They'd never say that!

[me9996]

Legolas:Why the wrighter as turned to shakspeer this post is beond me, but I hope you enjoying this as it will be the last one I'm going to do this in!!!
(Exunt, whatever that meens)
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Arwen as Juliet:Romeo, Romeo, wereforart thou, Romeo?
Aragorn as Romeoown here!
Arwen as Juliet:No! That's not what you're sopost to say!
Aragorn as Romeo:These lines are as silly as 152 penguins on a telephone line! I'm much better ad libing.
Arwen as Juliet:There is no ad libing in Shakspeer!
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(Aragorn and Borameer are walking along in mordor, they come to Gandalf, Saruman, and Ragast)
Gandalf, Saruman, and Ragast:Toil toil-
Aragorn:This is to much!
(Aragorn decapatates everyone exept himself)
Aragorn:Why did I kill poor Borameer?
(Enter Eowen with sword)
Eowen:I am no man!
(Eowen stabs Aragorn in the back)
Aragorn:This is not in the script...
(Aragorn drops dead)
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Turanduril:Go take this magic dust, you'll find a sleeping man in the forest, use it on him.
Legolas:Yes sir!
(Later in the forest)
Legolas:Okay, here's the guy, now I just sprinkle this stuff on him
(Legolas sprinkles the dust on Aragorn, who is asleep)
Legolas:Oh what fools these mortals be! I forget my lines!
Gandalf(In a directors cap):Cut! Come on! You're an elf! You should remember this stuff!
Legolas:That's raceal discrimanation.
(Gandalf turns Legolas into a giant pink fluffy bunny)
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Aragorn:To be or not to be? That is the question! Weather tis nobler to... I forget my lines.
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(The rest of this post isn't shakspeer spoofs)
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Gandalf:I am the very modal of a modern magor genaral, I know information Animal, Vetchtable and Minaral, I know all the kings of england and....
(After all this)
Lead corsare:Why should we not attack you?
Gandalf:I am a orfen boy.
Lead corsareo you meen orfan as in very frequently or orfen as in someone without parents.
Gandalf:Someone without parents.
Lead corsare:Our corsare laws protect you!
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Eowen:I am no man!
Lead nasguil:I think we all know that by now.
Eowen:Huh?
Lead nasguil:You've said it orfen.
Eoweno you meen orfen frequently or orfen someone without parents?
Lead nasguil:Orfen, frequently.
Eowen:Ah,
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Aragorn:I am the very noodle of modern meger genaral, I know information literal, bilateral, and minaral I know the kings of scotland and-
Gandalf(Again in directors cap):You messed up that song so much I'm fireing you!
Aragorn:Okay...
(Aragorn starts to leave then Gandalf lights him on fire)
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(At the black gate)
Aragorn:Eulia!
Pippin:He hasn't read any of thouse books in a long time.