Monty Python and the Crack of Doom?

Coconut Ent · 03-25-2002, 10:32 AM

There was a thread on the "Tolkien and Inklings" forum which got Tolkien characters spouting Monty Python. So, anyone want to start?

Legolas: "Ai! Ai !! a rabbit is come!!"

"So tell us Gandalf, how you fared against the Rabbit of Moria."
"Nay, name him not!! Well, errr.... the artist died..."

Mouth of Sauron (at the Morannon):
"You don't frighten us, Gondorian pig-dogs! ---Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Aragorn-king, you and all your silly Gondorian knnnniggets. Thppppt!"
..............................................

and one more:

Aragorn: How do you do, good lady. I am Aragorn, King of the Dunedain. Who's castle is that?

IORETH: King of the who?

Aragorn: The Dunedain.

IORETH: Who are the Dunedain?

Aragorn: Well, we all are. we're all Duneadin and I am your king.

IORETH: I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective.

DENNIS: You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship. ..... A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes--

Aragorn: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!

Ioreth: Order, eh -- who does he think he is?

Aragorn: I am your king!

Ioreth: Well, I didn't vote for you.

Aragorn: You don't vote for kings.

Ioreth: Well, 'ow did you become king then?

Aragorn: The Lady of the Lake, [angels sing] her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Anduril from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Aragorn, was to carry Anduril. [singing stops] That is why I am your king!

DENNIS: Listen -- strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

03-25-2002, 10:32 AM	#1
Coconut Ent Sapling Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 7	Monty Python and the Crack of Doom? There was a thread on the "Tolkien and Inklings" forum which got Tolkien characters spouting Monty Python. So, anyone want to start? Legolas: "Ai! Ai !! a rabbit is come!!" "So tell us Gandalf, how you fared against the Rabbit of Moria." "Nay, name him not!! Well, errr.... the artist died..." Mouth of Sauron (at the Morannon): "You don't frighten us, Gondorian pig-dogs! ---Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Aragorn-king, you and all your silly Gondorian knnnniggets. Thppppt!" .............................................. and one more: Aragorn: How do you do, good lady. I am Aragorn, King of the Dunedain. Who's castle is that? IORETH: King of the who? Aragorn: The Dunedain. IORETH: Who are the Dunedain? Aragorn: Well, we all are. we're all Duneadin and I am your king. IORETH: I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective. DENNIS: You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship. ..... A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes-- Aragorn: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet! Ioreth: Order, eh -- who does he think he is? Aragorn: I am your king! Ioreth: Well, I didn't vote for you. Aragorn: You don't vote for kings. Ioreth: Well, 'ow did you become king then? Aragorn: The Lady of the Lake, [angels sing] her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Anduril from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Aragorn, was to carry Anduril. [singing stops] That is why I am your king! DENNIS: Listen -- strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.