War For All Of Middle Earth™!

[Earniel]

Fieuw, I get away alive. So there is some reward for being good. As far as I'm concerned the ending is okay.

[zavron]

zav: ''That's it!! I've had enough of these fake Rivendells!! I'm going to buy the entire stock!!''

*Goes and buys entire stock of Fake Rivendells. Also destroys company building for fun*

zav: ''Oooooooohh!! FireWorks! Preeeetyyy!! All I need to do is go to this meeting!''

Zavron heads to The Secret HeadQuarters of Evil united, accompanied by Several armed Mutated Heavily Armoured Frogs and One large One that seems to be a Heavily Armoured Toad.

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

OOC: As much as I like that ending, there is still more to do. They can't just send us to the room and leave all our armies there. We have to purge Middle Earth of all our unnatural creatures before this is over. I am sorry Maggie, this is definetly not over.

*In the room*

Tano: Oh bugger. It's too small here.

Rache: Yeah, there's too many people. We're gonna die!

Human: And tril-il-il-olly, our names are not Molly--

Tano: WOULD SOMEONE WITH AN ARM FREE PLEASE SMACK HUMAN!!!

Katt: Would you like out?

Tano and Rache: Hell yes!

Katt: Ok. *Cheerfully* Where would you like to go?

*Tano finally managed to get an arm free and smacked Katt instead of Human*

Tano: You stupid, insane yerch! We're locked in here for all eternity! The only way out is with death.

Katt: That is so not true! We can leave any time.

*Tano starts repeatedly smacking Katt and Rache takes this time to try and stuff a sock down Human's throat*

Tano: I am frustrated and tiered and wish I was dead! No I take that back! I wish you were dead!

Katt: That's it, I'm leaving you in here. *Pulls out the One Ring*

*Everything stopped. Even the music seemed to die down a little.*

Tano: Wha, how, wher...?

Katt: I had it all along. Now, we had better get out of here quick and find a script. We have to undo the damage we have done.

Human: schie ih ahouy wiee

Tano: What?

Katt: Take the sock out of her mouth.

*Rache removes the sock*

Human: I said Katt is right. Let's go.

*They hear a scraping of a key in a lock of the door.*

Katt: Ah. That's our ride.

*The door opened and the four of them fell out into a pile. They looked up to see a zombie Elrond holding the door open.*

Katt: *Getting up* Thanks old friend. *A Malicious grin flashed accross her face and was gone* Now lock the door again.

*Elrond locked the door, turned on his heel and left. Before he left, he gave a package to Katt. Katt opened the package. It was a fresh script. As Katt read she shook her head.*

Katt: This does not look good. We have much work to do.

*The four of them headed off somewhere.*

[Masderanoe]

Tingleclaw: So what are we going to do next.

Grady: Well we're going to crossbread some things.

Tingleclaw: Uh oh

Spikelegs: Not good

Billy: Scary

Willy: YAY!

Everyone looks at Willy like he's crazy

Grady: One thing that I've already made is an archer monkey.

Spikelegs: How is that a crossbread?

Grady: It's crossbread with an arrow.

Tingleclaw: Umm

Grady: You don't want to know.

Tingleclaw: How many of these did you make?

Grady: 500

Tingleclaw: Hew

Grady: But we're going to make more then we're going to make Fish Trolls

Tingleclaw collapses

Spikelegs: Why are we making all these things?

Grady: Because we're going to go destroy that EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL ROOM!

Spikelegs: Ok

[Tanoliel]

OOC: Cross-breed, not bread. I wouldn't normally bug you but I got such a funny image from the word "cross-bread" (think Baguette...) that I had to point it out...

IC:
Tano: So, Katt...what IS there to do? I mean, besides destroying all the evil and bring the world back to glory and happiness.
Katt: Yeah, that's about it in a nutshell.
Tano: Er. Right. So HOW do we do it?

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

Katt: Umm......

Human: Uhhh.....

Rache: Ehhh...

Tano: *Dissaproving glare*

Katt: Um... *Meekly and unasuredly* Wait for one of my unannounced strokes of genius?

Tano: *Annoyed* Oh, that's just great. How do we do that eh?

*Ten minutes later they were roasting marsmellows in the woods.*

Tano: *Grumpily* Bugger all.

Human: Shh! Your disturbing the vibes.

Tano: *Grumpily* Humph. My marshmellow's on fire. Humph.

[Willow Oran]

OOC: Arrrgh!!!!!!! I knew this would happen! I don't know why I even bother writing endings for these things....

(Meanwhile back in Rivindell, again)

Maggie: You let them out? What do you mean you let them out?

Elrond(very embarressed) : I am very sorry. It was Katt, she had the one ring and she forced me to unlock it.

Galadriel: This most annoying. How are we supposed to restore Middle Earth when they keep escaping?

Maggie: This is partially my fault, I had forgotten Sauronkatt and the ring. I can deal with her though, if you would be willing to lend me the three, I promise they will be returned when I have finished what I need them for.

(The bearers of the three talk with eachother for a bit and finally agree giving Maggie the three.)

Gandalf: You will deal with the others, meanwhile we shall return to our homes and fortefy them against these invaders. They will not drive us out this time.

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

Katt: Arg! How could they give her the Three?!?

Tano: I know! After all she's done to them!!!

Rache: Does she really have the power to defeat you and the One Ring?

Katt: *Holds back secret* We shall see.

Tano: Katt, what are you hiding from us?

Katt: Nothing. *Hesatently* It's just that,...

Tano: What?

Rache: Come on.

Katt: Maggie and I,-- No. I will not say.

Rache: You had better open up.

Tano: Or ELSE.

Katt: Or else what?

Human: HOW COME YOU GUYS NEVER LET ME READ THE SCRIPT?!?

Katt,Tano,&Rache: Because you're evil.

Katt: No, I have to go face Maggie alone. Soon this will all be over.

*Yeah right. *

*Katt snapped her fingers and dissapeared*

Human: Just a peak?

Tano&Rache: NO!

OOC: I'll pm you with the "Secret". Maybe. But let me do the confrentation sceen please.

[Nazgûl Queen]

*Meanwhile, NQ sneaked back towards Angband, where she met Poiple, Entesse, Scaley and the Army*

NQ: What are you all doing here?

*the whole army bows* MISTRESS!!!!!!!

NQ: The war for middleearth is over. If you continue to fight, you will be destroyed. And we don't want that.

Scarlet: But what shall we do?

NQ: Isn't it obvious?

Scarlet: No

NQ: We return to Angband, where we will live out happily the rest of the millenia, far away from these pesky huymans and elves. Then, one day, when the time comes....

Scarlet: Ah.

NQ: For now, you three small dragons are to lead the army back to Angband and close all the gates to prevent anyone entering. You, Scarlet, are to carry me to Imladris.

Scarlet: Wouldn't they kill us?

NQ: 'Course not. We need to see the outcome of the final battle between Maggie and Katt.

*The army turns to return home, and NQ mounts Scarlet and flies south...*

[Willow Oran]

(Meanwhile in an undisclosed place Maggie is watching the discussion between Katt and the other through one of the Palatir.)

Maggie: Foolish Katt, very foolish. I know your secret now and I will not hesitate to use it. However, I will agree to the confrontation. Once I have gained the ring from you it will be an easy matter to persuade you to withdraw all your foreign forces from Middle Earth.

(she looks suddenly tired and defeated)

Maybe I should surrender, I am ready for this war to end so that I my retire here in peace.

(she abruptly stops looking ready for defeat and straightens up.)

But I can't allow Katt to win, not after having come so far. I'll meet her challenge and we shall see who is the victor, and if it not me then the world shall end and it won't matter anyhow.

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

*After Katt had gone, Rache, Tano, and Human faced each other for a solom ceremony.*

Rache: When shall we three meet again? In thunder lightning or in rain?

Tano: When the hurly burly's done. When the battle's lost and won.

Human: That will be eir the set of sun.

Rache: Where the place?

Tano: Apon the heath.

Human: There to meet with KATT!

*A faint noise is heard. It stops abruptly*

Rache: I come Grey Malcan.

Tano: Paddok calls.

Human: Anon.

Rache,Tano,&Human: Fair is foul and foul is fair. Hover through the fog and the filthy air. Fair is foul and foul is fair. Hover through the fog and the filthy air.

*As they started to leave they started a harmony.*

Rache&Human: Fair is foul and foul is fair. Hover through the fog and the filthy air.
Tano: A drum, a drum. The Katt doth come. A drum, a drum. The Katt doth come.

Rache&Human: Fair is foul and foul is fair. Hover through the fog and the filthy air.
Tano: A drum, a drum. The Katt doth come. A drum, a drum. The Katt doth come.

*They dissapeared into the forest.*

OOC: Don't mind my interlude. I couldn't resist.

OOC2: The "battle" is soon to come. Wait till lunch!

[Earniel]

*somewhere in a guest room in Rivendell a certain sea elf is sleeping through all the fights. *

Cirdan:*standing at the door, getting rather impatient* Isn't it about time you woke up?
Eärniel: *lifts sleepy head from bed* Mmfffflll, is it morning yet?
Cirdan: It has been morning for quite a couple days now.
Eärniel: Has it? *yawns* Saving the world is tiring job.
Cirdan: *mutters: saving the world, as if! Mucking things up she means.*
Eärniel: What was that muttering?
Cirdan: Nothing.
Eärniel: *yawns again* God, I'm glad all these fights are over.
Cirdan: Actually, that's why I wanted to talk to you.
Eärniel: To congratulate me on a job well done?
Cirdan: Hardly. Anyway, some of the warmongers have escaped...
Eärniel: Wha..?
Cirdan: That was our first reaction too. So we gave Maggie the Three and she will take care of Katt and Tano and we are going to fortify our homes against them.
Eärniel: You did WHAT?!
Cirdan: Don't shout, I'm still your superior elf. Anyway I've decided you are going to keep an eye on Maggie for us. It's not that we don't entirely trust her (although maybe just little) but...*sighs deeply and rolls eyes* ...Glorfindel is worried she'll get in trouble and I still owe him a favour.
Eärniel: Do I get a say into this?
Cirdan: let me think about it... No.
Eärniel: Thought so. Where are the dragons?
Cirdan: Not here in any case. I believe they joined Nazgûl Queen.
Eärniel: What?! The ingrates! Is that my reward for drawing them? Fne... I'll tan their scaly little hides.
Cirdan: In your own time. Right now you have things to do. And you've got 5 minutes to get ready to leave.

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

*As Katt slowly walked up the hill where she was to meet Maggie, she suddenly noticed a bunch of armies straggling up the hill after her.*

Katt: *yelling* NO! It's a confrentation! Not a battle! Go away! Go! Shue! No fighting!

*The armies looked sad and then scampered away with their heads bowed down.*

Katt: Armies. Yesh!

[Willow Oran]

(In Rivindell, the elves are gathered in the hall of fire suddenly Maggie comes stumbling in and collapses as if hurt Glorfindel immediately runs to her side and pulls her into a sitting position.)

Glor: What happened, are you hurt?

Elrond: (coming up beside them) Come, you must tell us what happened!

Maggie: She- she's escaped again... I ran while I still could...

(She trails off and goes limp.)

Elrond: She doesn't seem to be physically hurt, take care of her I'll work with the others to try and find out what happened.

OOC: There was a confrontation but Katt hasn't posted yet. So here's part of the aftermath. You can try to guess what's happened.

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

OOC: OK, It's here finally.

*When Katt reached the top of the hill, Maggie was waiting for her.*

Maggie: Hello. I asume you haven't brought any armies with you?

*Katt had just convinced the last of them how angry she would be if they followed her one step further and the shuffeled off with the rest.*

Katt: Of course not My Lady. *kneels* My Lady, I come with a purpouse. We need to extract the artificial things from Middle Earth in order to preserve it. I must ask your help.

Maggie: *smiles nicely* My dear Katt, we work twards a common goal. They will be removed.

Katt: *Looks meaningfully at Maggie* You are not leaving with us, are you?

Maggie: No.

Katt: *sigh* I thought as much.

Maggie: And now I must ask something from you.

Katt: Anything, My Lady.

Maggie: The Ring.

*Katt pulled The Ring out of her pocket and without hesitation gave it to Maggie. She took it and fingered it for a bit.*

Maggie: It is beautiful.

Katt: Especially on you. It goes with your golden hair.

Maggie:*Chuckles* As well it should. *Puts Rhe Ring on.*

BOOM

*The skys blackened. Thunder rumbeled, lightning flashed, and a voice came hurling out of the sky.*

Voice: You have just released Evil Maggie. To run away, press one. To stand and fight, press two. For other, press three.

*Three glowing numbers apeared floating in front of Katt. She pressed three.*

Voice: State your purpouse.

Katt: To serve Maggie until Middle Earth crumbles and falls into the sea.

Evil Maggie: Good, my child. I hoped I would not have to destroy you.

*Evil Maggie whisked away the floating numbers as she walked to Katt*

Katt: *Looks at Evil Maggie and sighs.* Would you like a biscut?

Maggie: Thank you my dear, but we have bigger fish to fry *tiger grin* and to capture. Come.

Katt: Yes M'Lady.

*Katt rose and followed Maggie down the hill. As Katt followed, she heard a faint song floating up from behind her. She thought she heard this.*

Rache&Human: Fair is foul and foul is fair. Hover through the fog and the filthy air.
Tano: A drum, a drum. The Katt doth come. A drum, a drum. The Katt doth come.

*Katt ignored it and walked on.*

[Earniel]

Eärniel: *running towards hill* Darn, I'm late! I'm late. Hey, hold on a second why do I sound like a rabit from a book? Oh, never mind that! *finally reaches confrontation site* Darn, they have already begun!

*Katt gives Maggie the ring who (foolishly) tries it on with all the ensueing special effects that would put Peter Jackson to shame.*

Eärniel: Yikes! *ducks for cover*

*Katt chooses to serve Maggie and follows her down the hill*

Eärniel:*comes out of hiding* Bugger! How am I going to explain this to Cirdan and Glorfindel? You'll see they'll say it was my fault. Fne.... *sneaks after Katt and Maggie*

[Tanoliel]

Tano: A drum, a drum, the Katt doth...wait a second....*peers over the moor to see great special effects*
Rache: What's going on?
Tabo: Dunno. *pulls out binoculars from random pocket* WHOA! Oh, curses on all the hells!
Human: what is it? *snatches binos*
Tano: She's serving Maggie. I am SERIOUSLY confused. Does anyone want to explain anything to me?
Human and Rache: Um.
Tano: Yeah...thought so....

[Nazgûl Queen]

*Scarlet and NQ were flying happily along, having as normal a conversation as possible for them, when suddenly NQ's eyes went red and her hands went cold. She grabbed at Scarlets scales and forcibly turned her towards the ground where Katt and Maggie could just be seen walking amidst special effects.*

Scarlet: My Mistress, what are you doing?

NQ: *in a cold, almost distant voice* Maggie holds the ring. my mistress calls. Bring me to her.

*she pulls fiercely at scarlet and against scarlets will she takes her to the ground near Maggie and Katt. As NQ dismounts, with her last ounce of free will she dismisses Scarlet to guard Angband in her absence. Then she bows down before Maggie.*

NQ: She who bears the ring commands, and i must obey. What would you have me do, my Liege?

[Fingolfin_1st]

manwe lord of the valour watches the show on middle-earth he realises that there are other things to do in life than watch t.v so he reaches for his giant remote control and clicks the standby button.

all goes dark on middle-earth then someone cries out ''hey who turned out the lights!''

[goldiegollum]

Wherever Tano and Human are, Goldiegollum suddenly runs up behiend thim and grabs the binoculars
GG: OOOOOoooooo pretty! There's this cute little butterfly over there...*the butterfly bursts into spontaneous combustion*Eh? *tano grabs binoculars back*hey!
Human: You again, i thought you had left!
GG: I was visiting my friends (heehheheeee) *begins to sing loudly and obnoxiousley, hop skipping around*
Rache: What friend? and who are you?
Tano: That's goldiegollum (who likes to climb trees and is the holder of the squeaky), and about her friend...do we want to know?
GG: Tom Bombadill!!!!!!! Hey! Tom Bombadill is a merry fellow, bright blue his jacket is, and his boots are yellow...' *begins to sing and dance manicly*

Human begins singing with her, Tano whacks them both over the head.

GG: so... what's giong on?

occ: i really have no clue what's happening past a few posts ago..didn't have time to read it all since i last posted...i do know something about people having been trapped in a box, then they got out and now Maggie has the ring and she's evil or something...