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10-11-2002, 01:38 AM | #1 |
Halfwitted Queen of Lothlorien
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Far off in a dream
Posts: 1,166
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I Kissed Dating Goodbye, by Joshua Harris
Has anybody read this book? I just finished it yesterday. It's a very good book, and although it may seem radical or prude-like to some, I found it to make a lot of sense, and quite frankly, it's changed my view of a lot of things.
And well, I'm not gonna date. At least not until I'm ready to seriously start considering marriage, anyway. Go ahead, give me your shocked smileys and "Why in the world would you want to do that?"s. For me, it was a relatively easy decision, considering I've never exactly been hot property But when I read this book, it all just made sense. So, has anyone else read this book/or made a similar commitment? (I kinda doubt it, but anyway...)
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The beuatiful mind/The beautiful heart/Doesn't deserve the pain/How can I stop the rain? -How Can I Stop the Rain? by Kessid, my new favorite band +Every good thing that comes into my life is only a reflection of the greatest gift of all; the offering of yourself, dear Son of God+ Always remember, you're uniqe, just like everybody else! "The one constant through all the years has been the Trombone. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. Its been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again, but the Trombone has marked the time. This field, this section, this band is a part of our past. It reminds us of all that once was good, and could be again. Oh, people will come . . . people will most definitely come." |
10-11-2002, 03:00 AM | #2 |
The Buckleberry Fairy/Captain
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Washington State again (I miss Texas).
Posts: 1,345
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It's been a loooong time since I read that book, so I really don't remember much about it. neat that you made that commitment, g88. I did the same thing in my teens. A lot of the people I hung out with made the same choice. It saved us all a lot of unnecessary heartache, and drew us closer together as friends. Now some of them are starting to girl-friends, or guy-friends, with the goal of marriage. It's neat to see them starting off their lives together with a clean past.
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10-11-2002, 01:29 PM | #3 |
The Insufferable
Join Date: Aug 2001
Posts: 3,333
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Humph.
I still don't get why it's such a big deal. I mean, I've never felt the least bit of attraction towards dating.
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Disgraced he may be, yet is not dethroned, and keeps the rags of lordship once he owned |
10-12-2002, 12:13 AM | #4 | |
Elf Lord
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Middle Earth (I wish)
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10-12-2002, 01:21 AM | #5 |
The Fleet-Footed
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: British Columbia
Posts: 913
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I haven't read that book, but I hear it's very good. It's on my "to read" list.
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Jesus saved me "To remain ignorant of things that happened before you were born is to remain a child" (Cicero, 106-43 B.C.) "Art is a lie which makes us realize the truth" (Picasso) |
10-13-2002, 01:00 AM | #6 |
Half-Elven Princess of Rabbit Trails and Harp-Wielding Administrator (beware the Rubber Chicken of Doom!)
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Not where I want to be ...
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I'm glad you brought that book up, I need to look thru it, as my oldest son is getting w/in a few years of dating age. I haven't read it, but I know roughly what it's about from reading a review a few years ago. I would say you could probably go either way (dating or not dating) but if you do date, you need to make up your mind WAY IN ADVANCE as to what your limits are and STICK TO THEM - don't just throw them by the wayside in an emotional moment (in fact, it is a good idea to decide which kinds of environments you will avoid, too, that might make it too easy to go farther than you really want to). I can tell you that as a Christian woman married to a Christian man for 16 years (!!) that God really knew what He was doing and it is SOOOO worth it to wait!! (I have friends that didn't and really regret it and have a lot of stuff to work thru, plus there is so much physical damage too, nowdays. But I think the emotional damage is even worse.) You guys have it a lot harder than I did, though, there is so much out there in your face that makes it a lot harder to wait. But it is really wonderful if you do!
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. I should be doing the laundry, but this is MUCH more fun! Ñá ë?* óú éä ïöü Öñ É Þ ð ß ® ç å ™ æ ♪ ?* "How lovely are Thy dwelling places, O Lord of hosts! ... For a day in Thy courts is better than a thousand outside." (from Psalm 84) * * * God rocks! Entmoot : Veni, vidi, velcro - I came, I saw, I got hooked! Ego numquam pronunciare mendacium, sed ego sum homo indomitus! Run the earth and watch the sky ... Auta i lómë! Aurë entuluva! |
10-13-2002, 09:11 AM | #7 | |||
Halfwitted Queen of Lothlorien
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Far off in a dream
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You know, one thing I thought about last night is that in Pearl Harbor, if Evelyn hadn't
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The beuatiful mind/The beautiful heart/Doesn't deserve the pain/How can I stop the rain? -How Can I Stop the Rain? by Kessid, my new favorite band +Every good thing that comes into my life is only a reflection of the greatest gift of all; the offering of yourself, dear Son of God+ Always remember, you're uniqe, just like everybody else! "The one constant through all the years has been the Trombone. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. Its been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again, but the Trombone has marked the time. This field, this section, this band is a part of our past. It reminds us of all that once was good, and could be again. Oh, people will come . . . people will most definitely come." |
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10-13-2002, 10:36 PM | #8 |
Halfwitted Queen of Lothlorien
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Far off in a dream
Posts: 1,166
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Well now I'm reading the sequel, Boy Meets Girl. It's just as amazing and inspiring as IKDG and I can't put it down!!
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The beuatiful mind/The beautiful heart/Doesn't deserve the pain/How can I stop the rain? -How Can I Stop the Rain? by Kessid, my new favorite band +Every good thing that comes into my life is only a reflection of the greatest gift of all; the offering of yourself, dear Son of God+ Always remember, you're uniqe, just like everybody else! "The one constant through all the years has been the Trombone. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. Its been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again, but the Trombone has marked the time. This field, this section, this band is a part of our past. It reminds us of all that once was good, and could be again. Oh, people will come . . . people will most definitely come." |
10-20-2002, 09:28 PM | #9 |
Elven Warrior
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Somewhere out there
Posts: 205
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I read I Kissed Dating Goodbye quite a while ago, and it was a fabulous book. I don't think I agreed with everything, but it was an excellent book. It's a great idea, and I've been trying it. I keep praying.
It's especially a good thing for teens, because serious dating just takes to much commitment, and what can you possibly commit to as a teen? *shrug* Great book.
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Whaaaaaaaaaat?? ~Chivalry isn't dead, it just transferred to women~ |
10-20-2002, 09:37 PM | #10 |
Belladona Gamgee of the night sky
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: second star to the right and straight on till morning.
Posts: 1,783
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I hae read it and agree with what he has to say. I would recomend it and I can't wait to read "Boy meets Girl" I heard that it was very contradictory to what he said it "I Kissed dateing goodbye", but then he was on Focas on the Family and he said that that was just a rumer...so anywho.
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Emperor Cusco: Lemme guess. We're about to go down a huge water-fall. Pacha:Yep. Cusco: Sharp rocks at the bottum? Pacha:Most likely. Cusco:Bring it on. ~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~` Yes, I'm female. Fred Baggins is my NICKNAME! ~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~` "The reason of the unreasonable treatment of my reason so enfeebles my reason, that with reason I complain of your beauty."~Don Quixote ~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~` "Once upon a time there was a magical land where it never rained. The End."~from the movie 'Holes' ~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~` ()_))_Crayola_))_> |
11-03-2002, 08:47 PM | #11 |
Halfwitted Queen of Lothlorien
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Far off in a dream
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Whoever said that BMG is contradictory to IKDG either hates Joshua Harris or hasn't read both books, 'cause that's just a flat out lie! BMG is like a continuation of IKDG - it talks about the next step for people who have made that commitment, courtship, when you're ready to consider marriage.
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The beuatiful mind/The beautiful heart/Doesn't deserve the pain/How can I stop the rain? -How Can I Stop the Rain? by Kessid, my new favorite band +Every good thing that comes into my life is only a reflection of the greatest gift of all; the offering of yourself, dear Son of God+ Always remember, you're uniqe, just like everybody else! "The one constant through all the years has been the Trombone. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. Its been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again, but the Trombone has marked the time. This field, this section, this band is a part of our past. It reminds us of all that once was good, and could be again. Oh, people will come . . . people will most definitely come." |
11-04-2002, 04:38 PM | #12 |
Half-Elven Princess of Rabbit Trails and Harp-Wielding Administrator (beware the Rubber Chicken of Doom!)
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Not where I want to be ...
Posts: 15,254
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Rats - so many things on my to-read list, and not enough time! I would be very interested in what he has to say in both books. I hope he encourages pre-marital counseling - I know some churches won't marry people unless they attend some pre-marital courses. Marriage is wonderful, but it is also difficult at times (as are most good things!) - two people with sin natures and different communication styles, expectations, etc. living together - guaranteed conflicts! You really have to have the attitude "divorce is NOT an option!" Having that attitude (1) makes you CHOOSE your mate more carefully, and (2) once you're married, makes you be more careful during conflict times (e.g., whatever I say now in anger, I'll have to deal with later, so maybe I better go cool off a bit before I say anything else) because you are committed to working problems thru.
Of course, there are those rare cases where divorce should happen, like physical abuse, but that should be extremely rare. Are those some of the things that he talks about (pre-marital counseling, etc)? BTW, it's funny to look back on, but some of our more emotional disagreements have been about expectations that we never even communicated to each other, but we expected each other to live up to! (i.e., well, my mom always did this for my dad, so you should do it for me, even though you didn't KNOW that my mom did it for my dad!) I hope he also mentions the importance of keeping a sense of humor!
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. I should be doing the laundry, but this is MUCH more fun! Ñá ë?* óú éä ïöü Öñ É Þ ð ß ® ç å ™ æ ♪ ?* "How lovely are Thy dwelling places, O Lord of hosts! ... For a day in Thy courts is better than a thousand outside." (from Psalm 84) * * * God rocks! Entmoot : Veni, vidi, velcro - I came, I saw, I got hooked! Ego numquam pronunciare mendacium, sed ego sum homo indomitus! Run the earth and watch the sky ... Auta i lómë! Aurë entuluva! |
11-09-2002, 02:30 AM | #13 |
Halfwitted Queen of Lothlorien
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Far off in a dream
Posts: 1,166
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Well I don't think he mentions counseling specifically, but he puts a lot of emhasis on talking to your parents, friends, trusted adults, and married couples in your congregation. These people will help you decide whether or not to a) begin a courting relationship with a person and b) if it's right to marry them. He also gives you certain questions to ask yourself before taking either of these steps, and the "green lights" to look for that indicate that this is the person God has chosen for you. I agree that marriage counseling can be good, but I don't think you necessarily have to get it in such a formal way. You can get wonderful advice just from the people around you (esp. your parents!)
One thing that I really like that he emhasizes in his books is the roles of the male and female in the relationship. It's so totally romantic when the guy makes the moves like asking you out & proposing! I love how he makes clear through scripture that that's the way God planned it and we should follow suit. About divorce: really, there is only one biblical reason for it, and that is marital unfaithfulness on the other person's part. Then, and only then, can you get a divorce. I promise, it's in the Bible! I'll get the BCV for you tomorrow. Now, if a woman is being abused by her husband, God would definitely want her to get out of that situation, but that doesn't mean she can get a divorce. She should probably go live either with relatives or in a shelter. But more on that tomorrow, must go to bed...
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The beuatiful mind/The beautiful heart/Doesn't deserve the pain/How can I stop the rain? -How Can I Stop the Rain? by Kessid, my new favorite band +Every good thing that comes into my life is only a reflection of the greatest gift of all; the offering of yourself, dear Son of God+ Always remember, you're uniqe, just like everybody else! "The one constant through all the years has been the Trombone. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. Its been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again, but the Trombone has marked the time. This field, this section, this band is a part of our past. It reminds us of all that once was good, and could be again. Oh, people will come . . . people will most definitely come." |
01-11-2003, 11:06 PM | #14 |
Elven Warrior
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Sweet Home Alabama
Posts: 237
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I haven't read IKDG myself, but my sister has. She said that she 'made a commitment' not to date, but she didn't keep her word. It's hard for me now, b/c she's older than me, and I had really looked up to her b/c of the decisions she made, and now she's backing out of all of them. But I hear that it is a really good book, although, when my sister was reading it, she didn't agree with everything it said, but she said it had alot of good things to say. I might read it sometime (even though I'm too young to date).
~HC88
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"Elvish singing is not a thing to miss, in June under the stars..." ~The Hobbit "And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whose you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." -Joshua 24:15 Step follows step, Hope follows courage. Set your face toward danger Set your heart on victory! "Where is Elizabeth?" "She's safe, just like I promised. She's all set to marry Norrington just like she promised, and you get to die for her just like you promised. So we're all men of our word, really....except for Elizabeth who is, in fact, a woman." ~Will Turner and Jack Sparrow, POTC fROdO LIVeS!!!! |
01-13-2003, 12:29 AM | #15 |
Elf Lord
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Fountain Valley, CA
Posts: 6,343
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You haven't made any commitment yet, and you might not even. But I'd like to encourage you that if you do, remember, you are not your sister. If she failed in one area, that doesn't mean you will also.
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01-24-2003, 05:33 PM | #16 |
Elven Warrior
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: At the computer...
Posts: 376
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I read it, and I decide not to date. Never have, never will. I just don't see the point in all the heartache it appears to bring, and I don't need the extra temptation to 'go too far' either.
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01-25-2003, 05:54 PM | #17 |
Hobbit
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Canada
Posts: 30
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re
Curses! Harris got around to writing it before I did My goodness... I'm INCREDIBLY thankful someone has published something like that. My MSN contact list is littered with 'depressed' teenie names belonging to young, impressionable, STUPID teenagers that think that next guy who horks up black phlegm and wears baggy pants pants the size of Texas is 'the one'. What I always try to tell them is that in 10-20 years, they won't enjoy being in the company of an immature, unemployed/burger-flipping guy, but no. Thanks for posting about this book--I'll use it to sheild my monitor once 'My heart is pierced with a thousand thorns' comes online.
Ackbar
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02-04-2003, 08:47 PM | #18 |
The Redneck Elf
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: In a house
Posts: 539
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I read most of it. Im only13 so if I do date it wont be for a while. Most of the guys my age are really immature anyway.
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02-23-2003, 03:17 PM | #19 |
FloraAzul
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Anywhere as long as there is a library in a one mile radius of here
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Elvellyn most guys are immature period
I loved this book a lot. My mom gave it to me so I had to pretend not to like it but It was good. I had already decided when I was thirteen not to date cause of all the things that happened to friends. This book just put my feelings into writing.
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Atheism: A Non-Prophet Organization Yet many shall be amazed when they see Him-yes even far off foreign nations and thier kings; they shall stand dumb-founded, speechless in his prescence. For they shall see and understand what they had not seen before-Isaiah 52:15a Civil War- 498,332 dead WWI-116,708 dead WWII-407,316 dead Korean War-54,246 dead Vietnam War-58,665 dead Persian Gulf-372 dead War on The Unborn=35,000,000 dead and counting |
02-25-2003, 11:39 AM | #20 | |
Dread Mothy Lord and Halfwitted Apprentice Loremaster
Join Date: Dec 2002
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