Moral Dilemmas

[Rían]

Originally Posted by The Gaffer

However, he likes to spend all of his free time on the computer, she likes to veg out in front of Judge Judy type programmes with the volume turned up. (Including when there are guests.)

It's hard to imagine a combination where each would get that level of indulgence of an antisocial habit from a partner. It has occured to me that maybe they are perfectly matched even if for this reason alone.

true...(!)

Inked, thanks for your understanding and defence against the forces of big brother which would consign this thread to the bin.

It's definitely a problem ... how much do they actually see and are OK with, but haven't talked about because it's not that flattering, that you might think they don't see and should be made aware of? If they don't see, should they be made aware of it, or have they not seen it because it doesn't bother them? What do friends do in these cases? Are you willing to risk losing a friendship over potentially saving a friend? Or is it better to just let them make the decision, hoping they have enough info, and be there if and when it falls apart?

I don't envy you


EDIT - here's another idea - tackle it from the "positive" side - say, "hey, (name), you and I both know that marriage is a big step and one to not be taken lightly. I mean, either you're going to live with them the rest of your life, or you'll have to deal with them through divorce proceedings! So what are the positive qualities you see in (name) that you really like and think you can live with (or go thru a divorce with )?"

If he can't come up with anything, maybe that alone will make him think!!