What would you do? heh heh heh . . .

[Rána Eressëa]

Oh, that's so not fair. From now on I'm calling you FrodoFiend.

Just kidding You know I love ya.

[FrodoFriend]

Awww, thanks.

And now . . . on with the story!!

[FrodoFriend]

Narrator: And so the heroes charged through the Big, Evil, Reinforced Door, straight into the Next Room, which to all outward appearances was empty. Despite their many trials and battles, the Messageboardship had held true to each other . . . up until now. However, what they were about to encounter dwarfed (or is it dwarved?) any danger they had heretofore faced. They were soon to be caught completely off guard by -

WY: HiiiiiiiiiYAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! *swipes of Narrator's head with his staff*
All: WAYFARER!!!
WY: What?
RE: You just killed the Narrator!!
FF: What's wrong with you?
WY: Why is everyone yelling at me?
RE: STOP STEALING MY LINE! You killed the Narrator!
WY: No, no, he's not dead . . . see? *props up Narrators bleeding head on his body* Look, he's saying 'hello!' Now isn't that sweet?
Sam: He's DEAD, you imbecilic fool!
WY: No he isn't!
FF: Yes he IS!
WY: No he isn't! See, he's talking! *WY does a ventriloquism act*
WY/Narrator: Hello! I'm the Narrator and I am all right!
WY: See? He just said he was all right!
RE: YOU said that!
WY: No I didn't!
CH: Now, now, I'm sure we can patch this up . . . with the help of a little bit of Dwwaaaaaaaa -
TS: AI! AIIIEEE!!
AL: What is it NOW?
TS: Look! Look!
JD: What is it?
FF: Well, if Wayfarer hadn't killed the Narrator, we'd know!
WY: *throws away dead Narrator's body* We need a new Narrator!
All: We need a new Narrator!

Luckily for the Messageboardship, The Powers That Be are willing to send along another Narrator to replace the one that Wayfarer killed.

WY: I did not!

Yes you did!

WY: *swings staff threateningly* You wanna be next?

Erm . . .

WY: That's what I thought!

Anyway . . .

TS: AI!! AIEEE!!
AL: What is it? What new danger must we face?
JD: Is it Evilijah?
CH: Is it Sauron?
AL: Is it Martha?
FW: Can I rescue you all from it?
RE: *sniffs* What's that smell?

Unbeknownst to the Messageboardship, the Next Room is filled with a deadly morgul spell. The evilness of this spell gives it a most disgusting and putrid smell, that can be detected by people perceptive in such areas (as Rogue Elf apparently is). The effects of this spell will now be seen.

Sam: I don't see anything dangerous.
FW: Oh, just because you don't see anything, OF COURSE that means there's nothing there!
Sam: Hey, I'm just using my good old hobbit sense, of which you apparently have none!
FW: *threateningly* You wanna say that again?
Sam: Great, now you're deaf AS WELL as lacking in common sense -
FW: GRRRRRR! *leaps on Sam*
JD: Hey, hey, stop fighting!
AL: Excuse me, I believe I am the leader of this expedition?
WY: No you're not!
AL: Well, you're hardly competent!
WY: What?
AL: You've been beaten and humiliated by three Balrogs AND you accidently killed the original Narrator!
WY: Yeah, well all YOU do is make out with Liv all the time, Longshanks!
AL: WHAT'D YOU CALL ME? *draws Nostril*
WY: Yeah, and your sword has a dumb name too!
AL: How would like to make a closer acquaintance with my sword?
WY: With your Nostril, you mean? No thank you!
*Soon Wayfarer and Aldesign are in the middle of a chick fight*
AL: Ow! Stop pulling my hair! *sniffles*
Liv: My darling! Aldesign! *screams at Martha* This is all your fault!!! *begins fighting with Martha*

Pretty soon, Churl and Tesseract are engaged in a fancy jujitsu match, JD and the three Frodos are wrestling on the floor, and anyone else I haven't mentioned is also fighting in some bizarre manner. Meanwhile, Rogue Elf is puzzled.

RE: *to herself* How can they all fight with this horrible smell? Why are they fighting at all? This is all very odd. Why am I saying the word 'all' in every sentence? *looks around* Narrator?

What, you expect ME to answer your inane questions?

RE: Jeez, sorry!
*She watches the brawling for a while*
RE: I have to DO something!
FF: *pops up from somewhere* Hullo!
RE: *stares* Why aren't you fighting?
FF: Well, it was fun for a while, but Wayfarer and Aldesign fight like girls, and then Jerseydevil broke my Magnadoodle. *looks sadly at the shards of her toy*
RE: Do you smell something?
FF: What? *looks hurt* Okay, I KNOW I haven't showered in days, but REALLY, there's no cause to be all mean about it!
RE: I wasn't talking about you, numbskull!
FF: Oh. What then?
RE: I have a feeling something very strange is going on.

Suddenly, Wayfarer stands up.

WY: I can't TAKE IT ANYMORE! I'm going on vacation! *stomps off*
JD: *stops fighting with the Frodos* I am TIRED of watching over you *points at RE* and your ridiculous hobbit! I am outta here!
TS: AI! And I'm sick of you all treating my like a kid, and stereotyping me at that! AIE! *throws down his bow and runs off*
FF: This does not look good.

And somewhere relatively close, hostile eyes are watching.

Evilijah: *looks up from his Magic 8 Ball* MWAHAHAHAHA!! My diabolical plan has succeeded! The Messageboardship is breaking!
Soon, soon all my plans will be brought to their glorious finish!

[Feraway Hawkbriar]

ummm...Aldesign... could you not edit my drawings please? I really only thought you were only going to color them. Its nothing personal, and I'm not mad or anything, but I'm reeeeally not comfortable with you doing that. Could I go and color them instead, then E-mail you the finished files?.

[Rána Eressëa]

Ooh, I got the next part!

[FrodoFriend]

If you have some spare time, and like fanfic, check out this one:

Time Will Tell

It's a good one (especially for being serious).

[Rána Eressëa]

(RE & FF stare on as Wayfarer, Jerseydevil, and Tesseract stalk off. First, they have no idea how the heck Jerseydevil magically appeared up there with them, and second of all, everyone else's magical appearance also seemed to come out of nowhere. So now they watch as Eowyn runs off with Jerseydevil, Martha declares she hates everyone including Wayfarer and walks off by herself never to be heard from again, Gerbil and Christina sneak off together also never to be heard from again, Aldesign and Liv sneak off with each other too but are heard from again, and Sam & Feraway run off screaming while Frodo #2 follows Sam. RE & FF blink a few times before they realize only five people are left with them. Churl is sitting in a corner drinking his Dwwaaaarrrrvvvvviiissshhhh Ale, Frodo #1 and Frodo #3 are also staring at the air, and Galadriel & Hugo are standing quietly nearby.)

Hugo: Eh-heh-heh-heh-heh...this is so amusing! AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!! [twitches]
Galadriel: Hugo, dear, take your Ritalin.

(Galadriel gives Hugo his Ritalin, and he swallows the pills with the Dwarvish Ale Churl lends to him. Suddenly Hugo is calmed.)

Hugo: Alright...exactly what's going on here?
Churl: Aye... [shakes his head] ...it seems the others got carried away with fighting and stalked off. We're all doomed now. No one here can stop the Dark, Evil forces of Evilijah, the Evil from the Wood...
Rogue Elf: Ah, can't we just say Sauron? He is Sauron, anyways.
FrodoFriend: Yeah, she's got a point there.
Rogue Elf: Really?!
FrodoFriend: Yeah!
Rogue Elf: Awww...that's so sweet! I think someone deserves a hug!

(Rogue Elf hugs FrodoFriend.)

Frodo #3: Awww...that's so sweet...
Frodo #1: Let's all hug!
Churl: Well, it would lift my spirits...
Galadriel: Yes, hugs are delightful...
Hugo: Hugs! Hugs! Everyone gets hugs!

(Everyone is now hugging. Hugging...and hugging...and hugging...)

Rogue Elf: [sighs] I feel so happy now!
FrodoFriend: I feel like everyone's heart is beautiful!
Churl: I feel like the whole world is full of Dwwwaaaarrrrvvvviiiisssshhhhh Ale!
Frodo #1: I feel like my spirit is in Valinor!
Frodo #3: I feel...well, hold on, that's not appropriate...

(Meanwhile, somewhere nearby...)

Evilijah: [staring in his Magic 8 Ball] AHHH!! NOOO!! This can't be happening! My plan!! My Dark, Cruel, and Evil plan is being foiled by a bunch of sideshow freaks from Middle-Earth!!!

(Back at somewhere else nearby...)

Hugo: Hey! I'm not from Middle-Earth!

(Meanwhile, somewhere nearby...)

Evilijah: Oh, well, excuse me.

(Back at somewhere--)

Hugo: Oh, would you quit that?!

(Hey! You trying doing this job without confusing the readers!)

Hugo: I don't know why I should try, you're already doing a great job of it--

(Watch it, buster.)

Galadriel: Alright now, everyone, stop fighting and listen up. We should all gather up all our happiness and use it against the Dark, Evil forces of Evilijah...
Hugo: [searches his pockets] AHHH!!! My special magic Spoon is missing!!! NOOOO!!! [begins weeping sadly]
Galadriel: Oh, Hugo, you're ruining the happiness! [magically conjurs up Hugo's special magic Spoon] Here you go, dear. Now, be happy!
Hugo: Oh, Galadriel! You've kept my Spoon safe all this time! I'm so happy!!! [hugs Galadriel]
Galadriel: Now, we mustn't waste any time! Hurry! Let us find Evilijah and foil his Evil Plan!

(Meanwhile, through Evilijah's Magic 8 Ball...)

Evilijah: Oh, you've already done that, you idiot! Think up something else!

(Back at our heroes' meeting...)

Frodo #3: Hey...I think we've already done that...

(Meanwhile, in Evilijah's Evil Lair #2...)

Evilijah: Well, if it isn't my counterpart that figures it out.

(Okay, I'm really tired of doing this...)

Galadriel: Don't worry, dear, I'll take it from here. [looks at RE, FF, F#1, F#3, Churl, & Hugo] Then if we've already foiled his plan, let's destroy him!

(Cue ADVENTUROUS music.)

Rogue Elf: AI! AI! Let's destroy him!
FrodoFriend: AI! AI! Let's destroy him!
Churl: Aye! Aye! Let's destroy him!
Frodo #1: AI! AI! Let's destroy him!
Frodo #3: I....oh, that's not appropriate...

(RE, FF, Frodo #1, Frodo #3, Churl, Hugo, & Galadriel continue on their mission to destroy Evilijah...)


~~~~~


P.S. -- AI! AI! Don't fret if you're character ran off. They end up coming back! Well, except for Martha, Gerbil, and Christina. And, yes, Gerbil, you and Christina live "happily ever after".

[aldesign]

pictures, and bad spelling have been removed

as i didnt receive one good msg about the colouring.
and i must be fair to Feraway Hawkbriar.


cheers
aldesign
andy

[Rána Eressëa]

Oh, my God...I didn't tell you I liked the coloring! I do, I do, I do! Of course, I still can't figure out why I have no lips...

Personally, I wish you could keep them up, but, you know, that's Feraway's call.

[Rána Eressëa]

*crickets*

Is anyone going to add on to this?

[aldesign]

i put a new Teaser up for all to see
about the site for this online-book thingy

www.fotmb.bravepages.com
(fellowship of the messageboard)

Its a list of the chapters ive so-far cleaned up,
u can all go and enjoy the funny chapter titles.
gogoogogogogogog

aldesign
andy

[Rána Eressëa]

*laughs hysterically*

I can't wait 'til you get the chapters up, Aldesign!

[Laurelyn]

Funny chapter titles . . . I'm waiting painteintly, twiddling my thumbs, for the actual chapters to be up . . .

[FrodoFriend]

I kinda liked the coloring too. Oh well. HA HA HA!! Can you believe how long this is? NOBODY WRITE!!

[FrodoFriend]

As the now diminished Messageboardship continues on its mission, they are rejoined by Tesseract!

TS: AI! AI!
All: AI! AI! Tesseract!
TS: AI! I heard you all shouting 'AI!' and I suddenly realized that I really love you guys!
All: Awwwww . . . group hug!
*Hugging . . . hugging . . . more hugging*
All: Awwwwwww . . .
*Hugging . . . hugging . . . *
All: Awwwww . . .
*Hugging . . . hugging . . . hugging*
RE: Is anyone else getting tired of this?

There are general murmurs of assent. Everyone stops hugging.
*crickets*

CH: Well. I guess we oughta, ya know, kill Sauron?
FF: Hmm.
RE: I suppose . . .
Frodo#1: Probably . . .
Frodo#3: Actually, I really don't feel like it.

Everyone looks at Frodo#3.

Frodo#3: Well, why should we? What's he gonna do?
CH: But he's Sauron. He's evil.
Frodo#3: Oh, please. I don't know about you, but I'm about tired of running around foiling his evilly ineffective plans. Heck, he'll probably foil them himself if we don't. The bad guys never win, you know.
TS: He speaks with the voice of wisdom!
FF: Yeah, hey that sounds pretty good to me! Screw Sauron!
Frodo#3: Plus the lights came back on hours ago.
RE: Great! Now we have lots of time for . . . other things. *looks slyly at Frodo#3*
WY: *mysteriously reappearing* I know! Let's have a . . . toga party!!!
All: TOGA! TOGA! TOGA!
WY: But I'm the only who gets to wear white.

A few minutes later, the Messageboardship invades Pelennor Fields, large furniture store, stealing bedsheets from the bed and wrapping them around themselves haphazardly.

TS: AI! AI! This is fun! Now if only I had a girl . . .
RE: How about some . . . Dwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrvish ALE! instead? *sprays ale everywhere*
WY: ACK! My new white toga! You fool of a Rogue!
CH: Hey, how'd you get my ale anyway?

Declining to answer, Rogue Elf throws a huge pillow at Wayfarer and the empty bottle of ale at Churl.

CH: YOU DRANK MY ALE!!! *throws even huger pillow at RE*

Soon the Messageboardship is engaged in a wild pillow fight. FrodoFriend trips Churl and pours ale on his head. Frodos #1 and #3 wrap Wayfarer up in a blanket and roll him along the floor. Tesseract ties Rogue Elf's cloak strings to a bedpost and places a bottle of ale just out of her reach.

RE: ALE! *grabs for ale but finds it is out of reach and falls on her face instead*

Galadriel throws the hugest pillow yet at Hugo, sending him reeling across the floor and crashing on top of Wayfarer.
Let's see that again! Instant replay!
Galadriel: *throws pillow in slow motion*
*Pillow flies through the air in slomo, hitting Hugo in the back of the head. Hugo falls in slomo*
Hugo: *distorted voice* Noooooooooooooooooooooo . . . !
*Hugo trips over his own feet and crashes on top of Wayfarer*
In normal time, the two Frodos quickly roll Hugo up in the blanket with WY. They high-five each other.

At this moment, Sam, Feraway, Frodo#2, Jerseydevil, Eowyn, Aldesign, and Liv return.

Frodo#2: Hey! Anyone want some shrooms?
JD: What?!
Frodo#2: Mushrooms, of course! I'm talking about mushrooms . . . Farmer Maggot's latest crop!
JD: Oh, all right then. *eats some shrooms*
Frodo#2: *snickers*

Soon everyone has had a few too many shrooms and a little too much ale and is convorting about in a possibly hallucinatory delirium.
Slowly, the scene begins to dim and grow smaller. The voices, laughter and screaming fade. Evilijah is looking through his Magic 8 Ball, watching the entire twisted process.

Evilijah: WHAT IS THIS?!
Martha: I told you they were up to no good!
Evilijah: How did they escape from my evil trap? *sniffs* I'm just no good at being an evil overlord, Martha . . . I'll never amount to anything . . . I'm nothing but a pathetic loser! *bursts into tears*
Martha: There, there, it's not that bad.
Evilijah: But I've ruined everything!
Martha: We can still salvage this situation.
Evilijah: *stops crying and looks up* What? How?
Martha: Have you stopped to wonder where exactly those shrooms came from?
Evilijah: *begins to grin* You . . . ?
Martha: *smiles and nods*
Evilijah: Martha, you're so diabolical! Pretending to be in love with Wayfarer, getting into everyone's confidences, and now, drugging them with shrooms! It's brilliant, brilliant!
Martha: We have only to wait . . .

Back at the party, the members of the Messageboardship are, one by one, dropping off into a deep, drugged sleep . . .

Evilijah: Now?
Martha: *smirks* I think our friends at the Messageboard are in for a very unpleasant surprise.

[Rána Eressëa]

Why do I not like the sound of that?

[FrodoFriend]

Maybe because . . . it's going to be an "unpleasant" surprise?

[Rána Eressëa]

I bet

[Feraway Hawkbriar]

but...I hate mushrooms. Oh well.

[Legolas_BowKing]

To me the actors out of FOTR were just repreasenting the real people so if i saw them in the street i would say look there is Elijah Wood not look there is Frodo.