Dear Moot- and other advice

[sisterandcousinandaunt]

Well, one of the problems with 'open relationships" is that people aren't necessarily great at keeping their feelings and their intimate behavior separate. It's pretty easy to whisper endearments when everyone's sweaty.

But, a good general rule for interpersonal relationships is... if you know what you're feeling, you should share that. Because you can't build intimacy unless people are willing to be genuine with each other. So, if you know how you're feeling about this, he's kind of entitled, imo, to know about it.

I can't promise you you'll get a great reaction, I suspect he'll be defensive. Really, you're probably not treating anyone here with great fairness. Being "Second string", or "One of a set" or "part-time" is a rough place to be in, for anyone who actually wants a relationship.