LOTR meets Gilbert & Sullivan

A parody of Gilbert & Sullivan's "I am the very model of a modern major-general" doubling as a synopsis of The Fellowship of the Ring by yours truly. Use it anywhere else without my permission and I'll smite you.

I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A HERO IN LORD OF THE RINGS

Frodo:
I am the very model of a hero in Lord of the Rings
Though I am not at all related to the line of Elven-Kings
I was only a hobbit living in the safety of the Shire
Until the day that Gandalf came, threw Bilbo's Ring into the fire.

Then it was I learned about the history of Barad-dur
And understood the actions of the ancient warrior Isildur
I was then beset with something greater than the greatest test
To take the Ring to Mordor and destroy it then became my quest.

Chorus:
He was then beset with something greater than the greatest test
To take the Ring to Mordor and destroy it then became his quest
He was then beset with something greater than the greatest test
To take the Ring to Mordor and destroy it then became his quest
He was then beset with something greater than the greatest test
To take the Ring to Mordor and destroy it then became his quest

Frodo:
Day and night I journeyed with my friend and servant Sam Gamgee
As the Riders clothed in Black rode on the trail and followed me
But yet we managed to elude them, proving among many things
I am the very model of a hero in Lord of the Rings.

Chorus:
But yet they managed to elude them, proving among many things
He is the very model of a hero in Lord of the Rings.

Frodo:
Then in the forest we were caught, entangled by that Old Man Willow
Thankfully, we were then rescued by that ol' Tom Bombadillo
But then trouble came again, now in the form of Barrow-Wights
And it was quite a while before we got to safety late one night.

We arrived in Bree that night, and welcomed by old Barliman
But watching us from all around were Southern spies of Saruman
Though we all had a lot of fun, when I began to stand and sing
I slipped and fell and in the process accidentally wore the Ring.

Chorus:
Though they all had a lot of fun, when he began to stand and sing
He slipped and fell and in the process accidentally wore the Ring.
Though they all had a lot of fun, when he began to stand and sing
He slipped and fell and in the process accidentally wore the Ring.
Though they all had a lot of fun, when he began to stand and sing
He slipped and fell and in the process accidentally wore the Ring.

Frodo:
Surely we would have been finished if it weren't for Aragorn
Of the line of Elendil, a Northern Ranger he was born
He was the rightful heir to Gondor and one day he would be King
He is the very model of a hero in Lord of the Rings.

Chorus:
He was the rightful heir to Gondor and one day he would be King
He is the very model of a hero in Lord of the Rings.

Frodo:
Though I was stabbed at Weathertop I still made it to Rivendell
Where I met with Bilbo - did I ever have a tale to tell
We then set off from Elrond's home, now a company of Nine
And Gandalf, he then led us into Moria, the dwarven mines.

Gandalf fought the Balrog, but he fell into the dark abyss
Aragorn led us from there on 'ere the quest should go amiss
We soon met with Galadriel in Lorien, the Golden Wood
And once again set off on foot to Mordor as fast as we could.

Chorus:
They soon met with Galadriel in Lorien, the Golden Wood
And once again set off on foot to Mordor as fast as they could.
They soon met with Galadriel in Lorien, the Golden Wood
And once again set off on foot to Mordor as fast as they could.
They soon met with Galadriel in Lorien, the Golden Wood
And once again set off on foot to Mordor as fast as they could.

Frodo:
Soon we were attacked by orcs, but that was not my greatest fear
Because he tried to take the Ring, did Denethor's son Boromir
I escaped on boat with Sam, thus once again establishing
I am the very model of a hero in Lord of the Rings.

Chorus:
He escaped on boat with Sam, thus once again establishing
He is the very model of a hero in Lord of the Rings.

Feel free to post your own song parodies on this thread... as I probably will continue to do so in the future should I ever have this much time on my hands again...