03-27-2007, 05:41 PM | #1 |
Master of Orchestration President Emeritus of Entmoot 2004-2008
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Lost in the Opera House
Posts: 9,328
|
A few tips for movie villains
Dear Movie Villains, I've noticed that you guys always seem to get foiled somehow or other, despite the odds always being in your favor. I was just wondering if this was because:
A) You get to close to the Hero when you captured him. Precedent should tell you that 1) getting close to the hero and 2) mocking him and 3) launching into philosophical discourses almost always guarantees that he will...1) steal the hairpin out of your nostril and use it to unlock his chains 2) mock you back, or 3) use the time you use to rant to magically escape. My suggestion to all villains would be this: Step back from the hero, keep your arms and legs close together. DO NOT wear a robe. He'll trip you. Restrain yourself from mocking. These Hero dorks use your words for their self-righteous comebacks, and they try to make you feel like scum. Don't fuel their fire. Lastly, have a little speech prepared beforehand so that you don't have to spend hours philosophizing off the top of your head. B) I've also noticed that your torture machines happen to break down at just the right time to convenience your victim. How lousy is that? Make sure those wheels are shined and polished BEFOREHAND. C) The good guys always seem to be able to guess at your plans i.e. Gandalf knew you guys were going to attack Gondor. What kind of traitors do you have in your midst? Keep that intel CLOSE to bosom. D) Concerning the actual capturing of good guys, I've noticed that villains almost never get to the point. Same deal as above, don't stop to lecture, just have them knocked out, get them to the torture machine and get on with it.
__________________
ACALEWIA- President of Entmoot hectorberlioz- Vice President of Entmoot Acaly und Hektor fur Presidants fur EntMut fur life! Join the discussion at Entmoot Election 2010. "Stupidissimo!"~Toscanini The Da CINDY Code The Epic Poem Of The Balrog of Entmoot: Here ~NEW! ~ Thinking of summer vacation? AboutNewJersey.com - NJ Travel & Tourism Guide Last edited by hectorberlioz : 03-27-2007 at 06:01 PM. |
|
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
Interviws with Three Villains | hectorberlioz | Writer's Workshop | 1 | 09-07-2006 10:16 PM |
TLA: A postscript, writing tips | klatukatt | RPG Forum | 3 | 08-14-2006 05:39 PM |
Best Movie Villains | Khamûl | Entertainment Forum | 82 | 05-09-2006 12:45 PM |
Rome - tourist tips | Artanis | General Messages | 16 | 08-19-2004 03:36 PM |