12-04-2003, 07:25 PM | #9 | ||
Co-President of Entmoot
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Location: Canada
Posts: 8,397
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Another small thing: I wouldn't really describe someone who's around 35 as a "young man". (From the very beginning.) I'd say once you're 25 or so you're no longer young in that sense.
You could say: The city of Voskon was fast asleep as a guard, no older than thirty-five... or: The city of Voskon was fast asleep as a man, no older than thirty-five... I couldn't think of any age-related suggestions to fit that category.
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"I can add some more, if you'd like it. Calling your Chief Names, Wishing to Punch his Pimply Face, and Thinking you Shirriffs look a lot of Tom-fools." - Sam Gamgee, p. 340, Return of the King Quote:
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