Light Of Evil

[Firalphien]

Hey Guys!

I'm working on this story right now, don't know if I should continue it or not... Actually it's really funny... I've had the LOTR books for about a month now and refrained from reading them (due to upcoming exams) and it's killing me! I wanna read them so bad! Only two more weeks till finals are over..., but anywayz, I'd really appreciate (sp?) if you guys could let me know what you think? It'd mean so much to me. I think I need to do some major work on it yet, but let me know. Remember I haven't read the books... and this is just the Prologue... I'll most likely re-edit it and change it once I've read the books! Thanks Bunches!!!

LIGHT OF EVIL



PROLOGUE

Aura hid behind a tree watching Aragon and Arwen exchange words of deep love to each other. She gasped as she watched Arwen give him her necklace, which was only bestowed to the highest of elves. She touched the chain around her own neck. They were leaving to be with the young hobbit on a journey to Mordor. “Not without me…” She vowed as she slipped back into the woods and sprinted towards the main house. She had always longed for adventure.
Her hair fell past her shoulders and into her face as she quickly prepared her for the journey. She had overheard the meeting with the elders and knew their route. She draped her cloak around her and stared at her reflection in the water bowl, which stood next to her bedside. “No one will know.” She mumbled as she removed the light crown of gold she wore and took off down the stairs and towards the stables towards her horse.

“We’ll get ahead of them.” She patted the horse’s nose as she settled him and took off towards the river that marked Rivendell’s boundaries. She stopped shortly before and got off her horse. She heard voices coming from the river’s shores. She tiptoed towards the shores lightly listening to the voices. It was Legolas. Her one and only true friend, besides Arwen. She grinned at the thought of surprising him, calling it sweet revenge. They had grown up together and she had spent countless nights dreaming of him not only as a friend but also as more. Arwen had warned her numerous times not to fall in love, but she had and she believed he had fallen for her and that it was fate.

“Tell me how much you love me?” Another female elf begged him as she kissed him softly. Legolas had been courting her for a while, but having such a gentle heart he could not speak the words of telling her that it wasn’t so. He did not love her. “I would conquer Mordor in your name, my love.” He spoke the words with no feeling, lying to her. He turned as he heard the crack of some branches nearby and drew his bow, “Who goes there?!” “Orcs must have gotten past the defenses…” She gasped as she hid behind him.

Aura clutched at her chest for she could not answer. Her nails slid down the tree trunk she leaned against slowly sinking to the ground. Such pain enveloped her that she could not breathe. She dropped to her knees and the pain only grew stronger and faster. She could her wind rustling the leaves faintly, felt death coming swiftly upon her. “This is what death feels like…” She gasped as her mind reeled; he had said he loved another woman, Arwen had warned her and she had not listened…

Legolas walked cautiously towards the gasping sound, drawing an arrow into his bow and aiming. Then he saw her, leaning against a tree clutching the earth beneath her in her long fingers. “Aura?!” He cried out as he dropped his bow. He ran to her as he saw her body slowly drop to lay rest on the earth her eyes rolling back into her head and her body resting limply to the forest floor. “Lord Elrond! Hurry!” He shouted at the other girl who stood there watching. He brushed back Aura’s golden hair and watched as her face became paler with every passing second, “Don’t leave me, my friend.” He gathered her into his arms, elves were supposed to be immortal. Thoughts raked through his mind as he sat there holding her listening and knowing she was slipping away from him.

*****

A horse took off through the woods carrying a wrapped up body. Hooves pounded the ground, a race against time. Lord Elrond watched the rider disappear in the distance knowing that he would most likely never see his daughter again.

[Darth Tater]

Gee, pretty obvious from that you haven't read the book.

[BeardofPants]

Not to mention that this has been done several times before.

[Elf Girl]

Oh, come on! let Firalphien alone! She's new! (Firalphien, I think you're a girl, forgive me if I'm wrong) Probably hasn't read the book or much other fanfiction is all. There's one thing in the story that confused me. The thing about Arwen's necklace, "only bestowed the highest of Elves" Aragorn isn't an Elf, so that is hard to understand.

Firalphien, I would reccomend reading the books, if you haven't. Welcome!

[Firalphien]

Like I said above I haven't read the books yet... Thanks for defending me. Yeah i'm a girl... And no I haven't read many stories yet... but i will! Thanks for your opinions though! I really appreciate it!

[Imbequareiel]

Okay, she asked for an opinion, not to get bashed!! She admitted she hasn't read the Books yet, neither have I, we are such base creatures, I know! <rolls eyes>

If you don;t have anything nice to say, then don;t say it! She asked for an opinion of her prologue, not whether the idea has been used before!

Courtesy, people!

Walk With Ursus

[Firalphien]

No worries! I'm not upset at all... Hi to Imbequariel! Welcome here!

[Elfmaster XK]

Originally posted by Imbequareiel
Okay, she asked for an opinion, not to get bashed!! She admitted she hasn't read the Books yet, neither have I, we are such base creatures, I know! <rolls eyes>

If you don;t have anything nice to say, then don;t say it! She asked for an opinion of her prologue, not whether the idea has been used before!

Courtesy, people!

Walk With Ursus

Welcome.

Indeed she did ask for an opinion and that's what ppl have given. She says she's not offended and if you want to be a writer you learn to take critisicm. If you dont then you'll never make it. If others give an opinion you disagree with then fine but they are all entitled to that opinion.

[frodosgirlfriend]

i'm also writing a story and i haven't read the books, well, i'm reading ttt. i won't say anything about ur story for 1 reson
i didn't read the whole thing (sorry i lost interest)
it was at a good start, but, how many times have u seen the movie and do u know any one who read the books and can tell u what happens in the book so u get a better idia of whats happening? it helps alot if u've seen the movie atleast 3 times and someone can explane stuff.
when legolas says

“Who goes there?!” “Orcs must have gotten past the defenses…”

r they still in rivendell? i haven't read the books so i don't know much, but, i don't think that would happen in rivendell. maybe in gondor but not rivendell. anyway it was a good start.

[Arathorn]

hi again Firalphien and welcome Imbequareiel,

I find Firalphien's fic rather amusing. I think E XK's right; but I didn't think Tater was being nasty. He looked like he was agreeing with F's disclaimer before the fic.

BTW, F, you may want to talk to FrodoFriend. I think she also does fanfic.

[Imbequareiel]

Hi again!

I understand the need for criticism, I'm a writer too... But constructive criticism tells one where one is wrong, it doesn't discourage the writer.

I'm a member at quite a few other boards and I've never seen anyone provide negative evaluation when an opinion was asked for. It makes me angry when someone gets discouraged when she/he gets told very forcefully that they aren't good at something.

Sorry if I came on a bit strong... Blame final stress!

I'm looking forward to exploring this site...

[Darth Tater]

Thing is, this board was created for fans of Tolkien, with a forum for fans of the movie as well. However, we come here to discuss Tolkien seriously, because out in the world right now there are a lot of people who THINK they are fans of LOTR but have only seen the movie, or read TT and ROTK, but not FOTR cause they figure they saw the movie and that's ok. I'm sorry, but if that's you then you're NOT a fan.

[Elfmaster XK]

Originally posted by Darth Tater
Thing is, this board was created for fans of Tolkien, with a forum for fans of the movie as well. However, we come here to discuss Tolkien seriously, because out in the world right now there are a lot of people who THINK they are fans of LOTR but have only seen the movie, or read TT and ROTK, but not FOTR cause they figure they saw the movie and that's ok. I'm sorry, but if that's you then you're NOT a fan.

I quite agree. Except on one thing. Seriously? US?

Imbequariel, i am a writer aswell, and know criticism well, and you get negative and positive, both are constructive though since if you get mostly negative then someone will tell you what's going wrong. And anyway, you need a general opinion. And it's not discouraging or shouldn't be, because after all its only what another person thinks. With my novel for example, some ppl like it, and for every person who does i know ther will be at least one who doesnt. You can't please everyone.

[Firalphien]

See I tend to disagree w/ you Tater. I believe I am a fan, I have read some of Tolkien's works and I have loved it! I haven't read any of the LOTR books yet, because it was my choice to wait to enjoy it after the finals so I could re-read parts and get the whole story. I've seen the movie three times already and I'm planning on reading the books... not to make anyone mad or anything, but does that mean that I"m not a fan?

One other interesting question I'd like to address is how did everyone become interested in reading Tolkien's works? Through friends or what? For me it was through friends telling me that he was an extraordinary writer, was dragged to see FOTR by my friends, and fell in love with the story line and bingo!

[Arathorn]

Here's the What got you started? thread.

[LuthienTinuviel]

edited

[Comic Book Guy]

See I tend to disagree w/ you Tater. I believe I am a fan, I have read some of Tolkien's works and I have loved it! I haven't read any of the LOTR books yet, because it was my choice to wait to enjoy it after the finals so I could re-read parts and get the whole story. I've seen the movie three times already and I'm planning on reading the books... not to make anyone mad or anything, but does that mean that I"m not a fan?

You claim to be a fan of Tolkien's non Middle-Earth related works, yet you still wrote a Fan-Fiction about Middle-Earth/Lord of the Rings.

A fan of the First part of the Movie yes, but to the canon text, no.

[Elf Girl]

It is a good prologue. Also, to be a fan of something, you don't need anyone's permission! You can just go along your fandom, and pay no attention if people *coughDarthTatercough* try to discourage you.

Read the books as soon as the finals are over, you'll love them!!!

[LuthienTinuviel]

Thing is, this board was created for fans of Tolkien, with a forum for fans of the movie as well. However, we come here to discuss Tolkien seriously, because out in the world right now there are a lot of people who THINK they are fans of LOTR but have only seen the movie, or read TT and ROTK, but not FOTR cause they figure they saw the movie and that's ok. I'm sorry, but if that's you then you're NOT a fan.

oh my god.
i thought that this was for the ignorant THINGS that lurk in my town!
i cannot believe how you could just exclude people like that!!
the more the merrier! this is the exact same thing that happened over on the bolt baords. ****ing ****! now im mad.
man, i can't believe that you aren't even giving her a chance! so she has read a partial bit of FotR, she has read some of it! that is more than i can say for over 3/4 of the people where i live! i thought you were intelligent! i come here because a nice feeling of being accepted for my "oddness" is busting out of the goddamn cracks of this place! im thinking, the more epople that are here to share in tolkien the better. it isn't some sort of elite club...
so fine, if your going to be that way, i might as well be back at the bolt boards. if i misunderstood you im sorry that i got so mad, but it really is appaling that you would deprive yourself of getting to know someone here because you don't think that they are 'tolkein-ised' enough to be a true fan.
sorry for the spelling folks, im really quite lazy.









well ****, i gotta get me a new looney post folder.

[Comic Book Guy]

i cannot believe how you could just exclude people like that!!

I don't think he was excluding anybody, he was just telling it how it is.

that is more than i can say for over 3/4 of the people where i live!

I doubt that you live in a Tolkien Message board.

i come here because a nice feeling of being accepted for my "oddness" is busting out of the goddamn cracks of this place!

Your reasons for coming here may be that, but as said before this is a Tolkien Message board.

im thinking, the more epople that are here to share in tolkien the better

How can she 'Share' Tolkien, if she hasn't even completed reading the Lord of the Rings? She came here to post a Fan-Fic based upon her watching of the Movie, and we can see that it is obvious she hasn't read the text, which this board is about.

Also the swearing is against Entmoot rules.