Monty Python Meets LOTR - Page 2

06-01-2000, 04:00 AM

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Good one!

06-03-2000, 12:40 AM

Ok, I just got this image of Treebeard lumbering (no pun intended) through the forest going "Spam Spam Spam Spam!!!..."

Claenoic · 01-26-2003, 10:17 PM

Gandalf: *Appears before the astonished Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli* I'm not dead!

Aragorn: Shut up, you aren't fooling anyone.

Gwaimir Windgem · 01-26-2003, 10:31 PM

Oh, don't be such a baby!

Coney · 01-27-2003, 08:04 PM

Elrond (in drag):Aragorn! What do that crowd outside want?.
Aragorn: Dunno Mum.
Crowd (chants):We want Elessar! We want Elessar!
Elrond (opens window):Look, there ain't no Elessar here.
Crowd:Oh yes there is!.....Aragorn, we want Aragorn!
Elrond:Aragorn?.....he's not the heir of Isildur!...He's just a naughty little boy!
Aragorn: Please Mum!
Elrond (looks at Arwen emerging from bedroom): Shut up my lad or you'll feel the back of my hand........And get the Elf tart out of here!

Draken · 01-27-2003, 08:12 PM

Aragorn enters Minas Tirith

FARAMIR: Who does he think he is?
ARAGORN: I am your king!
FARAMIR: Well, I didn't vote for you.
ARAGORN: You don't vote for kings.
FARAMIR: Well, how did you become King, then?
ARAGORN: The Lady Evenstar,...
[angels sing]
...her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Narsil from the forges of Rivendell signifying by Divine Providence that I, Aragorn, was to carry Narsil and reclaim my birthright.
[singing stops]
That is why I am your king!
DENETHOR: Listen. Strange elf women distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical sword ceremony.
ARAGORN: Be quiet!
DENETHOR: Well, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some winsome tart threw a sword at you!
ARAGORN: Shut up!
DENETHOR: I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor just because some pointy-eared bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
ARAGORN: Shut up, will you? Shut up!
DENETHOR: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.
ARAGORN: Shut up!
DENETHOR: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I'm being repressed!
ARAGORN: Bloody peasant!
DENETHOR: Oh, what a give-away...!

Coney · 01-27-2003, 08:15 PM

hahahahahaha

..brilliant Draken

Gwaimir Windgem · 01-27-2003, 08:23 PM

We are the Ents who say...NI!!

Coney · 01-27-2003, 08:49 PM

Gandalf: YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!
Balrog: It doesn't work like that.
Gandalf: Eh?
Balrog: You ask me a question, if I get it right you gotta let me pass.
Gandalf: Oh!
Balrog: *looks smug* Ask away then.
Gandalf: Damn, alright. What is the average flying speed of an African swallow carrying a cocunut?
Balrog: *looks startled* I don't know that!
Gandalf:*smiles*
*Bridge collapses*
Gandalf: *yells into the chasm* You've got wings!! Fly you fool!!

Elf Girl · 01-27-2003, 09:04 PM

Your last line needs revising, Coney. It should be:

Gandalf: You don't have wings! Too bad you can't fly, fool!

Gwaimir Windgem · 01-27-2003, 09:24 PM

Alternative:

Balrog: You fight with the strength of many men, Sir Knight. I am Balrog, Bane of Durin. I seek the finest knights in the realm to join me at my court in Camelot. Will you join me?...You make me sad, Sir Knight. Sobeit. Come Patsy.

Gandalf: None shall pass.

Balrog: What?

Gandalf: None shall pass.

Balrog:I have no quarrel with you, sir Wizard, but I must cross this bridge.

Gandalf: Then you shall die.

Balrog: I order you as Bane of Durin to stand aside!

Gandalf: I move for no Demon.

Balrog: Sobeit!

Fight ensues. Gandalf loses arm.

Balrog: Now stand aside, worthy adversary.

Gandalf: Tis but a scratch.

Balrog: A scratch?!?! You're arms off!

Gandalf: No tisn't.

Balrog: You liar!

Gandalf: Come on, ya pansy!

Fighting continues. Gandalf loses other arm

Balrog: Victory is mine! We thank thee Morgoth, that in thy villiany...

Gandalf kicks Balrog

Balrog: What the?

Gandalf: Have at you!

Balrog: You are indeed brave, sir Wizard, but the fight is mine!

Gandalf: Oh, had enough, eh?

Balrog: Look you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left!

Gandalf: Yes, I have.

Balrog: Look!

Gandalf: Just a flesh wound.

Balrog: Look, stop that!

Gandalf: Chicken! Chicken!

Balrog: Look, I'll have your leg! Right!

*Thwonck!*

Gandalf: Right, I'll do you for that!

Balrog: You'll what?!?!?

Gandalf: Come 'ere!

Balrog: What are ya gonna do, bleed on me?!?

Gandalf: I'm invincible!!!

Balrog: You're a loony!

Gandalf: The Istari always triumph! Have at you! Come on, then!

*Thwonck!*

Gandalf: All right, we'll call it a draw.

Balrog: Come Patsy.

Gandalf: Oh, I see! Running away, eh? You yellow bastard! Come back here and take what's coming to you! I'll bite your legs off!

Insidious Rex · 02-01-2003, 12:19 AM

Ugluck: Theres trouble at the tower.
Grishnack: Oh no! What sort of trouble?
Ugluck: One on't cross beams gone owt askew on treddle.
[B]Grishnack: Pardon?
Ugluck: One on't cross beams gone owt askew on treddle.
Grishnack: I dont understand what yer saying.
Ugluck: One of the cross beams has gone out askew on the treddle!
Grishnack: But what on earth does that mean?
Ugluck: I dont know. They just told me to come in here and say there was trouble at the tower, thats all. I didnt expect a kind of Nazgul Inquisition.
Nazgul Ximinez: (slidding in suddenly) NOBODY expects the Nazgul Inquisition!! Our chief weapon is winged beasts... winged beasts and poisoned swords... our TWO weapons are winged beasts and poisoned swords... and rutheless efficiency. Our three weapons are winged beasts poisoned swords rutheless efficiency and an almost fanatical devotion to Sauron!... our four weapons... no... amongst our weapons... amongst our weaponary are such elements as winged beasts, poisoned swords.... bugger!..... right Ill come in again.... (walking out)

Gwaimir Windgem · 02-01-2003, 01:18 AM

And nice black robes!

ArwenEvenstar · 02-01-2003, 09:46 PM

Cirdan and his Elves sing the Accountancy Shanty (it's the first one under the .Mp3 songs

So I like Hobbits
I like Hobbits
They only come up to your knees
Yet they're wise and they're witty
And they're ready to please

I know that sucks but ya know

FrodoFriend · 02-02-2003, 12:39 PM

Umm, just ignore this, please, I couldn't delete it.

FrodoFriend · 02-02-2003, 12:51 PM

LOL!!! Great thread!!

I was thinking the same thing as Coney, but more like this:

Gandalf to Balrog: YOU SHALL NOT PASS!! . . . Until you answer me these questions three!

Here's another:

Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas in Fangorn when they first see Gandalf, before they know who he is.
Aragorn: Might we know your name, and then hear what it is that you have to say to us?
Gandalf: There are some that call me . . . Tim.

Narsil's Master · 02-02-2003, 05:49 PM

rewrite the cavetroll in moria from fotr as the evil bunny

ArwenEvenstar · 02-02-2003, 06:55 PM

lol, the cavetroll is a good idea

Gwaimir Windgem · 02-02-2003, 07:14 PM

Hmm, somehow the cute fluffy little cave-troll doesn't work for me...

Insidious Rex · 02-02-2003, 10:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Gwaimir Windgem
Hmm, somehow the cute fluffy little cave-troll doesn't work for me...

*laugh* yeah thats what I was thinking. Maybe if we made Smaug into a kitten or something then it would follow the same general theme. Watch out its a fierce fire breathing kitten!

06-01-2000, 04:00 AM	#21
etherealunicorn Guest Posts: n/a	Re: LOLOL :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Good one!

06-03-2000, 12:40 AM	#22
Darth Tater Guest Posts: n/a	Re: LOLOL Ok, I just got this image of Treebeard lumbering (no pun intended) through the forest going "Spam Spam Spam Spam!!!..."

01-26-2003, 10:17 PM	#23
Claenoic Queen of Prolonged, Unexplained Absences Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Texas. 'Nuff said. Posts: 556	Gandalf: Appears before the astonished Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli I'm not dead! Aragorn: Shut up, you aren't fooling anyone. __________________ Very Biased Alternate Script (but it's funny!):Click here! FREAK RAIN!!!!!!!! O.o Queen of prolonged unexplained absences and long, loooong car rides. Well, hullo everyone. As you can see, I don't hang out here muchly anymore. There's a good reason for this. Y'see, I've been hanging out at a different chatboard called Cardboardia. So far, I've been havin' a blast. Not that I don't love the TLA, but the magic of Entmoot is lost on me. So, as soon as TLA ends, so will my existance here, probably. Who knows though? I might stay. Highly unlikely however. This is a good bye in advance, then. Unless you want to join me and my group of friends at Cardboardia. Cheers!

01-26-2003, 10:31 PM	#24
Gwaimir Windgem Dread Mothy Lord and Halfwitted Apprentice Loremaster Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Thomas Aquinas College, Santa Paula, CA Posts: 10,820	Oh, don't be such a baby! __________________ Crux fidelis, inter omnes arbor una nobilis. Nulla talem silva profert, fronde, flore, germine. Dulce lignum, dulce clavo, dulce pondus sustinens. 'With a melon?' - Eric Idle

01-27-2003, 08:04 PM	#25
Coney The Buddy Rabbit Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Trapped in the headlights.. Posts: 3,372	Fellowship meet Life of Brian Elrond (in drag):Aragorn! What do that crowd outside want?. Aragorn: Dunno Mum. Crowd (chants):We want Elessar! We want Elessar! Elrond (opens window):Look, there ain't no Elessar here. Crowd:Oh yes there is!.....Aragorn, we want Aragorn! Elrond:Aragorn?.....he's not the heir of Isildur!...He's just a naughty little boy! Aragorn: Please Mum! Elrond (looks at Arwen emerging from bedroom): Shut up my lad or you'll feel the back of my hand........And get the Elf tart out of here! __________________ Blessed are the cracked, they let the light in Beatallica

01-27-2003, 08:12 PM	#26
Draken Elf Lord Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Durham, England Posts: 694	Aragorn enters Minas Tirith FARAMIR: Who does he think he is? ARAGORN: I am your king! FARAMIR: Well, I didn't vote for you. ARAGORN: You don't vote for kings. FARAMIR: Well, how did you become King, then? ARAGORN: The Lady Evenstar,... [angels sing] ...her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Narsil from the forges of Rivendell signifying by Divine Providence that I, Aragorn, was to carry Narsil and reclaim my birthright. [singing stops] That is why I am your king! DENETHOR: Listen. Strange elf women distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical sword ceremony. ARAGORN: Be quiet! DENETHOR: Well, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some winsome tart threw a sword at you! ARAGORN: Shut up! DENETHOR: I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor just because some pointy-eared bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away! ARAGORN: Shut up, will you? Shut up! DENETHOR: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system. ARAGORN: Shut up! DENETHOR: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I'm being repressed! ARAGORN: Bloody peasant! DENETHOR: Oh, what a give-away...! __________________ I'm beset by self-doubt ....or am I?

01-27-2003, 08:15 PM	#27
Coney The Buddy Rabbit Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Trapped in the headlights.. Posts: 3,372	hahahahahaha ..brilliant Draken __________________ Blessed are the cracked, they let the light in Beatallica

01-27-2003, 08:23 PM	#28
Gwaimir Windgem Dread Mothy Lord and Halfwitted Apprentice Loremaster Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Thomas Aquinas College, Santa Paula, CA Posts: 10,820	Denethor, a bloody peasant?!?!? Anyway... We are the Ents who say...NI!! __________________ Crux fidelis, inter omnes arbor una nobilis. Nulla talem silva profert, fronde, flore, germine. Dulce lignum, dulce clavo, dulce pondus sustinens. 'With a melon?' - Eric Idle

01-27-2003, 08:49 PM	#29
Coney The Buddy Rabbit Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Trapped in the headlights.. Posts: 3,372	At the bridge of Khazad-dum Gandalf: YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!! Balrog: It doesn't work like that. Gandalf: Eh? Balrog: You ask me a question, if I get it right you gotta let me pass. Gandalf: Oh! Balrog: looks smug Ask away then. Gandalf: Damn, alright. What is the average flying speed of an African swallow carrying a cocunut? Balrog: looks startled I don't know that! Gandalf:smiles Bridge collapses Gandalf: yells into the chasm You've got wings!! Fly you fool!! __________________ Blessed are the cracked, they let the light in Beatallica Last edited by Coney : 01-27-2003 at 08:50 PM.

01-27-2003, 09:04 PM	#30
Elf Girl Lurker Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Lothlórien Posts: 3,419	Your last line needs revising, Coney. It should be: Gandalf: You don't have wings! Too bad you can't fly, fool! __________________ There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium...

01-27-2003, 09:24 PM	#31
Gwaimir Windgem Dread Mothy Lord and Halfwitted Apprentice Loremaster Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Thomas Aquinas College, Santa Paula, CA Posts: 10,820	Alternative: Balrog: You fight with the strength of many men, Sir Knight. I am Balrog, Bane of Durin. I seek the finest knights in the realm to join me at my court in Camelot. Will you join me?...You make me sad, Sir Knight. Sobeit. Come Patsy. Gandalf: None shall pass. Balrog: What? Gandalf: None shall pass. Balrog:I have no quarrel with you, sir Wizard, but I must cross this bridge. Gandalf: Then you shall die. Balrog: I order you as Bane of Durin to stand aside! Gandalf: I move for no Demon. Balrog: Sobeit! Fight ensues. Gandalf loses arm. Balrog: Now stand aside, worthy adversary. Gandalf: Tis but a scratch. Balrog: A scratch?!?! You're arms off! Gandalf: No tisn't. Balrog: You liar! Gandalf: Come on, ya pansy! Fighting continues. Gandalf loses other arm Balrog: Victory is mine! We thank thee Morgoth, that in thy villiany... Gandalf kicks Balrog Balrog: What the? Gandalf: Have at you! Balrog: You are indeed brave, sir Wizard, but the fight is mine! Gandalf: Oh, had enough, eh? Balrog: Look you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left! Gandalf: Yes, I have. Balrog: Look! Gandalf: Just a flesh wound. Balrog: Look, stop that! Gandalf: Chicken! Chicken! Balrog: Look, I'll have your leg! Right! Thwonck! Gandalf: Right, I'll do you for that! Balrog: You'll what?!?!? Gandalf: Come 'ere! Balrog: What are ya gonna do, bleed on me?!? Gandalf: I'm invincible!!! Balrog: You're a loony! Gandalf: The Istari always triumph! Have at you! Come on, then! Thwonck! Gandalf: All right, we'll call it a draw. Balrog: Come Patsy. Gandalf: Oh, I see! Running away, eh? You yellow bastard! Come back here and take what's coming to you! I'll bite your legs off! __________________ Crux fidelis, inter omnes arbor una nobilis. Nulla talem silva profert, fronde, flore, germine. Dulce lignum, dulce clavo, dulce pondus sustinens. 'With a melon?' - Eric Idle

02-01-2003, 12:19 AM	#32
Insidious Rex Quasi Evil Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Maryland, US Posts: 4,634	And now for something completely different.... Ugluck: Theres trouble at the tower. Grishnack: Oh no! What sort of trouble? Ugluck: One on't cross beams gone owt askew on treddle. [B]Grishnack: Pardon? Ugluck: One on't cross beams gone owt askew on treddle. Grishnack: I dont understand what yer saying. Ugluck: One of the cross beams has gone out askew on the treddle! Grishnack: But what on earth does that mean? Ugluck: I dont know. They just told me to come in here and say there was trouble at the tower, thats all. I didnt expect a kind of Nazgul Inquisition. Nazgul Ximinez: (slidding in suddenly) NOBODY expects the Nazgul Inquisition!! Our chief weapon is winged beasts... winged beasts and poisoned swords... our TWO weapons are winged beasts and poisoned swords... and rutheless efficiency. Our three weapons are winged beasts poisoned swords rutheless efficiency and an almost fanatical devotion to Sauron!... our four weapons... no... amongst our weapons... amongst our weaponary are such elements as winged beasts, poisoned swords.... bugger!..... right Ill come in again.... (walking out) __________________ "People's political beliefs don't stem from the factual information they've acquired. Far more the facts people choose to believe are the product of their political beliefs." "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."

02-01-2003, 01:18 AM	#33
Gwaimir Windgem Dread Mothy Lord and Halfwitted Apprentice Loremaster Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Thomas Aquinas College, Santa Paula, CA Posts: 10,820	And nice black robes! __________________ Crux fidelis, inter omnes arbor una nobilis. Nulla talem silva profert, fronde, flore, germine. Dulce lignum, dulce clavo, dulce pondus sustinens. 'With a melon?' - Eric Idle

02-01-2003, 09:46 PM	#34
ArwenEvenstar Elf Lord Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: and why do YOU want to know? Posts: 685	Cirdan and his Elves sing the Accountancy Shanty (it's the first one under the .Mp3 songs So I like Hobbits I like Hobbits They only come up to your knees Yet they're wise and they're witty And they're ready to please I know that sucks but ya know __________________ The only thing active about me is my imagination!

02-02-2003, 12:39 PM	#35
FrodoFriend Halfwitted Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Eryn Vorn Posts: 1,659	Umm, just ignore this, please, I couldn't delete it. __________________ Fingolfin lives! ... in my finger! The Crossroads of Arda - Warning. Halfwit content. Not appropriate for people with IQ of over 18. The Fellowship of the Message Board Nyáréonié - The Tale of Tears Last edited by FrodoFriend : 02-02-2003 at 12:52 PM.

02-02-2003, 12:51 PM	#36
FrodoFriend Halfwitted Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Eryn Vorn Posts: 1,659	LOL!!! Great thread!! I was thinking the same thing as Coney, but more like this: Gandalf to Balrog: YOU SHALL NOT PASS!! . . . Until you answer me these questions three! Here's another: Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas in Fangorn when they first see Gandalf, before they know who he is. Aragorn: Might we know your name, and then hear what it is that you have to say to us? Gandalf: There are some that call me . . . Tim. __________________ Fingolfin lives! ... in my finger! The Crossroads of Arda - Warning. Halfwit content. Not appropriate for people with IQ of over 18. The Fellowship of the Message Board Nyáréonié - The Tale of Tears

02-02-2003, 05:49 PM	#37
Narsil's Master Elven Warrior Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Indian,USA Posts: 109	rewrite the cavetroll in moria from fotr as the evil bunny __________________ naur an edraith amen, naur dan i ngaurhoth! well your on fire now. go team fencing!!!! fingolfin rox elven sox

02-02-2003, 06:55 PM	#38
ArwenEvenstar Elf Lord Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: and why do YOU want to know? Posts: 685	lol, the cavetroll is a good idea __________________ The only thing active about me is my imagination!

02-02-2003, 07:14 PM	#39
Gwaimir Windgem Dread Mothy Lord and Halfwitted Apprentice Loremaster Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Thomas Aquinas College, Santa Paula, CA Posts: 10,820	Hmm, somehow the cute fluffy little cave-troll doesn't work for me... __________________ Crux fidelis, inter omnes arbor una nobilis. Nulla talem silva profert, fronde, flore, germine. Dulce lignum, dulce clavo, dulce pondus sustinens. 'With a melon?' - Eric Idle

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