04-02-2003, 04:17 PM | #21 | |
Dread Mothy Lord and Halfwitted Apprentice Loremaster
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Now, I know this is going to shock you all, but I agree with Rian!
Quote:
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Crux fidelis, inter omnes arbor una nobilis. Nulla talem silva profert, fronde, flore, germine. Dulce lignum, dulce clavo, dulce pondus sustinens. 'With a melon?' - Eric Idle |
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04-02-2003, 05:08 PM | #22 |
Incharge: neighbourhood security
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juat a joke: - "both my parents are divorced"
does this make sense? :- only my father is divorced?
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04-02-2003, 05:43 PM | #23 |
Dread Mothy Lord and Halfwitted Apprentice Loremaster
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Well, they might not have been married to one another in the first place; maybe they had a fling, then the father's wife found out, and divorced him.
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Crux fidelis, inter omnes arbor una nobilis. Nulla talem silva profert, fronde, flore, germine. Dulce lignum, dulce clavo, dulce pondus sustinens. 'With a melon?' - Eric Idle |
04-02-2003, 05:45 PM | #24 |
Incharge: neighbourhood security
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but then the wife too be divorced dont u think?
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i am nothing. i am a cold stone, which deceives with the light it reflects, giving illusions of warmth. |
04-02-2003, 08:18 PM | #25 |
Half-Elven Princess of Rabbit Trails and Harp-Wielding Administrator (beware the Rubber Chicken of Doom!)
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yes, I see what you're saying, congressmn! Since it takes 2 for marriage, then obviously 2 will be involved in a divorce!
It could also mean that both parents were previously divorced, though - there's so many combinations nowdays
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. I should be doing the laundry, but this is MUCH more fun! Ñá ë?* óú éä ïöü Öñ É Þ ð ß ® ç å ™ æ ♪ ?* "How lovely are Thy dwelling places, O Lord of hosts! ... For a day in Thy courts is better than a thousand outside." (from Psalm 84) * * * God rocks! Entmoot : Veni, vidi, velcro - I came, I saw, I got hooked! Ego numquam pronunciare mendacium, sed ego sum homo indomitus! Run the earth and watch the sky ... Auta i lómë! Aurë entuluva! |
04-02-2003, 08:26 PM | #26 |
An enigma in a conundrum
Join Date: Oct 1999
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Marriage will start out wonderful.
Then *stuff* happens. Divorce is a bitch. You get through it and hopefully learn. Then if you're lucky you get to try it all over again.
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Vizzini: "HE DIDN'T FALL?! INCONCEIVABLE!!" Inigo: "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." |
04-02-2003, 08:37 PM | #27 |
The Buddy Rabbit
Join Date: Oct 2002
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Never a nice subject this (especially if there are kids involved)...
Personally I'm with the Ancient Celts on this one. Marriaige (or commitment to your partner) was only a tie for a year, then either partner could decide wether or not to make the bonding a life-time commitment Personally I think marriage (in the modern sense) is an outdated thing, tho' I can see why people choose it for religious reasons. Also, the idea of a long engagement seems to have gone out of fashion....people seem in so much of a rush these days! But I guess religion is to blame for that as well..........one cannot live in "sin" (live together unmarried)....so how do you get to actually "know" the person you will spend the rest of your life with?? Ach well, divorce is one of the nastiest things anyone will go through...love is the strongest of our feelings, when ya fall out of it....well, you've lost a lot of what made you, you! |
04-02-2003, 09:14 PM | #28 |
The Elven Queen Of All Pyros
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my parents are divorced. they used to argue alot when i was little, and i remember hiding under my bed with my sister to avoid it
now their divorced, and they argue everytime they see each other. They always complain about the other behind the other persons back...they're both crazy! and now that my sisters is at college...its all on me
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Would you judge my future based on what i did in the past? Procrastinators Unite!!!.....tomorrrow.... Kids in backseats cause accidents...accidents in backseats cause kids As long as there are tests..there will be prayers in school |
04-02-2003, 09:36 PM | #29 |
Half-Elven Princess of Rabbit Trails and Harp-Wielding Administrator (beware the Rubber Chicken of Doom!)
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who here has parents that are NOT divorced? I do... my parents' 50th wedding anniversary is next month. I'm very blessed.
And I disagree with the idea of 'falling' out of love - but more on that later, since it's rather a complex topic and I have to finish making dinner and get son #1 out the door to a fun event w/ a friend...
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. I should be doing the laundry, but this is MUCH more fun! Ñá ë?* óú éä ïöü Öñ É Þ ð ß ® ç å ™ æ ♪ ?* "How lovely are Thy dwelling places, O Lord of hosts! ... For a day in Thy courts is better than a thousand outside." (from Psalm 84) * * * God rocks! Entmoot : Veni, vidi, velcro - I came, I saw, I got hooked! Ego numquam pronunciare mendacium, sed ego sum homo indomitus! Run the earth and watch the sky ... Auta i lómë! Aurë entuluva! |
04-02-2003, 09:40 PM | #30 | |
The Buddy Rabbit
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Quote:
'Tis quite sweet to see them still fawning over each other |
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04-02-2003, 09:47 PM | #31 |
Elf Lord
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Ah, what a lovely topic. [/sarcasm]
My parents divorced when I was four. My mother was extremely young when she married my father, who is nine years older than you. I remember very vaguely my family going through some extremely rough times (sometimes related to mental illness), but not very well, and I'm sure I've constructed some of them from stories told to me. Can you tell I'm taking psychology? I don't agree with divorce under most circumstances, but all in all, my parents divorce hasn't been a bad one. My mom and dad get along very well now, they were just too different to live together, and too young and stupid at the time they married to realize it. My mom's remarried, and my stepdad, though not perfect, is a decent guy. Still, it really sucks sometimes. Trying to work your schedule around custody arrangements and splitting up holidays (or even celebrating them more than once in many different areas over the span of the week) can be mind boggling. I rarely see my dad now, since I'm always working or off at a school function, and I feel guilty. I already have a huge family (my paternal grandmother was the youngest of eleven, and my maternal grandfather had eight or nine siblings), and then I add my stepdad's fairly large family (on top of my mother's stepfamily), and it's extremely confusing. I mean, come on, I have THREE Aunt Lindas!
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04-02-2003, 09:47 PM | #32 |
Dread Mothy Lord and Halfwitted Apprentice Loremaster
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My parents weren't divorced; but my Mom was my Dad's third wife.
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Crux fidelis, inter omnes arbor una nobilis. Nulla talem silva profert, fronde, flore, germine. Dulce lignum, dulce clavo, dulce pondus sustinens. 'With a melon?' - Eric Idle |
04-02-2003, 09:49 PM | #33 | |
Elf Lord
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Quote:
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“The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.” –Bertrand Russell |
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04-02-2003, 09:52 PM | #34 | |
The Buddy Rabbit
Join Date: Oct 2002
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Quote:
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04-03-2003, 01:25 AM | #35 | |
Fëanáro's Fire Mistress
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Location: Indiana, USA
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Quote:
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04-03-2003, 02:04 AM | #36 | |||
Corruptor
Join Date: Jan 2003
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Quote:
Is divorced ever justified? Yes - not as a quick fix though (seems to be the predominant reason for people to get divorced lately, they realise they no longer want to be with the other person for whatever reason & whoops they get a divorce, all nice & sterile). It is justified in cases of spousal abuse, when one party is abusing the children (if there are any) - I would also lay criminal charges. Also in cases where one of the parties are unfaithful - I wouldn't stay with such a person. There are many cases I can think of. Quote:
Mind you, marriage to me doesn't necessarily mean having to stand in front of a priest swearing to stay tue to each other forever. For me it's more a promise two people make to each other that, despite difficulties they will experience, they will love, support & help each other grow. It's an ongoing promise & process (no-one can stand in front of man & God and make a promise to do something forever when you have no clue what's waiting for you 10 years down the line - it's like promising the guy at the candy store that you will only ever eat pink bubblegum. But we can all make a promise to at least try). Quote:
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04-03-2003, 02:22 AM | #37 |
Half-Elven Princess of Rabbit Trails and Harp-Wielding Administrator (beware the Rubber Chicken of Doom!)
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Some musings on marriage from a 17-yr veteran (as of next month) -
Going into a marriage with the idea of "divorce is NOT an option" is the way to go, IMO. This helps you to choose your spouse very carefully. Integrity is big, as is a great sense of humor, IMHO! Also, once you're in the marriage, with the "divorce is NOT an option" idea, you're much more careful about how you act in the difficult times (which WILL happen, because hey, you're both human!) Kinda like renting a house vs. owning it - renters will trash the house because they figure they can always leave it, while owners realize they have to deal with the messes they make, so they're more careful! So it helps you to realize that whatever hurt you inflict in your anger, YOU are the one that will have to fix it later! Also home owners realize the importance of maintenance. Marriages, just like everything else, follow the second law of thermodynamics, and will tend to disorder if left alone. So knowing that you're in for your lifetime with your spouse will encourage you to (1) attend to the little things before they get big, and (2) put lots of positive energy into the relationship. Marriage is the best thing (besides becoming a Christian) that ever happened to me, but it IS definitely hard work at times -- but VERY, VERY well worth it. Best wishes, Arien! (just a minor additional note to say that of course, no one can see the future, so if the marriage hits one of the FEW valid reasons for divorce, then sometimes one must take that option - but I think that heading into the marriage with "divorce is NOT an option" is the right way to go. It's stupid, of course, to be legalistic and say, for example, "well I said divorce is not an option, so even though my husband is murdering my kids one by one, I won't divorce him". However, I think many people go into a marriage with the idea that divorce is hopefully something that won't happen, but is always kept handy in a little corner somewhere to pull out when they get too frustrated, instead of totally and fully committing to "until death do us part" and diving in there and working hard to keep the marriage going well).
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. I should be doing the laundry, but this is MUCH more fun! Ñá ë?* óú éä ïöü Öñ É Þ ð ß ® ç å ™ æ ♪ ?* "How lovely are Thy dwelling places, O Lord of hosts! ... For a day in Thy courts is better than a thousand outside." (from Psalm 84) * * * God rocks! Entmoot : Veni, vidi, velcro - I came, I saw, I got hooked! Ego numquam pronunciare mendacium, sed ego sum homo indomitus! Run the earth and watch the sky ... Auta i lómë! Aurë entuluva! |
04-03-2003, 04:49 AM | #38 | |
the Shrike
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Quote:
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04-03-2003, 11:09 AM | #39 |
Dread Mothy Lord and Halfwitted Apprentice Loremaster
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Hehehe.
No, he just married too soon. At least, I assume so. But I can't very well ask.
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Crux fidelis, inter omnes arbor una nobilis. Nulla talem silva profert, fronde, flore, germine. Dulce lignum, dulce clavo, dulce pondus sustinens. 'With a melon?' - Eric Idle |
04-03-2003, 04:26 PM | #40 |
Long lost mooter
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Florida
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And I think if the person is an abuser or chronic drug/ alcohol abuser, you probably didn't know him or her well enough to marry! (Although I know in some cases the person hides it very well).
A funny thing: There was a short-lived show called "Married People," and one of the couples are baby boomers, and one are about 18. They were talking about why the one couple got married so early, and the baby-boomer guy says, "So why didn't you just live together?" and the young couple says very confused and seriously "Because we wanted to have sex!" Engagement -- SP, see that proves that a long engagement is a good thing, because you're not rushing into anything, and you can end the relationship before getting into a bad marriage! I forget where I read this, but it said something like It's better to have to cancel a wedding and return all the gifts than to live with regret in an unhappy marriage. My grandparents only knew each other for about 3 months before they married and they were married for over 50 years until they died, but of course marriage was viewed differently then. And it helps that they loved each other very much! Also, they were a little older anyway (at least by the standards of the day -- I think my grandmother was 28 or 29, and my grandfather 2 years older than her). |
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