The Jokes Thread

[Bombadillo]

There's a nice big funeral home near Fred's house. Its lanscaping is always perfect, all the grass and the trees are green and healthy-looking, the flowers never lose their color. He marvels at it all the time. So when Fred's wife died last September, he held her wake their. After the guests left, he spotted the funeral director and said, "I can never help being amazed by your landscaping. Everything is perfect, almost year-round. How on Earth do you do it!?" The funeral director replied: "Formaldahyde."

worst spelling job I've ever seen there. Oh well...


How do you make holy water?

You boil the hell out of it.

(^ The funeral director told me that second one at my uncle's wake. The preist was stunned that I'd never heard it. I laughed.)