My screenplay

Here's what I have so far. Please tell me what you think, I know it needs work, but I was just so eager to show you! SCENE 1 [The screen is black and silent. Suddenly a single powerful note pierces the silence, and with that not a blue flame without a source, grows and then fades. This flame slightly illuminates two rows of pillars, showing that the flame is in the center of a great hall. This is the only time we see these pillars in the sequence. That single flame “sings” into being a greater flame, mostly on stage right, which writhes, grows, and fades with a powerful theme of music. This flame is mostly blue, but has hints of green in it. Suddenly a red flame appears on the opposite side of the screen, brought into being by an evil sounding theme of music. For a time we see the red and the blue theme seem to fight each other, but though they are different there music somehow intertwines to create a beautiful theme. Eventually the blue theme seems to prevail, and the red flame becomes part of it, being a small background in the theme of music. The whole flame grows suddenly with a powerful not, similar yet more complex then the note that began the sequence, and immediately goes out, the last part visible being the original blue flame in the center. The screen is black.] SCENE 2 [Cut to forest scene, close up of Carandhel’s face. He is an elf. We see him climb with great agility through the trees. As he carefully picks a fruit from a high branch, making sure not to harm the tree, he hears a crackling noise below. Cut to shot of Beledan, a man, walking through woods. He is week, and about to collapse. Carandhel looks at him for a time before speaking.] Carandhel: Who are you? By whose order do you have the right to walk in these land which are the dominion of elves, and not a place of men? Beledan: [startled, looking around for speaker] I am Beledan. I, I have no right, but I beg pardon. I am lost, my people were slain by a great evil that came out of the north. I seek assistance, or at least asylum, before I go to face this evil, for I must revenge my father’s house. [Carandhel jumps lightly down from the tree, landing in front of Beledan, who is startled and starts to reach for his sword, but hesitates and decides against it.] Carandhel: I can grant you leave at least for a time. Come, you seem to need help. I will take you to my people’s dwelling. There your wounds will be mended and your fate decided. Beledan: I thank you, your kindness will be rewarded. [Carandhel and Beledan walk off camera, Carandhel leading the way.] SCENE 3 [Carandhel and Beledan come to a natural gate in the forest. Carandhel whistles like a bird, and we see two gray figures, who were apparently guarding the way but who we did not see, move to the side. Carandhel and Beledan walk forward.] Carandhel: This is Ar-brethil, great city of elves. Beledan: But I see no dwellings. Where is this city? Carandhel: It is all around you. [Carandhel takes a silver woven ladder from the trunk of a tree, the ladder was not seen before. He begins to climb it and bids Beledan to do the same. They reach the top, where there is a sort of tree house which is built to blend in with it’s surrounding in the trees. Carandhel enters it and Beledan follows.]