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10-06-2002, 02:15 PM
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#281 |
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Enting
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Mol, Belgium
Posts: 94
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Illuvatar : "DEFENSE! DEFENSE!"
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The name's DraztiK, but those whose name isn't totally blasted into Oblivion yet may call me DraZ... * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Our Armies in England, Ireland, Scotland and Wales Our Brothers in Belgium, Holland and France will not fail. Denmark, Sweden, Norway, Finland, Italy, Switzerland, Austria, back to the Glory of Germany! ~Manowar - Blood of the Kings~ |
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10-06-2002, 03:01 PM
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#282 |
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Elven Warrior
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Wherever I may roam
Posts: 207
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Frodo: You mean I have to leave the Shire TONIGHT? But I already got tickets to the Led Zeppelin concert, and Rosie Cotton said she would come with me!
Haldir: Holy crap! Don't sneak up on me like that! How'd you guys get in here, anyway? |
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10-07-2002, 05:15 AM
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#283 |
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Elven Warrior
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Crickhollow in the summer, and Rivendell in the winter
Posts: 397
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(Sauruman to Lurtz)
S: Whom do you serve? L: Saaaaaaam Gamgee! (calmly raps Lurtz on the head with his staff) S: Whom do you serve? L: Saaaaaauron! (really hard thud) S: WHOM DO YOU SERVE?!? L  whimpering) sauruman.....  My dad thought up that one.This is gonna' be a really loooong post.... (outside Moria) Frodo: I wish none of this had ever happened! Gandalf:So say all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. F: That's easy for you to say! You're an Istari! You fall 3000 feet and land on top of a fire demon, and not only live through it, but come out of it with clean clothes! Whereas I just get poked by a Black Rider, and practically die on the spot! G: That's 'cause yo' nuthin' but a hairy-footed liddle' pygmy! F:Well I'll just put this ring on and make you bit your own lip! (puts on Ring) F: Bit yo' lippy. G: Must...resist.....must....AAARRGGHHH! That's it! I'll whack you with my staff even if you are invisible! (swing, swing, swing, THUD) (Frodo reappears) F: You got my knuckles, you wretch! You made me drop the Ring! Gollum: Got it! Who's up for a game of wild-goose-chase through Moria?
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'Go away, and never come back!!' '......what?' 'But you're a part of this world! Aren't you?' Frodo lives! |
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10-07-2002, 09:57 AM
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#284 |
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Elven Warrior
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 409
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(At Mount Doom)
Gollum to Frodo: "Throws it in nice Hobbits and make wishes!" (Faramir to the hobbits) Faramir: I would question you further young hobbits but there is no time..............have you seen my 'oliphaunt? The wretched thing has escaped again" (Pippin riding with the Rhohirrim) Pippin:"Well at least my ears are warm" Ewoyn:"Shut it shorty!" |
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10-07-2002, 07:48 PM
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#285 |
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Sapling
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Buckland, When I'm not in Utah
Posts: 8
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Frodo- I wish the ring had never came to me, I wish none of this had happened
Gandalf- That sucks now doesn't it?
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If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jesus Lives!!!!!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If at first you don't succeed, assasinate all who know you failed ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Athiesm is a Non-Prophet organisation ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
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10-07-2002, 08:23 PM
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#286 |
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Elven Warrior
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 409
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(in the forests of Ithilien)
Sam: Did you hear a whistle and what sounded like an answer. I hope it was only a bird. Frodo:Hush Sam! Maybe we should hide? Sam:It may have only been a bird Mr Frodo Frodo: A bird? It was whistling the theme tune from Star Trek Sam!! (Aragorn reunited with Halbared) Aragorn:All is well here are some of my own kin from the far land where I dwelt. Halbarad: Long have we searched for you Aragorn. Aragorn: And glad I am that you've found me Halbarad: Not so fast! Aragorn: Eh? Halbarad: I've only come for that £50 you owe me. Aragorn: But....but there is a war on my kinsmen!!! Halbarad: There will be if you havn't got my money! |
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10-07-2002, 08:33 PM
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#287 |
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Elf Lord
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Down the road on your left...No your other left.
Posts: 1,825
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lol
Gandalf: oh just shut up alredy Elrond and just get to the point . Really take two hourse just to talk about your misreable life. Honestly. Elves these days! Elrond(going purple) Oh really" Sir I was on the floor under the table because I dropped my pencil during my meeting." Gandalf: oh you mean the meeting where everyone was asleep and were talking about the fact you had no soap in your bathroom and was wndering if someone had takin it?
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"I know less then half of you half as well as I should like. And I like less then half of you half as well as you deserve." Bilbo Baggins |
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10-07-2002, 09:11 PM
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#288 |
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Elven Warrior
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 409
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(Deep in Fangorn Forest)
Pippin: I'll be right back Merry just have to answer the call of nature. (Pippin wanders into the trees). Merry: Ok Pippin: *sprinke* *splash* *tinkle* Merry: Pippin! What are you doing!! Pippin: *spinkle* *stop* What do you mean what am I doing? I'm having a ............. Merry: You peeing up an Ents leg!!!!!! Pippin: Oh shiii............. Ent: Hoooommm hhhmmmmmm Its fine........really it is all just nutrients to me............hooooooommmm please, do not forget to shake. |
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10-08-2002, 03:33 PM
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#289 | |
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Hobbit
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Kansas
Posts: 20
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Lol, but I'd like to add this...
Quote:
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10-08-2002, 03:54 PM
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#290 |
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Hobbit
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Kansas
Posts: 20
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YEE HA! Sorry, I'm not good at titles!!
The orc enters the room in which Sauramon is leaning over the Palantir.
Orc: What word from the master? Sauramon: Shhhhh! Blast it! Leave me alone, the games in over time now! Orc: Oh my! Can I watch?! *runs over and leans over Sauraman to watch the game* ------- Gandalf: You shall not pass! Balrog: But why not? Gandalf: Because I said so! Balrog: Yes Mam..er..Sir. ------ Gandalf: Eeeek! A spider! *leaps on to Frodo's shoulders* ------- Frodo (after being stabbed by the sword of the black rider): 'Tis but a flesh wound! ------- Elrond: Oh to hell with this. I'm going to get a job with that old guy at the north pole. Anyone else coming? Other elves: Yeah, we'll go. Beats the hell out of this dark lord enslaving the world thing. -------- Gimli: Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work I go (swings axe and decapitates an Orc). ------- The fellowship as the orc army decends upon them: Hey, could you come back in like half an hour? We're in the middle of a hand here. Want us to deal you in? ------- Gimli (in the mines of Moria): Who wants to play hide and go seek? Gandalf: Nah, let's play freeze tag. I'm It! *Zap!* (Freezes Gimli into a block of ice. Other fellowship members scream and run). ------- Gandalf (as he plunges into the shadow): Ta ta, for now! ------- Legalos: Ooooooh! I broke a nail!! *stomps foot* -------- Gimli: Oh Legalos, how often I have passed the night dreaming of having hair as long and silken as your own. -------- Eye of Sauron: *sigh* If only my eyelashes were a tad longer. -------- Frodo, examining the ring: Pity it doesn't have a nice stone inlaid... -------- Gandalf: Is it secret? Is it safe? Frodo: What?! Oh--the ring, right? Well, I kinda' pawned it off for a cheesburger and some fries. -------- Sam: Oh Frodo, you know how to tell when a girl hobbit really likes you? Frodo: No Sam, how? Sam: She shaves her feet for you Mr. Frodo! -------- And that's it. Some of these were inspired by posts already listed, and are my takes on them. Thanks to those who inspired me  |
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10-08-2002, 08:03 PM
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#291 |
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Elf Lord
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Down the road on your left...No your other left.
Posts: 1,825
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lol, lol Those are good
Gandalf  k Aragorn for Illuvatars sake get a freakin life alredy and stop talking about how much you want to be king!Legolas: staring at hair. Gimli: what staring at your split ends? ( laughs) Legolas: What I have a split end? Where? Get it off, Get it off! (Runs around looking for a brush and scissors.) Balrog:Fi Fy fo fum I smell the blood of a Umm... How does that go again? Oh bother I'll just kill you anyway.
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"I know less then half of you half as well as I should like. And I like less then half of you half as well as you deserve." Bilbo Baggins |
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10-09-2002, 11:30 PM
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#292 |
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Elven Warrior
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: The Second Drawer Down
Posts: 407
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Ok, I thought of another one - Beware!
 Frodo at the Council of Elrond: I will take the ring...wait..on second thoughts... why me? Gandalf: It's your birthright man. Just ****ing take it. Anyone know what movie this is from? Hint: It's got Elijah Wood in it, saying the "why me" part. Lanelf.
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Hey, I'm back! *resounding silence* You didn't even notice I was gone, did you? Well, I'm back now anyway. Artemis Fowl must find Mulch Diggums! You'll never shut down the real Napster |
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10-10-2002, 08:55 AM
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#293 |
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Elven Warrior
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Right here in between yesterday and tomorrow.
Posts: 357
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Beren (with a Henny Youngman deadpan): "Take my wife. Please."
(At the Council of Elrond) Galdor of the Havens, who sat near by, overhead him. "You speak for me also," he cried, the sudden shout causing Elrond to fall out of his chair, Boromir and Aragorn to jump up with drawn (1-1/2) swords, and Gandalf to strike a firework glare atop his staff. "Whoa, Galdor," said Elrond, as he recovered and sat back in his chair, "I've seen three ages of the world, but I’m still not as deaf as Cirdan, OK? Keep it down to a dull roar!" "Sorry," said Galdor, in a whisper. Bilbo: “Lobelia, I love you. I’m crazy about you. Leave Otho and fly away with me to Rivendell, where we can live happily ever after.” Luthien: “Oh, I’ll have to hum it. I can’t remember the words.” Treebeard, lifting up his foot: “Hmmmm. They don’t look like Orcs.” Otho: “Take my wife. Please.” |
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10-10-2002, 12:43 PM
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#294 |
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Halfwitted Queen of Lothlorien
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Far off in a dream
Posts: 1,166
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Aragorn: May I marry your daughter?
Elrond: Oh sure, go right ahead! But please, *whispers* Don't tell her the real reason why her purple dresss is stretched out! Denethor: *singing* Knock knock knockin' on heaven's doooor, yeaaaaaah...
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The beuatiful mind/The beautiful heart/Doesn't deserve the pain/How can I stop the rain? -How Can I Stop the Rain? by Kessid, my new favorite band +Every good thing that comes into my life is only a reflection of the greatest gift of all; the offering of yourself, dear Son of God+ Always remember, you're uniqe, just like everybody else! "The one constant through all the years has been the Trombone. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. Its been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again, but the Trombone has marked the time. This field, this section, this band is a part of our past. It reminds us of all that once was good, and could be again. Oh, people will come . . . people will most definitely come." |
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10-10-2002, 01:52 PM
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#295 | |
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King of Nargothrond
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Canada! eh?
Posts: 2,002
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Quote:
  
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"THE EAGLES ARE COMING, THE EAGLES ARE COMING......AND A MOTH!!!!!" |
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10-10-2002, 06:32 PM
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#296 |
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Elf Lord
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Down the road on your left...No your other left.
Posts: 1,825
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Arwen:Singing ":diamonds are a girls best friend."
Starts to dance. Aragorn learns a new greeting. Elrond walks into room. Aragorn runs over and sniffs his butt. Elrond looking disgusted looks at Gandalf. Elrond:What have told about teaching him about animal languages? Gandalf :*hums to self.*looks away.
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"I know less then half of you half as well as I should like. And I like less then half of you half as well as you deserve." Bilbo Baggins |
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10-11-2002, 12:40 PM
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#297 |
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Elf Lord
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Tring, Herts, England
Posts: 582
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At the Bridge of Khazad Dum
Gandalf: I am Marcus Aurelius. Husband to a murdered wife, father to a murdered son, and I will have my vengeance. Balrog: Huh??? I apologise for that, it has been going round my head all day. Legolas: Gimli, will you braid my hair for me?
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Entmoot Resident Bard #2 Wielder of the shiny fire extinguisher Worshipper of the divine cheesecake Hamsters and Rangers everywhere, rejoice!!! Minsc, Baldur's Gate 2 Children, don't take drugs. Become a pop star, then people give them to you for free!!! - Billy Mack, Love Actually. While I'm sure the nice people from the local archery club meant well, a moment's consideration would have made them realise that giving my friend and I lethal weapons was probably not a good idea! Dammit, eyeliner and dreadlocks should not be that sexy! |
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10-11-2002, 04:47 PM
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#298 |
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Hobbit
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Aboard the U.S.S. Suicidal Insanity
Posts: 15
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Witch King: There can be only one! (Slices off other Nazguls' heads)
(Cell Phone Rings) Witch King: Yes? Arrgh, for the last time: I'm a DREAD Lord, not a Drug Lord.
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Once you head down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny. And you get dental. All I see is blackness! Oh, my hood's down. Every man lives. Not every man truly dies. Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them. Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk? This is not a dress, it's the standard Dread Lord uniform. If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke? |
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10-12-2002, 04:04 PM
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#299 | |
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Elf Lord
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Tring, Herts, England
Posts: 582
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Quote:
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Entmoot Resident Bard #2 Wielder of the shiny fire extinguisher Worshipper of the divine cheesecake Hamsters and Rangers everywhere, rejoice!!! Minsc, Baldur's Gate 2 Children, don't take drugs. Become a pop star, then people give them to you for free!!! - Billy Mack, Love Actually. While I'm sure the nice people from the local archery club meant well, a moment's consideration would have made them realise that giving my friend and I lethal weapons was probably not a good idea! Dammit, eyeliner and dreadlocks should not be that sexy! |
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10-12-2002, 06:19 PM
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#300 |
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Lady of Westernesse
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Canada (Help! Our parliament building is melting!)
Posts: 761
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aragorn: *big grin* i'm always happy! happyhappyhappyhappyHAPPY!
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Yada, yada, yada |
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