07-21-2010, 04:34 AM | #241 |
Elf Lady
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: In the lands where mountains are but a fairytale
Posts: 8,588
|
There is underwear for that you know.
__________________
Love always, deeply and true ★ Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer. ★ Friendship is sharing openly, laughing often, trusting always, caring deeply.
...The Earth laughs in flowers ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Hamatreya"... |
07-22-2010, 05:43 PM | #242 |
Half-Elven Princess of Rabbit Trails and Harp-Wielding Administrator (beware the Rubber Chicken of Doom!)
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Not where I want to be ...
Posts: 15,254
|
We just got an awesome bakers' rack for $25 on Craigslist - we were looking for something to hold the towels by the pool, and my husband thought of a bakers' rack, and we found one that went great with the pool furniture and was only $25! Started at $40, then 30, then by the time we contacted them it was 25!
__________________
. I should be doing the laundry, but this is MUCH more fun! Ñá ë?* óú éä ïöü Öñ É Þ ð ß ® ç å ™ æ ♪ ?* "How lovely are Thy dwelling places, O Lord of hosts! ... For a day in Thy courts is better than a thousand outside." (from Psalm 84) * * * God rocks! Entmoot : Veni, vidi, velcro - I came, I saw, I got hooked! Ego numquam pronunciare mendacium, sed ego sum homo indomitus! Run the earth and watch the sky ... Auta i lómë! Aurë entuluva! |
07-31-2010, 09:00 PM | #243 |
Cardboard Harp of Gondor Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: IM IN UR POSTZ, EDITIN' UR WURDZ
Posts: 6,433
|
I really want to have kids. :-/ I've known I wanted to be a dad for years and years, and I even used to freak my parents out when I was younger by talking about how some day I'd like to adopt.
Buuuut unfortunately my situation's a bit weird. For multiple reasons. It seems crazy. I feel like some of the girls I know who say things like, "Oh I just wanna get married and have kids!" and that's their entire ambition in life. To have kids. I mean that's not my only goal... dang, far from my only goal, I have a zillion big ones I'm hoping to achieve... but I really, really, really want to have kids and try to be a great dad. I don't even know why. I mean I love kids but I know lots of people who love kids but don't want to have any. I'm only venting about it because it's been hugely on my mind for the last few months, and unfortunately it's not something I can discuss with my family because it would make for some majorly awkward conversations. |
07-31-2010, 09:36 PM | #244 |
Dread Mothy Lord and Halfwitted Apprentice Loremaster
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Thomas Aquinas College, Santa Paula, CA
Posts: 10,820
|
I'm sure you already know this, but adoption is an option; not right now, perhaps, but once you've got a decent career, creating a child-friendly home and adopting will be possible. Just give it a little time.
__________________
Crux fidelis, inter omnes arbor una nobilis. Nulla talem silva profert, fronde, flore, germine. Dulce lignum, dulce clavo, dulce pondus sustinens. 'With a melon?' - Eric Idle |
07-31-2010, 10:13 PM | #245 |
Cardboard Harp of Gondor Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: IM IN UR POSTZ, EDITIN' UR WURDZ
Posts: 6,433
|
Well there are multiple obstacles. From what I understand when a single male attempts to adopt a child there is a major fear of pedophilia and so they really, really, really don't like to let single men adopt. Also there are emotional and time management difficulties to being a single parent not just for the parent, but for the child.
For me there are obstacles to not being a single parent... as a Catholic it's not like I can go find a life partner of some sort, and considering that I have serious doubts about the ability for therapy to turn someone straight.... meh? I guess I'm going to try that eventually, but I have doubts. It would be super awesome if I could get into therapy and a few years later be straight... don't get me wrong, I'd be totally on board for that, but as we've discussed in the past I have major doubts about that being possible. I guess I'm not so much struggling with the desire to be a father, I'm struggling with the 'how to become a father' on several levels. |
08-01-2010, 01:40 AM | #246 |
Dread Mothy Lord and Halfwitted Apprentice Loremaster
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Thomas Aquinas College, Santa Paula, CA
Posts: 10,820
|
I would imagine that it is harder for a single male to adopt than a single female, but I'm sure it would be possible, with the right agency. This article focuses on surrogacy, but suggests similar increases in single male adoption lately. Of course, it's possible that it might not end up not being a possibility; the drain for both parent and child you mentioned would be a major consideration, and I'm sure it would require a lot of work to create a life where single parenting is an option. Regardless, it would definitely be a ways down the road. Don't write off the possibility yet, though.
__________________
Crux fidelis, inter omnes arbor una nobilis. Nulla talem silva profert, fronde, flore, germine. Dulce lignum, dulce clavo, dulce pondus sustinens. 'With a melon?' - Eric Idle Last edited by Gwaimir Windgem : 08-01-2010 at 01:44 AM. |
08-01-2010, 01:18 PM | #247 |
Elf Lady
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: In the lands where mountains are but a fairytale
Posts: 8,588
|
Another option, if you're up for it, is becoming a foster parent. You can be a full-time or part-time or even a special occasions foster parent and it's open for single people as well. In the Netherlands it requires taking a course and handing in forms stating you've never done anything illegal and stuff, but it is IMO a good option.
One I'm considering for myself actually, though obviously you'll need to be able to prove that your finances are in a healthy state and that your living space is suitable for it.
__________________
Love always, deeply and true ★ Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer. ★ Friendship is sharing openly, laughing often, trusting always, caring deeply.
...The Earth laughs in flowers ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Hamatreya"... |
08-01-2010, 04:54 PM | #248 |
The Chocoholic Sea Elf Administrator
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: N?n in Eilph (Belgium)
Posts: 14,363
|
However becoming a fosterparent isn't without its own difficulties. From what I've heard, it can be terribly demanding and draining. The chances are that the kids that will be put into your care may have faced already hardship and difficulties and may require special care and attention. And you'll never have the same rights as ordinary parents, while you will also have to be prepared to hand the kids over again at any time. You will likely never see them grow up through their whole childhood.
__________________
We are not things. |
08-01-2010, 05:52 PM | #249 |
Elf Lady
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: In the lands where mountains are but a fairytale
Posts: 8,588
|
That's the whole point of being a foster parent, though in the Netherlands there is long term and short term care and you can say which age group you'd be most comfortable with.
By the by, fosterparents have the same rights as 'ordinary' parents when it comes to taking off from work to care for your child etc. But yeah, if the child needs to go to the hospital, the parents need to give permission. It is difficult to be a foster parent and you certainly need to be up for it (during the course you will also find out whether it's something for you or not), but I think it might also be very rewarding. And they always need new foster parents. An interesting thing is that they don't match parents with an available child, but a child with available parents. The kids go first.
__________________
Love always, deeply and true ★ Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer. ★ Friendship is sharing openly, laughing often, trusting always, caring deeply.
...The Earth laughs in flowers ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Hamatreya"... |
08-04-2010, 11:38 PM | #250 |
Elf Lord
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Ilha Formosa
Posts: 2,068
|
Since you're Catholic, that rules out surrogacy; since you're Catholic, that rules out marriage; since you're Catholic, that rules out a stable relationship; and, from a quick check around the web, your Church not only opposes single-parent adoption, it absolutely opposes adoptions by gay people.
So it looks like you are simply out of options as long as you wish to stay in line with the beliefs of the Catholic Church.
__________________
Glendower: I can call spirits from the vasty deep. Hotspur: Why, so can I, or so can any man; But will they come when you do call for them? "I like pigs. Dogs look up to us, cats look down on us, but pigs treat us as equals."- Winston Churchill |
08-04-2010, 11:55 PM | #251 |
Dread Mothy Lord and Halfwitted Apprentice Loremaster
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Thomas Aquinas College, Santa Paula, CA
Posts: 10,820
|
I would need references about opposition by the Catholic Church to adoption by singles, as well as to adoption by gay people, as opposed to gay couples. I'm sure you can find plenty of individual Catholics on the internet who do, but that's hardly saying anything, since there are many individual Catholics (especially online) who stand opposed to Catholic teaching at both ends of the political spectrum.
So, any official Church teaching you can turn up on the matter would be great interest.
__________________
Crux fidelis, inter omnes arbor una nobilis. Nulla talem silva profert, fronde, flore, germine. Dulce lignum, dulce clavo, dulce pondus sustinens. 'With a melon?' - Eric Idle Last edited by Gwaimir Windgem : 08-04-2010 at 11:56 PM. |
08-05-2010, 02:21 AM | #252 |
Elf Lord
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Ilha Formosa
Posts: 2,068
|
I stand corrected.
While I don't know where to get official Catholic policy on this, from various items it appears that the Church's stand (in Britain at least) is that adoption should be available to married heterosexuals and singles, including gay singles. Since they oppose both gay and unmarried heterosexual couples adopting, I guess the operating assumption is that all those singles are living chastely....
__________________
Glendower: I can call spirits from the vasty deep. Hotspur: Why, so can I, or so can any man; But will they come when you do call for them? "I like pigs. Dogs look up to us, cats look down on us, but pigs treat us as equals."- Winston Churchill |
08-05-2010, 08:20 AM | #253 |
The Chocoholic Sea Elf Administrator
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: N?n in Eilph (Belgium)
Posts: 14,363
|
Indeed, it's not for everyone. I for one don't think I'm cut out for it. It takes a stronger person than me.
__________________
We are not things. |
08-05-2010, 01:27 PM | #254 |
Entmoot Attorney-General,
Equilibrating the Scales of Justice, Administrator ♎ Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Stockholm, Sweden
Posts: 3,891
|
You don't know unless you've tried... though I'm not suggesting you should
Phew! Work today was insane. Literally. It isn't everyday that you get to unintentionally sow discord between two co-workers... Senior Dr A and Nurse B had a heated argument about whether a certain patient should have been admitted at all. Mind you, yours truly admitted the patient in the first place (But for the record, IMO the patient was completely bonkers and definitely should be admitted somewhere).
__________________
An unwritten post is a delightful universe of infinite possibilities. Set down one word, however, and it immediately becomes earthbound. Set down one sentence and it’s halfway to being just like every other bloody entry that’s ever been written. ☻ |
08-05-2010, 01:29 PM | #255 | |
Cardboard Harp of Gondor Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: IM IN UR POSTZ, EDITIN' UR WURDZ
Posts: 6,433
|
Quote:
But in all seriousness, sorry for the stressful situation. O_o That's rough. |
|
08-05-2010, 01:48 PM | #256 |
Entmoot Attorney-General,
Equilibrating the Scales of Justice, Administrator ♎ Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Stockholm, Sweden
Posts: 3,891
|
Haha, oh dear - my life is a medical drama! Like psychiatry's equivalent to what Grey's Anatomy is to surgery
__________________
An unwritten post is a delightful universe of infinite possibilities. Set down one word, however, and it immediately becomes earthbound. Set down one sentence and it’s halfway to being just like every other bloody entry that’s ever been written. ☻ |
08-05-2010, 04:15 PM | #257 |
Elf Lady
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: In the lands where mountains are but a fairytale
Posts: 8,588
|
I thought Grey's Anatomy was about a psychiatric ward in the first place
__________________
Love always, deeply and true ★ Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer. ★ Friendship is sharing openly, laughing often, trusting always, caring deeply.
...The Earth laughs in flowers ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Hamatreya"... |
08-06-2010, 10:59 PM | #258 |
Cardboard Harp of Gondor Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: IM IN UR POSTZ, EDITIN' UR WURDZ
Posts: 6,433
|
Despite my attempts to appear at least slightly more masculine, I am "positively adorable." I videotaped my voice lesson today on my laptop and have been watching it in amused horror.
Welp. Back to work on that, I guess. I don't even know where to begin, now. I thought I was doing better... which I guess I am doing better. At least I don't look awkward any more. Cuz, you know, adorably fruity is better than awkward. This is fun. |
08-07-2010, 04:50 PM | #259 |
the Shrike
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: San Francisco, CA <3
Posts: 10,647
|
Tess, dear Tess, why are you trying to be something you're not? *smacks Tessar upside the head*
__________________
"Binary solo! 0000001! 00000011! 0000001! 00000011!" ~ The Humans are Dead, Flight of the Conchords |
08-07-2010, 10:57 PM | #260 | |
Dread Mothy Lord and Halfwitted Apprentice Loremaster
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Thomas Aquinas College, Santa Paula, CA
Posts: 10,820
|
Quote:
For myself, I know that I am Not Masculine. I am also Not Feminine. I am me.
__________________
Crux fidelis, inter omnes arbor una nobilis. Nulla talem silva profert, fronde, flore, germine. Dulce lignum, dulce clavo, dulce pondus sustinens. 'With a melon?' - Eric Idle Last edited by Gwaimir Windgem : 08-07-2010 at 11:04 PM. |
|
|
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
"Temporary" Venting Thread IV | Mari | General Messages | 1000 | 10-06-2009 01:18 AM |