Tolkien Lovers Anonymous

[Elf Girl]

AAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!! You embarrassing, embarrassing, people! I should set a hoard of vicious, phone-bearing Counselors on you!

Anyway:

Counselor: All right, what is with you people?!!! First you make a huge fuss because you think I am insane, then you are happy when I correctly state that you are insane!!! What is with you people?!!! What is with you people?!!!

All: Hmmmmmmm...

Renille: Well, you see, it...

Elf Girl: When we call other people insane, it's bad. Since it is impossible to insult us, when other people call us insane, it's good.

Counselor: Uh, right. And this whole matter of the portal. If, by some chance, this matter of the portal is true, why is there a gas station here?!

Elf Girl: I will reveal my suspicions against my will.*all wait*

Counselor: Well?

Elf Girl: It is my belief that the Dark Lord is trying to *hushed voice* meld the two worlds into one! *all gasp*

Counselor: Yaaaay! My lawyer! I can have you all arrested!

Elf Girl: Hush! This cannot be allowed to happen. The evil devices of your world must not taint Middle-Earth. *all nod* I suspect that if the phone is destroyed, the link will be broken and the worlds will separate once more. You will be unable to find your home in the mixing of the two worlds if you do not destroy the phone. *whispering to other Cellowship members so the Counselor can't hear* She will most likely be trapped in Middle-Earth, but we will not let her know that until the deed is done.

Eärniel: That's all well and good, but what about dinner?