Letters from Middle Earth

[Beor]

From a letter intercepted by an unknown Dunedain Ranger in December 1413, SR. It was being taken via orc runner from Angmar to Dol guldor

...and it has come to my attention, oh great Khamul, that Larry (that is the third ringwraith, the one that is about six foot five) is becoming more and more of a whiner. The other day, he got mad because Phil (the one who trailed during the flank on Frodo at the ford) wouldnt let him sit in "his" seat in the hall. Now, I dont know how you run it down there, but up here, we dont have "assigned seats", and it was really rather childish of him to get so upset. He ended up running out crying, and when I later went to talk to him by the river, where me and him used to always go to talk on cool summer nights, under the brights stars, he told me that he feels like everyone is "ganging up" on him, and he feels "left out". Basically, I am asking you to put in the proper paperwork to transfer Larry out of the north, because I feel that he is getting strung out. I recommend sending him to work with Bob down at the recycling plant by Minas Morgul. It would be very gracious....