03-04-2003, 01:42 AM | #11 | |||
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Potential ending. (Warning, severe parody.) Gollum falls into the Cracks of Doom, shrieking in terror. "My precious!!!" Sam carries an injured Frodo outside, to await their doom. Arwen rides up on Glorfindel's horse. She hops off, places Frodo and Sam on the horse, and then leaps up behind them. Mount Doom erupts, sending rivers of lava down its slopes. Arwen, Frodo, and Sam gallop away, barely outreaching the advancing lava. Now, in Osgiliath, Frodo and Sam wake up, more refreshed. Aragorn congradulates them on destroying the ring, marries Arwen, and is crowned king. Merry and Pippin are in the crowd, in the armour of Rohan and Gondor respectively. "Too bad this particular plot device only got a small amount of attention," says Merry, indicating the armour. "But I got to meet another Harry Potter-style troll on the battle field, and this time I won," responds Pippin. Back to Frodo and Sam. "Well Sam, it'll be nice to go back to our pristine, untouched Shire after defeating the evil of Mordor," says Frodo. "Yes, I'm sure glad Saruman took absolutely no interest in the Shire, and met a premature and untimely death," says Sam. "Yes, but I think I will go to the Grey Havens inexplicably, no time to explain," blurts Frodo. "But..." Sam is shocked. "Sorry Sam, even the book barely had time to explain this," Frodo says sadly. Shot of Frodo, Bilbo, Gandalf and the Elves sailing into the West.
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"I can add some more, if you'd like it. Calling your Chief Names, Wishing to Punch his Pimply Face, and Thinking you Shirriffs look a lot of Tom-fools." - Sam Gamgee, p. 340, Return of the King Quote:
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