02-26-2006, 07:57 PM | #1 |
The Intermittent One
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: here and there
Posts: 4,671
|
my story
i will here post sections in a story, i would appreciate feedback, consisting of constructive criticism only, no bashing it cos you just don't like it please!
i will post sections in seperate posts (obviously) over a period of time. Prologue. Kothar looked out from under the cover of the bush he had slept under, this late into spring the bush was laden with berries, but he knew better than to eat the supple fruits of the Bolsar bush until they had grown black, and edible. Already the sun was stealing into the sky, spreading her thick rays into the cold air, lighting up the low hills, and waking up the people in the villages spread around the base of the hills, right down to the edge of the water on all sides of the land. He knew they would be looking for him, his younger brother and sister, yearning for him to take him out on one of his regular trips to the island on the north side of the mainland, yet he had told them many times that they were too young, too irresponsible to go with him out there. That, however was not the only reason they couldn’t go with him, but they were not yet old enough to know that. He gave an audible sigh as he got up, and started to walk down the hill, to where he always secured his boat a few miles west of his village, the largest in the area. He knew to get as far out into the sea before his siblings raced down to the beach, begging to accompany him. All of the people in the area knew of the trips Kothar made out to the island, and they all knew of the one who lived out on that island, though none knew who, or what, he was. Some said a wizard, destined to keep the people of Falaronia safe, others said a Tartarian prince, descended from the line of kings before the republic came, whilst some of the younger villagers suggested such notions as a dark Elf from the cold northern wastes, or a Spyronian troll, if indeed any lingered on from the ancient days. In any case, Kothar was not in any hurry to indulge them in any of their pet fantasies, knowing it was better to let them keep guessing than to tell them, for the truth can sometimes be stranger than fiction, and these truths are best kept hidden, until their time has come, but sometimes, the truth has a way of coming out, all on it’s own. |
|
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
Life of Pi | Elanor | General Literature | 13 | 06-24-2007 11:40 PM |
What makes a memorable story for you? | Elfmaster XK | Writer's Workshop | 2 | 01-10-2004 07:12 PM |
Vampire Story | Eruviel Greenleaf | Writer's Workshop | 13 | 08-06-2003 06:12 PM |
Is the Aragorn-Arwen love story important to the LOTR? | Black Breathalizer | Lord of the Rings Movies | 55 | 03-13-2003 03:02 PM |
MD-The True Story | webwizard333 | Entertainment Forum | 1 | 04-09-2002 04:50 PM |