A Story Rejected (part 1)

[Beruthiel's cat]

I recently submitted the following to a small press science fiction/fantasy publication. They returned it with a very nice rejection letter and some comments. I thought I'd submit it here for additional comments.

This is an original story, not Tolkien-based. I saw a comment in a book that said that there is no mention of the domestic cat in classical mythology. So, I figured I'd create a myth. (What's good enough for Kipling...)

Read. Enjoy. Comment. (Thanks!)


DOMESTICA
by
Beruthiel’s Cat


The whole idea had been regarded with great skepticism. They were, after all, wild and intractable creatures. They did what they wanted to do and would not bend to any type of discipline. Their usefulness was dubious. They were not really edible, nor did there seem to be any other practical purpose for which they might be employed. Except for their predisposition to protect food storage areas, there seemed to be no reason to attempt to train them. It seemed a mad notion. Other than that, what could they possibly do for us, the leaders wondered. Could these beasts be domesticated? Would they truly be beneficial?

The learned community was deeply divided over the idea. The general impression was that the creatures were somewhat opportunistic by nature and would take advantage when living in close proximity with a more advanced species. At best, it was argued, they could perform slight service. It was theorized that if one were to obtain young specimens, they might be easier to control. A bond could be formed at an early age, ensuring more cooperation.

So it was decided that someone should at least attempt to lure one of these peculiar beings, gain its confidence and determine whether it could trained.

Ptaal was chosen to be the first to attempt direct contact. He had spent quite a bit of time observing them, becoming familiar with their ways. He felt it was a good time to proceed. Caution was needed, he said, since these were wild creatures, capable of attacking without warning. Indeed, one reason there was resistance to the idea that these beasts could be useful was their capricious nature and their documented tendency to unprovoked violence. They could kill creatures much larger than themselves very easily and very efficiently.

Ptaal took up his usual observation post at the edge of the wall near the granary. A young one soon appeared. He had observed this particular juvenile specimen before. It was usually in the company of an adult female and other juveniles. Today it was in the company of an adult male. Unusual. Ptaal had not observed this behavior before. Puzzling and intriguing – additional evidence of their unpredictability.

The adult eventually left the youngster in a protected, shady area of the garden adjacent to the granary complex. It was highly unusual for an adult to leave a juvenile unprotected. This was a departure from previously observed behavior. A soft, dry breeze gently slipped through the underbrush. Ptaal quietly moved in for a closer look, careful to remain downwind. It would do no good to cause alarm.

The youngster was quiet at first, and cast a glance or two in Ptaal’s direction, but soon became restless and wandered into other areas of the garden. Ptaal had observed similar behavior from this particular juvenile before. It seemed to show a certain curiosity about its surroundings as it poked and prodded the various flora, almost exhibiting play behavior.

Within a very short time an adult, clearly a female, came to the garden and greeted the youngster. The female sat quietly in one spot, while the youngster alternately remained quiet and wandered about, occasionally looking toward Ptaal’s shelter. He wasn’t sure, but he thought the youngster might also be female, as it closely resembled the adult female in its markings. It was also somewhat more controlled and quiet in its movements than the young males he had observed.

Ptaal settled himself in a place where he could easily watch the youngster, yet not draw the attention of the female. Eventually, the juvenile wandered closer to the place where he was concealed. It sat down quietly, a few yards away – and made eye contact with Ptaal.

It was all Ptaal could do to stay perfectly still. He didn’t want to alarm the creature, but he felt vulnerable now that he had been noticed. The youngling kept still too, for some time, but then began a slow, deliberate approach. Stalking behavior.

Ptaal felt a thrill of danger, knowing this was uncharacteristic behavior. He could not allow himself to retreat. The youngster had not made any direct threat display. This opportunity might not present itself again. He had to see it through.

End of Part 1