Weird turn-ons/ first things noticed in opposite gender - Page 15

Coney · 05-26-2003, 06:02 AM

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Originally posted by Baby-K
Yeah, I'm kinda used to him - might as well let nature take it's course

Sheesh - wish I were 'older' Then again - I'm already some bloody confident, by the time I'm 'older' I'd have rewritten the Karma Sytra the way it's supposed to be

the Karma sutra is an evil book

............... especially when yer trying the positions, even more so when yer trying the positions and yer only realise later that the book is bloody well upside down

We nearly bleedin' well crippled ourselves....

Baby-K · 05-26-2003, 06:11 AM

That's why I'm rewriting it

With step by step illustrations instead of some really badly translated Chinese / Japanese

Oh & if I may suggest something - use pillows (specially for them upside down ones - knocking yer noggin on the floor aint all that erotic

)

EDIT - I KNOW it's actually Indian (Hindu) - the Chinese / Japanese was a joke

Coney · 05-26-2003, 06:17 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Baby-K
That's why I'm rewriting it With step by step illustrations instead of some really badly translated Chinese / Japanese Oh & if I may suggest something - use pillows (specially for them upside down ones - knocking yer noggin on the floor aint all that erotic )

I'm glad yer rewriting it then!

It always amazed me........page 34 will be called "Beautifull Lotus Worships Preying Butterfly On A Moonlit Horizon" (or some such malarky)...........when the reality is that yer spend half an hour trying to enact page 34 whithout getting yer partners elbow stuck in yer ear or carpet burns on yer wotnot

Took me three attempts to get that pg-13

Baby-K · 05-26-2003, 06:29 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Coney
I'm glad yer rewriting it then!

It always amazed me........page 34 will be called "Beautifull Lotus Worships Preying Butterfly On A Moonlit Horizon" (or some such malarky)...........when the reality is that yer spend half an hour trying to enact page 34 whithout getting yer partners elbow stuck in yer ear or carpet burns on yer wotnot

Took me three attempts to get that pg-13

I still think some of those standing postitions are the funniest - how can ye keep a straight face (not to mention straight...........erm...............oh hell, no PG13 comes to mind.........you get the idea) when yer supposed to stand like a one legged gardener pushing an overloaded wheelbarrow?

I swear, bugger the condoms, ye need shoulder & elbow pads for some of those positions!

But not to worry, my version will have full illustrations with arrows pointing at the right spots

Coney · 05-26-2003, 06:35 AM

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Originally posted by Baby-K
I still think some of those standing postitions are the funniest - how can ye keep a straight face (not to mention straight...........erm...............oh hell, no PG13 comes to mind.........you get the idea) when yer supposed to stand like a one legged gardener pushing an overloaded wheelbarrow? I swear, bugger the condoms, ye need shoulder & elbow pads for some of those positions!

But not to worry, my version will have full illustrations with arrows pointing at the right spots

Gods yes, bugger the standing up ones...........they are too much like hard work

It's not so much arrows needed hun.........it's more a case of joining the dots, I'm double jointed.......but even some of my bits don't get in that kind of a knot

How the hell India became so populous with a sex manual like that, is anyone's guess

Baby-K · 05-26-2003, 06:46 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Coney
Gods yes, bugger the standing up ones...........they are too much like hard work

It's not so much arrows needed hun.........it's more a case of joining the dots, I'm double jointed.......but even some of my bits don't get in that kind of a knot

How the hell India became so populous with a sex manual like that, is anyone's guess

Dunno, but I would imagine they require some serious health insurance for 'sport' injuries

Mebbe ccman can tell us

Join the dots ye say? OK, that might work - any other suggestions?

Ye're double jointed? I thought ye were just joking

Hmmm, interesting..............

Coney · 05-26-2003, 06:54 AM

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Dunno, but I would imagine they require some serious health insurance for 'sport' injuries Mebbe ccman can tell us

*shudders at the thought*

Last time I saw ccman on here he'd opened a thread about how to commit suicide

(hope the daft bugger hasn't done it! )

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Join the dots ye say? OK, that might work - any other suggestions?

Well, if the book came with a free game of Twiser.........that might come in handy

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Ye're double jointed? I thought ye were just joking Hmmm, interesting..............

Yup, I'm a fully flexible, bendable bunny

Baby-K · 05-26-2003, 07:04 AM

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(hope the daft bugger hasn't done it! )

Nah, just saw he posted summin in the Fave Quote thread - he's in pain but around, dunno if the pain is from all he's got up to with the neighbours' daughters

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Well, if the book came with a free game of Twiser.........that might come in handy

OK, then I'll throw in a voucher for a free bottle of Tequila or Rum too (I've found that alcohol makes one really flexible - hey mebbe that's why ye'r double jointed

)

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Yup, I'm a fully flexible, bendable bunny

*Resists the temptation to say summin about gymnastics..........

*

Can I bend you to my will?

Coney · 05-26-2003, 07:10 AM

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Nah, just saw he posted summin in the Fave Quote thread - he's in pain but around, dunno if the pain is from all he's got up to with the neighbours' daughters

That's good

(dunno about the neighbours' daughters, gotta be better than the suicide thing tho')

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OK, then I'll throw in a voucher for a free bottle of Tequila or Rum too (I've found that alcohol makes one really flexible - hey mebbe that's why ye'r double jointed )

Rum is good

whens it being published.........I might take out a weekly subscription

If being double jointed were alcohol related..........I'd be a bleedin' octupus hun

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Can I bend you to my will?

Me will is all yours hun, just don't leave it where I can find it when yer done shaping it

Baby-K · 05-26-2003, 07:30 AM

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That's good (dunno about the neighbours' daughters, gotta be better than the suicide thing tho')

Yeah, it would be a shame if he wasn't around - he's got a quirky sense of humour that I like

Ask him about the neighbours' daughters......

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Rum is good whens it being published.........I might take out a weekly subscription

First edition will be published after my birthday party (need to work on it still

)

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If being double jointed were alcohol related..........I'd be a bleedin' octupus hun

Ah, the more hands to play with hun.........the more you drink the more hands ye get to hold the drinks with............seems like a bloody nice deal

*stares at own body & waits for tentacles to appear*

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Me will is all yours hun, just don't leave it where I can find it when yer done shaping it

Oh hun, it's not the will that ye need to worry about as far as shaping things go

But it's a pretty good start anyway

Coney · 05-26-2003, 07:38 AM

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Yeah, it would be a shame if he wasn't around - he's got a quirky sense of humour that I like Ask him about the neighbours' daughters......

Will do

Erm......he hasn't murdered them or anything has he? ccman seems to like to post about that sort of thing

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First edition will be published after my birthday party (need to work on it still )

Any chance of a sneak preview?

I have excellent proof reading and research skills

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Ah, the more hands to play with hun.........the more you drink the more hands ye get to hold the drinks with............seems like a bloody nice deal

*stares at own body & waits for tentacles to appear*

That's true............only trouble is that I have eight hands and only one mouth

(mother nature is a fickle thing at times)

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Oh hun, it's not the will that ye need to worry about as far as shaping things go But it's a pretty good start anyway

Ah well, where there is a will there's a way

(actually prefer the saying.........Where there is a will, there is a relative..........but that's a diffo kinda will)

Baby-K · 05-26-2003, 07:57 AM

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Will do Erm......he hasn't murdered them or anything has he? ccman seems to like to post about that sort of thing

Nope, no murder (unless that's a new development)

But yeah, he does seem to want to kill a few things - notably the neighbour's dog & some other guy's budgie (and now himself) - erm on second thought, don't ask about the daughters

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Any chance of a sneak preview? I have excellent proof reading and research skills

Deal - I've been looking for someone to help with the research

Ye can have a preview & invitation to the launch party plus a free, autographed copy

But it'll be hard work, are you sure you're up for it?

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That's true............only trouble is that I have eight hands and only one mouth (mother nature is a fickle thing at times)

Yup, but ye save time by not having to go to the bar so often - 'cept expect it's lost with the number of trips required to the bathroom eh?

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Ah well, where there is a will there's a way

And where there's a way there's always some half drunk bum selling maps to the sights along the way

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(actually prefer the saying.........Where there is a will, there is a relative..........but that's a diffo kinda will)

Ah, dead relatives - sometimes I prefer them that way

Coney · 05-26-2003, 08:10 AM

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Nope, no murder (unless that's a new development) But yeah, he does seem to want to kill a few things - notably the neighbour's dog & some other guy's budgie (and now himself) - erm on second thought, don't ask about the daughters

Murder a budgie?

......... Yeah, I think I'll leave ccman to his little plans in peace :/

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Deal - I've been looking for someone to help with the research Ye can have a preview & invitation to the launch party plus a free, autographed copy But it'll be hard work, are you sure you're up for it?

The work will be hard?

Yeah, I'm up for the job hun.......these things need a lot of careful research..........can't have someone spraining their wotsit if a mistake should crop up on page 17 can we?

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Yup, but ye save time by not having to go to the bar so often - 'cept expect it's lost with the number of trips required to the bathroom eh?

Yeah, time saved would be taken up with time spent in the cludgy.........on the brighter side tho' the odds of falling flat on my face will be reduced, thanks to all those arms

[quote]And where there's a way there's always some half drunk bum selling maps to the sights along the way [/quote}

Hey! I make good money selling those maps.

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Ah, dead relatives - sometimes I prefer them that way

*nods* certainly makes them easier to live with........or not as the case may be.

Baby-K · 05-26-2003, 08:32 AM

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The work will be hard? Yeah, I'm up for the job hun.......these things need a lot of careful research..........can't have someone spraining their wotsit if a mistake should crop up on page 17 can we?

And it requires a lot of time & dedication - ye will certainly be required to work a lot of overtime & I cannot guarantee that the pay will be good, but the fringe benefits are fantastic.........that's why we will require a hands on approach hun - to ensure that none of our readers injure themselves ('specially not with p17), mebbe we should break it down - Beginners, Intermediate & Advanced?

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Yeah, time saved would be taken up with time spent in the cludgy.........on the brighter side tho' the odds of falling flat on my face will be reduced, thanks to all those arms

Just remember to leave a few open then - would be a great shame if ye fell down with a beer in every hand - all that spillage would deffo result in a few 'punishment' shots having to be consumed...........on the other hand it would make it bloody easy to cheat at twister

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*nods* certainly makes them easier to live with........or not as the case may be.

If only the bloody cheap sods had left more than debt.....

Coney · 05-26-2003, 08:43 AM

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And it requires a lot of time & dedication - ye will certainly be required to work a lot of overtime & I cannot guarantee that the pay will be good, but the fringe benefits are fantastic.........that's why we will require a hands on approach hun - to ensure that none of our readers injure themselves ('specially not with p17), mebbe we should break it down - Beginners, Intermediate & Advanced?

Or maybe Bendy, Flexy and Is That Your Foot or Mine?

congressmn · 05-26-2003, 09:36 AM

sorry to interrupt.

well the KS is quite a brandname here. A condom by that name is a bestseller too and now with such success they are venturing into other areas as well.

I think you are overlooking the fact that India has had that treasure since the ealry 1600s. It has probably given us enough time to absorb and assimilate and pass on thru the genes.

But yet the population is staggering, no matter how tough the damn manuel is and how much the genes carry.

You may still think why it is still a best seller since it is now inherited thru the genes(if u ask me). Well there is always something left here and there...and there are a billion of us...so we buy and keep and read...

About the neighbour's girls. I am fortunate to have neighbours who have no guns and who like me. they do have scary lookin dogs though.

and why i dint commit suicide? Entmoot's to blame for this. SGH in purticular. SHe closed my threads and my oonly source of - how to commit suicide.

on a final note KS is quite a weird turn on. I stole my first KS (colored) from my grandpa's office. he is an artist alright! alright?
now dont be thinking bad bout my ol grandpa. it is just me that is bad.

another reason to commit suicide. I wanna die i wanna die, if it werent for those special neighbours...

Baby-K · 05-26-2003, 09:47 AM

Heya ccman! If you don't understand the positions / find them difficult, how are we supposed to manage 'em all? I mean you have the genes 'n all & we only have the books / videos, see why we want to rewrite them to make them easier for us 'right gene' challenged individuals?

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and why i dint commit suicide? Entmoot's to blame for this. SGH in purticular. SHe closed my threads and my oonly source of - how to commit suicide.

I'm glad she did & that it kept you from doing summin so silly - don't commit suicide ok, we need you around to explain the KS to us (btw - KS are my initials, I think the cosmos must be conspiring against me

)

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on a final note KS is quite a weird turn on. I stole my first KS (colored) from my grandpa's office. he is an artist alright! alright?

I got my first copy from a friend as a 'gag' gift - 'twas one of the best prezzies I'd ever received

(Sure - I believe you about yer grandpa

)

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another reason to commit suicide. I wanna die i wanna die, if it werent for those special neighbours...

Now, we won't have such talk anymore ye hear....just you keep thinking of all the lovely things you'll be leaving behind eh....

congressmn · 05-26-2003, 09:49 AM

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Originally posted by Coney
Or maybe Bendy, Flexy and Is That Your Foot or Mine?

yes i have to agree, COney's classification is better. I think he will make an excellent proofreader.

and at the last stage, you must, you totally must take care that it remains as : is that your foot or mine, ne bigger and it will be "me bite my own foot". and the last thing you know, people are here and there rallying and once again denouncing yet another KA translation.

o and visit "khajuraho" in India that will be mega-encouraging

congressmn · 05-26-2003, 09:55 AM

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I got my first copy from a friend as a 'gag' gift - 'twas one of the best prezzies I'd ever received (Sure - I believe you about yer grandpa )

o thanks, he is really a helpful man, but plz plz dont approach him ever for suggestions to your book.

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Now, we won't have such talk anymore ye hear....just you keep thinking of all the lovely things you'll be leaving behind eh....

what about those in heaven that i will be missing?

Baby-K · 05-26-2003, 10:07 AM

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o thanks, he is really a helpful man, but plz plz dont approach him ever for suggestions to your book.

I won't ask yer grandpa - I promise (or were you referring to my friend? If so, just fyi - it was a girl that gave it to me, not a guy)

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what about those in heaven that i will be missing?

They're dead, they will remain in heaven until you get there, no need to rush it. Besides, you have so much living left to do, killing yourself will just deprive the world of your presence, which would be a terrible, terrible thing

05-26-2003, 06:11 AM	#282
Baby-K Corruptor Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Jozi SA Posts: 1,885	That's why I'm rewriting it With step by step illustrations instead of some really badly translated Chinese / Japanese Oh & if I may suggest something - use pillows (specially for them upside down ones - knocking yer noggin on the floor aint all that erotic ) EDIT - I KNOW it's actually Indian (Hindu) - the Chinese / Japanese was a joke __________________ Don't wet yourself with excitement. Last edited by Baby-K : 05-26-2003 at 09:34 AM.

05-26-2003, 09:36 AM	#296
congressmn Incharge: neighbourhood security Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: on my 499th post Posts: 481	sorry to interrupt. well the KS is quite a brandname here. A condom by that name is a bestseller too and now with such success they are venturing into other areas as well. I think you are overlooking the fact that India has had that treasure since the ealry 1600s. It has probably given us enough time to absorb and assimilate and pass on thru the genes. But yet the population is staggering, no matter how tough the damn manuel is and how much the genes carry. You may still think why it is still a best seller since it is now inherited thru the genes(if u ask me). Well there is always something left here and there...and there are a billion of us...so we buy and keep and read... About the neighbour's girls. I am fortunate to have neighbours who have no guns and who like me. they do have scary lookin dogs though. and why i dint commit suicide? Entmoot's to blame for this. SGH in purticular. SHe closed my threads and my oonly source of - how to commit suicide. on a final note KS is quite a weird turn on. I stole my first KS (colored) from my grandpa's office. he is an artist alright! alright? now dont be thinking bad bout my ol grandpa. it is just me that is bad. another reason to commit suicide. I wanna die i wanna die, if it werent for those special neighbours... __________________ i am nothing. i am a cold stone, which deceives with the light it reflects, giving illusions of warmth.