10-18-2003, 01:48 AM | #1 |
Enting
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: The Burrow
Posts: 81
|
Something I have been working on...
Greetings.
A friend of mine on another site and I have been working on a verse version of the Silmarillion for several months now, but have reached a bit of a impasse. I was wondering if those on this board would be willing to read and comment, and let me know what you think? All constructive criticism is welcome. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Music of the Ainur When wondrous world was yet unknown and Arda's sorrows still unsown then HE dwelt in the void alone: the One, Iluvatar. From the far fathoms of his thought the Holy Ones renowned he wrought, to them a theme of music taught that filled the darkness far. And with the waxing of the theme in Harmony the Ainur seem; as Eru sits, within him gleam great joys that none can mar. Nor greater theme shall be unfurled until the mending of the world when all shall understand. In solitude had Melkor sought the secret flame whence life was brought and when his search had come to naught dismayed he had returned. Yet in the brilliant Ainu's mind there festered thoughts of every kind but nothing new could Melkor find For being still he yearned. And as the peerless singing soared bold Melkor picked his own reward and from impatience brought discord that through the song now burned. Of ruin and of wrath he raged frustration, loneliness uncaged 'till discord ruled the song. Then softly smiling, Eru stood resolved the discord, made it good and showed proud Melkor that none could make music in his spite. Yet Melkor still this theme defied And in his foe saw light denied Thus darkly confident he vied with Eru's theme of light. With grave decorum Eru grew a third theme hate could not subdue : its sorrow pierced the screeching through and stole away its bite. Then Eru with his features fell unleashed a chord from heights to hell and thus the music ceased. Then silence, stricter than the song Until the father faced the throng Wove words of warning wise yet strong and many things they learned. "The Holy Ones are much in might With proudest Melkor at their height But he shall see that in my spite the song may not be turned. For whoso tries this yet will seem a tributary to the theme to glory greater than his dream to that which he has spurned." Melkor seethed with burning shame From which a secret anger came But not a word he spoke. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And that is currently all we have written. Do you think it is worth it to continue? I would love to have opinions on this.
__________________
Whither you go, may you find light. Await us there--my brother, and me. ~~~~~~~~ Howard Dean in 2004! |
|
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
The working conditions of children. | sisterandcousinandaunt | General Messages | 7 | 02-06-2007 07:18 PM |
Buttons not working today | Spock | Feedback and Tech Problems | 3 | 01-26-2006 07:23 PM |
Dark Lyrics | afro-elf | Entertainment Forum | 84 | 04-02-2004 09:14 PM |
New Working Link for RotK.... | Dúnedain | Lord of the Rings Movies | 23 | 08-21-2003 07:35 PM |
Ok I'm working on it! | Tessar | The Silmarillion | 15 | 11-13-2001 05:41 AM |