"Temporary" Venting Thread V

[Earniel]

Yikes!

I hope things will look up for you soon. *hugs*

[Mari]

Sorry to hear that *hug*

[Rían]

Thanks! *hugsback*

Last night was better - we talked for about an hour with no defensiveness. It's just been incredibly hard here for both of us, and we're both just very sensitive to criticism, real or perceived. The night before, hubby asked me to pay back our son for something he picked up at Home Depot, and I just innocently asked, "Oh, what did he pick up?" because I was curious, and he just jumped on me and said, "Why did you ask that?!" He thought I was going to criticize what he asked our son to pick up for the house, when all I meant was to ask because I was curious. I know that I tend to over-analyze things, and he perceives this as criticism for how he does things, and I just need to stop being such an engineer (which was my job before I quit to be a full-time mom) and loosen up, because he really does do things amazingly well and saves us oodles of money because he can fix so many things himself. And he needs to loosen up, too, and not be such a production expert (which is his job) and just let me cut veggies how I want to cut them, even if he knows a way that he thinks is more efficient! I guess we both need to drop our work psyche at home, and realize that there is more than one good way to do something, and that your spouse just does things differently and that's fine.

[Tessar]

Originally Posted by RÃ*an

Thanks! *hugsback*

Last night was better - we talked for about an hour with no defensiveness. It's just been incredibly hard here for both of us, and we're both just very sensitive to criticism, real or perceived. The night before, hubby asked me to pay back our son for something he picked up at Home Depot, and I just innocently asked, "Oh, what did he pick up?" because I was curious, and he just jumped on me and said, "Why did you ask that?!" He thought I was going to criticize what he asked our son to pick up for the house, when all I meant was to ask because I was curious. I know that I tend to over-analyze things, and he perceives this as criticism for how he does things, and I just need to stop being such an engineer (which was my job before I quit to be a full-time mom) and loosen up, because he really does do things amazingly well and saves us oodles of money because he can fix so many things himself. And he needs to loosen up, too, and not be such a production expert (which is his job) and just let me cut veggies how I want to cut them, even if he knows a way that he thinks is more efficient! I guess we both need to drop our work psyche at home, and realize that there is more than one good way to do something, and that your spouse just does things differently and that's fine.

*MORE HUGS* I'm glad that you guys got to talk things out. I hope your situation continues to improve. Sorry you still hate Arizona :-/.

[Jonathan]

*Joins in the RÃ*an-hugging* I reckon it's tough, and inflammatory pain on top of that doesn't make it better. I'm glad you and your hubby could lay aside the defensiveness for a bit

[Rían]

Wow, all these hugs are great, and they don't even hurt my shoulder!

I think we may have hit a turning point - had a good talk last night, too. And the dr. called and wants to try me on another anti-inflammatory that hopefully won't be as hard on the stomach.

[Ingwe]

So, I'm back finally. What has it been? Months? A quarter of a year? Last year? Who knows, who cares, right!?

Life is...alright I guess. I mean, family is the one thing keeping me going. If not for that, I'd already be exploring the crater of an active volcano as we speak. Still feeling much the same as some of you might remember - the more things change, the more they stay the same. Some deaths in the family - only made way for things to get worse. It's practically been the year of death. My last grandparent passed in February. A friend of mine went just last week from cancer. Not the best thing.

The weather's getting better, but not my attitude. Usually with brighter weather comes brighter times. But this year, may as well be walking through Mordor with nothing more than the clothes on my back and a blunt sword.

How is everyone doing? Hope no bad news. I can accept it if I have nothing but bad news because it seems to be the way of the decade so far, but not if everyone else does too.

[Tessar]

Okay, I was gonna just blow this off and not let it upset me, but now I'm kind of angry.

Last night I made a list, had EVERYONE check it, people put more stuff on it, etc.... then I went to the grocery store. I got back, and my dad was sitting in a chair talking to someone on the phone and didn't get up or even acknowledge me while I made three trips in and out to bring in groceries.

Then I moved my car down the street, came back in and he was STILL on the phone, so I put away all of the groceries by myself.

Whatever... it's his money paying for the food and I'm grateful to have it, so I just blew it off as nothing. Mind you he would be furious if he had to do the shopping and no one helped him unload or put it away. Also neither my mom nor my sister came downstairs to help with any of it, although my mom may have been asleep.

But this morning I wake up and guess what? My parents are at the grocery store.

I know I shouldn't be, but I'm very insulted and actually rather hurt. I don't think I would care except for the thing last night where he didn't help. So it's like not only do I get no thanks for doing -all- of the work (did I mention I also cooked dinner last night and got no thanks for it? and did the dishes) but now they just up and decided that I either didn't get the right things or that they wanted something else after I brought them the dang list!! Geeze. -_-

Whatever, it's just food. At least I have the stuff I wanted to get, so that's a huge plus .

[Valandil]

This is pretty minor.

I finally got my new glasses yesterday. And they're really small, and tight on my face, and I'm having a hard time getting used to them.

The good thing about them - they give me the super-power to be able to clearly see things close-up which had otherwise become blurry in recent months.

So it's sort of a mixed vent.

[Tessar]

Originally Posted by Valandil

This is pretty minor.

I finally got my new glasses yesterday. And they're really small, and tight on my face, and I'm having a hard time getting used to them.

The good thing about them - they give me the super-power to be able to clearly see things close-up which had otherwise become blurry in recent months.

So it's sort of a mixed vent.

If your glasses aren't comfortable you should try to see about exchanging them... or possibly they just need some adjusting? Like maybe they're bent inwards too much? I honestly don't know how all of that works, but either way I'd really consider checking with your eye-person to see if there's something you can do.


My vent is also minor... super stressed out trying to figure out how my 'timeline' is going to work out... trying to calculate out the money I'll need/have for stuff and when to switch my major.

My parents want me to pull back on the amount of hours that I'm taking, but what I'm seeing is that it's possible that if I work really hard I could be out of college in two years. My parents are saying that they don't care if it takes me longer, but I'm so sick of working on my undergrad! I've been in college for five years (part time the first two) and I STILL have a minimum of two years left to go. I am so sick of it. My sisters also got into college at 16 and they didn't take seven years to get a degree. -_-

I know for my voice the timing should actually be pretty okay, but as far as being in school... I'm just so sick of feeling like I'm stuck in the same place, and of knowing that despite covering some of my own expenses myself (car maintenance, gasoline, school tuition, etc.) I'm still a sizable financial drain on my parents. :-/ I know they're okay with it, but I still feel like a leech.

Then of course there's gradschool to worry about... is anyone even going to want me? Am I going to end up in a business career spending all of my time and resources trying to get into a performance career and failing because I'm not good enough or because I can't get into a decent grad program? Argh. So frustrating... Stupid singing stuff . Where's my crystal ball when I need it?

[Mari]

Tell me about it. Not knowing the future can be quite stressing. >_< Being in school for 6 years too. >_<

Val, I agree with Tess that if you can't get used to it, maybe it needs some adjusting. I hope you don't get stuck with a pair of glasses you can't really wear, like me. >_<

[Tessar]

Dang it, I have to translate pretty much the entire opera La Boheme. >.< Argh, translation is sooooooo frustrating!!!!!! You sit there for hours at a time and really only get a couple of pages done because you have to look up every word in the dang dictionary.

At least the reward of actually knowing what you're singing is worth it.

[Gwaimir Windgem]

Have you taken any Italian? This is where a background in Latin comes in handy; it's (relatively ) easy for me to read operatic Italian.

[EllethValatari]

Venting, right? Okay:

I have my humanities final tomorrow which is cumulative of 30 books we have read over the course of the year!!! It also covers all world history from 0 to 2000 A.D! I might die tonight from the stress of studying so pray for me. If we don't make over an 80%, we are required to take a summer class! AAAAH

[Tessar]

Grrrrr!!! I may be expecting results too quickly here, but I'm frustrated with my weight at the moment. I've been following the diet, and I feel great and I know I've dropped a couple of pounds but none of it seems to be coming off of my stomach, which is my 'problem' area.

The pants that I'm trying to get to not feel so tight (I can still wear 'em with no problem, but they were starting to verge on uncomfortable) don't feel ANY different. I know I bought the pants about three years ago (I was 18-19), so I'm wondering if they've shrunk... but I think that's just an excuse .

So I've decided to cut back on my food intake somewhat, even if it is healthy stuff. So now I'm hungry, and angry because my stupid diet is making me feel more energetic but it's not doing what I REALLY wanted and lowering my body fat %. -_-

I haven't said anything to my family about it, because it's kind of a dumb complaint. I'm wearing 32" waist pants, and they still fit... just not the way I want them to. I feel like I've got a fat middle and everything else is too scrawny. BLARGH. I'm 6' 2" and I weigh about 170. That's welllll within my dang BMI. Why don't I fit in my stupid pants?! >.<

I think part of the problem is I haven't been as proactive as I should be about exercising. Stopped going to the gym when I got sick two months ago, and I've done a lot of walking but that's it. I feel like the only 'good' thing I've done this past week was stick to my diet... I haven't really practiced or worked out or done any of the things I meant to do.

So BOO on all of that, and I'm going to fix it starting first thing tomorrow morning. No more being lazy. Or fat.

[Gwaimir Windgem]

I feel like I've got a fat middle and everything else is too scrawny.

I know what you mean. Both my ribs and my belly are rather more prominent than I care for.

Of course, I'm too lazy to do anything about it.

[katya]

They say stomach fat is one of the last places to go. I've maybe lost some of the weight I gained recently but.. I'm still looking a little chubby lately. Especially naked. People tell me I look thin when I have lots of clothes on though.

[Gwaimir Windgem]

They do the same thing to me; when I went to see my brother a couple of weeks ago, he was vaguely horrified. He seemed to think that I'd break in half if he hugged me.

[Gwaimir Windgem]

My Kierkegaard professor re-scheduled next week's class to meet on Friday. Unfortunately, I'm leaving town on Thursday, and will be gone through the rest of the following week, so now I'm going to have to miss two classes in a row. Which is even worse, 'cause it's only a seven-week course. Crap.

[Tessar]

Originally Posted by Gwaimir Windgem

My Kierkegaard professor re-scheduled next week's class to meet on Friday. Unfortunately, I'm leaving town on Thursday, and will be gone through the rest of the following week, so now I'm going to have to miss two classes in a row. Which is even worse, 'cause it's only a seven-week course. Crap.

Aww man, sorry about that .