01-21-2002, 10:22 PM | #241 |
I am Freddie/UNDERCOVER/ Founder of The Great Continent of Entmoot
Join Date: Dec 2001
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Don't let this thread turn into a discussion of Elijah's sexual orientaton. Everyone always seems to do that with all hollywood actors. It's just not far to do to someone - especially someone that is so much in the public eye.
I guess now that he's in a blockbuster movie - now the rumors will start to spread.
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01-21-2002, 10:47 PM | #242 | |
Elf Lord
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: London, UK
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Quote:
And on a personal note, I'm only 26 in gerbil years. I'm actually only 4 months old in human timescales. Old, indeed. Pah. Now where's my zimmer frame? |
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01-21-2002, 11:24 PM | #243 |
The Rogue Elf
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,722
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Wayfarer's Wisdom...
(An ominous silence falls over the darkened Shopping Mall. Jerseydevil glances around to find that no one else seems to be around. It's as if everyone's just disappeared...)
Jerseydevil: [snatches Rogue Elf's and Frodo #3's hands] We must be careful not to lose each other, so you two will stay with me. Come! We must look for other people! (Jerseydevil drags Rogue Elf & Frodo #3 along with him as he quietly slips through different departments. Suddenly a bright light seems to explode up ahead. He looks closely to see a glowing staff held by a rather old-looking man...) Jerseydevil: Wayfarer! It is you! Wayfarer: Jerseydevil! And my, you have two little hobbits with you! Rogue Elf! Nice to see you! [looks are Frodo #3] And you are which Frodo...? Frodo #3: [sighs] Number three. Wayfarer: Ah, yes! Well-- Martha: [screams] What's going on?! Wayfarer: Hush, honey, I have met old friends and I would like to chat with them. Martha: [gasps!] Fine! [stalks off and disappears] Wayfarer: Now, where was I...? (Nearby a cry of "AI! AI!" can be heard.) Jerseydevil: It's Tesseract! Wayfarer: That's it! I'm outta here! Jerseydevil: No, Wayfarer, you mustn't go! We have to find out what's going on! Wayfarer: Why? Do I look like I care? Rogue Elf: Daddy! I wanna leave! Wayfarer: [gasps!] Dear Eru! You're her father?! Jerseydevil: No, I just adopted her. Wayfarer: Ohh... Jerseydevil: And him. [points to Frodo #3] Wayfarer: Why on Middle-Earth would you do that? Jerseydevil: Because they need a father figure! They're exactly like those kids in "The Ice Storm"! Wayfarer: [gasps!] You don't say?! Jerseydevil: Oh, you've seen that movie?! Wayfarer: Twenty-two times! Jerseydevil: Wow. You know-- Frodo #3: Ahem. I refuse to be compared to my counterpart. Rogue Elf: Am I Christina Ricci?! Wayfarer: Not unless you're fooling around with his brothers. Frodo #3: Ah! Leave my brothers out of this! Jerseydevil: Hush already! Yeesh! (Everyone grows quiet. "AI! AI!") Wayfarer: Would you SHUT UP, TESSERACT!!! Tesseract: Oh, sorry! It's not like it's my fault you guys haven't came over here yet! Wayfarer: Fine! Let's go over there to Tesseract and get this nightmare over with! (Jerseydevil, Wayfarer, Rogue Elf, & Frodo #3 walk over to Tesseract. Right beside him, wielding an axe, is Churl.) Churl: What's going on?! Wayfarer: [sarcastically] Jerseydevil claims we're going to find out. Jerseydevil: Well, if you'd give it a chance-- Rogue Elf: Daddy, I'm hungry! Wayfarer: I don't need to give it a chance! Frodo #3: Why's everyone yelling? Jerseydevil: You have to give everything a chance! Rogue Elf: Oh, that reminds me! Honey-scented Herbal Essences shampoo! Frodo #3: I knew we forgot something! (Everyone grows silent and turns to stare at Rogue Elf & Frodo #3.) Rogue Elf: [gasps!] Oh! I forgot! [begins mumbling] PG-13... PG-13... PG-13... Tesseract: AI! AI! I don't get it! Churl: That's because you're only twelve, little one. Tesseract: You know, just because I'm-- Churl: Don't start, Tesseract! I beg of you! Don't start! Tesseract: Look, just because I don't-- Wayfarer: Rrraahhhh!!! How do you put up with that racket?! Churl: Well, he usually listens to me... Tesseract: Hey! Just because I usually-- (Wayfarer lifts his staff and yells out a buncha really weird words at Tesseract. The tall twelve-year-old Elf stares at him, mouth agape and silent. A bright flash of light is seen, then dims. Everyone stares in awe at the silent Tesseract...) Jerseydevil: It has worked! You've broken Galadriel's curse! Tesseract: [gets red in the face] LOOK! JUST BECAUSE SHE-- Wayfarer: CURSE THAT WITCH OF AN ELF! I'll do it the old-fashioned way! [swings his staff and knocks out Tesseract] (Everyone's silent for a moment.) Rogue Elf: Does that mean it doesn't have to be PG-13 anymore? Last edited by Rána Eressëa : 01-21-2002 at 11:31 PM. |
01-21-2002, 11:31 PM | #244 |
Halfwitted
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Eryn Vorn
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Actually, Gerbil, I'm pretty sure Elijah has had a girlfriend at one time or another. Anyway, the important thing is that I have a Frodo-clone who obeys my every whim! Does anything else really matter?
And Rogue, you'd BETTER not be foolin' around with Frodo#3's brothers!!
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Fingolfin lives! ... in my finger! The Crossroads of Arda - Warning. Halfwit content. Not appropriate for people with IQ of over 18. The Fellowship of the Message Board Nyáréonié - The Tale of Tears Last edited by FrodoFriend : 01-21-2002 at 11:33 PM. |
01-21-2002, 11:39 PM | #245 |
The Rogue Elf
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,722
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Oh, no, I'm perfectly complacent with Frodo #3.
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01-21-2002, 11:40 PM | #246 |
Elf Lord
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: London, UK
Posts: 797
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Can we set up an adults-only board?
I'm soooooo curious to know what FrodoFriend has been up to with Mr Clone here |
01-21-2002, 11:45 PM | #247 |
I am Freddie/UNDERCOVER/ Founder of The Great Continent of Entmoot
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Plainsboro, NJ
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Tesseract may not be as innocent as everyone thinks - you might want to ask him.
if you choose to go beyond PG-13 - be careful of lurking HOBBITS and Darth Taters.
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01-21-2002, 11:46 PM | #248 |
Halfwitted
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Rogue Elf: Does that mean it doesn't have to be PG-13 anymore?
WY: That depends . . . the European PG-13 or the American PG-13? RE: Any PG-13! JD: No!! As your father, I am commanding you to - TS: AI! AI! AI! AI! CH: Wow, four 'AI's! TS: AI! AI! *points at strange figures moving in the dark* *Strange figures advance on group* TS: AI! AI! Sam: Okay, okay, it's just us!! *walks up, followed by FF, and the other two Frodos* FF: Did I hear something about honey-scented Herbal Essences? Frodo#1: We were considering vanilla, ourselves. *Frodo#1 and FF chuckle* JD: So, does anyone know why the lights are out? FF: Energy crisis? Rolling blackouts? WY: We're in the Shopping Mall, not California, fool! FF: Oh, right. Frodo#2: Let's go find out! WY: And you are . . . ? Fr2: *sighs* #2, Sam's. Fr1 & 3: Let's go! The New Company wanders around in the dark for a while, picking up Aldesign, Liv, and anyone else I forgot, as well as a horse and three extras. Extra1: Dude . . . where's my car? Horse: Reeeerrrr! Extra2: Sweet, it's a horse! Extra1: But I want my car, man! Extra3: Do I have a name? Extra1: Dude . . . Horse: Neeeeeeiiiiiiiighrr! CH: *chops Extra1's head off and sighs* A month ago we were saving the world, today we're wandering around a lightless Shopping Mall with a horse. Horse: *neighs offendedly* Reeeeneeeigh!! CH: No offense. Extra2 falls into a deep hole, and Extra3 gets married. The rest of the group continues walking around the seemingly endless Mall. FF: Hey! I think I know why it's dark in here! JD: You mean there's a reason other than to hide Rogue Elf and Frodo3's . . . endeavors? FF: The lightbulbs are all gone! Horse: Nrreeen!! WY: Why is there a horse with us? Horse: *kicks WY* WY: OW! Sorry! Sam: SOMEONE STOLE THE LIGHTBULBS!!! Frodo2: We are dealing with the dreaded . . . Bulb Burglar!!! *Everyone screams!* RE: He has stolen the Lamps!!! FF: What shall we do? He will take all the lightbulbs and feed them to his pet spider, and the world will be lightless forever!!
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Fingolfin lives! ... in my finger! The Crossroads of Arda - Warning. Halfwit content. Not appropriate for people with IQ of over 18. The Fellowship of the Message Board Nyáréonié - The Tale of Tears Last edited by FrodoFriend : 01-22-2002 at 12:02 AM. |
01-21-2002, 11:51 PM | #249 |
I am Freddie/UNDERCOVER/ Founder of The Great Continent of Entmoot
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Plainsboro, NJ
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For some reason, I get the feeling that what is going on with Frodo#3 is beyond R. And I'm sure it's no different with the other Frodos.
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01-21-2002, 11:54 PM | #250 |
Elf Lord
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: London, UK
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Remember - EW doesn't do kissing in these sorts of things!
Which means either he's intensly dull, or he does the Julia Roberts thing at the start of Pretty Woman Or FF has bound and gagged them so their mouths simply aren't available. |
01-21-2002, 11:57 PM | #251 |
The Rogue Elf
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,722
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You know what, Gerbil? You remind me of a comedian I once saw on Comedy Central...
"I think might be gay, because, you see, I think I like Tom Cruise just a little too much. Not that I would have sex with him, but if my girlfriend came home and said she had sex with him, I would be like, 'Details!'" |
01-21-2002, 11:57 PM | #252 |
Elven Warrior
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Pennsylvania, USA
Posts: 128
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First, I should say that I'm honored and humbled to be immortalized in this ongoing saga. (As The Simpsons' Comic Store Guy might say, "Most popular thread EVER.")
I'd add an installment of my own, but I wouldn't want to break the momentum that's happening on here. I can see it now: I'd write a lame continuation, and then I'd get tossed from Entmoot. Wait, never mind; I forgot: "NO ONE tosses a DWARF!!!"   …Couldn't resist. |
01-22-2002, 12:02 AM | #253 |
The Rogue Elf
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,722
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AI! AI! Our beloved Churl is enjoying it!
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01-22-2002, 12:03 AM | #254 |
I am Freddie/UNDERCOVER/ Founder of The Great Continent of Entmoot
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Plainsboro, NJ
Posts: 9,431
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Personally I think this whole Bulb Burglar thing is a cover cooked up by Rogue Elf and Frodo #3 - so they can have some "private" time together.
Just a thought. Of course I wouldn't be surprised is Sam and FrodoFriend weren't in on the whole thing either.
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01-22-2002, 12:03 AM | #255 |
Halfwitted
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Eryn Vorn
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To think of all the sick, demented people necessary to make this the most popular thread ever . . . *sniffs* It's beautiful, beautiful! *bursts into tears*
Hey, I may be a little weird, but I'm not evil ! I have no desire to deprive the entire world of light!
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01-22-2002, 12:07 AM | #256 |
The Rogue Elf
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,722
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Hey, I started the lights out thing, I know! Erm...unless someone else writes it out before me...
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01-22-2002, 12:25 AM | #257 |
Elven Warrior
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: California
Posts: 348
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... Cant any other chicas here just be happy looking at EW glorious facial features without getting horny?... ah well, ..while all other lucky teens experience super freakishly high sex drives, I go on not following instincts properly. I dont think any of that made sense.
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01-22-2002, 12:30 AM | #258 |
Halfwitted
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Eryn Vorn
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Bloody hell! I am not horny! I am NEVER horny! Sorry if I've given you all the wrong impression about me, but I'm really getting a little worried and disturbed. Yes , I am in love with the character of Frodo Baggins. No , I am not in love with Elijah Wood and no I do not want to have sexual relations with him or anybody else, I am not kinky, and I am NOT HORNY!!! It seriously bothers me to have people thinking that about me.
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01-22-2002, 12:34 AM | #259 |
I am Freddie/UNDERCOVER/ Founder of The Great Continent of Entmoot
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Plainsboro, NJ
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well actually I wasn't thinking that about you. Just your character from way back when Frodo was held captive in the tower.
Write out the darkness then before Rogue Elf gets too carried away.
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01-22-2002, 12:41 AM | #260 |
Elven Warrior
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Location: California
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whoa whoa!...chiiiiiill. I didnt mean anything by it. I'm sorry, FF.
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