War For All Of Middle Earth™!

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

OOC: Everything has been straightened out in the "Taking Over: The discussion" thread

OOC: and now a brief interlude,

*Flashback to Maggie's vacation. Friar Lawrences cell*

Friar Lawerence: Right. You two kids want to get married.

Maggie&Glorfindel: Yes

FL: Um, *looking for an excuse not to* ok. But, um, you can't get married because you are an interspecies couple.

Maggie: *holds up papers* We have our blood tests.

FL: Um, but, you need rings.

Maggie: *Thinks*

Katt: *Comes running up* Sorry I'm late. *Hands maggie Rings* Here you go.

Maggie: Ah. *Smiles at Friar Lawrence*

FL: Ok. *See's no other choice* Let's do the quick version. *To Glorfindel* Do you?

Glorfindel: Yes

FL: *To Maggie* Do you?

Maggie: Yes

FL: Seeing that you have exchanged these rings in a sign of eternal affection and that you have pledged to love and honor each other as long as you both shall live,

Glorfindel: *Makes a "huh?" face at the word love*

Maggie: *Chuckels at the word honor*

FL: By the power invested in me by God and the city of Verona, I pronounce you man and wife.

[Willow Oran]

OOC: All evil? I have most certainly NOT gone all evil. I'm never all evil. In case you guys missed that bit, The Ring released Evil Maggie, but Good Maggie split and got away, she is currently safe in Rivindell while Evil Maggie is terrorizing the countryside.

(Meanwhile back in Rivindell Good Maggie is in her rooms debating with various other sides of herself about what she should do.)

Good Maggie: This is getting out of hand, every time I try to contain her she gets away, and she's more powerful each time, I don't know... I don't think I can keep defeating her the way things are going.

(She pauses, as if listening to a voice only she can hear.)

Yes I know I can't just give up and let her have her way... but I'm running out of options, I can't just stand back and let everyone else deal with her either, they'd be destroyed....

...I don't care if they've dealt with evil beings before! She isn't like Sauron, or Morgoth. She's human, or she was and she thinks like one she won't underestimate her enemies or make mistakes, she's too cautious.

(She pauses again, longer this time.)

Yes... Yes I think she might help. If I can convince this land to accept her help that is... It might not. But if you could send her... Yes, send Elena.

[zavron]

''Where did I go?!'' I was uddenly in a large room with people.

It was a pub. The Dark unholy Pub of Forgetful....what was I saying?

Zavron sitting on bar stool drinking a pint, while his mutated Frogs Play Pool and sing Loudly, annoyingly and drunkenly in the background.

[goldiegollum]

Nobody felt like explaining things to Goldiegollum, but she eventually gathered a little bit of what was going on after asking a lot of questions, all the while singing under her breath

Human: Who's up for getting good maggie and then stealing some of her breakfast or...*vioce trails off* doing something...er...yeah.

Tano and Rache exchange glances.

GG: Yayyyy! there's trees by her room right! I could climb up one and then get to her that way and we could be all happy and secret!

Rache: We can forget about the secret part if you continue to sing!

GG: sorry.

Tano: are you sure...

GG and Human: YES!

Rache: ...

GG (breaking akward silence): Hear, hear!

Tano: hear what?

GG: Hear what i have to say.

Rache: what's that?

GG: dunno. I just like to say that (bilbo says it at one point and i find it really funny for no aparent reason) let's go!!!

Tano (grabs GG by her hair): wrong way.

Human: Now wait, why and where are we going?

GG: to get good maggie! and steal her breakfast! I'm hungry!

Tano (looking through binoculars): it's not breakfast time, they're eating lunch.

then something goes WOOSH-BANG! i dunno what, but it startled them.

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

(OOC: Just a quick question

OY FRANCES! How come you can spell "binoculars" but you can't spell "them"?

Just a question)

[Willow Oran]

(Sadly for the binocular holding people Glorfindel entered the room just then and Maggie pulled the shades down.)

Goldie: Oh.... Now we can't spy on her now....

Rache: I'm not sure we want to.

Tano: Besides, it's evil maggie we should be watching out for.

Human: What happened to her anyhow?


(Evil Maggie at this point was sneaking through the palace in Minas Tirith, holding a half filled water bottle and looking for someone.)

Evil Maggie: Last time I forgot about the men and was defeated, well, that won't happen this time. King Elessar won't dare act against me, not this time....

(and so she continues, an evil rabid tiger grin slowing spreading across her face as she stalks toward the royal quarters....)


OOC: Mwahahaha!!!!!!! What is Evil Maggie up to? Katt knows, or she should.

[Earniel]

*Meanwhile Eärniel who is unaware that Maggie split again, has followed evil Maggie to Minas Tirith and sneaks unseen behind her through the corridors.*

Eärniel: *mutters to herself* Oh brother, what is she up to now? If only I had my dragons with me, but noooooo they had to go to Angmar and.... Hey, isn't this the way to the king's quarters? And how do I know that? What the hell is she going to do there?

*Then slowly realisation dawns*

Eärniel: *gasps* Oh, my god! She wouldn't?! Well I can't blame her.... Aragorn still is very good looking for his age.... but... oh no! How am I going to explain this to Glorfindel?

[Masderanoe]

Grady: YAY! Evil Maggie is back!!

Tingleclaw: Is that a good thing?

Grady: Yep because she's the only one that can destroy good Maggie, and we don't like good Maggie because she locked me in that evil evi evil room.

Tingleclaw: Oh

Grady: So we're going to join her. Send all the armies to Minus Tirith. That's where she is now. I like the new edition to our army.

Tingleclaw: Yah, orcs can get made really fast.

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

OOC: Katt knows! Of course Katt knows!

OOC2: OMG Eärniel you are so wrong!

*Somewhere in some forest, a truck is delivering water bottles to Katt. Katt signaled for the truck to stop, which it did, and the Truck Driver jumped out.*

TD: I dunno what you want with a bunch of empty water bottles. So, when do I get paid?

Katt: Well, you have a choice. You can become one of Maggie's evil minions now, or you can wait until Maggie rains down fire on your village, killing all unworthy people.

TD: What a crappy choice. I'm outta here. *Moves to get back in truck.*

*Katt then stared at the Truck Driver turning him into a lizard. A hawk then swooped down and ate the lizard*

Katt: *pondering* I wonder if I will get punished for that later. Ah well. *Opens back of truck* This will be my work space.

*Katt instantly turned the clutter of water bottles into neat little rows on shelves with a table, a roll of masking tape, and a sharpie in the middle.*

Katt: Now, I need an assistant. Who can I get? Of course! She is perfect!

*Katt snapped her fingers and Roya was standing in front of her.*

Roya: Goddamn it Katt! What am I doing back here?

Katt: I have a job for you. A very interesting job.

Roya: *Smiling Deviously* What is it?

Katt: Capturing elves and bringing them to me. Alive if you can, dead is all right. But remember, we have limited storage space for dead elves.

Roya: And the live ones?

*Katt gestured to the water bottles and Roya jumped in excitement.*

Roya: Oh exelent!

Katt: Yes, I know. But here is the most important part. I need some special elves alive. Dead would be unaceptable. *Gives Roya a list*

Roya: Lets see, Elrond, Galadriel, Celeborn, Glorfindel, Glordifle. Who is Glordifle?

Katt: Glorfindel's evil twin brother.

Roya: Oh ok. This should be easy. *Starts to leave then stops* Um, what about Legolas?

Katt: He's yours.

Roya: Yes! *Leaving* Stupid nancing git... I autta...

Katt: *Rolls eyes and smiles* Sigh, I have more work to do.

*Katt closed the back of the truck after making sure everything was secure, and then started to drive to Minas Tirith.*

[Earniel]

Originally posted by Katt_knome_hobbit
OOC2: OMG Eärniel you are so wrong!

Neh, neh, neh. Of course I'm wrong, that's the fun of it.

[Willow Oran]

(meanwhile back in Rivindell a council has been called to address the issue at hand.)

Maggie: -She is more dangerous now than before, I cannot deal with her on my own, so I have-

(suddenly Earniel bursts in shouting angrily)

Earniel: Stop! You can't listen to her! She's been lying to all of you!

Maggie: Wha- I have not!

Earniel: Oh yes you have! (points to Glorfindel) You've been cheating on him, (points to Aragorn,) With him!

Maggie, Aragorn, Glorfindel: I/She has?!

Maggie: But- I've been here with Glor the whole since I came back here when evil maggie got loose!

Earniel: Wait.... Evil Maggie.... You've split again?

Glorfindel: It seems there has been a misunderstanding. Yes, they've split, this is Good Maggie. We have not seen Evil Maggie but where ever she is, she is a danger for she has the one ring now.

Maggie: I didn't realize you didn't know. But... Out of curiosity, what made you think Aragorn and I were- you know, we're both married and he's really not my type.

Aragorn: (gives her annoyed look but doesn't speak. He is flushing really red but he pales at Earniel's reply.)

Earniel: I followed her when she left the scene of the confrontation. Last I saw her she was sneaking towards the King's quarters in Minas Tirith with a water bottle.

Arwen: (is really pale and looking like she's about to panic completely,) Eldarion! I left him at home thinking he'd be overlooked and left out of the conflict!

Aragorn: We must return immediately.

(They leave)

Elrond: Maggie, would you continue what you were explaining before you were interrupted?

Maggie: Ah- yes, I was saying that I have discussed with... the others who share this body with me on occasion and we have decided to manifest Elena.

Elrond: Elena? I don't believe we've met this... character? Or is she another alter ego?

Maggie: Both, and neither. She- well, she's Elena and there isn't much more to say about who she is. As to what she is. That I can tell you. Elena is the Goddess of Inanswerable, Inexhaustable Questions and Scary Mental Images, Wielder of the Invisable Fish, Queen of the Pink Fluffy Bunnies and, in this world at least, Eru's annoying little sister.

(Everyone is slightly stunned by this description, especially the last bit.)

Earniel: Scary Mental Images?

Elrond: Invisable Fish?

Glor: Eru has an annoying little sister?

All: Oh dear...

[Willow Oran]

(meanwhile back in Rivindell a council has been called to address the issue at hand.)

Maggie: -She is more dangerous now than before, I cannot deal with her on my own, so I have-

(suddenly Earniel bursts in shouting angrily)

Earniel: Stop! You can't listen to her! She's been lying to all of you!

Maggie: Wha- I have not!

Earniel: Oh yes you have! (points to Glorfindel) You've been cheating on him, (points to Aragorn,) With him!

Maggie, Aragorn, Glorfindel: I/She has?!

Maggie: But- I've been here with Glor the whole since I came back here when evil maggie got loose!

Earniel: Wait.... Evil Maggie.... You've split again?

Glorfindel: It seems there has been a misunderstanding. Yes, they've split, this is Good Maggie. We have not seen Evil Maggie but where ever she is, she is a danger for she has the one ring now.

Maggie: I didn't realize you didn't know. But... Out of curiosity, what made you think Aragorn and I were- you know, we're both married and he's really not my type.

Aragorn: (gives her annoyed look but doesn't speak. He is flushing really red but he pales at Earniel's reply.)

Earniel: I followed her when she left the scene of the confrontation. Last I saw her she was sneaking towards the King's quarters in Minas Tirith with a water bottle.

Arwen: (is really pale and looking like she's about to panic completely,) Eldarion! I left him at home thinking he'd be overlooked and left out of the conflict!

Aragorn: We must return immediately.

(They leave)

Elrond: Maggie, would you continue what you were explaining before you were interrupted?

Maggie: Ah- yes, I was saying that I have discussed with... the others who share this body with me on occasion and we have decided to manifest Elena.

Elrond: Elena? I don't believe we've met this... character? Or is she another alter ego?

Maggie: Both, and neither. She- well, she's Elena and there isn't much more to say about who she is. As to what she is. That I can tell you. Elena is the Goddess of Inanswerable, Inexhaustable Questions and Scary Mental Images, Wielder of the Invisable Fish, Queen of the Pink Fluffy Bunnies and, in this world at least, Eru's annoying little sister.

(Everyone is slightly stunned by this description, especially the last bit.)

Earniel: Scary Mental Images?

Elrond: Invisable Fish?

Glor: Eru has an annoying little sister?

All: Oh dear...

Maggie: (Grins)

[goldiegollum]

OCC: where did i spell 'them' wrong, Kat?

Meanwhile, after the binocular lookers were rudely interupted when maggie pulled the shade down, they set off towards Rivendell, because that appears to be the place where things are happening. GG arrives in the room (or is it outside?) where the council is taking place around the time when Maggie starts talking about Elena. They are all too shocked/stunned to notice her though.

GG creeps over to maggie because this is the only person there who she is somewhat farmiliar with.

GG (tapping Maggie on back): Pst! i'm hungry. do you guys have any eggs?

Maggie (surprised, but not shocked): Hello, Goldiegollum, i was wondering where you went to.

Earniel: Oh, no not another weird troublesome thing that's probably evil and going to try to take over the whole-

Maggie: I know this creature, she is not evil, though can be troublesonme and is decidley wierd. But then again,*grins* aren't we all?

Elrond (annoyed): Well, whatever she is, she broke in on a private council.

GG: *shuffles feet* I'm sorry.

Glorfindel: Well...shal we stick her in another room and get on with it?

Maggie: Wait, (to GG) who have you been with?

GG: Ummm... Human, Tano, and ummm... someone else i dunno her name... wait i think they called her Rache. I think they were coming with me... they must be here in Rivendell somewhere, though.

All exchange looks that clearly say, "Oh, no. Not them again"

[Tanoliel]

Tano: (peeking around a corner) Goldie? Where--? Oh! Maggie! Hi!
Everyone: Uh-oh. They're here.
Tano: Um. Did I interrupt something? I'm getting the impression I'm really not wanted here....
Human: No kidding. What's up, guys?

[Willow Oran]

Maggie: Well, since you're here you may as well join us. I was just taking them to meet Elena, she arrived this morning.

Tano: Elena... I think I met her...

Maggie: You probably have. Come on.

(They proceed to a small enclosed bit of the gardens which, judging by the look on Elrond's face, was not there the previous night. There are roses all over the place and the occasional PFB hops by in chase of one of the small sunflowers running around the place. There is a bench in the center and on it rests a weird fish shaped shimmering, sitting on the other end of the bench is a girl who resembles a 6 or 7 year version of neutral maggie.)

Human: Oh no... Not another alter ego...

Elrond: Maggie, this one is good, isn't she.

Maggie: Well... actually, she's very childlike, she doesn't have any clear concept of good or evil. That's why she's so powerful.

Earniel: Are you say that the most powerful being you could think of to help us is a total innocent? You're evil side will have no problem taking her out!

Maggie: Er... well-

(She is saved from having to explain by Elena noticing their presences and bouncing over and smiling blindingly.)

Elena: Hello Maggie! Who are these? (she doesn't wait for an answer) Let's see... I know you, (she points to Tano,) and I think I've heard of you two, (this directed at Human and Goldie,) You're Maggie's elf lord, (said to Glorfindel,) so you must be Elrond, Maggie said you'd be the one looking at my improvments to your garden funny.

(By this time all are blushing, frowning or looking bemused as Elena has been talking quickly and it that irreproachable, matter of fact tone that only very young children can achieve. Elena does not stop but points down to her feet where there is now a petite, brown, short-hair tabby cat sitting paitiently.)

Elena: This is my kitty Charlie. She'll help as well. Shall we go inside?

Elrond: Yes... I think that might be a good idea...

[Earniel]

Eärniel: *blinks* Another aler ego. Man, I'm going to have to keep a record.....

[zavron]

*Suddenly the sky-Light above them falls in and so does Zavron, flat on his face.*

zav: Ouch!! Oooh! Errr....*looks up at all the good guys surrounding him* Oh dear! *Jumps to feet. Sound of Frogs coming.*

zav: Mwahahahahahahahahaha!!! You are all doomed!!! My Muteted Frogs will kill you all!! For I am Zavron Lord of the RidiculousArmies and Buy-One-Get-One Free offers!!!! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahaha
*takes a deep breath*hahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!!!!

*10'000 elves barge in and surround zavron.*

zav: Ah!*looks around sheepishly* Have I ever told you all how much I admire you! Hehehe! Awwww! Shoot! *drops down on floor with head in hands*

[Masderanoe]

The spider/orc/thing army arrived at Minus Tirith just in time to see a bird explode.

Willy: Ooh pretty bird go boom!

Spikelegs: Umm

Just then E. Maggie sees them and starts yelling.

E. Maggie: GO AWAY NOW! Or else you'll ruin my evil plan!!!!!!!!!

Grady: Aww come on give us something to destroy.

Army: YAH!

E. Maggie: Go Away now!

Grady: We're not leaving until you give us something to destroy.

[goldiegollum]

back at rivendell...

zavron falls out of skylight. GG screams and jumps up a tree. as Zavron starts manically laughying. the looks on the crowd's faces vary form:
-the annoyed/ get out of my house / why me look (elrond),

-the confuzzled eh? look with head half cocked to the side (Human, Goldie, Glorfindel and quite a few others)

-the inocent wide-eye stare (Elena)

-the confuzzled/ not again look (Earniel).

- to pittying bemusment (maggie)

then the (10'000 elves) barge in and surround zavron, who mumbls something and then drops to the floor

GG: WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON!?!?

[Tanoliel]

Tano: Yeah. Someone dropped through a non-existent skylight, yelled something about us beign doomed and mutated frogs, and then a bunch of elves came out and apparently he's suurendered.
GG: .....
Tano: Yeah, I don't get it either.