They'd never say that!

[Thorin II]

Treebeard: Grab a knife. I'm gonna carve my initials in this here tree.

[sirigorn]

ummmm....
people have probably said it before, but anyhoo

Gimli: C'mon Leggy. Horses arent that bad It's fun to ride them
Legolas: No..No The big horse is scary. I want my mommy!!!

[Lady Ravyn]

(when asked by ring wraith about the One Ring)
Frodo: Ring? What, this little thing? Oh, it's just a family heirloom. You know, it's belonged to hobbits for hundreds of years!

SAM: Faramir, you must let us keep going! The Ring is such a burden to him!
FRODO: Oh, no, Sam! There you go, being all extremist again. Don't be such a worry wart! I'm fine! I've needed a good, hard workout like this for a long time!

lol

[Nurvingiel]

Aragorn at the Black Gate, telling Sauron to come forth:
"Hey Sauron, let me tell you something about your mother!"

[Lady Ravyn]

Originally posted by Nurvingiel
Aragorn at the Black Gate, telling Sauron to come forth:
"Hey Sauron, let me tell you something about your mother!"

ROFL!!!!!!!!

Arwen to Aragorn:
"It'd never work out between us; you're just too young for me!"

[Telcontar]

I hope this hasn't been posted yet...

Aragorn to Arwen at his crowning: Oh listen, about that whole 'giving up your immortality' thing for me, well, uh, I spent a lot of time with Legolas, and see, oh geez, how do I say this...(as Legolas walks up) we've fallen in love. But you've gotta understand, we've been through SO much together."

Gandalf to Frodo: "You know, I could hold the ring for you to lighten your burden."

Gimli: "I'm tired of this damn axe, give me a bow!"

Frodo to Aragorn: "Here take it already. I'm sick of it."

Sauron upon his capture: "C'mon guys, it was all fun and games. I didn't really mean to kill your fathers, geez, get over it already."

An Orc: "I think I'm going to take a bath. Anyone want to join me?"

Gollum: "I love lembas bread! Screw eating raw meat; you can get salmonella poisoning!"

Elrond: "Welcome to Rivendell, Mr. Anderson, uh, I mean Frodo Baggins."

A Dwarf: "Screw this mining thing, I need a tan!"

Frodo to Gandalf: "What the F*K Gandalf, where the hell were you when I needed you in Bree and Weathertop?"

Bill (the horse) to Sam: "Finally letting me go huh? And in the middle of nowhere, thanks."

Eowyn to Arwen: "Your man's hands healed more than just my wounds. He took care of ALL my needs!"
To which Arwen responds: "Oh really, well now I'm glad that I did the same to Frodo. He may be small, but he's got really big feet if you know what I mean."

I'll think of some more later.

[Lady Ravyn]

lololololololololol!!!!!!
these are getting really bad...lol...
Gandalf: You know, when you really look at things objectively, Saruman is right. Why don't we all save ourselves a little trouble and just give Sauron the ring? I'm sure everything'll work out just fine...

[Nurvingiel]

Oh the innuendo, Telcontar.

As a continuation to your post Lady Ravyn:

Saruman: Yeah, I'm all for setting Sauron up as a Dark Lord. Sorry about the whole faking that the Ring was lost at sea Gandalf. No hard feelings about your imprisonment?

Gandalf: Water under the bridge.

Gwaihir: Well I still have hard feelings about it. You weren't as light then as you were after you fought the Balrog.

Gandalf: Speaking of the Balrog, I really should give him a call.

[Aragorn_iz_cool]

Elrond, Gandalf and Celeborn: Sing hey for the bath at the close of day.....

[Christiana]

Aragorn: im going to wash my greasy hair!

[Nurvingiel]

Aragorn: And shave!

[Beor]

Denethor: Hey, Gandalf!!!! You're back!! Man, its good to see you again!

Gandalf: Yeah, it has been quite some time. Too bad we had to meet in such a dark hour.

Denethor: Hey, Hey, Mr. Grumpy Pants (as Gandalf was known in Gondor prior to Faramir's bachelor party), ease off the darkness, it aint so bad! Come have a beer. *Shouts over his shoulder* Hey! Sauron, Get my boy Gandalf a beer!

Sauron (from the den): No prob.

Gandalf: Denethor!! You have sided with evil!!!

Denethor: No, No, Me and Sauron, we talked it out, smoothed out our differences, everythings cool. Come on, take a load off. We were just watching the Colts game.

Gandalf: Well, I...

Sauron (in a flanel shirt, jeans, and a John Deere hat): Here ya go, G.

Gandalf: I guess one wouldnt hurt...

[Lady Ravyn]

to continue Beor's:

Pippin *foam finger over head, down to his knees* <muffled> guys? i think it's a little big! so what's the score?

[Beor]

Denethor: *chuckeling*, ahh, gentle hobbit, your humor is so pure, you must tell the one about Morgoth again!

Sauron: Well, take it easy, Denethor, you know I'm still a little sensitive on the whole Melkor thing.

Gandalf: Sauron, he's not coming back, its time to move on.

Sauron: Well, I tried the evil thing, but he doesnt care. He never really did, I did my best to be noticed

Elrond: No, No, He loved you, He did, The Valar destroyed him, Sauron, that's not your fault, it never has been. You did good, real good.

Denethor (quietly to Gandalf): I think Ol' Elrond is trying to move in on Sauron.

Gandalf: Well, its not like he hasnt dropped little hints here and there. Hes definitely off the rebound...

[Lady Ravyn]

ROFL!!!!!!!!

Sauron, brokenly: I know I should move on, but... it's been so hard these past few millenia! I didn't even get to say good-bye!
Gandalf: *sigh* Well, it's the dawning of a new age, and you should think of yourself now! Get out of those black mourning clothes and into something a little more revealing! Try a flowing elven garb or something!
Saruman: yeah, you know, it wasn't like he was good for you anyway...

[Beor]

Denethor: I know what we can do! Lets go shopping!!

*all get up and start giggling and jumping around*

Gandalf: Yeah, Sauron, lets get you some good clothes! We'll go to Elfercrombie and dress you up good

Sauruman: Yeah, c'mon Sauron, it'll be good for you.

Sauron: Oh.....Okay

*Suddenly Farimir runs in*

Faramir: Father! The enemy is-- AAAHHH!!!!

Denethor: hey, hey, easy there, Faramir, its cool, here, have a beer.

Faramir: Wow, I've never drank with my dad before. This Rocks!

Sauron: Oh, hey, Gandalf, did you ever call off your hobbit's with the ring?

Gandalf: - - -

[Earniel]

Nehheh, you could turn this thing into a RPG.

[Nurvingiel]

Or fanfiction - people acting out of character.

[Beor]

Something like "Lady Ravyn and Beor Present --- The Adventures of Sauron and Denethor: A Romantic Comedy"

[Lady Ravyn]

ROFL!!!!!!!
or: "All My Hobbits: A Love Story"
lol