What would you do? heh heh heh . . . - Page 15

Rána Eressëa · 01-23-2002, 07:41 AM

Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! This is so evil! I'll add something this afternoon...

Gerbil · 01-23-2002, 09:29 AM

Quote:

Elijah: [screams] I can stand you three annoying, loudmouth, no-good, whiny, half-assed, obsessive-compulsive, horny, three-foot six-inched excuses for FEMALE TEENAGERS!!!
RE, FF, & Sam: [stare wide-eyed] Now that was uncalled for.

But entirely accurate.
Heh, only kidding.
You are not all three-foot six-inches in height.

By the way, I would like to demand a retraction on you portraying me in this story as selfish and obsessed with women. It's distasteful and I find it deeply offensive.

By the way, who is Christina? You mean Christina Aguilera I hope? She's hot! Man, the things I could do with her *drools*
Quite a lot actually, since she's only marginally taller than a rodent.

PS You'd better hope I don't start writing - could get boring with me simply running up all the girls' skirts. And on a similar thread, can FrodoFriend please start wearing underwear? It's distracting

jerseydevil · 01-23-2002, 01:35 PM

Actually it's Christinna Ricci - they added some Ice Storm in there.

Gerbil · 01-23-2002, 04:08 PM

Even better

Rána Eressëa · 01-23-2002, 08:35 PM

Quote:

(Another platform is lowering faster behind them...tied upon the platform are Eowyn & Christina Ricci!)

If you read it thoroughly you would have noticed that, my dear Gerbil

I outright said "Christina Ricci".

By, the way, I'm crammed with book reading and math homework, so I've got no time to write anything! No one write, okay, until I get the next installment in hopefully by tomorrow. I'll have a fair amount of free time then. I have something in plan for Jerseydevil... *laughs EVILLY*

Elijah: HEY! That's my job!

Oh, shut up.

Feraway Hawkbriar · 01-23-2002, 08:49 PM

...Is my first entry for the story ok? ( its back on page14)..I mean..is dosnt suck right?...the reason I ask is becaus I'm terrible at writeing ( I'm above averyage in vocabulaty and spelling and everything, but getting Ideas out in an understandable way is difficult for me)

..just thought I'd ask.

jerseydevil · 01-23-2002, 08:56 PM

I can't believe you're planning something evil for me. I'm not going to tell you about Ice Storm anymore.

Gerbil · 01-23-2002, 09:09 PM

Apologies - I did scan it all to see if I could find a reference, but I must have missed that in the other 723 pages of the story

So, does Christinna like me then? Oh please please PLEASE make us live dirtily ever after together!

Rána Eressëa · 01-23-2002, 10:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Feraway Hawkbriar
...Is my first entry for the story ok? ( its back on page14)..I mean..is dosnt suck right?...the reason I ask is becaus I'm terrible at writeing ( I'm above averyage in vocabulaty and spelling and everything, but getting Ideas out in an understandable way is difficult for me)

It was great! I loved that little Austin Powers ripoff. Too cute

Quote:

Originally posted by jerseydevil
I can't believe you're planning something evil for me. I'm not going to tell you about Ice Storm anymore.

I don't remember asking anything else about it

FrodoFriend · 01-24-2002, 01:53 AM

Quote:

Is my first entry for the story ok? ( its back on page14)..I mean..is dosnt suck right?...the reason I ask is becaus I'm terrible at writeing ( I'm above averyage in vocabulaty and spelling and everything, but getting Ideas out in an understandable way is difficult for me)

LOL, I loved the "My Kingdom for a Manual" thing!

Quote:

By the way, I would like to demand a retraction on you portraying me in this story as selfish and obsessed with women. It's distasteful and I find it deeply offensive

HA. HA. HA.

Um . . . I don't wear skirts . . . what are you doing, trying to run up my pants leg? Beware, for gerbils are small and easy to squish! Besides, you never know what ELSE might be up there . . . J/K,

Rána Eressëa · 01-24-2002, 07:41 AM

As for the Dr. Evilijah, I know FF started that. Just making sure no one mistook me

Gerbil · 01-24-2002, 08:24 AM

Quote:

Besides, you never know what ELSE might be up there . . . J/K,

Thanks for that, now my imagination is running riot

Agburanar · 01-24-2002, 11:46 AM

Scene: Boots the chemists
Enter Elijah Wood
Elijah: Do you have any special shampoo for hairy feet?
Assistant: No sir, you'll have to use head and shoulders and stand upside down.
Elijah: Oh. (Disappointed) Where's the leg waxing stuff then?

A short while later Elijah returns to the counter carrying a big leg waxing kit and bottles of nail varnish

Elijah: There, that should see me through my next rehearsal.
Assistant: Hey, aren't you that Elijah Wood bloke?
Elijah: Yes, do you want my autograph, after all, I AM Frodo Baggins!
Assistant: No you're not, you're a freak, this is for Tolkien fandom everywhere!

Draws out big black sword and cuts off Elijah's head. Draws ring from pocket, slips it on and fades out of site. Takes black robes from behind counter, mounts big horse and rides of into the sunset.

Feraway Hawkbriar · 01-24-2002, 05:01 PM

*pokes thread back to top* ^_^*

Someone should write something.

Rána Eressëa · 01-24-2002, 05:43 PM

I'm working on it right now!

Wayfarer · 01-24-2002, 05:57 PM

The Fellowship and Then Some Excepting the Halfwits continues to drop. The Halflings swing around in the air on giant tentacles.

Halfwits: AAAAHHH!
Frodos: AAAAHHHH!
Hugo Weaving: Wooo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Hugo Weaving dances around maniacally.

Wayfarer: Wait a second!
Wayfarer pulls his arms out of the rope. He picks up his staff.
Hugo: Wheee!
Wayfarer smacks Hugo Weaving over the head with his staff.
Hugo: ooooo...
Galadriel: Well gag me with a spoon!
Wayfarer gags Galadriel with Hugo's Scrying Spoon.
Wayfarer: Now then!
Wayfarer unties the others.
Frodo#1: Help! We're still in the pit!
Frodo#2: Wayfarer! Help! We need to get out of here!
Frodo#3: Untie me! Help!
Garm: Help! Help! Help!
Farmer Giles: Somebody Kick that dog!

Wayfarer: Quickly! We've got to get out of this deathtrap!
He blasts one of the tentacles reaching up through the net, and another shortly thereafter. When no more appear, he looks around for a method of escape. No exit presents itself.

Feraway:Wait a second! I've got it!
She throws a rope ladder into the pit. It barely comes halfway down.

Tesseract (jumping up and waving his arms): Almost... got... it!

Wayfarer: Forget the ladder! We'll meet you when we get up there!
Wayfarer blasts a hole in the wall and motions to the others tp jump through. Conviniently enough, there seems to be a tunnel, which just happens to go in the other direction.

Wayfarer: Hey! I'm a wizard, remember?
(No you're not!)
Wayfarer: Well... ok. But I'm the most wizardly one here. So I get to do stuff like that.
(I thought you just got to face the nasty things like balrogs that nobody else can)
A balrog jumps up on the platforrm.
Wayfarer: Thanks a lot!
(I live to please. Try and remember to sacrifice yourself nobly.)
Wayfarer ignores the voice: Fly you fools!
He jumps into the tunnel, the balrog hot on his heels. Everybody flees down the tunnel. Including the Balrog. It fills the tunnel, flames wrapping around it like a garment (of very flattering cut). It lashes out with a whip.
Wayfarer: Great. Just what I need. ANOTHER psychotic oversexed freaky chick hanging around.

Halfwits: Psychotic?!?!
Liv and Christine: Oversexed?!?!
Galadriel: Freaky?!?!
Martha:Chick?!?!

Wayfarer: Erm... right.
Martha begins to chew him out in a hich-pitched voice. Until the Balrog...
Balrog: Sheesh! I have a name, you know! you don't have to keep calling me 'the balrog' like I'm some Demon of Fire and Power out of the Depths of Angband!
(You mean you're not?)
Balrog: Like, no! I'm a very sensitive, caring individual!
(But... the fire, and darkness, and the huge whip)
Balrog: I'm just, like, expressing my individuality and stuff! My daddy wouldn't let me, like, get my belly button pierced.
(I see... Very well, what to you go by?)
Balrog: Ashley.
(Wait... you're female?
Ashley the Balrog: Like, duh! *Wiggles hips suggestively* You don't see the Guy balrogs wearing flames like this!
(I didn't know)
Ashley the Balrog: Duh!
(Right, well then, Ashley, can we get back to the story?)
Ashley: Like, whatever!
...Ashley the Balrog lashes oput with it's
Ashley: Like, _Her_!
(Right...) with her whip, wrapping it around Martha and tossing her back out into The Pit.
Martha: Wayfarer! Save me!
Wayfarer: Well... at least it wasn't me this time. Run!
The Fellowship Plus Two turns and runs down the tunnel, followed by Ashley the Balrog of Mall-ria.

Wayfarer: Hugo! Galadriel! you have to hold back the monster so the rest of us can escape!
Tesseract12: Didn't the narrator say you were supposed to fight of balrogs?
Rogue Elf is cuddling with Frodo #3.
Jersydevil: Stop that!
Churl: That's right! He did say something about that!
Wayfarer: Look, just because...
Tesseract grabs wayfarers staff and baps him with it.
Wayfarer: Thanks tess, I needed that!
Aldesign: Besides! That creature just slew martha!
Wayfarer (looking with speculation at Ashley the Balrog of Mallria): Oh... Right.... Very well! I shall sacrifice myself 'nobly' and allow the rest of you to escape. Get lost, all of you!
Wayfarer grabs his staff and runs towards AshleyTheBalrog. Everyone else flees down the tunnel. the look back to see the two grappling violently. Suddenly, the tunel caves in, and they are gone from sight!

Aldesign: Farewell, wayfarer! Did I not say to you 'if you enter the mall, beware?' alas! I spoke truly!
Churl: When did you say that?
Jersydevil: Yeah, when?
Aldesign: err... Wait! do you hear that?
Jersydevil: Hey! Don't dodge the question!
Aldesign: Look! just because...
Strange Voice: Mmmmmm... Wings?
Aldesign: See! That!
Strange Voice: Wings?
Churl: what the heck is that voice saying?
Female Voice: No! No! No wings!
Strange Voice: Wings? Wings?
Jersydevil (seperating Rogue elf and Frodo #3): Let's go! Forget the stupid voices, Evil Elijah is still out there!
The Fellowhip turns to go.
Strange Voice: Wings? mmmm Wings?
Female Voice: Yes! Wings! Yes! Yes! Yes!

Wayfarer · 01-24-2002, 05:59 PM

Did I cut you off, Rogue Elf? Sorry.

Anyway... Here's another Balrog scene for you, frodofriend. Audio only, but I hope you enjoyed it.

samwise of the shire · 01-24-2002, 06:03 PM

*Stares about in confusion*I dont get any of the thread. I'll have to re-read it.And I also resent being called horny. I ADMIRE Elijah Wood and I look up his websites and all that but I'm probably the most mentaly stable Hobbit in the whole group as far as it goes to weird jokes. I dont even GET them. Anywho...
Hey who said that she admired Elijah for something or other about kissing scenes? That's not the only thing to admire him for personality wise. He dislikes being referred to as a star"stars are just balls of as burning millions of miles away"or something to that affect. Finally a movie star who isn't hung up on himself.
That's the main thing. He does'nt worry about the publicity he's going to get what with LOTR and all that. He knows it's gonna happen and doesn't worry about it. People'll like him or they wont. you guys should read the interviews on his website. The answers he gives the interviewers are SOOO mature. More mature then any teenage boy I'VE ever known. You should honestly. By the time I was done reading them my mouth was resting on my knees in astonishment and I was thinking"Oh yeah. He's my new favorite actor".
Let's keep this Pg-13 at most OK. I dont want to discontinue posting here because I'm not old enough to read the thread.
Sam the most mentally stable hobbit in the Messageboardship.
ps.Maybe we should give our Frodos different names to tell the apart?

Feraway Hawkbriar · 01-24-2002, 06:20 PM

Um, wayfarer, I dont think you cut Rouge elf off..however you seem to have missed my post that was an adition to the story. could you read it and revise your last bit? ( My aditon is back on page 14 towards the botom of the page.)

Wayfarer · 01-24-2002, 06:34 PM

Done...

Page 14? This is still on page three for me.

01-23-2002, 01:35 PM	#283
jerseydevil I am Freddie/UNDERCOVER/ Founder of The Great Continent of Entmoot Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Plainsboro, NJ Posts: 9,431	Actually it's Christinna Ricci - they added some Ice Storm in there. __________________ Come back! Come back! To Mordor we will take you! "The only thing better than a great plan is implementing a great plan" - JerseyDevil "If everyone agreed with me all the time, everything would be just fine"- JerseyDevil AboutNewJersey.com New Jersey MessageBoard Another Tolkien Forum Memorial to the Twin Towers New Jersey Map Fellowship of the Messageboard Legend of the Jersey Devil Support New Jersey's Liberty Tower Peacefire.org AboutNewJersey.com - New Jersey Travel and Tourism Guide

01-23-2002, 04:08 PM	#284
Gerbil Elf Lord Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: London, UK Posts: 797	Even better __________________ Gerbil gerbil@theburrow.co.uk

01-23-2002, 08:49 PM	#286
Feraway Hawkbriar Elven Warrior Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: California Posts: 348	...Is my first entry for the story ok? ( its back on page14)..I mean..is dosnt suck right?...the reason I ask is becaus I'm terrible at writeing ( I'm above averyage in vocabulaty and spelling and everything, but getting Ideas out in an understandable way is difficult for me) ..just thought I'd ask. __________________ "The barks goes ever on and on out from the dog where they began. He's out there crapping on my lawn. Till I hit him with my van."

01-23-2002, 08:56 PM	#287
jerseydevil I am Freddie/UNDERCOVER/ Founder of The Great Continent of Entmoot Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Plainsboro, NJ Posts: 9,431	I can't believe you're planning something evil for me. I'm not going to tell you about Ice Storm anymore. __________________ Come back! Come back! To Mordor we will take you! "The only thing better than a great plan is implementing a great plan" - JerseyDevil "If everyone agreed with me all the time, everything would be just fine"- JerseyDevil AboutNewJersey.com New Jersey MessageBoard Another Tolkien Forum Memorial to the Twin Towers New Jersey Map Fellowship of the Messageboard Legend of the Jersey Devil Support New Jersey's Liberty Tower Peacefire.org AboutNewJersey.com - New Jersey Travel and Tourism Guide

01-23-2002, 09:09 PM	#288
Gerbil Elf Lord Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: London, UK Posts: 797	Apologies - I did scan it all to see if I could find a reference, but I must have missed that in the other 723 pages of the story So, does Christinna like me then? Oh please please PLEASE make us live dirtily ever after together! __________________ Gerbil gerbil@theburrow.co.uk

01-23-2002, 07:41 AM	#281
Rána Eressëa The Rogue Elf Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 1,722	Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! This is so evil! I'll add something this afternoon...

01-24-2002, 07:41 AM	#291
Rána Eressëa The Rogue Elf Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 1,722	As for the Dr. Evilijah, I know FF started that. Just making sure no one mistook me

01-24-2002, 11:46 AM	#293
Agburanar Elf Lord Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Dorset Posts: 608	Scene: Boots the chemists Enter Elijah Wood Elijah: Do you have any special shampoo for hairy feet? Assistant: No sir, you'll have to use head and shoulders and stand upside down. Elijah: Oh. (Disappointed) Where's the leg waxing stuff then? A short while later Elijah returns to the counter carrying a big leg waxing kit and bottles of nail varnish Elijah: There, that should see me through my next rehearsal. Assistant: Hey, aren't you that Elijah Wood bloke? Elijah: Yes, do you want my autograph, after all, I AM Frodo Baggins! Assistant: No you're not, you're a freak, this is for Tolkien fandom everywhere! Draws out big black sword and cuts off Elijah's head. Draws ring from pocket, slips it on and fades out of site. Takes black robes from behind counter, mounts big horse and rides of into the sunset.

01-24-2002, 05:01 PM	#294
Feraway Hawkbriar Elven Warrior Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: California Posts: 348	pokes thread back to top ^_^* Someone should write something. __________________ "The barks goes ever on and on out from the dog where they began. He's out there crapping on my lawn. Till I hit him with my van."

01-24-2002, 05:43 PM	#295
Rána Eressëa The Rogue Elf Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 1,722	I'm working on it right now!

01-24-2002, 05:57 PM	#296
Wayfarer The Insufferable Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 3,333	The Fellowship and Then Some Excepting the Halfwits continues to drop. The Halflings swing around in the air on giant tentacles. Halfwits: AAAAHHH! Frodos: AAAAHHHH! Hugo Weaving: Wooo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Hugo Weaving dances around maniacally. Wayfarer: Wait a second! Wayfarer pulls his arms out of the rope. He picks up his staff. Hugo: Wheee! Wayfarer smacks Hugo Weaving over the head with his staff. Hugo: ooooo... Galadriel: Well gag me with a spoon! Wayfarer gags Galadriel with Hugo's Scrying Spoon. Wayfarer: Now then! Wayfarer unties the others. Frodo#1: Help! We're still in the pit! Frodo#2: Wayfarer! Help! We need to get out of here! Frodo#3: Untie me! Help! Garm: Help! Help! Help! Farmer Giles: Somebody Kick that dog! Wayfarer: Quickly! We've got to get out of this deathtrap! He blasts one of the tentacles reaching up through the net, and another shortly thereafter. When no more appear, he looks around for a method of escape. No exit presents itself. Feraway:Wait a second! I've got it! She throws a rope ladder into the pit. It barely comes halfway down. Tesseract (jumping up and waving his arms): Almost... got... it! Wayfarer: Forget the ladder! We'll meet you when we get up there! Wayfarer blasts a hole in the wall and motions to the others tp jump through. Conviniently enough, there seems to be a tunnel, which just happens to go in the other direction. Wayfarer: Hey! I'm a wizard, remember? (No you're not!) Wayfarer: Well... ok. But I'm the most wizardly one here. So I get to do stuff like that. (I thought you just got to face the nasty things like balrogs that nobody else can) A balrog jumps up on the platforrm. Wayfarer: Thanks a lot! (I live to please. Try and remember to sacrifice yourself nobly.) Wayfarer ignores the voice: Fly you fools! He jumps into the tunnel, the balrog hot on his heels. Everybody flees down the tunnel. Including the Balrog. It fills the tunnel, flames wrapping around it like a garment (of very flattering cut). It lashes out with a whip. Wayfarer: Great. Just what I need. ANOTHER psychotic oversexed freaky chick hanging around. Halfwits: Psychotic?!?! Liv and Christine: Oversexed?!?! Galadriel: Freaky?!?! Martha:Chick?!?! Wayfarer: Erm... right. Martha begins to chew him out in a hich-pitched voice. Until the Balrog... Balrog: Sheesh! I have a name, you know! you don't have to keep calling me 'the balrog' like I'm some Demon of Fire and Power out of the Depths of Angband! (You mean you're not?) Balrog: Like, no! I'm a very sensitive, caring individual! (But... the fire, and darkness, and the huge whip) Balrog: I'm just, like, expressing my individuality and stuff! My daddy wouldn't let me, like, get my belly button pierced. (I see... Very well, what to you go by?) Balrog: Ashley. (Wait... you're female? Ashley the Balrog: Like, duh! Wiggles hips suggestively You don't see the Guy balrogs wearing flames like this! (I didn't know) Ashley the Balrog: Duh! (Right, well then, Ashley, can we get back to the story?) Ashley: Like, whatever! ...Ashley the Balrog lashes oput with it's Ashley: Like, _Her_! (Right...) with her whip, wrapping it around Martha and tossing her back out into The Pit. Martha: Wayfarer! Save me! Wayfarer: Well... at least it wasn't me this time. Run! The Fellowship Plus Two turns and runs down the tunnel, followed by Ashley the Balrog of Mall-ria. Wayfarer: Hugo! Galadriel! you have to hold back the monster so the rest of us can escape! Tesseract12: Didn't the narrator say you were supposed to fight of balrogs? Rogue Elf is cuddling with Frodo #3. Jersydevil: Stop that! Churl: That's right! He did say something about that! Wayfarer: Look, just because... Tesseract grabs wayfarers staff and baps him with it. Wayfarer: Thanks tess, I needed that! Aldesign: Besides! That creature just slew martha! Wayfarer (looking with speculation at Ashley the Balrog of Mallria): Oh... Right.... Very well! I shall sacrifice myself 'nobly' and allow the rest of you to escape. Get lost, all of you! Wayfarer grabs his staff and runs towards AshleyTheBalrog. Everyone else flees down the tunnel. the look back to see the two grappling violently. Suddenly, the tunel caves in, and they are gone from sight! Aldesign: Farewell, wayfarer! Did I not say to you 'if you enter the mall, beware?' alas! I spoke truly! Churl: When did you say that? Jersydevil: Yeah, when? Aldesign: err... Wait! do you hear that? Jersydevil: Hey! Don't dodge the question! Aldesign: Look! just because... Strange Voice: Mmmmmm... Wings? Aldesign: See! That! Strange Voice: Wings? Churl: what the heck is that voice saying? Female Voice: No! No! No wings! Strange Voice: Wings? Wings? Jersydevil (seperating Rogue elf and Frodo #3): Let's go! Forget the stupid voices, Evil Elijah is still out there! The Fellowhip turns to go. Strange Voice: Wings? mmmm Wings? Female Voice: Yes! Wings! Yes! Yes! Yes! __________________ Disgraced he may be, yet is not dethroned, and keeps the rags of lordship once he owned Last edited by Wayfarer : 01-24-2002 at 06:32 PM.

01-24-2002, 05:59 PM	#297
Wayfarer The Insufferable Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 3,333	Did I cut you off, Rogue Elf? Sorry. Anyway... Here's another Balrog scene for you, frodofriend. Audio only, but I hope you enjoyed it. __________________ Disgraced he may be, yet is not dethroned, and keeps the rags of lordship once he owned

01-24-2002, 06:03 PM	#298
samwise of the shire Radically Tolkienited Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: If home is where the heart is, and my heart is in heaven...that should answer your question. <+>< Posts: 967	Stares about in confusionI dont get any of the thread. I'll have to re-read it.And I also resent being called horny. I ADMIRE Elijah Wood and I look up his websites and all that but I'm probably the most mentaly stable Hobbit in the whole group as far as it goes to weird jokes. I dont even GET them. Anywho... Hey who said that she admired Elijah for something or other about kissing scenes? That's not the only thing to admire him for personality wise. He dislikes being referred to as a star"stars are just balls of as burning millions of miles away"or something to that affect. Finally a movie star who isn't hung up on himself. That's the main thing. He does'nt worry about the publicity he's going to get what with LOTR and all that. He knows it's gonna happen and doesn't worry about it. People'll like him or they wont. you guys should read the interviews on his website. The answers he gives the interviewers are SOOO mature. More mature then any teenage boy I'VE ever known. You should honestly. By the time I was done reading them my mouth was resting on my knees in astonishment and I was thinking"Oh yeah. He's my new favorite actor". Let's keep this Pg-13 at most OK. I dont want to discontinue posting here because I'm not old enough to read the thread. Sam the most mentally stable hobbit in the Messageboardship. ps.Maybe we should give our Frodos different names to tell the apart? __________________ Jesus is my all in all <><+<><+<><+<><+<><+<><+ People who are so concerned with escapism do have a name...we call them jailers. ~J.R.R Tolkien Radically Saved, Totally Tolkienited GOD... BLESS... AMERICA...

01-24-2002, 06:20 PM	#299
Feraway Hawkbriar Elven Warrior Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: California Posts: 348	Um, wayfarer, I dont think you cut Rouge elf off..however you seem to have missed my post that was an adition to the story. could you read it and revise your last bit? ( My aditon is back on page 14 towards the botom of the page.) __________________ "The barks goes ever on and on out from the dog where they began. He's out there crapping on my lawn. Till I hit him with my van."

01-24-2002, 06:34 PM	#300
Wayfarer The Insufferable Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 3,333	Done... Page 14? This is still on page three for me. __________________ Disgraced he may be, yet is not dethroned, and keeps the rags of lordship once he owned