War For All Of Middle Earth™!

[Nazgûl Queen]

*Earniel climbs onto the back of Poiples mother and the three other Dragons fly along as they journey back to Angband, when Poiple's mother (Scarlet) changes direction.*

Poiple: Errrrrm... isn't Angband the OTHER WAY?!

Scarlet: I need to do a small mission for NQ first

Poiple: Ohhh...

*they fly over to where Grady is standing and Scarlet swoops down and grabs the staff out of his hands. Being a fire dragon, it naturally has no effect on her - she's immune to it!*

Grady: HEY! BRING THAT BACK!!!

Scarlet: Why should we?

Grady: I need it to take over Middleearth!!!

Entesse: So do we!

Scaley: Yeah!!!

Earniel: And it's an unfair addvantage to you...

Scarlet: Besides, it should belong with the fire breathing creatures.

*they fly away before the lava Monsters can do anything and are soon out of sight and on their way back to Angband with their new weapon.*

Grady: Damn... I uess I need a new power... what do you guys think of water?

Lava Spiders: Erm...

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

OOC: I belive Katt, NQ, and Rache are all still in one place... I like dungions.

Katt: Hang on, you are not on Human's side either?

NQ: No.

Katt: Oh, well. I suppose you are on your own side then?

NQ: I'm not sure.

Rache: She and Earniel and the dragons are all on one side. Human is all alone except for Elrond, Glorfindel and Goldigollum.

NQ: How do you know that?

Rache: I'm keeping score.

Katt: Wonderful child. Anyway, are you going to join with Human?

NQ: I don't know. I think I'm supposed to stay in the dungion.

Katt: Oh. I can get you out you know.

NQ: Really?

Katt: Yes. I would go join Human, but then that would mean fighting and losing and putting my daughter in danger.

NQ: You are assuming that Human will loose.

Katt: I know so.

Rache: Even with all her ninja's? How can anyone possibly fight them?

Katt: Maggie is more powerful than you could ever imagine. We are playing her game now. We do not know any of the rules.

Rache: Oh stop the silly hackneed similies mother.

Katt: Oh all right dear. *TO NQ* I really think you should join Human. With your help, they might just be the victors.

NQ: I think I might.

Katt: Wonderful. And one more thing, if you are victorious, remember who helped you escape, and have pity on your enimies.

NQ: Is it just me, or is everyone suddenly developing Brittish accents?

Katt: Farewell! *She drew a door on the wall, opened it, and NQ walked out of Imladris*

[Willow Oran]

(Sadly they walk right into Rivindell.)

Maggie: Really you three, did you seriously think that I wasn't watching you?

Katt: Um... Yes?

Maggie: I should tell you right now, Human will lose, you're safest bet is to allie with me.

(At that moment Earniel and Co. crash through the open window and onto the floor of the room.)

Earniel: What the- oh no... not again!

Maggie: Yes again. (to herself) You'd think these people would remember that I specialize in illusions and confusing directions. (end aside) I apologize for the inconvinience dear, but I'd appreciate it if you returned my brother's invention to us.

Scarlet: But that gives you people an unfair advantage!

Maggie: No, it really doesn't. Trust me, Grady tends to exaggerate the power his weapons are capable of, I'll make sure to tone it down a bit before giving back to him, after all, can't have the little sibling get too powerful now, can I?

Scarlet: Promise?

Maggie: Absolutely. Now you five may leave, Nazgul Queen will be staying here as my guest for a while longer and I'm sure she doesn't want her army left unattended.

(The Elf and dragons leave very quickly.)

Katt: (backing away slowly) Right, I'll just go back to the dungeon now shall I?

Rache: Yeah, it's probably safer there. Bye! (they run back the way they came.)

Nazgul Queen: So... what now?

Maggie: I think i'm supposed to do horrible things to you now, but I don't particularily feel like that sort of thing right now so how `bout we go and have tea, and possibly an alliance?

[Duddun]

OOC:I am changing from speaking as if i was Frerin to just telling what he did cause it's easier.

*Soon the 10 rabid monkeys arrived in Imladris and started exploring the place to see what was going on. They split up and start searching. Rabid monkey#5 ends up in the dungeon and runs into Nazgul Queen and Maggie. He hears Maggie say "and possibly an alliance".

[Human#3.141592653]

OOC: Hey! I'm not a loser! Just um...yeah.


Grady's army of spiders:

Grady was just enjoying a lovely pot of tea, when human came leapign out fo the bushes, brandishing a very large aerosol can of Raid, Raoch and Spider. He begins to spray the toxcin all over Grady's army of spiders, who writhe and begin to die.

Grady: *In a british accent* It's this just lovely tea! I really should be saving my army from a terrible a pain full death, but I just can't stop munching on this biscuit! *munches biscuit*

Human: That's because I've unleashed one of my secret weapons: Britscrolliousis! And there is no cure!! Wa ha ha ha ha ha!

Grady: Oh dear! *Munches biscuit*

After destroying Grady's army, human uses a small personal hand fan to blow Zavron's mist army into the heavens.....

[Duddun]

Frerin sees this strange fume coming from Mirkwood and rides there himself with all his army. Except the workers and a small army. He arrives just in time, for the spiders had not died yet, they were only about to die. He soon set his monkeys to work healing the spiders and making sure they were ok. Tingleclaw was in a very poor state, but Frerin healed him himself.

[Earniel]

Scaley: Can we stop running now?

Eärniel: Just a little longer! I want as much distance between me and Maggie as possible. That girl is evil! EVIL! I tell ya!

Scarlet: I thought that was the whole point....

*They finally stop when they're safe and sound in Angband*

Eärniel: Fiew..... So this is Angband eh? Mmm... looks a bit depressing. Sure could use a little redecorating....

Scarlet: Um... I'm not so sure my mistress will be pleased with that.

[Masderanoe]

OOC: That staff is not to dangerous. All it does is summon two mosters. It can make no more than two unless one dies then I have to make all those runes all over again. It took a while. It also can insinerate things in a few seconds which is not much more than what the fire spiders can do.

Grady finishes his tea just in time. The crazy evil people were about to try another attempt to killl the spiders. When Grady stood up said a few words about Mirkwood and him being all powerful there, and something about smiley faces not sure what that was all about, then a big happy I forget the rest bowling ball appeared in his hand it shot up into the sky and sent his enemies all the way back to Imladris.

Grady: Hmm I wonder if that spider web is still there. I really hope so. I hope it's still flaming too.

All of a sudden he started crying.

Grady: I WANT MY STAFF BACK!

Monster: We'll go get it for you.

Grady (still crying): GO THEN GET IT BACK!

The monsters run as fast as they can to get the staff.

Grady: Why did they want it? They should know that Billy only works for me.

Spider: Umm Billy?

Grady: I named the staff Billy.

Suddenly he let out a great cry.

Spider to another spider: Why does he need the staff? In this state he could just drown Middle Earth in tears.

Another great cry.

A while of Frerin is getting a head ache.

Frerin: WHAT IS THAT NOISE!

Spider: Umm

Frerin: Could someone tell Grady to tell the person whoever is making that noise to stop it!!

Spider: Umm you better go talk to a dragon.

Frerin: I think I will.

The two mosters walk up to the dragon and ask if they can have the staff.

Scarlet: No!

Monster: Why not?

Scarlet: Beause Maggie took it

Monster: Oh

They go to Imladris and ask Maggie if they can have the staff.

Monster: Will you please give it to us, he's giving everyone a head ache in Mirkwood.

Maggie: Sure here's the staff.

Maggie hands Frerin the staff and his hands get burned.

Monster: Umm maybe I should take that.

Frerin: Ok

They return to Mirkwood with the staff.

Grady: YAY! Billy. Thank you for getting my staff back, but you might want to leave if you don't like smoke fire and destruction.

Frerin: Umm I think i'll head back to Fangorn now.

Spider: Good idea.

Grady to the surrounding spiders: After recent attacks I've decided to improve our defenses.

Spider: What do you mean?

Grady: I hope you all like fire, and I mean it's time to get busy!

A massive amount of spiders start to tear down the surroundoing wooden walls. They are replaced with stainless steel stone. The walls were made like a kings crown around Mirkwood. At the top of each tip on the wall there was a large pot of fire from which smoke rose from. Stone domes were built around each city and on the domes flaming trees were set. The pathways were layed with stone and large walls with flames on top were made surrounding the path. (With the occasional gate into the forest.)

Many new spiders were made. Now in Mirkwood there was an giant army of spiders. all ready for battle. Mirkwood was now protected by smoke in the air and walls around it. Not to mention the guards and army. Mirkwood was now complete.

[Nazgûl Queen]

*Unbeknownst to all, NQ had a secret weapon... and a genetically enhanced balrog comes to the entrance*

Balrog: Who are you?

Earniel: Ummmm... well... I'm... errrr... Earniel...

Scarlet: I am Scarlet, of the Dragon Army

Balrog: Ah, Scarlet, i have heard of you and your young Dragon guests... but the human has to stay outside.

Earniel: I'M AN ELF!!!!!!

Balrog: Whatever you are, get out!!!

*The young Dragons poke their tongues out at Earniel and enter the gates, leaving her alone outside*

Earniel: Hmph. *bashes on the doors* LET ME IN!!!!!!!!!

Balrog: *looking outside* Oh, it's you again. What do YOU want???

Earniel: Well... the Army...

Balrog: OH, it's YOU! I've heard a great deal about you...

Earniel: *is worried*

Balrog: My Mistress sent a message that you were allowed inside, but you sleep in the guest rooms and may not go anywhere without supervision...

Earniel: Of course, of course...

Balrog: AND NO REDECORATING!!!!!! *steals her paintcan*

Earniel: Damn.

Balrog: You have the worst rooms in the palace... *takes them to the West Wing which is bright and sunny and overlooking a... *shock horror* garden... full of horrible loathsome flowers and birds...

[Earniel]

OOC: Oh, you're evil NQ! EVIL! .....I like it. :evil

Eärniel: *enters the room, prepared for the worst* Hey, this isn't that bad....

Balrog:*surprised* It isn't?

Eärniel: Nope, lovely lighting, pretty colours... oh and just look at that adorable little garden! Isn't is beautiful?

Balrog:*worried* It is?

Eärniel: Oh look! Birds! And butterflies! *starts whistling to the birds*

Balrog:*very worried* But... but that isn't a good thing, is it?

Eärniel: Smell those flowers! Lavender! Daisies! Roses!

*Eärniel continues to whistle to the birds and since she's an elf, the birds come to her and fly around her singing. A touching disney moment ensues.*

Balrog: *on the edge of panic* No! This isn't supposed to happen!

Eärniel: *drops on the bed* mmmm, soft silk. Give my complements to your mistress. She certainly knows to house guests!

balrog:...... *looks depressed*

*Then suddenly....*

Eärniel: AAAAAAAAAAH! PINK!

Balrog: *suddenly hopeful again* I knew it couldn't last long....

Eärniel: No! No pink! I hate PINK! HATESSSSSS it! AAAAAAH!

Balrog: *smugly* Good. *closes door*

Eärniel: No! You can't leave me here with this.. this ... PINK!

[Duddun]

Frerin and his armies go back to Fangorn. Frerin still having a horrible burned hand. They arrive and continue progress on the city which is almost done.

[Willow Oran]

(In Imladris, NQ and Maggie have finished tea and some preliminary tenative plans for an alliance. Maggie is now attending to other buisness, what to do about Human.)

Maggie: Willow! Get in here!

Willow: Yes? What is it?

Maggie: I need you to keep an eye on Katt, Rache and NQ for me.

Willow: Why?

Maggie: I have to leave for a bit. I have received word from my spies that Human is planning to do something so foul and cruel to her hostages that it must be stopped.

Willow: I thought they were all in the pleasent field dimension?

Maggie: They were, but no longer. I must go and find them and inflict a more... permanet solution to Human's cruelty.

Willow: Very well...

OOC: What on earth is Maggie planning to do to Human, and what is Human planning to do to Glorfindel and Elrond?

[Duddun]

(Meanwhile in Fangorn)
Working RM#56: Sir, the city has been finished.
Frerin: Great, now we can start building our army.
Working RM#56: Yes sir, I shall go command them to start the breeding.

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

*Meanwhile, in the dungion again, everyone is starting to get really sick of being prisioners, no matter how nice the dungion is.*

Katt: Willow, do you realize how long we have been here?

Rache: Ages. Ever since I was born.

NQ: *goggles* Ten whole years?!?

Katt: No, we have been here about a week. Rache is ten years old because of some thing that I haven't made up yet.

NQ: Um, ok.

Katt: *Goes back to Willow* Do you realize how much stuff is going on out there that we are missing? It wouldn't be so bad if I had an assignment, but no! I have to stay in this stupid dungion just because I wanted to get something done. *pouts* *gets idea* Don't you get tiered Willow? Guarding seems to be your sole job. Wouldn't you like to get out of Imladris for a while? You know, stretch your wings?

Willow: *Rolls eyes at Katt* Katt, go sit down.

Katt: *Glares at Willow but sits down anyway.*

[Willow Oran]

Willow: Katt, this is hardly a dugeon, though you insist on calling it one, it's a suite of rooms in the Last Homely House, if you want to go outside then you can walk in the garden out there, you just can't escape.

Katt: Are you sure we can't? I mean surely all this guarding is boring to you.

NQ: And hanging around inside when you should be outside, free to fly... It must be horrible.

Willow: I'm 2 and 1/2 feet tall, I have plenty of room to fly around in here.

Rache: (To herself) You'd think they'd start using a different tatic, wouldn't you...

[Masderanoe]

Meanwhile in Mirkwood everyone is getting tired of the toxic fumes.

Spikelegs: Come on Grady could you please make it easier for us to get a little fresh air. I mean I love the toxic fumes and all but it really does get a little stuffy after a week or so.

Grady: Fine we'll build a tower.

Spikelegs: A tower?

Grady: Yes a really really big tower.

Spikelegs: But that we'll take years.

Grady: No it won't we managed to change Mirkwood into a fuming fortress in one day, and Rache is already ten years old even though she was born a week ago.

Spikelegs: Ok but how on earth would a tower help us?

Grady: It will be so big that the top reaches out of the layer of toxic fumes.

Spikelegs looks up a few thousand feat at the swirling red and black smoke.

Spikelegs: Umm ok. That's really really really big.

Grady: I know I like big things.

Spikelegs: I've noticed.

The spiders begin working on the building, but get know where until Tingleclaw tells them that you have to build it from the ground up, not up to the ground. Finally after two days the tower was complete. At ground level there was a massive hall with air conditioners and fresh water. At the second level there was a restaurant. and at the third there was a hotel. Then at the fourth was a empty hall and at one side there was a staircase.

Grady: What's that staircase for?

Spider: Go up it and find out.

They went up and up and up and up until they reached the 100th floor. At this floor there was a restaurant and a hotel. They stopped to eat and then they continued up and up. Now the staircase got narrower, and at every 100th floor there was a food bar. The staircase went up 900 stories until finally they entered a room. In the room there was a food stand and a large door. There were a few spider guards at the door and they opened it for them. On the other side of the door there were some more guards, and the staircase continued. The staircase went in a spiral and became very narrow until finally there was a thick pure silver door. Next to it was a key. Grady took the key and opened the door. It led out onto the top of the tower. They stepped out onto the top and looked down.

About 1,000 feet down there was a black and red cloud bluring what was below it.

Spider: Wow

Grady: A balrog could fall from here and die from those fumes before they hit the ground. Good thing that that isn't lower or else Mirkwood would burn to cinders. Then the cloud would sweep over the rest of middle earth and destroy it.

Spider: Hmm I wonder if that was what wiped out the dinosuars.

Grady: This is the highest thing ever built in middle earth.

They looked out past the fuming clouds, they could see Minus Tirith from where they were standing.

[Duddun]

(Meanwhile in Fangorn)
Frerin: Hello, Rabid Monkey #err...I forget...
RM#?:Hello, I am glad to report that our army is now 2000 rabid Monkeys!
Frerin: Good, now we must form an alliance!

[Earniel]

*Meanwhile Eärniel is slowly recovering from her previous pinkshock*

Eärniel: God, pink... who would have expected that? That nazqul queen is a cunning lady. *nocks on door* Mr. Balrog? Can I leave now?

Balrog: *behind door* No!

Eärniel: That's not fair!

Balrog: No, isn't it wonderful eh?

Eärniel: Grrrrrrrrr..... I'm going to get out of here, you hear!

Balrog: Yeah, yeah, that's what they all say....

Eärniel: I am, you know, I really am.

balrog: *starts giggling*

Eärniel: And when I'm out, you'll feel it. Just you wait!

Balrog: *starts laughing*

Eärniel: I am a powerful sea elf! I can summon the Powers of the Seas! Command the Spirits of the Ocean! Ride the Waves and control the Terrors in the Deep! And all that with capitals!

Balrog: *starts laughing uncontrolable*

Eärniel: Humpf....It was worth a try.... *goes to sit on the bed again, her back turned to the pink.* I'll get out of here.... you'll see. *starts to plot her escape*

Balrog: *collapses from laughing too hard*

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

Katt: That's it. I'm sick of this, sick of the war, sick of Maggie, and sick of you. I'm going to start a war protest if you want to know. *Snaps fingers*

*Katt and Rache are in a field*

Katt: Ok Rache, you go to the Shire and get Tano to help you ralley the hobbits. I'll get any free peoples I can find. Be back here in two hours.

Rache: Ok. *Snaps fingers and dissapears*

*About two and a half hours later, the field was filled with lots of people. There were almost all the hobbits in the shire (the ones that wern't passed out), many random stray elves that didn't get ensnared by one side or the other, and quite a lot of easterners. This last item is because when Katt surrendered to Maggie, she only surrendered her specialty army of Solicitorks and the Great Armies of General Evil, which were mostly orks and goblins and such. The Eastern army from Mordor was entierly forgotten and was now retrived by Katt.*

Edit: Finished the post.
Edit Two: More stories!

*Oh and by the way, the big anti-war ralley is being held in that big field a little east of Imladris. Feel free to drop by and see us all. It will be going on all weekend. Thanks!*

[Willow Oran]

(Meanwhile Maggie has traveled to a smalll corner of Middle earth that is still free of the fighting. Once alone she splits, instead of one maggie there are now two, and one other....)

G. Maggie: What are we going to do?

E. Maggie: Punish them, we establish that they were not to kill canon characters, Human will try.

G. Maggie: Can we stop her if she tries?

Other: No, you will not be able to stop her. I will stop her. I will trade myself in, I need you two to lead the good armies now. That is the side we are on. We are good.

E. Maggie: Even me?

Other: Yes, You are only evil, when necessary, you are on the good side.

G. Maggie: Which side is the good side?

Other: The side trying to preserve Middle Earth as it should be. Use the form of Neutral Maggie unless you must be in two places at once. And no fighting between the two of you.

N. Maggie: Very well.

Other: Good, now go to gondor, open a portal between it and Imladris and keep it open so that our two bases are joined. I will go find Human and persuade her to give up her prisoners. I will send them to you in Imladris. You must decide where to go from there. Now go.

(They leave, and the Other is left alone.)