Orcs - absolute rubbish or what???

[Gerbil]

No I'm not commenting on their looks or anything (although they do seem to vary in style quite a lot. More so than, say, elves differ, and that's before you take the Uruk-hais into account).

Orcs.

Aren't they absolutely rubbish?
Why on earth did Sauron and Saruman build his armies from them?
I mean, I've seen more effective herds of Lemmings in combat.
The evidence stacked against them really is rather damning.
Consider:

1) Sam with a frying pan beats them
2) During combat they simply run towards opponents - presumably with the intention of running straight over them. Weapons in hand are completely ignored.
3) Legolas shoots two with 1 arrow. I often run directly behind someone
4) Legolas pokes one in the neck with an arrow. See point 2 for explanation
5) Boromir at death's door manages to twat rather a lot of 'em.
6) They all leg it from the Balrog way before he's there and with plenty of time to twat company
7) They have the reaction speed of a sloth. Notables include Aragorn attacking first wave on Amon Hen, and Boromir at end.
8) They are about as observant as a blind man wearing a blindfold at night in the middle of space. They cunningly don't attack the weaker members of the fellowship in Moria for much of the time.

Basically, they remind me of the many thousands of allieds who died in the trenches during the world wars - sent out simply to deplete the resources and reserves of the opponents.
Amazing to think that Morgoth almost managed to rule Beleriand with these incompetants.

And since they are supposedly warped Elves, Morgoth must have been cursing his luck to warp out of them their looks, intelligence and natural skills. Bummer, eh?