"Temporary" Venting Thread IV

[The last sane person]

Hehe, yep so much for "unconditional love" (with strings attached, of course).

Here, have a cushion; the benches on this boat are aweful hard to bear at times.

*scooches over on her bench and hands him a cushion so he may sit*

[Gwaimir Windgem]

Originally Posted by Tessar

My mom has known that I was gay since I was seven (?!), and thinks it's because I was mentally abused as a child by my dad's mom. BUT she willingly admits that my mental disease may also be partially her fault, because she recognizes that she wasn't the world's best mom.

It's okay, though: We all have crosses to carry, and she's so proud of me (subtext: so long as I remain Catholic), and I'm still her baby boy that she just loves so much (subtext: so long as I'm not one of those gays who just drift along because it's so easy to just give in and go sleep with everyone). Also she will always love me (subtext: but man, those gays? They just have this... evil aura. She can sense it).



You know what? I don't care what it is at this point. I want people to leave me alone and let me figure this out by myself, because every time some jackass "doesn't" give me advice, I just end up hating them because of how they try to manipulate me.


I wish people would stop putting conditions on loving me. I hate them.

Tessar, I'd be willing to wager that your mother will always love you, no matter what. She might not approve of everything you do (and what parent does approve of everything their children do? Hopefully none), but she will still love you. Love for your family, and especially love of a mother for her children, is a strong, strong bond, nearly indestructible. Some parents seem to lack this bond, or to have it only weakly, but, given the background of your family, the ways in which they reacted to learning about this seems to me like a good sign that the bond is pretty strong with them. I bet your mother does love you unconditionally; she has certain hopes, but even if they aren't fulfilled, she'll still love you.

[Acalewia]

Originally Posted by Tessar

My mom has known that I was gay since I was seven (?!), and thinks it's because I was mentally abused as a child by my dad's mom. BUT she willingly admits that my mental disease may also be partially her fault, because she recognizes that she wasn't the world's best mom.

It's okay, though: We all have crosses to carry, and she's so proud of me (subtext: so long as I remain Catholic), and I'm still her baby boy that she just loves so much (subtext: so long as I'm not one of those gays who just drift along because it's so easy to just give in and go sleep with everyone). Also she will always love me (subtext: but man, those gays? They just have this... evil aura. She can sense it).



You know what? I don't care what it is at this point. I want people to leave me alone and let me figure this out by myself, because every time some jackass "doesn't" give me advice, I just end up hating them because of how they try to manipulate me.


I wish people would stop putting conditions on loving me. I hate them.

Just because you're attracted to the same sex doesn't make you a different person. You're still the same sweet, musical guy I've always known. It doesn't make any difference to me what your sexual preference, religion, race, etc. etc.

I believe your mom will always love you no matter what, even if you don't think so.

And just because someone if different, doesn't make them evil. I really wish these people that call themselves Christians would actually act like Christians, instead of loving only certain people. I don't recall Jesus saying "love only who you want to love," What I remember Him saying is "Love your neighbor as you love yourself,". Of course I might be reading the wrong Bible [/sarcastic]

[Tessar]

Thanks guys.

It's just... blech. I know she's doing what she thinks is right, and she's doing it out of a desire to help (or at least I hope she is), but I mean come on... she just suddenly waltzes in and is all, "so you totally have this mental disease because you were abused as a child," and then proceeds to say that since I don't want advice, she wont try to burden me with any.

But BTW! [Insert derogatory rant about gay men in general]


I'm better now, but it made me pretty upset for a while.

[Gwaimir Windgem]

CRAP! Pretty much EVERY SINGLE GOOD TUTOR is confirmed as not, that's right NOT teaching senior classes next year. We have a fairly small staff. 5 stellar tutors are definitely not teaching. 1 decent tutor is not teaching. 1 decent-to-good tutor might be teaching. 1 excellent tutor, might, might, might, probably-won't be teaching. I can really only think of one tutor who is, reputedly, pretty good who might be teaching. 1 god-awful tutor is definitely teaching.

Plus, my class has, off the top of my head, five people who are absolutely awful for any class. They'll just drag it way, way down for everyone else. We have four sections next year. Statistically, odds are very good that I'll have to put up with at least one of them. Since the laws of probability, as a general rule, are waived in order for life to grind its heel into my toes, I will be quite surprised if I don't have two or more.

This is going to SUCK.

[sisterandcousinandaunt]

Originally Posted by Tessar

My mom has known that I was gay since I was seven (?!), and thinks it's because I was mentally abused as a child by my dad's mom. BUT she willingly admits that my mental disease may also be partially her fault, because she recognizes that she wasn't the world's best mom.

It's okay, though: We all have crosses to carry, and she's so proud of me (subtext: so long as I remain Catholic), and I'm still her baby boy that she just loves so much (subtext: so long as I'm not one of those gays who just drift along because it's so easy to just give in and go sleep with everyone). Also she will always love me (subtext: but man, those gays? They just have this... evil aura. She can sense it).



You know what? I don't care what it is at this point. I want people to leave me alone and let me figure this out by myself, because every time some jackass "doesn't" give me advice, I just end up hating them because of how they try to manipulate me.


I wish people would stop putting conditions on loving me. I hate them.

Originally Posted by Tessar

Thanks guys.

It's just... blech. I know she's doing what she thinks is right, and she's doing it out of a desire to help (or at least I hope she is), but I mean come on... she just suddenly waltzes in and is all, "so you totally have this mental disease because you were abused as a child," and then proceeds to say that since I don't want advice, she wont try to burden me with any.

But BTW! [Insert derogatory rant about gay men in general]


I'm better now, but it made me pretty upset for a while.

Being a parent is an odd job.

Your impulse is to make sure nothing at all difficult ever happens to your child. This makes real life pretty hazardous. And when you fail to protect them, all you can do is try to figure out what you might have done differently. You might try out some pretty "Pinky and the Brain" routes for avoiding things...particularly if the difficult thing bears on their happiness the way problems in their love life may. Once she stops looking backwards and forwards and looks AT you again, it'll be all right. Right now she's reviewing everything she ever knew about you in the light of her complete ignorance of being gay, and her attention is pretty scattered.

[Mari]

At the moment I have 4 houses under my care (including our own) and in one of them the fire alarm was going off, or so I thought. So I just made a round of all houses with a lot of keys in my hands, cleared away mail, put out the trashbins for tomorrow, turned off a tab that I noticed was running (I think it was a prank by some kids to turn it on) and I watered plants.
Before that I cleared away the laundry here and did the vacuuming as I promised my sister, I played with the dog and brushed him.
*sigh* Someone tell me how I got to be the caretaker of 4 houses? >_<

[sisterandcousinandaunt]

"No good deed ever goes unpunished."

[Nurvingiel]

Holy crap Tessar, I didn't realize you had some really important posts in here. I probably should have read those before I sent you a PM (which was based solely on what you wrote in the Teacup.)

*hugs*

[Tessar]

It's okay, Nurv. I don't see why you'd need to apologize for what you wrote, it was quite nice .

[Mari]

I'm upset because my sister is upset. Her boss is coming on to her and though she knows how to handle annoying guys normally, this one is particularly persistent. Normally she would bring me in for the evil older sister act, but she likes her work.
At least we were able to get him to stop SMS'ing her every other hour >_< *wants to go over there and tell her sister's boss exactly what she is thinking*

[Tessar]

Out of the roughly $370 I'll be making on the 7th, I'm probably going to have about $25 left over after paying for just my parking pass for next semester, reimbursing my parents for my taxes from last year, and a few other misc. costs related to school.

It may be less than that, too.


It's just frustrating to work so much and realize that I may still not be able to pay for my school books even after my next pay check because I'll work probably two more weeks of full time, then it'll scale back to 25-30 hours a week... I'll probably have to take out extra when I get the loan to pay for the books, too, because I've got to pay for gas for getting to school and work and such, and that's probably going to eat up the majority of my paycheck. Blech!!!!!!!


I mean, I knew it was going to be this way, but geeze.

Oh well. Just three or so more years.

[Mari]

Good luck Tessar! Remember, it's all for the greater good!

[Tessar]

My dumb car broke down. Again. For the 10 millionth time. Thank goodness I don't have work tomorrow.

I am sooooo heavily leaning towards trying to get a motorcycle when/if this car finally breaks down. We've had so many problems with the car from day one, I can't imagine it's going to last more than a few more years. It's only about 6 years old, but it's super problematic.

[Acalewia]

Oooo. That sucks. One of the cart pushers at my Store has a motorcycle, but with as low a paygrade as they are, I'm not sure how long he saved to get it.

Are you getting the full two weeks?

[sisterandcousinandaunt]

*grumble posers grumble email*

[Mari]

I am so angry with my cousins right now! If one of them would show up on our doorstep I would tell her good. Probably in a very loud voice.

I just got back from a vacation, my mother is very sick, my sister has skipped school to help out here, my father has been helping my mother at night so he has a severe lack of sleep, my grandmother has been hospitalized, so my father and sister have been doing things for her as well, but apparently it has all been very hectic. That is what I came home to late last night.
This morning I had to sort out all the things that needed doing here and at my grandmothers place and the myriad other things. So I asked my grandmother when she called me if she couldn't ask my cousin for some back up since she has nothing to do this week, she said so herself. Apparently my grandmother didn't want to ask her because she is married and has her own household to run. But she can ask my sister and me.
So I called my other cousin. She said she wasn't feeling well (she's pregnant) and that my other cousin has a day off and probably didn't want to help clean my grandmothers house where we now have an ant-plague or so I was told.

I'll go check how bad it is with the ants in a short while, after I cooled down a bit. At the moment I'm too angry to do much good.

[sisterandcousinandaunt]

Wow. What creeps.

I'm not feeling the angels of my better nature as regards idiocy in my email.

[Tessar]

I've been feeling sick at work, lately. I'm okay when I'm at home lounging around, so long as I don't move around too much, but when I'm at work having to stand for hours on end I start feeling icky.

The last few days it's been sweating and feeling shaky, which is rough when you're having to lift heavy things off of the belt as frequently as I do. And that will last for an hour or so, some times.

Then today I think I came pretty close to just randomly throwing up. I was okay, then suddenly my stomach gradually started aching, and I could feel my throat getting tight and my stomach was heaving. I managed to calm myself down by doing some deep breathing, which is kind of difficult to focus on while you're checking people out... but hey. It worked, and I didn't throw up, although it was a near thing.


Stupid mono.

[Mari]

ARGH!
My university. Bloody administration and administrators. *hits a punchbag*
And stupid phonepeople! And... and...
Anyway, today is just one of those ARGH! days.