Aragorn]

I think kids should be punished but NEVER should the punishment be physical. That could just cause the kids to retaliate (spelling)more

[Elven Archer]

kids should be punished when they do wrong cause if they'r not then they're just gonna keep doing wrong. kids should be punished phisycally but not too harsh. but punishment is useless if they don't understand why they're being punished.

[Legolas_Frodo_Aragorn]

physical punishment should absaloutly never be used. it may stop the child from doing what they were doing, but later in life, it will cause huge problems. Punishment should be like no getting together with friends or no phone or computer

[Firekitten2006]

hmmmm there are some very interesting thoughts on here. But I'm gonna have to get in on this ya know

I'm 14 and almost 15. I really dont see any problems with people these days. lol Other than everyone in this country (usa) is obsessed with looking "ghetto" or "in". I mean yeah, I am interested in looking good, but I am NOT obsessed with it.

i think kids and teenagers today have big problems. I've seen really little kids cuss and hit people and be just really really rude.

That is parenting right there. Or the parents just not caring.

same with teenagers. Teenagers also have problems with respect to elders or anybody for that matter.more and more teenagers are dressing skimpy and trashy. lots of kids and teenagers have problems with drugs wich is really sad. there's alotmore stuff wrong with kids and teenagers

Ok, yeah but there are also ADULTS dressing and acting like that. Who do you think those kids/teenagers learned it from? Those adults were also once kids and teenagers, and they learned it from someone. Its an endless cycle. But basically they learn it from adults. A teenager isnt going to look up to a little kid. I mean, teenagers dont watch Barney, we dont watch Sesame Street, we are growing up. And if the parents dont have even minimal control, we ARE going to end up like you said. But it all goes back to the parents. Really, its more of a chicken and egg thing.

[Bullroarer]

Problem is twofold.

Please keep in mind that this is coming from a 14 year old.

Parents - Spank your kids when they get into trouble. That simple. When they get older, slap them across the face.

Tell me, does it really impact someone that much to cause PSYCOLOGICAL problems?

The worst that can happen is that it stings and their skin is a little red. It gets their attention, makes them back off.

Slapping/spanking your child is not child abuse, or beating your child. It is an art called "discipline".

Whipping with a belt, throwing chairs at, punching, smacking with sticks....THIS is abuse.

Do you love your child enough to punish them, so they learn not to do the wrong thing again?

Why can't we just give the child verbal discipline, instead of physical discipline?

I'm afraid of getting hit. I'm afraid of making my parents upset with me enough to need to slap me to get me to shut up and get in line.

If I had just got verbal "warnings" and got an occasional "grounding"...

I would say that I would have turned out a considerably less obediant child, with less respect.
-----------------------------------------
Here's where I address kids:

Kids these days think that their opinion MATTERS.

Y'know what? When it comes down to it, when does a kid's opinion matter concerning the RULES OF THE HOUSEHOLD?

Rules of the household, family, law.

I'm not saying that kids shouldn't have an active say in these. If a kid wants their curfew to be later, they should state so. Their opinion still doesn't matter unless the authorities (parents, government) allow it.

When you know you have broken a rule, whether you like it or not, you will pay the consequences.

Yes, you have government rights to freedom of speech, but you are a MINOR. You are under the care of the adults that brought you into this world. You respect them.

It makes me sick to listen to my older brother yell at my mother. I would slug him in the face for disrespecting his and my mother. Never had the chance to.

Y'know why he does it to? Because my parents disciplined me right when I got rebellious. Then my parents split up, and my mother didn't have the intimidation that my father had, so my brother got away with everything.

Parents, Put your kids in line.
Kids, get some @#$@#$%@#%@ RESPECT.

I'm off my soapbox now....

[Coney]

Unruly, apathy,...

Maybe......but until society realises that kids are a part of society (and arguably a very important part) and changes its attude to recognise that kids need to be heard and their opinions/wants/needs are respected and fulfilled then there is always going to be problems

We ask kids to soak up education, media and gossip and expect them not to form their own opinions............?..and even rebel?

[Sminty_Smeagol]

Well... I know my parents never used direct physical discipline, like with a hand... but they used a wooden spoon. It depends on the person.. some kids might be passive aggressive and remember this and hold these memories for life, holding it against their parents.

Everyone is different.

[Legolas_Frodo_Aragorn]

some kids respond to verbal punishment, so there is no need for physical. I dont think any kid should have to deal with physical (which i've stated many times) but the degree of verbal (ie. just saying that it was wrong, or not allowing them to see friends) depends on the kid

[wahine]

Bullroarer: slapping across the face I find abusive, spanking is not. But I agree with you in the fact that kids opinions shouldn't amke a difference, they get off feeling they are important and deserve respect. I think you shouldn't repect your child, you should love them and expect respect.

Sure, children can explain and express their wants and dislikes, but the ultimate choice is the guardians.

I got a lot of mental verbal abuse as a kid. That frucked me. My mother was a schizophrenic/alcoholic. *woo, great family*

But what children grow up to be, and what they grow up to do isn't the responsibility of the parents because they children can CHOOSE to do what they do.

I do agree on the pier pressure lets be a kak thing. Other kids influence kids easier and more profoundly than parents who don't control the children their kids are around, and who don't discipline. *breath*

Those passive agressive children should understand that their parents were doing the best they knew how to do.

Education: Crock, school books are influence by the culture. Bad idea, they should come strictly from facts. (f.e. In Japan the Japanese hear horror stories about what Koreans and Chinese and Americans did to Japanese, but they don't here about what Japanese did to start it, or retaliate...Slavery and the civil war, slavery wasn't the issue, but people in our culture want to play victim.)

Media: Has depressed in value at an alarming rate. I remember when you didn't hear words like "ass" "crap" "****" and all, and "darn" was edging a pg rating. Media my friends is going to the dogs.

Gossip: The worst thing. Everything gets blown out of whack, and things become bigger than they need to be. Bad system.

Opinions: They are important, they are a persons...personality! But Freedom of speech *my head hurts, is that spelled right* isn't also Freedom of action, disrespect and aggression.

~~~~~OOC~~~~~

Daschle *or however it's spelled* is an idiot, he wanted war with Iraq in Clinton's reign of terror, but is against is in Bush's? That shows you what he is levelling for. Why are all Politicians corrupt?

[Bullroarer]

Also would like to point out something I just thought of.

I apologize if this is a bad analogy.


You are leading a donkey. You need the donkey to turn left. You tug the rope lightly, to get it's attention.

It doesn't respond.

You tug harder.

Still doesn't respond.

You tug harder.

Nothing.

Finally you hit it on the head (I would never do this to animal, I'm speaking analogically)

It regains attention, and follows you to the left.

This is discipline when used effectively.

The tugging is comparable to verbal warnings.

Hitting on the head is used as a final resort to several tuggings.

The response yeilds the desired result, and the donkey learns, "Oh! That's what happens when I don't turn left when I'm led that way!"

=============================

This is an analogy of punishment.

Same donkey scenario, but you don't hit the donkey.

Instead, when you bring the donkey home, you punish it by hitting it on the head.

Same type of punishment, but entirely different results.

Punishment is, in a very thin way, revenge.

A punishment is "Your father is going to spank you when he gets home"

A discipline is when, for example (plays "I remember when")

Genious here puts silly puddy down the toilet. After unclogging the drain, Father tells me to not put silly putty down the toilet. So guess what I do?

That's right, I dropped it right down the toilet, right in front of him.

He hammered me right on the spot. Discipline.

He did NOT take me to my room, lay me accross his lap, and spank me 10 times. Punishment.

-----------

What makes these people have psycological problems is the punishment, not the discipline.

Being grounded, having things taken away from kids, is a form of punishment.

-----------

And discipline gets a heck of a lot FASTER reaction that warnings...

[Coney]

Originally posted by wahine
Bullroarer: slapping across the face I find abusive, spanking is not. But I agree with you in the fact that kids opinions shouldn't amke a difference, they get off feeling they are important and deserve respect. I think you shouldn't repect your child, you should love them and expect respect.

Sure, children can explain and express their wants and dislikes, but the ultimate choice is the guardians.

I got a lot of mental verbal abuse as a kid. That frucked me. My mother was a schizophrenic/alcoholic. *woo, great family*

But what children grow up to be, and what they grow up to do isn't the responsibility of the parents because they children can CHOOSE to do what they do.

I do agree on the pier pressure lets be a kak thing. Other kids influence kids easier and more profoundly than parents who don't control the children their kids are around, and who don't discipline. *breath*

Those passive agressive children should understand that their parents were doing the best they knew how to do.

Education: Crock, school books are influence by the culture. Bad idea, they should come strictly from facts. (f.e. In Japan the Japanese hear horror stories about what Koreans and Chinese and Americans did to Japanese, but they don't here about what Japanese did to start it, or retaliate...Slavery and the civil war, slavery wasn't the issue, but people in our culture want to play victim.)

Media: Has depressed in value at an alarming rate. I remember when you didn't hear words like "ass" "crap" "****" and all, and "darn" was edging a pg rating. Media my friends is going to the dogs.

Gossip: The worst thing. Everything gets blown out of whack, and things become bigger than they need to be. Bad system.

Opinions: They are important, they are a persons...personality! But Freedom of speech *my head hurts, is that spelled right* isn't also Freedom of action, disrespect and aggression.

~~~~~OOC~~~~~

Daschle *or however it's spelled* is an idiot, he wanted war with Iraq in Clinton's reign of terror, but is against is in Bush's? That shows you what he is levelling for. Why are all Politicians corrupt?

Deserves a repeat

Damn.....I was told at 11yrs old."yer on ya own"..tho the folks still are "my folks"...wi'out the responsibility (never were)... I turned out alright (nearly)

Good post

[wahine]

Originally posted by Coney
Damn.....I was told at 11yrs old."yer on ya own"..tho the folks still are "my folks"...wi'out the responsibility (never were)... I turned out alright (nearly)

Well, I feel inadequate at expressing exactly what I am talking about. To many slang words lolling about in my head.

But I think the most important elimant in child rearing is love. All other things fall short.

Thanks for the encouragement.

[Insidious Rex]

Originally posted by Evenstar1400
I'm 13. i think us kids are okay, at times. the problem with us is that we never really get a chance to feel young, with all the homework and worries put on us. the issue with the US going to war freaks me out alot, and i have a friend that is paranoid about us getting bombed. we just have been through alot, and its forced us to grow up faster than we shouldhave.

In some ways this is true. Society treats children more like adults then ever. And its distorted a generartion (well a couple generations) in ways we are just now realizing. On the other hand I think kids in the past have had things MUCH worse. I mean compare worrying about Sadam to growing up in say world war II london and worrying every day about German bombs falling on your house while you slept. now thats stress. but kids are dynmic and bounce back well and they delt with it. If anything kids have it too easy nowadays. But I can only speak as an American on that issue. Im sure its different if yer a kid in say Afghanistan or Somalia or something.

[FrodoFriend]

I don't believe any of this stuff about young people now being worse than they used to be. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that all through out history, people have been saying, 'Kids these days! They just don't respect their elders!' and so on and so on. Are they actually continuously getting worse? Yeah, right. Furthermore, so what if some teenagers choose to dress in skimpy clothing or in Gothic clothing or whatever? It's your own choice what you do with your life, and frankly, I don't think adults have the right to tell kids what to wear or how to act. Respect is a different thing, I think young people should respect their elders - but the elders need to respect us back. Unfortunately, money makes the world go 'round and often leads to the exploitation and adds to the problems of people of all ages - media, advertising, etc. But this isn't only a problem for us young people, rather something to be faced and controlled together.

As for punishment, my parents spanked me on rare occasions when I was young, but they stopped as I grew older because, well, you don't spank other adults, don't you? My parents have always had respect for me, my opinions, and my dignity as a fellow human being as well as their daughter. They don't treat me as their property (I've observed that many adults do this), nor do they force their opinions on me, instead leaving me to choose for myself (and if I choose wrong, face the consequences myself) and respecting my choices. The fact is, the rare times I go against my parents' wishes, the looks on their faces make me sorry enough to rethink whatever I was doing or planning on doing. Mutual respect does it.

[Elf Girl]

I agree, FrodoFriend. Much of what you said is true for me also. Excellent post.

[eowyngirl14]

Originally posted by Bullroarer
Also would like to point out something I just thought of.

I apologize if this is a bad analogy.


You are leading a donkey. You need the donkey to turn left. You tug the rope lightly, to get it's attention.

It doesn't respond.

You tug harder.

Still doesn't respond.

You tug harder.

Nothing.

Finally you hit it on the head (I would never do this to animal, I'm speaking analogically)

It regains attention, and follows you to the left.

This is discipline when used effectively.

The tugging is comparable to verbal warnings.

Hitting on the head is used as a final resort to several tuggings.

The response yeilds the desired result, and the donkey learns, "Oh! That's what happens when I don't turn left when I'm led that way!"

=============================

This is an analogy of punishment.

Same donkey scenario, but you don't hit the donkey.

Instead, when you bring the donkey home, you punish it by hitting it on the head.

Same type of punishment, but entirely different results.

Punishment is, in a very thin way, revenge.

A punishment is "Your father is going to spank you when he gets home"

A discipline is when, for example (plays "I remember when")

Genious here puts silly puddy down the toilet. After unclogging the drain, Father tells me to not put silly putty down the toilet. So guess what I do?

That's right, I dropped it right down the toilet, right in front of him.

He hammered me right on the spot. Discipline.

He did NOT take me to my room, lay me accross his lap, and spank me 10 times. Punishment.

-----------

What makes these people have psycological problems is the punishment, not the discipline.

Being grounded, having things taken away from kids, is a form of punishment.

-----------

And discipline gets a heck of a lot FASTER reaction that warnings...

Exelent, if rather lengthy post. I agree on most of what you have stated. But, if all out parents wanted us to become was abidient respecting robots, then I am sure that what you have said would apply. But as someone famous once said

'well mannered women are never remembered in history books'

The gender dosn't matter in this instance. If you do not stand out and make a few healty mistakes then you will never be great. You must take risks, break laws, do what you believe in. Matin Luther King Jr. and Gandi (sp?) were both men of peace who drew out side the lines and stood up for what they believed in. And look what they got for it. Both of them were assasinated.

I do not want to live in a world where horrible things can happen tosuch great and wonderfull people. It would be easy to sit back and blame all the problems in the world on adults, but as someone else said that would be the easy way out. If you get right down to it, out parents were no better off. Our generation was forced to live through the pain of 9/11. My parents generation went through the Vietnam war! My grandparents were around during World WarII! All this crap about school being harder... it's not! It is just the people teaching it that have changed, thus changing the people that are learning it!

As for the cloths issue... my twin dresses in skimpy little outfits and tryes desperatly to look cool. Me? I don't care all that much. I try to look nice but a lot of the popular styles are not to my liking. My parents let her dress how ever she wants as long as she doesn't break school dress code. This is because my twin tells her that her style of dress is her way of expressinf herself. I understand this to a degree... but I just where jeans and long sleeve shirts to school. I find other ways to express my uniquness. Through my writing and art... (which I will never ever ever show anyone because one of my friends laughed at it!!!)

[Legolas_Frodo_Aragorn]

aww carrie...who laughed? besides...steph expresses herself in an intresting *cough* revealing *cough* way

[jerseydevil]

Well I think that most of the problems deal with the parents. Schools want to have everyone win, there are no losers, elimination of games such as dodge ball. It's ridiculous. Also - if a student is punished in class (not hit) - the parents complain - because they THINK their child is perfect. Look at how parents behave at children sporting events. They're more of a problem and act worse than most children.

It probably won't surprise anyone that I was always opininated and I always stated my opinion to my parents - even if they disagreed. I never felt less of a person from an adult and I refused to be treated as one. My mother used to say I went from 2 to middle age over night. Of course it probably didn't help that I was changing diapers and feeding babies when I was 8 because our babysitter didn't know how to. I used to complain to my parents that we didn't need a babysitter because they didn't do anything, I did.

When my sister was in high school - my parents asked her if she had done her homework, because she was watching TV. She answered that she'd do it after she finished watching a show or something. My parents told her that she'd do it now. I told my parents to let her just watch TV - she was an A student and I was sure that she'd do it like she always did without having to be told. They were just in a bad mood and were going to take it out on her. They told me to stay out of it - but they knew I was right and let her watch her show.

Concerning respect for adults - I don't think adults deserve unconditional respect from children. At my graduation party - I was showing people my prom pictures. There was a picture of two of my friends together - he was black and she was white. My grandmother's "boyfriend" blew up and said how disgusting that was. I started screaming at him and my father said I had accept his criticism because he was older. I yelled to to my father that bigotry was not criticism and I didn't have accept that attitude. This was outside - so everyone was there.

I know that must adults thought that I was disrespectful. I just didn't necessarily go along with what adults said just because they said it.

When a friend of mine told her children that they had to respect me because I was older - I told them and her that they didn't have to repsect me because I was older - but I would hope that they'd respect me because I respected THEM and did a lot of things for them.

Childern and teenagers deserve just as much respect as adults do. And not all adults or children end up deserving respect. If someone doesn't respect me - then I really see no reason to show them any respect either. I won't go out of my way to be mean or a jerk to them. But I won't pretend to like them either.

By the way - growing up - I hated the term "kid". I always considered it a condescending term used by adults. "You're just a kid, what do you know?" I also hate that it refers to a baby goat - so if anyone called me "kid" - I always answered back that I wasn't a baby goat.

Obviously I haven't changed.

[Insidious Rex]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by jerseydevil
Concerning respect for adults - I don't think adults deserve unconditional respect from children. At my graduation party - I was showing people my prom pictures. There was a picture of two of my friends together - he was black and she was white. My grandmother's "boyfriend" blew up and said how disgusting that was. I started screaming at him and my father said I had accept his criticism because he was older. I yelled to to my father that bigotry was not criticism and I didn't have accept that attitude. This was outside - so everyone was there.

For this you rock. I would have gone off too although probably in a more passive aggressive relentless slow torture kind of way and said how sad it was that they were so blind and narrow minded and bigoted and what a loss for grandma etc. Until they wouldnt even come around me anymore.

By the way - growing up - I hated the term "kid". I always considered it a condescending term used by adults. "You're just a kid, what do you know?" I also hate that it refers to a baby goat - so if anyone called me "kid" - I always answered back that I wasn't a baby goat.

Well all symatics aside I kinda liked being a kid. Its a lot more fun then being an adult. At least it seems that way. No one plays tag and murder dodge any more as an adult. And the small things arent nearly as cool as they used to be.

Obviously I haven't changed.

Yes yer still obstinate and opinionated. Which makes for fun discussion at least.